Just so %!*#ing heartbreaking

Two more...

These are older videos:

From May 2010..



and from Dec 2009...

Brothers at play

Katy took this video of the boys at the park last night.
I just love it!
I love the way it is shot at their level...
I love that it is just them...
This is exactly how they are right now-
JB is at his best when he is running with, entertaining, and/or coaching his brother.
ML (as he has since he first learned to laugh) reserves his most genuine, heartfelt laugh for his brother.

I have this joke that I tell when people ask what the boys are like:
"In the worst case scenario," I say, "JB will grow up jealous and sullen that his brother doesn't follow the rules, and gets to have so much fun... And ML," there I pause for dramatic effect, "Will end in prison... But, if all goes well, they will keep each other in balance."




I love ML's sheer joy.
And I love the part where JB says, "Get up here, Mi..."

I think this video clearly shows how well the balancing act works so far.
(sigh)

UPDATE: Wow... Bill Maher- Truth teller

UPDATE: HBO pulled the video, but has the transcript here.



--------------------
I didn't laugh, so much as cringed- sometimes the truth does hurt.

Beware of the red balloon

I was totally entertained by this, until the end when the implications of it kind of...
totally...
freaked.
me.
out.



Pretty awesome, right?
I couldn't do it, but shouldn't it be harder than that to hack time square?!?

Pink is Perfect

The boys and I are on our own for the weekend.
We sent Mama off to have some adult time with her Smithy friends.

So, I don't see myself getting a ton of blogging time...

BUT, I would like to say that I started a fan page on Facebook for the GSO, and the fans came through like champs! We had 60 FB "LIKEs" in 24 hours!!! Very cool.
So now we have an official and personalized Facebook address:
http://www.facebook.com/ginsoakedolive

nice.
-------------
For a musical interlude, I present this P!nk video. (hat tip Joe.my.god)

I didn't know that the version of "Perfect" that they've been playing on the radio is an edited version. I like that one. But i really love this one.

In fact, I really love Pink.
This single is typical; and a terrific example of why: strong, solid, funky, fun, tough, real, a memorable beat, an important lesson. I'm not sure she's released a single that I didn't like.
She is tough and hot.

The f-bomb is not necessary to enjoy the song (I'll definitely purchase the clean version so I can sing it to my boys) but watching the video, you realize that the song is not about teeny-bopper issues, it is real and heavy and an f-bomb (or 40) is not going too far.

WARNING:
- This video opens with brief, awkward sex that turns out to be "marital" in nature
- This video contains the word "fuck"; used as a gerund (I think it's a gerund; it may be an adverb, as it is a modifier of a predicate adjective; I think an adjective that modifies another adjective is an adverb... School teachers and editors please weigh in... This will probably keep me up tonight wondering)
- This video contains images of a young woman cutting herself in the bathtub



Pink is HOT!
Fucking Perfect? Right?

A wacko with a legal gun in Arizona and 31 bullets before he had to pause to reload

I haven't said anything here on the blog yet about the act of domestic terrorism that occurred 2 Saturdays ago in Tuscon, AZ. I am very troubled by it and very angry and have been waiting a little until some of the sharpness of my emotional reaction is filed down a bit by time. In case you are living under a rock and don't know the story, a 22 year old American went to the "Congress in your Corner" event for Gabrielle Giffords in front of a Safeway in Tuscon. With a semi-automatic Glock that had an ammunition clip containing 31 bullets, he shot 19 people, killing 6 including a 30 year old congressional aid, a 63 year old federal judge, and a 9 year old girl who was born on September 11, 2001.

The murderer and would-be assassin shot Congresswoman Giffords in the forehead from 1-3 feet away, and the bullet went straight through the left side of her brain. The motive seems to be paranoia, anti-government sentiment, and mental illness. The conservative-wing of the Republican party seems to have been has been turned upside-down and their righteous indignation has been scattered all over the carpet like a pocketful of coins- due to the ensuing discussion of relevant information that unfolded during the reporting of the story.

