In the last 7 days, Obama freed the gays*, North Carolina outlawed them, we've celebrated/endured nurses' week, mother's day, and gone through a 12 pack of ginger-ale**. In the last seven days, the boys have worn their raincoats, their winter coats, and their bathing suits- so swings the weather in these parts at this time of the year...
The Ta-bar pool opened today at a crisp, cool 76 degrees. (We all went in but Katy). And I predict both these boys will be swimming without "swimmies" by the end of the summer (Mac and Cam are already there). Softball starts tomorrow. I have a lot to write about, but I'm so very sleepy.
The new job is absurd. Good, but a little like being a lost kid at a big fair... Except, I'm not a kid, and I have a map, but they change the fair grounds every night... and there are a lot of emails... And I keep staying awake every night wondering if I should suggest to my bosses that maybe they should keep the fair grounds looking like the map they hand out. Also, I find myself wanting to shout a lot, "THE EMPEROR HAS NO CLOTHES ON!"
*OBAMA did not actually free the gays, but he did publicly state is personal support for marriage equality which as Joe Biden would say, "...is a big fucking deal."
**Jake was vomiting last weekend and I spent Friday night wondering how my body could eject the contents of my stomach with such force that jet engine blasters seem comparatively ineffectual and weak.
Showing posts with label Cam. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cam. Show all posts
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Wednesday, November 09, 2011
Halloween
There was a big snow storm 2 days before Halloween, so it really screwed things up for that holiday. Somehow, we had our costumes all worked out- well in advance... a miracle for these two somewhat-behind-schedule moms. Then it started to snow about 11am on Saturday. Big, wet flakes that accumulated to about a foot of heavy snow and took out a lot of trees and branches. We were out of power for 5 days- no heat, no electricity, and trick or treating was officially cancelled in our town. But we did dress them up: First from my sister's box of "extra dress up" Jake found his cousin, Cam's witch costume from 2 years ago.
(Jake and Cam are the same age- so that's why he looks a little too sexy for his clothes)
Man, he is Purr-dee... isn't he?!? I think he's very handsome, but he also makes a beautiful princess boy when he wants to!!!
Then, not to be outdone, Milo wanted to wear a dress. So, I couldn't resist putting him into this tiny-dog costume I found. It seemed cruel to undress him for it- we're not raising strippers here, after-all! So I put it on him OVER his clothes!
Awwwwww!
Then the main event... we dressed our boys in their "real costumes" and my sister's girls in the play things of their choice and headed out to the THREE houses in the dark that had candles in their windows.
These were taken at school this week...
The cutest panda ever!!!
Sweet-smile, slouchin' Superman...
Jake as "Clark Kent"
Brothers:
BONUS PIC:
I borrowed my dad's leaf blower and it dangled over the back seat a little. When I looked into the back, Jake had grabbed onto the handle. At the next glance, Milo was imitating him. The image made me laugh- as if they were human bungee cords, keeping the thing from rolling out of the hatchback.
:)
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Newsletter: Month 18
Bless me JB for I have sinned... It has been more than 3 months since your last newsletter.
I can't even believe how far off the train I've fallen... You can blame your baby brother or sister for this. Even though s/he isn't even fully developed yet, let alone born, s/he is already affecting the undivided attention that you've come to expect from your mommies.
Let me explain. No time to essplain... Let me sum up: Your mommy got your mama pregnant about 3 months ago. There was a lot of nausea (and some vomiting) at the beginning and you were very often barely in bed before your mama was asleep. The division of labor was upset, and there was a lot to do that didn't involve the (often pointed out to me by non-bloggers) very indulgent practice of posting snippets of our life up on the web.
Ironically (or perhaps predictably) so much has changed developmentally in these 3 months, that I'm not sure how to sum it up or break it down. You have a huge vocabulary now... you will repeat most of what we say, but you have words that you can conjure up with minimal prompting. Sometimes, you just sit and come up with words. It's like you might be flipping through a mental Rolodex and when you shout them out randomly as you consider them. Last week in the car, you kept repeating, "fire" (Fie-her) a word that you had just learned at Nana and papa's house. Then a few minutes later you kept repeating "owl". I couldn't understand what you were saying b/c you pronounced it like "How-ul" and b/c it was so out of context. When I asked you, "what are you saying? I can't understand what word you are saying." You told me, "how-el... hoo,hoo... howel." I looked at your mama and said, "holy (beep)!" Because I was so impressed at how you were able to communicate your point when you wanted to.
A non-inclusive list of words you know: hot, cold, up, down, water, stairs, bib, spoon, more, ball, hammer, truck, bus, car, please, thank you, help, sit, book, beep-beep, yuck, eww, ut-oh, milk, drink, coffee, sip, apple, pasta,waffle, bean, grape, stawberry, blueberry, melon, cereal, cheerios, potty, poop, tissue, snow, light, bright, arm, eye, nose, cheek, teeth, mouth, leg, foot, toe, knee, finger, head, hair, socks, shirt, shoes, hat, zipper, fire, mama, mommy, papa, nana, grandpa, granny, TT, mackenzie, cam cam, Bella, bill, barbara, heather, alisa, amanda (lots of other names from day care), octopus, walrus, fish, puppy, lobster, lion, monkey... When you say a word that ends in "K", you really enunciate the sound. Like in "Milk"... Think of the guttural sound made in Hebrew if someone said, "L'Chaim" and add that "k" noise.
You are singing (sort of) and counting. Singing usually involves you saying "ABC", or "e-i-ei-o", the word "happy" in a cute sing-songy way, then one of your parents or relatives sings the entire rest of the song for your amusement. If there is not a crowd of people staring at you, you will usually give me a mangled, barely recognizable version of the song's epilogue "Now la-no-na-ABCs, ney ney no new see with me." Your cousin, Cam sings the entire Happy Birthday, in tune, not even missing a word... When she's done you sing the solitary word, "Happy" and then let her cycle through it again solo...
Whenever any music is on, we can usually get a "hooray!" and some swaying out of you. You have 2 basic dance moves: the above mentioned rocking side to side, and the staccato demi-plie where you bend slightly at the knees and kind of bounce up and down for a few counts. You truly dance like a rhythm-less white man at this point, and we've thought of getting you a t-shirt that says, "cool kids rock" to mock the over exaggerated simplicity of your dance moves. It is brutally adorable to us. God knows we are mostly responsible for your repertoire, even though we have been trying to teach to you other dance moves (shoulder bounces, raise the roof, dance with your eyebrows, dance with your neck) no doubt, they will only enhance the perception of you as a mini Rick Ashley with top teeth precariously poised to take a chunk out of your lower lip should you roll an ankle if you get too excited while dancing.
You are very mobile and in control of your body, but you are cautious and only a little interested in climbing. You like ladders and step stools, but will mostly stay off on furniture that isn't meant for climbing. You are also a very good listener, and have taken to sitting at the top of the stairs waiting for us when we run down to the basement, for example.
Your grandpa gave you a plastic basketball hoop for Christmas and at first you were just too short to get the ball in slam-dunk style. Now you have grown, or changed your tactic, or both, and able to get the ball and put it through. Balls have emerged as one of your obsessions. There is no rhyme or reason to your obsessions, and for those who would automatically hear me say you are inclined to love any kind of ball and report that it is your natural inclination as a boy to dwell on balls, I would like to offer your other current obsessions: tissues, shoes, drawing utensils, and the letter "o". (To be fair to the gender police, you are also a truck, bus, and car/steering wheel addict.) Of all of these, the letter O is the most confusing to me, but if you go for a letter on the fridge 9/10 it is "o" and you can pick it off of my Uconn sweatshirt too.
The "tissues" game we play non-stop. You've never met a tissue or wipe, or paper towel you didn't love. You love pulling tissues out of their boxes; and you love wiping things up including your face and tables and chairs; and you love throwing tissues away... you love tissues.
Every day when you see me after I've gotten dressed, you look down at my feet and say, "shoes." I think if I came down wearing a prom dress, or a fire fighter's uniform, you would not even notice except when you looked down at my shoes.
Your behavior for the most part is admirable. You have started whining quite a bit. We try to discourage the whining and you are responsive. The scene is usually,
JB: eh, eh, eh (whiny trying to get something noises)
mommy or mama: That's whining, and it is not the best way to get things, you know.
JB: (without the previous whining tone) peeease.
The other times you have a melt down, it is usually some version of "I want to do it myself", or what I can only describe as a "You don't know me..." rebellion. Several times, we know exactly what is going on. For example, you are hungry and need to eat, but think you don't want to eat and refuse to get in the chair... you offer us every version of "NO" that you have learned (saying the word, shaking the head, swinging the arms, stomping the feet). We have found that if we just back off what we are trying to tell you to do, you circle round and do it. It seems to us like a hungry teenager, shouting, "YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL!"
Some of the sweetest times with you recently involve watching you become a little more independent. You like to draw. As much as not leaving knives and dangerous objects around, we have to remember not to leave crayons and pens around b/c you like to draw and have no idea about why you should draw on paper and not furniture or walls.
You also like to go outside
and will sometimes grab my 15lb purse and sling it over your shoulder, head toward the door and say, "bye-bye". This usually means it is time to do some bird watching: "oooh, burd... tweet, tweet." Now that I am writing about this, I realize it is exactly what anti-gay groups are afraid of, that not having a dad will make you think you need a purse to leave the house. Ironically, i never used a purse at all until after you were born and I had gotten used to having a diaper bag to carry everything around. But I promise, we can replace that Lady's Bulsa with a socially acceptable backpack, or brief case and no matter what those social conservatives think, we know that boys who are comfortable carrying purses (either their own, or those belonging to the women in their lives) are probably more desirable and useful to society than the other segment of the male population.
JB, your bedtime ritual still blows our mind. Between 6:45 and 7:30 depending on how tired you seem, we ask, "Do you want a bath?" You almost always do and head toward the stairs. You can now be heard counting as we climb the stairs. Mama or I say, "one, two" you often hit "three" then we give you "four" and frequently you come up with "five"... For the rest, we are on our own, you can not be bothered to utter a number beyond five at this point, but it is clear that you get the concept. Once we are upstairs, you get your bath toys out of the drawer while we draw the tub and you throw them into the water one by one: boat, truck, truck, duck, walrus, fish, sea horse, lobster, octopus. At some point you usually ask to sit on the potty by pointing or saying "potty" or saying, "euwwww." Except for that one dumpage that solitary time, you haven't so much as tinkled in the pot, but you still want to sit there.
After your bath, we dry you, lotion you up (most days), use a q-tip on your ears. We diaper and dress you in your pjs. We read a book or two (these last few months you have started to become very interested in books); cuddle for a few minutes with your blanket and binki (the only time you use your binki these days is at bedtime and occasionally in the car); and then we put you in your crib. Oh first, we do a lap around your room and say goodnight to a bunch of things in there... always in the same order. Goodnight lion, hippo, monkey, elephant... goodnight choo-choo train, goodnight giraffe, g.n. tigger, g.n. dinosaur (x3), g.n. lizard, g.n. planets... then we kiss and hug you and put you down. And that's it. I mean maybe once a month there are a few tears and we give you "one more hug" and then you just put your head down, dig into a comfy position and fall asleep. The entire routine takes 15 to 30 minutes depending on how much lotion we apply, or how long we let you splash in the tub. And pretty much every single night, we marvel at how amazing you are to let us put you to bed without any drama.
You have clearly demonstrated your capacity for tantrums, but at 18 months old, guess what else you can do? You can whistle. I swear. You are like a Casablanca advertisement: You just put your lips together and blow, and music comes out. This never fails to astound any bystanders...
You are a super star.
We love you so much it hurts.
Your mommies
I can't even believe how far off the train I've fallen... You can blame your baby brother or sister for this. Even though s/he isn't even fully developed yet, let alone born, s/he is already affecting the undivided attention that you've come to expect from your mommies.
Let me explain. No time to essplain... Let me sum up: Your mommy got your mama pregnant about 3 months ago. There was a lot of nausea (and some vomiting) at the beginning and you were very often barely in bed before your mama was asleep. The division of labor was upset, and there was a lot to do that didn't involve the (often pointed out to me by non-bloggers) very indulgent practice of posting snippets of our life up on the web.
Ironically (or perhaps predictably) so much has changed developmentally in these 3 months, that I'm not sure how to sum it up or break it down. You have a huge vocabulary now... you will repeat most of what we say, but you have words that you can conjure up with minimal prompting. Sometimes, you just sit and come up with words. It's like you might be flipping through a mental Rolodex and when you shout them out randomly as you consider them. Last week in the car, you kept repeating, "fire" (Fie-her) a word that you had just learned at Nana and papa's house. Then a few minutes later you kept repeating "owl". I couldn't understand what you were saying b/c you pronounced it like "How-ul" and b/c it was so out of context. When I asked you, "what are you saying? I can't understand what word you are saying." You told me, "how-el... hoo,hoo... howel." I looked at your mama and said, "holy (beep)!" Because I was so impressed at how you were able to communicate your point when you wanted to.
A non-inclusive list of words you know: hot, cold, up, down, water, stairs, bib, spoon, more, ball, hammer, truck, bus, car, please, thank you, help, sit, book, beep-beep, yuck, eww, ut-oh, milk, drink, coffee, sip, apple, pasta,waffle, bean, grape, stawberry, blueberry, melon, cereal, cheerios, potty, poop, tissue, snow, light, bright, arm, eye, nose, cheek, teeth, mouth, leg, foot, toe, knee, finger, head, hair, socks, shirt, shoes, hat, zipper, fire, mama, mommy, papa, nana, grandpa, granny, TT, mackenzie, cam cam, Bella, bill, barbara, heather, alisa, amanda (lots of other names from day care), octopus, walrus, fish, puppy, lobster, lion, monkey... When you say a word that ends in "K", you really enunciate the sound. Like in "Milk"... Think of the guttural sound made in Hebrew if someone said, "L'Chaim" and add that "k" noise.
You are singing (sort of) and counting. Singing usually involves you saying "ABC", or "e-i-ei-o", the word "happy" in a cute sing-songy way, then one of your parents or relatives sings the entire rest of the song for your amusement. If there is not a crowd of people staring at you, you will usually give me a mangled, barely recognizable version of the song's epilogue "Now la-no-na-ABCs, ney ney no new see with me." Your cousin, Cam sings the entire Happy Birthday, in tune, not even missing a word... When she's done you sing the solitary word, "Happy" and then let her cycle through it again solo...
Whenever any music is on, we can usually get a "hooray!" and some swaying out of you. You have 2 basic dance moves: the above mentioned rocking side to side, and the staccato demi-plie where you bend slightly at the knees and kind of bounce up and down for a few counts. You truly dance like a rhythm-less white man at this point, and we've thought of getting you a t-shirt that says, "cool kids rock" to mock the over exaggerated simplicity of your dance moves. It is brutally adorable to us. God knows we are mostly responsible for your repertoire, even though we have been trying to teach to you other dance moves (shoulder bounces, raise the roof, dance with your eyebrows, dance with your neck) no doubt, they will only enhance the perception of you as a mini Rick Ashley with top teeth precariously poised to take a chunk out of your lower lip should you roll an ankle if you get too excited while dancing.
You are very mobile and in control of your body, but you are cautious and only a little interested in climbing. You like ladders and step stools, but will mostly stay off on furniture that isn't meant for climbing. You are also a very good listener, and have taken to sitting at the top of the stairs waiting for us when we run down to the basement, for example.
Your grandpa gave you a plastic basketball hoop for Christmas and at first you were just too short to get the ball in slam-dunk style. Now you have grown, or changed your tactic, or both, and able to get the ball and put it through. Balls have emerged as one of your obsessions. There is no rhyme or reason to your obsessions, and for those who would automatically hear me say you are inclined to love any kind of ball and report that it is your natural inclination as a boy to dwell on balls, I would like to offer your other current obsessions: tissues, shoes, drawing utensils, and the letter "o". (To be fair to the gender police, you are also a truck, bus, and car/steering wheel addict.) Of all of these, the letter O is the most confusing to me, but if you go for a letter on the fridge 9/10 it is "o" and you can pick it off of my Uconn sweatshirt too.
The "tissues" game we play non-stop. You've never met a tissue or wipe, or paper towel you didn't love. You love pulling tissues out of their boxes; and you love wiping things up including your face and tables and chairs; and you love throwing tissues away... you love tissues.
Every day when you see me after I've gotten dressed, you look down at my feet and say, "shoes." I think if I came down wearing a prom dress, or a fire fighter's uniform, you would not even notice except when you looked down at my shoes.
Your behavior for the most part is admirable. You have started whining quite a bit. We try to discourage the whining and you are responsive. The scene is usually,
JB: eh, eh, eh (whiny trying to get something noises)
mommy or mama: That's whining, and it is not the best way to get things, you know.
JB: (without the previous whining tone) peeease.
The other times you have a melt down, it is usually some version of "I want to do it myself", or what I can only describe as a "You don't know me..." rebellion. Several times, we know exactly what is going on. For example, you are hungry and need to eat, but think you don't want to eat and refuse to get in the chair... you offer us every version of "NO" that you have learned (saying the word, shaking the head, swinging the arms, stomping the feet). We have found that if we just back off what we are trying to tell you to do, you circle round and do it. It seems to us like a hungry teenager, shouting, "YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL!"
Some of the sweetest times with you recently involve watching you become a little more independent. You like to draw. As much as not leaving knives and dangerous objects around, we have to remember not to leave crayons and pens around b/c you like to draw and have no idea about why you should draw on paper and not furniture or walls.