This particular area of the country is one of the districts that Sarah Palin marked a with cross-hairs on a map to say that the incumbent congresswomen needed to be "taken out" during the most recent election cycle in November 2010. Several days after the shooting, Palin herself release a video commentary drenched in politics, the first half of which said, (I'm about to paraphrase while using quotes:) "I care a lot about the victims too... God will hopefully help them... but I'm here to talk about me: Healthy critique and criticism in a democracy- like I inspired when I put the up the map with cross-hairs on my website; and promptly took down a few hours after the shooting- is not only good, it is paramount to preserving liberty. This happened only because of an evil man. Anyone who even talks about violent rhetoric as it relates to me or this tragedy is an asshole who hates America!!!" Then in the 2nd half of the video she pretty clearly says, (again, I paraphrase:) "Besides, this guy was a commie, pinko, nut job and if anyone is to blame, it is liberals. They are very evil themselves for attempting to take part in healthy critique and criticism (of me)! That is not what America is about!!! God bless, God, God, Blah, blah, God, God, America..."

I swear this is a fairly accurate recap... you can see the video yourself here if you are into it. (I watched it twice, but I admit that was only because I fell asleep a little the first time.)

Since the day of the shooting- while the congresswomen fights for her life, has endured at least 4 surgeries, and starts to learn how to stand, walk, speak, and understand what a mobile phone is for again- The NRA has gone out straight up with the battle cry of guns don't kill people, deranged people kill people and there should be NO RESTRICTIONS whatsoever on GUNS. The republicans (for the most part, though it seems like Dick Cheney might be a notable exception) have been unwilling even to discuss the re-enactment of a Clinton era bill that outlawed magazine clips that contain more than 10 bullets for semi-automatic weapons.

The story from AZ that day is that the gun man was stopped when he ran out of bullets. When the magazine was empty and he tried to change the ammunition clip, he was overpowered by 2-3 men and a women who were present and are now hailed as heroes. There was also at least one witness present who was armed, but never drew his weapon because as a responsible gun owner he was afraid that he would either have killed the wrong person or be mistaken as a second shooter and be killed himself.

All of Fox news and most of the GOP cried holy hell when the Sheriff in that district stated in the immediate aftermath of the tragedy (and has refused to apologize, recant, or back away from his assertion) that the violent rhetoric that exists in the area is so significant that if it did not contribute to the cause of an incident like this, at a minimum, it made this event something that should not have been a surprise.

I'm compelled to write today, because this clip from the Lawrence O'Donnell show made me just SHUT my mouth. I shut my mouth because finally someone said something so close to what I want to say that, well, there is nothing really more to say... Watch:



Don't... be silly.

Another ridiculous week

I'm so wiped out, right now. But so happy.

It got hot again this week- 90 plus degrees for 4 or 5 days now.

A hurricane is on the way: Earl.
It shouldn't be that big if/when it hits us (they think category 2) but we bought some water and supplies just in case.

Last weekend, my gram fell and broke her wrist at a funeral we were attending. She's fine, but watching her go thru that left a lot of us a little shaky.

After getting to see many good peeps this weekend, Katy and I got sick Sunday night. We had the exact same symptoms, and the exact same time of onset- so we couldn't blame one another like we normally might.

We only occasionally glared with contempt and animosity at our two boys, perfectly healthy little cesspools that they are... whatever virus caused their barely noticeable runny noses and crankiness last week turns the adults of the house into piles of tissue-seeking, sinus-head-achy, sleeping with cough drops in our mouths, and taking advil around the clock, sudafed addicts.

JB looked at my pathetic, sickly expression yesterday morning, took out a notebook, and with the speed of an expert Nurse Practitioner writing a prescription for Victoza, he drew me a masterpiece that resembled a Sine curve in black, fine point ink and told me, "This is for you... so that you can have it... for work."

Read between the lines, people! He really gets me, and knew that it would help my cold (and my feelings of desperation) to have a piece of him with me all day.

Not to be outdone, ML waited all day at day care- doing his thing, which involves dragging his care-givers around in circles, clutching one of their fingers as if he is Gollum and the finger he is holding is wearing the RING- until I walked thru the door at 4:40pm. He stood, steadied by his band of merry women, and walked to me. WALKED. Not dragging someone with him by their finger. Not 1 or 2 steps... no. It was at least 6 steps. It felt like 7 or 8 or 10 steps before he reached me.

I was in awe. Laughing and cheering. I assumed he'd been doing this all day, but the expressions on his care givers' faces indicated to me that either they would go on to win academy awards one day, or this was the first time they had seen ML deliver on the promise of upright mobility too. "We knew you could do it!" they shouted and clapped...

I was prepared to go home and not see this behavior again for a while. When ML laughed for the first time, he giggled and chortled for a full 15 minutes and then we didn't hear it again for 3 or 6 weeks. But last night, he walked and walked and walked.