You also like to go outside
and will sometimes grab my 15lb purse and sling it over your shoulder, head toward the door and say, "bye-bye". This usually means it is time to do some bird watching: "oooh, burd... tweet, tweet." Now that I am writing about this, I realize it is exactly what anti-gay groups are afraid of, that not having a dad will make you think you need a purse to leave the house. Ironically, i never used a purse at all until after you were born and I had gotten used to having a diaper bag to carry everything around. But I promise, we can replace that Lady's Bulsa with a socially acceptable backpack, or brief case and no matter what those social conservatives think, we know that boys who are comfortable carrying purses (either their own, or those belonging to the women in their lives) are probably more desirable and useful to society than the other segment of the male population.
JB, your bedtime ritual still blows our mind. Between 6:45 and 7:30 depending on how tired you seem, we ask, "Do you want a bath?" You almost always do and head toward the stairs. You can now be heard counting as we climb the stairs. Mama or I say, "one, two" you often hit "three" then we give you "four" and frequently you come up with "five"... For the rest, we are on our own, you can not be bothered to utter a number beyond five at this point, but it is clear that you get the concept. Once we are upstairs, you get your bath toys out of the drawer while we draw the tub and you throw them into the water one by one: boat, truck, truck, duck, walrus, fish, sea horse, lobster, octopus. At some point you usually ask to sit on the potty by pointing or saying "potty" or saying, "euwwww." Except for that one dumpage that solitary time, you haven't so much as tinkled in the pot, but you still want to sit there.
After your bath, we dry you, lotion you up (most days), use a q-tip on your ears. We diaper and dress you in your pjs. We read a book or two (these last few months you have started to become very interested in books); cuddle for a few minutes with your blanket and binki (the only time you use your binki these days is at bedtime and occasionally in the car); and then we put you in your crib. Oh first, we do a lap around your room and say goodnight to a bunch of things in there... always in the same order. Goodnight lion, hippo, monkey, elephant... goodnight choo-choo train, goodnight giraffe, g.n. tigger, g.n. dinosaur (x3), g.n. lizard, g.n. planets... then we kiss and hug you and put you down. And that's it. I mean maybe once a month there are a few tears and we give you "one more hug" and then you just put your head down, dig into a comfy position and fall asleep. The entire routine takes 15 to 30 minutes depending on how much lotion we apply, or how long we let you splash in the tub. And pretty much every single night, we marvel at how amazing you are to let us put you to bed without any drama.
You have clearly demonstrated your capacity for tantrums, but at 18 months old, guess what else you can do? You can whistle. I swear. You are like a Casablanca advertisement: You just put your lips together and blow, and music comes out. This never fails to astound any bystanders...
You are a super star.
We love you so much it hurts.
Your mommies
Saturday, December 13, 2008
I think JB's been reading the blog
I've re-read the last few posts, and it's all fa-la-la and praise for our young son.
But last week, was different. I've heard more screaming and seen more tears drip out of his eyes in the last week than any other week to date (amounts are estimated.)
He either knows he's about to have surgery, or he's been reading the kind words I've written about the positive impact his existence has had on mine (and he's playing it for all it is worth.)
Telephone call from a friend with young children...
Her: How's JB?
Me: Well, he's good. He was doing great last week. But this week, he's being kind of an asshole.
Her: Yeah, sometimes they can be total dicks.
I appreciate having good friends. Most women won't engage me when I start conversations like that. They get freaked out. But fishes, please...* I don't blame him for acting out, but let's tell it like it is. I can empathize with the sharp molars growing out of your gums, but if this is going to be the excuse for bad behavior for the next 2 years, then we better come to some sort of agreement b/c you don't see your mommies falling to pieces every time we shed out uterine linings.
The kid is just having a shitty week. I understand. But it is hard on everyone. Believe me, I am feeling his pain. On Friday, JB bit Cameron at day care. When Kt and I heard about it, we went through all the stages of grief: shock, denial, pain, guilt, anger, bargaining, reflection, acceptance, hope. It might have been simpler had it not been Cameron that he bit... twice. If some other jackass had bit CamCam, I would have gone all Rebecca-Demornay-on-the-playground, but when it was JB, I was torn. "WHY WEREN'T THEY WATCHING HIM MORE CLOSELY?" Katy and I asked one another. (Avoidance)
The kid hasn't been a biter. One time he bit my finger and I gave it back to him to try to explain that he could have it in his mouth but not bite it. When he bit me a 2nd and 3rd time, Katy reprimanded me for teasing him. She thought it was like taunting a dog with a steak that he never gets. "If you don't want him to bite you, don't put your finger near his mouth," she mandated, complaining that I was setting him up to fail. I was only trying to teach him something worthwhile: Big effing deal if you're never exposed to fingers and don't bite!!! It's like memorizing the multiplication tables for 2 and 5, but no one teaching you shit about 3, 4, 7, 8, or 9. It's my job to make sure he's as good on the 7's as he is on the 5's, and if he feels a little bad about himself in the process, that's part of the tragedy of living my little pup!
JB went to bed on Friday night at a holiday party we were attending. It didn't seem weird that it took about 3 times longer than usual to get him down, he's pretty social and I just assumed that he didn't want to be cut out of the festivities. When we got home (had to drive separate cars to and from because of our starting points) Katy informed me that he had screamed the whole way home. Uh-oh. That's not like the little dude.
So, combined- between his bed and ours- he slept about 148 minutes between midnight and 6 am today. Just crying and yelling, shouting and whimpering all night.
It. was. awesome.
I had to assume that CamCam had strung together a curse with her ever-expanding vocabulary, but with the sunlight, came a ton of drool and 2 new teeth are racing to see which cuts through first.
It is much harder with this much crying and grumpiness. I feel bad for him, but it does make a person more tired and less sure of the point when he seems so miserable. Hopefully he will turn a corner soon.
*Not sure if I've mentioned it here yet or not, but the wife and I have started to replace the word, "bitch" in our vocabulary with the word, "fish". This will hopefully keep our kid's mouth soap-free for a little while longer; though it is likely to make him seem a little retarded when he comes out with a pithy but nonsensical: "Why's this fish over here givin' me so much attitude?"
But last week, was different. I've heard more screaming and seen more tears drip out of his eyes in the last week than any other week to date (amounts are estimated.)
He either knows he's about to have surgery, or he's been reading the kind words I've written about the positive impact his existence has had on mine (and he's playing it for all it is worth.)
Telephone call from a friend with young children...
Her: How's JB?
Me: Well, he's good. He was doing great last week. But this week, he's being kind of an asshole.
Her: Yeah, sometimes they can be total dicks.
I appreciate having good friends. Most women won't engage me when I start conversations like that. They get freaked out. But fishes, please...* I don't blame him for acting out, but let's tell it like it is. I can empathize with the sharp molars growing out of your gums, but if this is going to be the excuse for bad behavior for the next 2 years, then we better come to some sort of agreement b/c you don't see your mommies falling to pieces every time we shed out uterine linings.
The kid is just having a shitty week. I understand. But it is hard on everyone. Believe me, I am feeling his pain. On Friday, JB bit Cameron at day care. When Kt and I heard about it, we went through all the stages of grief: shock, denial, pain, guilt, anger, bargaining, reflection, acceptance, hope. It might have been simpler had it not been Cameron that he bit... twice. If some other jackass had bit CamCam, I would have gone all Rebecca-Demornay-on-the-playground, but when it was JB, I was torn. "WHY WEREN'T THEY WATCHING HIM MORE CLOSELY?" Katy and I asked one another. (Avoidance)
The kid hasn't been a biter. One time he bit my finger and I gave it back to him to try to explain that he could have it in his mouth but not bite it. When he bit me a 2nd and 3rd time, Katy reprimanded me for teasing him. She thought it was like taunting a dog with a steak that he never gets. "If you don't want him to bite you, don't put your finger near his mouth," she mandated, complaining that I was setting him up to fail. I was only trying to teach him something worthwhile: Big effing deal if you're never exposed to fingers and don't bite!!! It's like memorizing the multiplication tables for 2 and 5, but no one teaching you shit about 3, 4, 7, 8, or 9. It's my job to make sure he's as good on the 7's as he is on the 5's, and if he feels a little bad about himself in the process, that's part of the tragedy of living my little pup!
JB went to bed on Friday night at a holiday party we were attending. It didn't seem weird that it took about 3 times longer than usual to get him down, he's pretty social and I just assumed that he didn't want to be cut out of the festivities. When we got home (had to drive separate cars to and from because of our starting points) Katy informed me that he had screamed the whole way home. Uh-oh. That's not like the little dude.
So, combined- between his bed and ours- he slept about 148 minutes between midnight and 6 am today. Just crying and yelling, shouting and whimpering all night.
It. was. awesome.
I had to assume that CamCam had strung together a curse with her ever-expanding vocabulary, but with the sunlight, came a ton of drool and 2 new teeth are racing to see which cuts through first.
It is much harder with this much crying and grumpiness. I feel bad for him, but it does make a person more tired and less sure of the point when he seems so miserable. Hopefully he will turn a corner soon.
*Not sure if I've mentioned it here yet or not, but the wife and I have started to replace the word, "bitch" in our vocabulary with the word, "fish". This will hopefully keep our kid's mouth soap-free for a little while longer; though it is likely to make him seem a little retarded when he comes out with a pithy but nonsensical: "Why's this fish over here givin' me so much attitude?"
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Look who's talking
Cam Cam, 9 days from her first birthday, has a list of multisyllable words she can say, including: baby, Elmo, alligator... i shit you not.
Jake's really into the sound "o" right now.
But I guess that blows the (already debunked by mac theory) that a binki might "inhibit language skills".
Anyway, with the election 4 weeks away and the economy in the toilet Kt announced from our bed this morning:
"I have 2 messages for the world... One, CamCam can talk. Two everyone needs to take a xanax and chill the fuck out" (NPR music playing in the background.)
When my super-calm, never anxiety-prone wife is telling the world the "c-t-f-out" we might have a national crisis on our hands.
Jake's really into the sound "o" right now.
But I guess that blows the (already debunked by mac theory) that a binki might "inhibit language skills".
Anyway, with the election 4 weeks away and the economy in the toilet Kt announced from our bed this morning:
"I have 2 messages for the world... One, CamCam can talk. Two everyone needs to take a xanax and chill the fuck out" (NPR music playing in the background.)
When my super-calm, never anxiety-prone wife is telling the world the "c-t-f-out" we might have a national crisis on our hands.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Kissing cousins
This week, they put the kids in the one year old room. It would have been traumatic for JB's mommies if CamCam had not gone in there with him. There are all these new rules about sleeping and eating and wearing shoes... At home, JB is a little bit of a mess. Twice, he's going to bed before 7pm which makes me very sad b/c it means I am seeing him less than an hour at night and about 1.5 hours in the morning (which is not my best time of the day.)
Yesterday, I brought JB to day care and he saw Cam for the first time in 2 days (His grannies have been in town watching him at home since his birthday.) Well, Cammie saw me and started crawling at break-neck pace. And JB started crawling towards her as well. I was nervous that when they met each other he might swat at her or something because he's been a little rambunctious lately. But, when they met up, they both sat up, faced each other and clapped. Then they put their foreheads together and each put their hands on the cheeks of the other. I had to turn away to keep from weeping. It might have been the sweetest thing I have ever seen.
Then, quite unable to drive away at that moment, I stalled by going into the 2 year old room to see Mac. She dropped her spoon and RAN to give me the biggest hug. And the hundreds of hours of driving I've done to put this kid in day care with his cousins is instantly some of the best time I've spent.
Yesterday, I brought JB to day care and he saw Cam for the first time in 2 days (His grannies have been in town watching him at home since his birthday.) Well, Cammie saw me and started crawling at break-neck pace. And JB started crawling towards her as well. I was nervous that when they met each other he might swat at her or something because he's been a little rambunctious lately. But, when they met up, they both sat up, faced each other and clapped. Then they put their foreheads together and each put their hands on the cheeks of the other. I had to turn away to keep from weeping. It might have been the sweetest thing I have ever seen.
Then, quite unable to drive away at that moment, I stalled by going into the 2 year old room to see Mac. She dropped her spoon and RAN to give me the biggest hug. And the hundreds of hours of driving I've done to put this kid in day care with his cousins is instantly some of the best time I've spent.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Day Care is quiet
When we picked JB's day care, we chose one in the town of Midpoint. Midpoint is half way between my work and home. It is also the town I grew up in, play softball in, and and the town my parents, grandparents, and sister & BIL live. Our day care was Mac and Cam's day care and that seemed like a good place for JB too- with his cousins.
Coxsackie spread like a wildfire through the place last week. Cam got it and JB got it too, though b/c he was home with Katy all week and b/c he only had one day of fever and the late arrival of a rash, we didn't know that until his pediatric appointment yesterday.
Cam was sick, my sister was away, and my mom is off for the summer, so the girls were at Nana and Papa's house all last week. Also, because of a self-imposed quarantine (thinking the boy had not been exposed) we stayed away all week. This week, there was a pre-arranged "week of potty training" for Mac-attack that has prolonged the sabbatical from day care for my nieces. (They are both at nana and papa's again b/c my mom cannot stand "leaving one behind," and at our day care, we can arrange a week at 1/2 off the day care price if you give notice that the kids will be out for a pre-planned 5 day stretch, unrelated to illness.)
I'm not sure if JB even notices it, but day care is quiet and lonely without my (sister's) girls there. Even pick up (despite JB's hugs and smiles) is little empty when there is no shout of "TeeeeeeeeTeeeee."
Drop off is even more depressing without my morning hug from Mac and wave from Cam... Driving away this AM, I pouted in silence most of the way to work.
Coxsackie spread like a wildfire through the place last week. Cam got it and JB got it too, though b/c he was home with Katy all week and b/c he only had one day of fever and the late arrival of a rash, we didn't know that until his pediatric appointment yesterday.
Cam was sick, my sister was away, and my mom is off for the summer, so the girls were at Nana and Papa's house all last week. Also, because of a self-imposed quarantine (thinking the boy had not been exposed) we stayed away all week. This week, there was a pre-arranged "week of potty training" for Mac-attack that has prolonged the sabbatical from day care for my nieces. (They are both at nana and papa's again b/c my mom cannot stand "leaving one behind," and at our day care, we can arrange a week at 1/2 off the day care price if you give notice that the kids will be out for a pre-planned 5 day stretch, unrelated to illness.)
I'm not sure if JB even notices it, but day care is quiet and lonely without my (sister's) girls there. Even pick up (despite JB's hugs and smiles) is little empty when there is no shout of "TeeeeeeeeTeeeee."
Drop off is even more depressing without my morning hug from Mac and wave from Cam... Driving away this AM, I pouted in silence most of the way to work.
Monday, July 07, 2008
Tiny dogs and instincts
Tonight, JB had his 2nd screaming match with a little dog.
A few weeks ago, he was low to the ground and a dog barked at him and he threw all four limbs out to each side and screamed a yelp that was at once adorable and new- we had never heard anything like it in pitch or intensity. Also noteworthy was that though he was clearly startled, he did not fall apart or cry. He gave this (insufficiently described above) yelp and looked to us to get him up higher... the noise he created startled the dog into backing up a little too.
Tonight, a friend was holding him, introducing him to the dog (one of those little, white, fluffy jobs) and JB went, "Ahhhhh." Then when that didn't work, "AAAAAAaaaahhhhhhhhh." and finally, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH." Again, he didn't start wailing or crying, but at that point, when I went to him, he grabbed me tightly around the neck. I reassured him and sat him down and we looked at the pooch together.
There is no doubt, he was a little frightened, but he was not terrified, or inconsolable, or unwilling to look and hang with the dog. It honestly seemed to me that he was warning the dog back, marking his space, and/or making his presence known. Once he knew we were with him, he even smiled at the tiny, furry, beast.
I am blown away by little kids; how they are all different, how they cope and learn. I love the animal instinct that played out in the scene described above and yet, I could practically see him "reasoning" his way through the experience. I don't know if this is just an isolated example, or emblematic his personality... something like, "I'm mellow, but don't mess with me, or I'll start barking."
Anyway, I could study this kid as a full time job. I think he's the bomb. I can't wait to find out all the ways he will grow and learn to push our buttons and become whoever he will be...
Sidebar about the "pushing our buttons" thing: Katy and I have been trying to teach JB to wave for weeks now. His cousin Cam (2 weeks younger) has been waving since before mother's day. JB claps and high-fives, but doesn't wave. Cam waves like miss america. She's got both the sweep-the-hand wave and the open-and-close-the-fingers wave. We sit them in front of each other and JB tries to slap Cam's waving hand to her discontented amazement. So, anyway, Katy and I wave hello, we wave goodbye. We move his hand to show him how to make the motions. We try to move his fingers open and closed. We play hello mama/mommy... goodbye mama/mommy for what seems like hours. He won't wave to us for anything. But 3 or 4 times now, we've caught him waving at things when he doesn't know we're looking... his bear, his blocks, and his new planet-mobile: hand opens, fingers spread and hanging out there, hand closes, hand opens- all fingers out, hand closes... It's an unmistakable wave.
We're like, "the little shit knows how to wave, he is just ignoring our begging... leaving us hanging... pretending he doesn't know what we are talking about."
Katy wants to get a t-shirt made for him that says, "I am not a circus animal."
A few weeks ago, he was low to the ground and a dog barked at him and he threw all four limbs out to each side and screamed a yelp that was at once adorable and new- we had never heard anything like it in pitch or intensity. Also noteworthy was that though he was clearly startled, he did not fall apart or cry. He gave this (insufficiently described above) yelp and looked to us to get him up higher... the noise he created startled the dog into backing up a little too.
Tonight, a friend was holding him, introducing him to the dog (one of those little, white, fluffy jobs) and JB went, "Ahhhhh." Then when that didn't work, "AAAAAAaaaahhhhhhhhh." and finally, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH." Again, he didn't start wailing or crying, but at that point, when I went to him, he grabbed me tightly around the neck. I reassured him and sat him down and we looked at the pooch together.