And tonight, we got a digital recording of it:



Um, yeah. That right there? That is on day TWO of walking... In his life.
DAY.
TWO.

Awesome. (Sung in a high-pitched vibrato)

JB has been very sweet, encouraging ML to walk.

He has paused a moment several times to look at us with a cocked head and an expression of, "WTF is everyone so worked up about... I 'been walking up in here for several years now, fishes!!!"

But he seems to understand enough to shake that confusion from his eyes and mirror our excited and proud reactions. Already, Katy and I have stopped cheering for every one of ML's new steps. (Mostly it is because our energy levels are low and our minds are fragile and limp from the week's "illness"... But also, I mean, do you see how many STEPS this kid is taking?!? Constant cheering of that volume is a lot to ask...) Anyway, JB- you can hear him in the background of that recording- if he sees ML walking and we are not making a big enough deal about it, he brings it to our attention: "HE'S DOING IT... HE'S WALKING."

I think he is trying to show how supportive he is (we heap praise on JB whenever he acts the part of "doting brother.") But the expression in his voice doesn't quite get to, "LOOK AT MY AWESOME BROTHER!!!" He instead sounds equal parts excited, panicked, and underwhelmed; like he could be saying, "LOOK THERE, HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS OWN POO AGAIN, LIKE I TOLD YOU HE WOULD..."

I said to Katy tonight, "I don't remember being this excited when JB took his first steps."
She said, "You were."
Memory is a strange thing. Every day I am totally enthralled, enamored, and sometimes freaked out by how amazing JB is, but I really don't remember him being as awesome as ML is at this age. Maybe I wasn't paying enough attention back then. Maybe there's not enough brain power to store specific feelings. Maybe I'm successfully "living in the moment". Maybe it's what we always blame it on: sleep deprivation. In any case, just to bring my heart back there, I went searching for this post: Evidence of Walking.

Like I've said before:
The heart and body remember things the mind can't...
For the rest of it... I guess that's why there are cameras.

Bottom line: I sure do love these boys.

Tonight, to celebrate, we went to the pool.
The perfect way to end a 94 degree day.

I feel very, very blessed!

Hey batter batter

This is JB and ML pretending to play baseball in our kitchen...
Katy helps ML "throw" an imaginary ball, and JB swings and hits the ball...
ML is laughing so hard he seems in physical pain.
This is how he is with JB. There are times he is cranky and times he doesn't want to play because he need to sleep or reduce hunger or some other basic need outlined by Maslow at the base of the pyramid... but usually all gets put aside if JB is acting like JB around ML...




I love these kids.
(and their mama)!

The Crooner

Video proof of baby gorilla

Worth 3 minutes of your life

I'm too tired to post, but we're all doing well.

Our kids are cute. JB is cranky, but I guess he's been through a lot.

This made me cry (in a good way):



hat tip, Adam

I dare you not to smile...

I'm off from work today... I've got a lot of plans but promised myself that it's okay to fall short on all of them. First on the "low pressure day off" is checking all my favorite blogs, and JMG had this:



Improv everywhere is a group that sets up little skits in public places, actors are volunteers. They usually are just attempting to get smiles out of innocent bystanders.

Hat tip: JMG

more chai please!

Somehow in the midst of getting another enormous tooth (this one made him bleed while eating) we managed to convince JB to do some of his tricks...

Blow it out your swimmer's ear

You may remember, earlier in the year when I waxed poetic about Michael Phelps and his overpowering choppers? Well, at the time, I was a little hard on the guy. I guess I felt he was just a little too beloved. I mean, it was all "Michael Phelps" this and "Michael Phelps" that. People were going nuts. I never understand what it is that makes all kinds of folks want to gather up all their dreams and hopes and lay them like an laurel wreath on the head of a 24 year old freak of nature. But now, the walls come crashing down and people are shocked! SHOCKED, I say!!! Shocked that a 24 year old might take a hit off a bong.

"How dare he?"
"How could he?"
"What about the little children? "
"I'm just so disappointed in him!"

What is wrong with people?!? Are they for real?

Needless to say, public opinion turning against MP is all I needed to hop off the fence and become a true supporter and fan.



This is exactly what I wanted to say about the whole overblown, Michael Phelps-smoking-a-bong thing... especially the end of the video... SNL nails it.

Worth taking 4 minutes of your life to watch

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Crank calls

It's a wonder we have never cranked called anyone we know. Or been visited by the police because we accidentally called 911.

more video

JB had some things he wanted to say while we were visiting my family in Ohio...

Mid-afternoon music montage

Two days now, we have had dance parties in the grannies' living room. We truly rock out and JB has been smiling and enjoying all the moves. We've been trying to teach him to dance with his hands and "raise the roof".
He looks at me like I'm crazy.

Today, we were driving with Kt's dad, and this random mix of music came on the radio.
Some oldies, some not so oldies, but we were singing to JB. It was like music appreciation on wheels. There were about 8 songs in a row that made Katy and me go,
"YEAH! THIS IS A GOOD ONE TOO, JB!!!"

Again, though he was trapped, all strapped in his car seat, we were encouraging him to groove and move and dance with his hands. He smiled intermittently, eying us the way a nervous visitor might glance around a locked ward.

I don't remember them all but some of the songs were:
Walking in Memphis - Marc Cohn
This will be (an everlasting love) - Natalie Cole
I wanna be rich - Calloway
Chasing cars - Snow Patrol
Say (what you need to say) - John Mayer

There's a story that goes along with each of those songs. Stories that maybe one day I'll tell our son... here's one:

When I was pregnant, John Mayer was singing that "Say" on the radio an awful lot:

I'll be honest with you, I'm not even sure wtf that song is supposed to mean. I look at the lyrics (below) and I want to shout,

"JOHN MAYER, STOP TRYING TO BANG SO MANY GIRLS AND BUY A THESAURUS!!! 20 unique lines of barely rhyming prose??? REALLY? SERIOUSLY? DID YOU WRITE IT IN BETWEEN DATES on a Friday night?!?"

There's the chance that song has no intended meaning, was written for no purpose save to score a few presidents or bag a few babes. But, the song unlocks something in me. There's a part of me that fights becoming completely undone and feels flashes of my most vulnerable self emerge when the dang thing is playing. I think that song was playing in the background when important things were happening during my pregnancy. I think that song conjured up events that happened immediately before and more than a decade before. Things that were very wonderful and things that were very sad. Sweet, insignificant moments, and poignant, life altering moments.

Is it me, or is it hard to hear that song and not be the star of your own personal music video playing on a loop in your head?

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all your so called problems
Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say (x7)
Say what you need to saaaay...

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead

If you could only
Say what you need to say (x7)
Say what you need to saaay...

Have no fear
For giving in
Have no fear
For giving over
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Then never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open... wide...

Say what you need to say (x7)
Say what you need to (x2)
Say what you need to say...

So, I think you get what I mean about the thesaurus, right?

After looking at this, I feel (sincerely) like you can't trust a word out of John Mayer's slick, playboy, CT-grown mouth. But if you could trust him, it does seem like he wrote the song of the same nature and emotional context that I just described above.
Life is too short.
Just say
what
you
need
to
say...

If you're hurting, if you're striving, if you're dying... If you are thrilled, exuberant, evolving, or lost in love... If you have a secret that is eating you alive. If you are thinking about leaving, changing, doing something that might "disappoint" someone... If you are aching with fear or love or life... or just living- trying not to fall into death via the suffocation of suburban or corporate compromise...
speak.
your.
mind.

Today, dancing and singing with our little boy, I realized this is part of the gig.
Every night I put him to bed and thank him for the way he is and the way he has allowed me to see the world. And one of the most important things I will strive to teach him is to find ways to express himself:
Speak your heart, even if it pounds in your chest or your hands tremble or your voice quivers.

Dance with your feet and hands and eyes because if you really listen to lovely things in life (like people and music) it usually means allowing your body to move with them and toward them and respond physically.

Listen to music - wherever you find it - to the harmonies, melodies, percussion, lyrics, and the silent parts behind the music that inexplicably turn a key and release something in you that you didn't even know was locked up.

SWYNTS: I think this is the secret to happiness and the trick to life if you want to be smiling when you're reviewing your own personal, imaginary music video at the end of it all...

just sayin'...

Now I'm goin' to bed... hope you enjoyed the music :)

Evidence of walking

He is off to an amazing start - just in the last two or three days he has totally abandoned crawling and has become a walking machine! Yes, we know our lives are about to change. Forever. Again.




PS - thanks to L-Marg and C-lo for the adorable eggs he's walking around with!