There is no doubt, he was a little frightened, but he was not terrified, or inconsolable, or unwilling to look and hang with the dog. It honestly seemed to me that he was warning the dog back, marking his space, and/or making his presence known. Once he knew we were with him, he even smiled at the tiny, furry, beast.
I am blown away by little kids; how they are all different, how they cope and learn. I love the animal instinct that played out in the scene described above and yet, I could practically see him "reasoning" his way through the experience. I don't know if this is just an isolated example, or emblematic his personality... something like, "I'm mellow, but don't mess with me, or I'll start barking."
Anyway, I could study this kid as a full time job. I think he's the bomb. I can't wait to find out all the ways he will grow and learn to push our buttons and become whoever he will be...
Sidebar about the "pushing our buttons" thing: Katy and I have been trying to teach JB to wave for weeks now. His cousin Cam (2 weeks younger) has been waving since before mother's day. JB claps and high-fives, but doesn't wave. Cam waves like miss america. She's got both the sweep-the-hand wave and the open-and-close-the-fingers wave. We sit them in front of each other and JB tries to slap Cam's waving hand to her discontented amazement. So, anyway, Katy and I wave hello, we wave goodbye. We move his hand to show him how to make the motions. We try to move his fingers open and closed. We play hello mama/mommy... goodbye mama/mommy for what seems like hours. He won't wave to us for anything. But 3 or 4 times now, we've caught him waving at things when he doesn't know we're looking... his bear, his blocks, and his new planet-mobile: hand opens, fingers spread and hanging out there, hand closes, hand opens- all fingers out, hand closes... It's an unmistakable wave.
We're like, "the little shit knows how to wave, he is just ignoring our begging... leaving us hanging... pretending he doesn't know what we are talking about."
Katy wants to get a t-shirt made for him that says, "I am not a circus animal."
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Mama's home
Kt came home last night. JB was very excited to see her. Me too. Being a single mom is exhausting, but being without my boo makes me feel a little lost in the wilderness that is mundane, suburban life. She was only gone 4 days but in that time, I got a little sore throat, 2 sties, my period, and managed to turn the homestead into a flop house...
JB popped his second tooth (Mr Rightie on the bottom next to a rapidly growing Mr Lefty), went swimming in a real pool for the first time, learned how to ooh-waa-ooh-waah (make varied noises with his hand on and off his mouth like a caricature of an Indian), and really started creeping (he will move 3 or 4 feet toward an object he wants like the remote control or our cell phones.) He is becoming such a big boy.
Coxsackie is at the day care. There was a big poster on the door yesterday morning, like a medieval decree. This is a virus that used to be called hoof and mouth disease, then "hand, foot, and mouth disease," Now, as my mother says, "cock-sack-y?!? That seems like a crazy name!?!"
Anyway, JB was a little listless and "not himself this weekend". I put that in quotes because he changes all the time so, it is hard to know if something "new" is the "new normal". Anyway, he was sleeping more and eating less than he usually does, so that could be anything like the heat, or the teeth, or the missing mama, or a boy trying to grow... but now we're waiting to see if a fever and/or spots follow. Cammy felt a little warm last night, but she's the same age as JB and that could be all the above mentioned things too.
JB popped his second tooth (Mr Rightie on the bottom next to a rapidly growing Mr Lefty), went swimming in a real pool for the first time, learned how to ooh-waa-ooh-waah (make varied noises with his hand on and off his mouth like a caricature of an Indian), and really started creeping (he will move 3 or 4 feet toward an object he wants like the remote control or our cell phones.) He is becoming such a big boy.
Coxsackie is at the day care. There was a big poster on the door yesterday morning, like a medieval decree. This is a virus that used to be called hoof and mouth disease, then "hand, foot, and mouth disease," Now, as my mother says, "cock-sack-y?!? That seems like a crazy name!?!"
Anyway, JB was a little listless and "not himself this weekend". I put that in quotes because he changes all the time so, it is hard to know if something "new" is the "new normal". Anyway, he was sleeping more and eating less than he usually does, so that could be anything like the heat, or the teeth, or the missing mama, or a boy trying to grow... but now we're waiting to see if a fever and/or spots follow. Cammy felt a little warm last night, but she's the same age as JB and that could be all the above mentioned things too.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Update on the babies
In the last few days,
(OKAY, first let me say, that the boy got his 3rd ear infection...
We're getting good at this...
Sunday he was unusually cranky; which is to say a little fussy.
Then he woke up screaming at 2:30 am with a fever 102.3.
And so I called the pedi practice first thing and got him in by 10:30...
On antibiotics by noon.)
But that isn't what I was going to say.
The last few days, DESPITE an ear infection, JB has gotten so playful. He is figuring stuff out. He is this close to clapping and he seems to have changed a ton in his understanding of cause and effect.
It is pretty awesome. He keeps doing the cutest thing and "seeing" one of his hands and doing a little baby triple-take as if to say, "W-w-what the hell is that thing." As he slowly pushes his arm straight, he stares at his hand, sometimes turning it over to inspect his palm the way I might turn over the plastic cap of a newly opened bottle of coke, in hesitation and suspicion but still prepared to find an instant winner.
Also, it might still be months away, but when he is on his stomach, he gets up high on all fours and looks like he is going to start lunging and crawling any minute.
So the other kid that needs mentioning is Cam-cam. Remember, she is 2 weeks younger than JB. While his trademark expression is lips pursed but slightly open in what can only be described as a startled surprise, Cam-cam's standard is a wide grin, choking back a giggle reserved for whoever makes eye contact first. When we saw her on Sunday, she demonstrated two perfect versions of a wave: the rapid open-close finger variety, and the 45 degree sweep of the forearm back and forth. Furthermore, she finally proved to me that she will be able to hold her own with her older sister... At the restaurant, she was cultivating a fan base by waving endearingly at the folks at other tables. Jake just stared, brow furrowed, mouth in the normal "O" shape as if to say, "huh. waving... is this what we're supposed to be up to now?" When the other patrons went back to their menus, Cam-cam was a little miffed and kind of screeched after them, arm poised, prepared to commence the continuous waving.
(OKAY, first let me say, that the boy got his 3rd ear infection...
We're getting good at this...
Sunday he was unusually cranky; which is to say a little fussy.
Then he woke up screaming at 2:30 am with a fever 102.3.
And so I called the pedi practice first thing and got him in by 10:30...
On antibiotics by noon.)
But that isn't what I was going to say.
The last few days, DESPITE an ear infection, JB has gotten so playful. He is figuring stuff out. He is this close to clapping and he seems to have changed a ton in his understanding of cause and effect.
It is pretty awesome. He keeps doing the cutest thing and "seeing" one of his hands and doing a little baby triple-take as if to say, "W-w-what the hell is that thing." As he slowly pushes his arm straight, he stares at his hand, sometimes turning it over to inspect his palm the way I might turn over the plastic cap of a newly opened bottle of coke, in hesitation and suspicion but still prepared to find an instant winner.
Also, it might still be months away, but when he is on his stomach, he gets up high on all fours and looks like he is going to start lunging and crawling any minute.
So the other kid that needs mentioning is Cam-cam. Remember, she is 2 weeks younger than JB. While his trademark expression is lips pursed but slightly open in what can only be described as a startled surprise, Cam-cam's standard is a wide grin, choking back a giggle reserved for whoever makes eye contact first. When we saw her on Sunday, she demonstrated two perfect versions of a wave: the rapid open-close finger variety, and the 45 degree sweep of the forearm back and forth. Furthermore, she finally proved to me that she will be able to hold her own with her older sister... At the restaurant, she was cultivating a fan base by waving endearingly at the folks at other tables. Jake just stared, brow furrowed, mouth in the normal "O" shape as if to say, "huh. waving... is this what we're supposed to be up to now?" When the other patrons went back to their menus, Cam-cam was a little miffed and kind of screeched after them, arm poised, prepared to commence the continuous waving.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
JB doesn't understand about saturdays...
It was a long week, during which I did decide to join the crying criers club.
On Wednesday, when all the denial wore off, I was missing my boy and to be honest, my home. If work were a little more "slow" this week I think I would have been able to "hold it all in." But my job this week was to prep for a huge staff presentation and off site meeting that we had yesterday morning. I volunteered to be the point person for that project and got in WAY over my head. Let's just say, I was up past midnight in non-mother related duties 3 nights this week, and went to be at 2am yesterday... Nothing like a little cramming and a mountain of self-expectation to get the party rolling.
The logistics of day care drop-off are getting much more routine all ready. But as the week progressed, I was organized enough to feel some of the emotion of the routine. Also, when I see my nieces at day care (that is supposed to make it easier to leave JB, but) many mornings, it felt like I was leaving three pieces of my heart behind as cam-cam giggles and screeches every time she sees me (every time she sees anyone, really) and Mac sweetly invites you to the big girl room to play stackable blocks with her. So, yeah, by Wednesday, I cried at quick but helpful cry.
... at work... sometimes these things can't be helped.
Katy and I had committed to go to this fundraiser for church last night, but by 9pm we were both zombies... we picked the kid up at S and J's house (friends of ours that we met through kt's work) and They were like, "I thought you were going to go out after the dinner."
Just. couldn't. last.
I was almost moved to tears again when I saw how JB was sweetly sleeping in the arms of S and J's 11 year old daughter. It's good to have friends you trust in terms of "they probably know more about how to care for our baby than we do..." but when these friends also beg, berate, demand, and don't quit until you actually set a babysitting date (and then insist on being the people who run to the store so you aren't arriving late to your "dinner date" when you show up without diapers...) We know we are truly blessed with a proverbial "village" helping us raise this child.
It was a successful week, but I am exhausted. Pumping at work is another element to all of this. I am used to literally working 8.5 to 9 hours most of it in meetings; often eating lunches during meetings, or while "catching up on my computer." I know that is not cool- that getting out of your work setting usually makes you more productive, but before the baby, it would often be 2 or 3 pm before I realized I hadn't taken a break yet. Now I have to find the time every 3-4 hours to pump for 20-30 minutes. That's about 2 hours a day attached to the breast pump (half of it at work.)
Putting that (again) logistical detail aside for a moment, pumping at work is not the same as pumping at home. Even though i am lucky and have an office with a door AND a lock, it was messing with my mind all week:
1) I am doing this for the baby and the baby's best interests, but the baby is nowhere to be found, seen, smelled, or heard.
2) I have to remember to do this for the baby, but the baby is not there to remind me
3) I am at work, in work clothes, that I have to partially remove to be a mammal
4) I have to leave meetings where I am all brain power and verbal "dominance" to go milk myself
5) When I am pumping, it is hard to do other things (even with the special bra-which is a nightmare to put on) but there is not much in my office to do during the pump except surf the net.
I have remarked to some friends, that it feels like it would be as natural for a zebra to be sitting at my computer checking my email as it is for me to be sitting there "acting normal" while I am half undressed pumping the milk out of my titties at the office.
It's one of those, "When you were in high school did you ever think you would end up doing this???" moments.
NOTE: the term "have to" is obviously not accurate, I can stop at any time, but if I want to avoid adding baby formula to our grocery list, this is what I have to do.
Anyway, we had all morning to "sleep in" but the boy doesn't know that... He's like a good do-be and woke up at 5:30 to get washed and dressed for day care. We fed him and he's hopefully about to fall asleep with us again now.
On Wednesday, when all the denial wore off, I was missing my boy and to be honest, my home. If work were a little more "slow" this week I think I would have been able to "hold it all in." But my job this week was to prep for a huge staff presentation and off site meeting that we had yesterday morning. I volunteered to be the point person for that project and got in WAY over my head. Let's just say, I was up past midnight in non-mother related duties 3 nights this week, and went to be at 2am yesterday... Nothing like a little cramming and a mountain of self-expectation to get the party rolling.
The logistics of day care drop-off are getting much more routine all ready. But as the week progressed, I was organized enough to feel some of the emotion of the routine. Also, when I see my nieces at day care (that is supposed to make it easier to leave JB, but) many mornings, it felt like I was leaving three pieces of my heart behind as cam-cam giggles and screeches every time she sees me (every time she sees anyone, really) and Mac sweetly invites you to the big girl room to play stackable blocks with her. So, yeah, by Wednesday, I cried at quick but helpful cry.
... at work... sometimes these things can't be helped.
Katy and I had committed to go to this fundraiser for church last night, but by 9pm we were both zombies... we picked the kid up at S and J's house (friends of ours that we met through kt's work) and They were like, "I thought you were going to go out after the dinner."
Just. couldn't. last.
I was almost moved to tears again when I saw how JB was sweetly sleeping in the arms of S and J's 11 year old daughter. It's good to have friends you trust in terms of "they probably know more about how to care for our baby than we do..." but when these friends also beg, berate, demand, and don't quit until you actually set a babysitting date (and then insist on being the people who run to the store so you aren't arriving late to your "dinner date" when you show up without diapers...) We know we are truly blessed with a proverbial "village" helping us raise this child.
It was a successful week, but I am exhausted. Pumping at work is another element to all of this. I am used to literally working 8.5 to 9 hours most of it in meetings; often eating lunches during meetings, or while "catching up on my computer." I know that is not cool- that getting out of your work setting usually makes you more productive, but before the baby, it would often be 2 or 3 pm before I realized I hadn't taken a break yet. Now I have to find the time every 3-4 hours to pump for 20-30 minutes. That's about 2 hours a day attached to the breast pump (half of it at work.)
Putting that (again) logistical detail aside for a moment, pumping at work is not the same as pumping at home. Even though i am lucky and have an office with a door AND a lock, it was messing with my mind all week:
1) I am doing this for the baby and the baby's best interests, but the baby is nowhere to be found, seen, smelled, or heard.
2) I have to remember to do this for the baby, but the baby is not there to remind me
3) I am at work, in work clothes, that I have to partially remove to be a mammal
4) I have to leave meetings where I am all brain power and verbal "dominance" to go milk myself
5) When I am pumping, it is hard to do other things (even with the special bra-which is a nightmare to put on) but there is not much in my office to do during the pump except surf the net.
I have remarked to some friends, that it feels like it would be as natural for a zebra to be sitting at my computer checking my email as it is for me to be sitting there "acting normal" while I am half undressed pumping the milk out of my titties at the office.
It's one of those, "When you were in high school did you ever think you would end up doing this???" moments.
NOTE: the term "have to" is obviously not accurate, I can stop at any time, but if I want to avoid adding baby formula to our grocery list, this is what I have to do.
Anyway, we had all morning to "sleep in" but the boy doesn't know that... He's like a good do-be and woke up at 5:30 to get washed and dressed for day care. We fed him and he's hopefully about to fall asleep with us again now.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Sick kid on my shoulder
I'm typing with one hand so that our baby can sleep while i blog.
There's no particular reason to multi-task in this way except I think the boy has his 1st cold. I say, "I think," because in lieu of a fever, I'm not sure how you tell if a 3.5 month old is sick. He's just not himself. But as I've pointed out several times in this blog, I don't really know the kid all that well... Maybe he is "changing."
Anyway, the little boo is so sleepy and his eyes are puffy and a little red, and he isn't that interested in the giddy up and go gym and he can't really soothe himself to sleep (which normally he is perfectly content to do.) So, we'll just kind of hold him and love him, make sure he's still peeing, and he wakes up to eat, and we will dose him with Ty.lenol (if it comes to that.)
I didn't yet post about our day-long quest for the perfect day care (this Thursday past). Since Thursday, I've returned to my crazy state of insomnia where I'm up at 2 or 3 am and can't fall back to sleep until 5 or 6am (coincidence? shya.)
I can't deny that there is a part of me that is looking forward to going back to work. I miss the place. I'm good at that job. I get something out of it other than a paycheck. Additionally, there is a part of me that knows... knows (in bold and in italics) that day care can give this kid more than I can.
Yes, you heard me right. Not more love, obviously... but more stability, structure, redundant and focused age-appropriate learning.
I've had 5 or 6 women say to me: "Keep saying that if it makes you feel better." Which i think is kind of f---ing ridiculous to even mentally challenge me on, let along say to a new mom who is about to put her kid in day care (I mean I could go on and on about how annoying that is! Do they not understand about KNOWING something; in both bold and italics)?!? Don't argue with me here, sister.
It is not really a financial option (because we've decided that we don't want to sell our house and live the way we would have to live on only one income) but I feel confident that even if we could afford for me (or katy) to stay home, we would not be able to stay home with him and focus on him to the extent that they will. There will be days where I would be all like, hurry and finish your yogurt so that we can go meet up with the chicks from the View... and TV watching would be just the beginning of all of the things I would be trying to get done during a day... "I know you're tired, but there is only one-day for the 'family and friends ONE DAY sale' at Koh.ls, honey... that day is today, so here's a binkie and try to keep it down..."
Still, there is a part of me (and I know katy shares in this) that gets physically ill at the prospect of being away from him for that huge percentage of our day.
We visited 4 day care establishments on Thursday, and decided to register JB at the day care attended by his cousins. This decision will require JB's mommies to increase their work commutes, but the day care is located just about half-way between my work and home. It was the cleanest looking of the four, the director appears to be well liked and kind. It comes with "adult" family back up only minutes away, and JB and Cam will spend their days in each other's company. Mac will be in the next room and we were told she asks to come in the newborn room 1-2 times a day to pat Cam on the head and say Hi.
The other night when we drove to check out the evening traffic route, a dry-run for day care "pick up," we met my sister and her little ones in the parking lot. I can't say that the comparative quality of the facility isn't highest on our list of priorities, but when Mac motioned for me to put JB's carrier down so that she could plant a kiss on his cheek, it was an endearingly compelling argument. She even made the "kiss noise" for him, which is an extra nugget of sweetness the rest of us don't always earn.
So it is probably no coincidence either that after spending 10 to 20 minutes each in 4 separate day care centers, the boy seems to have come down with his first cold....
whatchagonnado?
There's no particular reason to multi-task in this way except I think the boy has his 1st cold. I say, "I think," because in lieu of a fever, I'm not sure how you tell if a 3.5 month old is sick. He's just not himself. But as I've pointed out several times in this blog, I don't really know the kid all that well... Maybe he is "changing."
Anyway, the little boo is so sleepy and his eyes are puffy and a little red, and he isn't that interested in the giddy up and go gym and he can't really soothe himself to sleep (which normally he is perfectly content to do.) So, we'll just kind of hold him and love him, make sure he's still peeing, and he wakes up to eat, and we will dose him with Ty.lenol (if it comes to that.)
I didn't yet post about our day-long quest for the perfect day care (this Thursday past). Since Thursday, I've returned to my crazy state of insomnia where I'm up at 2 or 3 am and can't fall back to sleep until 5 or 6am (coincidence? shya.)
I can't deny that there is a part of me that is looking forward to going back to work. I miss the place. I'm good at that job. I get something out of it other than a paycheck. Additionally, there is a part of me that knows... knows (in bold and in italics) that day care can give this kid more than I can.
Yes, you heard me right. Not more love, obviously... but more stability, structure, redundant and focused age-appropriate learning.
I've had 5 or 6 women say to me: "Keep saying that if it makes you feel better." Which i think is kind of f---ing ridiculous to even mentally challenge me on, let along say to a new mom who is about to put her kid in day care (I mean I could go on and on about how annoying that is! Do they not understand about KNOWING something; in both bold and italics)?!? Don't argue with me here, sister.
It is not really a financial option (because we've decided that we don't want to sell our house and live the way we would have to live on only one income) but I feel confident that even if we could afford for me (or katy) to stay home, we would not be able to stay home with him and focus on him to the extent that they will. There will be days where I would be all like, hurry and finish your yogurt so that we can go meet up with the chicks from the View... and TV watching would be just the beginning of all of the things I would be trying to get done during a day... "I know you're tired, but there is only one-day for the 'family and friends ONE DAY sale' at Koh.ls, honey... that day is today, so here's a binkie and try to keep it down..."
Still, there is a part of me (and I know katy shares in this) that gets physically ill at the prospect of being away from him for that huge percentage of our day.
We visited 4 day care establishments on Thursday, and decided to register JB at the day care attended by his cousins. This decision will require JB's mommies to increase their work commutes, but the day care is located just about half-way between my work and home. It was the cleanest looking of the four, the director appears to be well liked and kind. It comes with "adult" family back up only minutes away, and JB and Cam will spend their days in each other's company. Mac will be in the next room and we were told she asks to come in the newborn room 1-2 times a day to pat Cam on the head and say Hi.
The other night when we drove to check out the evening traffic route, a dry-run for day care "pick up," we met my sister and her little ones in the parking lot. I can't say that the comparative quality of the facility isn't highest on our list of priorities, but when Mac motioned for me to put JB's carrier down so that she could plant a kiss on his cheek, it was an endearingly compelling argument. She even made the "kiss noise" for him, which is an extra nugget of sweetness the rest of us don't always earn.
So it is probably no coincidence either that after spending 10 to 20 minutes each in 4 separate day care centers, the boy seems to have come down with his first cold....
whatchagonnado?
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Twins
Today, Cam-Cam who was a little under the weather came to visit with her cousin and me. We had a nice day, and I got some serious cuddle time with the little girl who is so often content to chill and watch a room full of activity in a bouncy seat.
There was a little more crying than I am used to; and I give serious props to the parents and primary care takers of twins. I mean doing that back and forth from baby to baby, for a day here and there is one thing, but... day in and day out: Making sure that you are paying the right kind of attention to both simultaneously and appropriately prioritizing different kinds of cries and needs... that's a ton of mental and emotional work.
I'm glad Web and I dodged a bullet and neither one of us had twins this time around, because I'm pretty sure I couldn't handle 3 infant cuties at once!
There was a little more crying than I am used to; and I give serious props to the parents and primary care takers of twins. I mean doing that back and forth from baby to baby, for a day here and there is one thing, but... day in and day out: Making sure that you are paying the right kind of attention to both simultaneously and appropriately prioritizing different kinds of cries and needs... that's a ton of mental and emotional work.
I'm glad Web and I dodged a bullet and neither one of us had twins this time around, because I'm pretty sure I couldn't handle 3 infant cuties at once!
Friday, December 28, 2007
Newsletter: Month 3
"J, my boy,"
Today you are 3 months old.
Mommy just came back from the hospital, and there is some sad news to tell you about your Papa's mom. This last month has been filled with joy, celebrations with family, and quiet times watching you develop and expand in cuteness, but your "G.G." passed away this afternoon and that will overshadow most of this letter to you. Even though she's been sick these last few months, she's been in good spirits and never more so than when she was holding or talking to you, Mac, and Cam-cam.
When I got to the hospital today, I bent down to say "Hi Geej."* She smiled sweetly when she saw me, and through her morphine haze she asked, "How's J?" After I told her you were doing great, she smiled again and then she muttered "J. my boy..." several times as she settled back into sleep.
*When her first great grandchild was born, my gram renamed herself G.G. (as in Great-Grandma) but when she signed cards, she wrote, "Gigi," fully embracing her new, more exotic identity. She allowed us grand kids to tease her and we shortened her name to the one syllable, "Geej." And she giggled pretty much every time we said it.
The events leading up to today, when grandma passed away, have made me proud to raise you in a family that takes such good care of each other. When G.G. needed a place to stay, my mom (your Nana) didn't hesitate to tell my dad to bring her home. My dad (your Papa) spent every day for the last 4 months making his home more comfortable for her, talking to her, laughing with her, comforting her, placing his grandchildren in her arms, and tucking her into bed. When she was short of breath, he carried her up the stairs at night. When she was hospitalized and moved to a nursing home last week, he spent most of the hours of every day visiting her and helping to coordinate her care. He was by her side, holding her hand and stroking her hair for most of her last 20 hours and at the time of her death.
But that's not all. So many people in our life teach us generosity by practicing it and not preaching it. Grandma Bella spent special time with GG, taking care of her, offering companionship and friendship as well as support to her daughter and son in law. Your Uncle Bill and especially your Aunt Teri were selfless and tireless in the time they offered to Geej, making sure their daughters got to know and love their GG. Your mama was here every day listening, offering support, and loving us. Your grannies were here today, and they babysat you and went grocery shopping, and prepared a meal of wonderful comfort-food.
We will try to teach you that death is a part of life, that being good to each other while we are here is the only thing that matters. Hopefully the reward of a life well-lived is more than the combination of who you leave behind and what happens in the next realm; but my eyes are a little misty knowing that you will grow up not ever remembering your GG and her crazy stories. She was independent-minded, energetic, and spirited as a younger woman. She was bright and had kind eyes and a semi-permanent smile. She loved a good tale, a catchy tune, and a quick wit. She appreciated mischievousness. If she called you "a rascal" it was a compliment.
Your Papa was her baby boy. He has no choice but to lead us in this grief process. I feel sure that you and your cousins (more than any of us) will be the ones that fill his heart with the peace and comfort he seeks. (If you can, fall asleep on his chest regularly and often... that seems to be the best therapy for any heartache.)
Just a few days ago, we celebrated our first Christmas together. It was exhausting, but you know... wonderful. You were a star as the baby Jesus in the Christmas pageant. You had your eyes open the entire time and just sort of bobbed your head looking around, curiously during the entire "show". You were just as big a hit playing the part of "tiny parishioner," when we went back for the 9pm service.
We finally put you in your own room this month. We set up a space heater so both mommies could feel comfortable having you 2 doors away without a blanket (as recommended by all health care providers.) When you slept noisily in our room, we didn't heed professional advice, choosing to instead follow our "blanketing" instincts as the season changed from fall to winter.
You sprouted eyelashes this month that grew and grew. Seemingly overnight. Really. One day, no eyelashes. Then tiny eyelashes. Then lashes like a mascara ad.
You also have been laughing up a storm. This is the month I have felt convinced beyond the shadow of a doubt that you know your mama and me and we amuse you to no end (as long as you are recently fed, diapered, and not overtired.) Speaking of well-fed, you are still breastfeeding like a champ, and I am pretty comfortable with the arrangement. You take a bottle with no problem if I am unavailable, but otherwise it is you and I trying to negotiate a "whatever you need" boobie-buffet, that potentially includes a 5-6 hour stretch of sleep at night which I like to call, "time off for good behavior."
Things you like this month: 1) Your giddy up and go gym- we think you are in love with the sheriff/hen. You talk to that thing like you are gossiping with the girls from Sex in the City.
2) Morning play time with Mama. You giggle and laugh with her every day, as I try to pull myself out of the coma that results when I finally get more than 3 consecutive hours of sleep.
3) And of course, time with Mac and Cam. The cutest thing keeps happening now... if you and Cam are laying side by side. Both of you are starting to realize that you have limbs, but are still painfully unaware of exactly how they operate. You frequently get your fingers all accidentally intertwined with one another. Mac is all ready a doting older cousin. When she sees either of your parents or talks to us on the phone, she will immediately cock her head to one side and hold her hands palms upward and in a type of shrug, asking, "J?" At least one time when she realized I was visiting without you, the conversation literally went: "Hi, tt... J?!?" and then when I explained that J was home with Kt, she shook her head sadly saying, "Bye, tt." Which I'm pretty sure was meant to communicate, "You can go now."
Things we like this month:
1) Snuggling you and letting you sleep on our chests, even though you could go down and sleep in your crib;
2) Watching you grow ever more observant. You look at things. You watch us. You notice changes and follow things, and interact with your toys and your family...
3) Dressing you up in the tiny-man clothes we have acquired; sweaters, flannel shirts, jeans, and cords are among my favorites.
4) Bath time...
You've taken your last bath in the kitchen sink (at least until you can sit up independently.) You just simply grew out of that space. One night, you kicked your feet against one sink wall, and only your mama's hand, cushioning the blow at the last second, prevented a concussion. But the bigger space in the bath tub has allowed for ongoing family bath time. I love bathing you! It is simply the most relaxing and rewarding chore I have. You freak out a little every time you first get in. Then you stare at me with an expression that seems to say, "I've got my eye on you, Sparky." And slowly, you settle in and chill out. I've also started taking you in the shower with me sometimes, and that is less relaxing for both of us, but a cool bonding experience nonetheless.
This month I experienced what I will refer to as my first bout of Mama-bear possessiveness. There was this one day when a coworker asked to hold you (I took you to my work's Holiday luncheon.) You started to fall asleep on her shoulder and though my back was a little sore from holding you, though I was relieved that you were giving in to sleep, and even though I like and trust this woman, I inexplicably wanted to slap her across the face and snatch you back hissing, "THAT MY BABY!" It was weird, but I acknowledged it and let it pass, realizing that type of jealous-esque emotion is bound to be more regular than I am comfortable with.
You are such a good little boy and have already brought us more joy than we imagined possible. We are still exhausted and adjusting to the changes in our life, marital relationship, and sleep patterns, but we are completely grateful for you. And can barely remember a time before you were here.
We love you.
Your mommies
Today you are 3 months old.
Mommy just came back from the hospital, and there is some sad news to tell you about your Papa's mom. This last month has been filled with joy, celebrations with family, and quiet times watching you develop and expand in cuteness, but your "G.G." passed away this afternoon and that will overshadow most of this letter to you. Even though she's been sick these last few months, she's been in good spirits and never more so than when she was holding or talking to you, Mac, and Cam-cam.
When I got to the hospital today, I bent down to say "Hi Geej."* She smiled sweetly when she saw me, and through her morphine haze she asked, "How's J?" After I told her you were doing great, she smiled again and then she muttered "J. my boy..." several times as she settled back into sleep.
*When her first great grandchild was born, my gram renamed herself G.G. (as in Great-Grandma) but when she signed cards, she wrote, "Gigi," fully embracing her new, more exotic identity. She allowed us grand kids to tease her and we shortened her name to the one syllable, "Geej." And she giggled pretty much every time we said it.
The events leading up to today, when grandma passed away, have made me proud to raise you in a family that takes such good care of each other. When G.G. needed a place to stay, my mom (your Nana) didn't hesitate to tell my dad to bring her home. My dad (your Papa) spent every day for the last 4 months making his home more comfortable for her, talking to her, laughing with her, comforting her, placing his grandchildren in her arms, and tucking her into bed. When she was short of breath, he carried her up the stairs at night. When she was hospitalized and moved to a nursing home last week, he spent most of the hours of every day visiting her and helping to coordinate her care. He was by her side, holding her hand and stroking her hair for most of her last 20 hours and at the time of her death.
But that's not all. So many people in our life teach us generosity by practicing it and not preaching it. Grandma Bella spent special time with GG, taking care of her, offering companionship and friendship as well as support to her daughter and son in law. Your Uncle Bill and especially your Aunt Teri were selfless and tireless in the time they offered to Geej, making sure their daughters got to know and love their GG. Your mama was here every day listening, offering support, and loving us. Your grannies were here today, and they babysat you and went grocery shopping, and prepared a meal of wonderful comfort-food.
We will try to teach you that death is a part of life, that being good to each other while we are here is the only thing that matters. Hopefully the reward of a life well-lived is more than the combination of who you leave behind and what happens in the next realm; but my eyes are a little misty knowing that you will grow up not ever remembering your GG and her crazy stories. She was independent-minded, energetic, and spirited as a younger woman. She was bright and had kind eyes and a semi-permanent smile. She loved a good tale, a catchy tune, and a quick wit. She appreciated mischievousness. If she called you "a rascal" it was a compliment.
Your Papa was her baby boy. He has no choice but to lead us in this grief process. I feel sure that you and your cousins (more than any of us) will be the ones that fill his heart with the peace and comfort he seeks. (If you can, fall asleep on his chest regularly and often... that seems to be the best therapy for any heartache.)
Just a few days ago, we celebrated our first Christmas together. It was exhausting, but you know... wonderful. You were a star as the baby Jesus in the Christmas pageant. You had your eyes open the entire time and just sort of bobbed your head looking around, curiously during the entire "show". You were just as big a hit playing the part of "tiny parishioner," when we went back for the 9pm service.
We finally put you in your own room this month. We set up a space heater so both mommies could feel comfortable having you 2 doors away without a blanket (as recommended by all health care providers.) When you slept noisily in our room, we didn't heed professional advice, choosing to instead follow our "blanketing" instincts as the season changed from fall to winter.
You sprouted eyelashes this month that grew and grew. Seemingly overnight. Really. One day, no eyelashes. Then tiny eyelashes. Then lashes like a mascara ad.
You also have been laughing up a storm. This is the month I have felt convinced beyond the shadow of a doubt that you know your mama and me and we amuse you to no end (as long as you are recently fed, diapered, and not overtired.) Speaking of well-fed, you are still breastfeeding like a champ, and I am pretty comfortable with the arrangement. You take a bottle with no problem if I am unavailable, but otherwise it is you and I trying to negotiate a "whatever you need" boobie-buffet, that potentially includes a 5-6 hour stretch of sleep at night which I like to call, "time off for good behavior."
Things you like this month: 1) Your giddy up and go gym- we think you are in love with the sheriff/hen. You talk to that thing like you are gossiping with the girls from Sex in the City.
2) Morning play time with Mama. You giggle and laugh with her every day, as I try to pull myself out of the coma that results when I finally get more than 3 consecutive hours of sleep.
3) And of course, time with Mac and Cam. The cutest thing keeps happening now... if you and Cam are laying side by side. Both of you are starting to realize that you have limbs, but are still painfully unaware of exactly how they operate. You frequently get your fingers all accidentally intertwined with one another. Mac is all ready a doting older cousin. When she sees either of your parents or talks to us on the phone, she will immediately cock her head to one side and hold her hands palms upward and in a type of shrug, asking, "J?" At least one time when she realized I was visiting without you, the conversation literally went: "Hi, tt... J?!?" and then when I explained that J was home with Kt, she shook her head sadly saying, "Bye, tt." Which I'm pretty sure was meant to communicate, "You can go now."
Things we like this month:
1) Snuggling you and letting you sleep on our chests, even though you could go down and sleep in your crib;
2) Watching you grow ever more observant. You look at things. You watch us. You notice changes and follow things, and interact with your toys and your family...
3) Dressing you up in the tiny-man clothes we have acquired; sweaters, flannel shirts, jeans, and cords are among my favorites.
4) Bath time...
You've taken your last bath in the kitchen sink (at least until you can sit up independently.) You just simply grew out of that space. One night, you kicked your feet against one sink wall, and only your mama's hand, cushioning the blow at the last second, prevented a concussion. But the bigger space in the bath tub has allowed for ongoing family bath time. I love bathing you! It is simply the most relaxing and rewarding chore I have. You freak out a little every time you first get in. Then you stare at me with an expression that seems to say, "I've got my eye on you, Sparky." And slowly, you settle in and chill out. I've also started taking you in the shower with me sometimes, and that is less relaxing for both of us, but a cool bonding experience nonetheless.
This month I experienced what I will refer to as my first bout of Mama-bear possessiveness. There was this one day when a coworker asked to hold you (I took you to my work's Holiday luncheon.) You started to fall asleep on her shoulder and though my back was a little sore from holding you, though I was relieved that you were giving in to sleep, and even though I like and trust this woman, I inexplicably wanted to slap her across the face and snatch you back hissing, "THAT MY BABY!" It was weird, but I acknowledged it and let it pass, realizing that type of jealous-esque emotion is bound to be more regular than I am comfortable with.
You are such a good little boy and have already brought us more joy than we imagined possible. We are still exhausted and adjusting to the changes in our life, marital relationship, and sleep patterns, but we are completely grateful for you. And can barely remember a time before you were here.
We love you.
Your mommies
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