You are what you eat

Milo: We're boys.
Mommy: yes
Milo: Im'ma boy and Jakey. We're boys.
Mommy: (thinking I know I'm a 'girl') What am I?
Milo: You're an ADULT.
Mommy: Yes, you are boys and I'm an adult.
Milo: When I'm an adult, I'm gonna drink lots of things...
Mommy: Like what?
Milo: Like coffee...and tea...
Jake: and beer and wine... And soda
Mommy: yes. It's very exciting. When you get bigger, you can have some drinks that kids don't get to have. But every family is different and rules about what kids can have are different in different families.
Jake: Like what?
Mom: Like in some families the kids can have soda. And in our family, the rule is kids can't have soda. And some families don't eat any meat.
Jake (sounding alarmed): BUT WE EAT MEAT!!!???!!!
Mom: Yes, we eat meat, but in some families, the rule is "We don't eat meat."
Jake: But we do... We're carnivores.

Brainwashing and programming of summer memories

Pizza: Sally's
Major league baseball: Red Sox
Minor league baseball: (a tie) Dayton Dragons and the New Britain Rockcats
Pool or ocean: both!
Hot dogs: Blackies (though Glenwood is totally acceptable)
 

 

Milo: (takes a bite of hot dog and spits it out) I NO LIKE IT!
Mommy: (in the voice of a snake oil salesman) Yes, you do like it, of course you like it! That's a Blackies HOT DOG! We don't spit out Blackies hot dogs!!! Take another bite.
Milo: (takes another bite): I LIKE IT!
Mommy: Hooray!!!

 

On exceeding expectations...

Jake: (As Katy is offering him a sandwich) I. DON'T. WANT. IT!!!

Katy: Try again, Jake, we don't talk like that.

Jake: (instantaneously) Um, Mama, thank you for offering that to me, but I don't really want it right now.

Me: Ten points for Griffindor!

Katy (Under her breath to me) Way to set the future bar higher for yourself, dude... It makes more sense now why he keeps getting all those stickers at school...

The Tensile Strength of Cheerios

I tried to write this blog post 2 years ago, but couldn't come up with much more than the name.

Two years ago, I first noticed how the floors of the house were littered with a minefield of Cheerios. JB got those things everywhere. And the ones he wasn't tossing, dropping, and sprinkling about, Katy and I were spilling ourselves. No brooms were active enough to sweep the "danger" clear.

After they achieve a functional pincer grasp and their diets advance beyond mush and slush; after they demonstrate successful mastication of the beloved crunchy oat wheel, then you have to spend a few weeks worrying that they will get distracted while chewing and somehow wedge a cheerio into some narrow portion of their trachea...

THEN, when you are convinced they could chew and swallow a Cheerio in their sleep, you start to use those things for everything: snacks, teethers, passifiers, counting exercises, lessons in sharing, a form of distraction, reward for good behavior... They are like baby dog-biscuits!

Thing is...unless you have live-in help (or are the kind of parent that can't sleep if one item is out of place, or unless your living situation requires ruthless attention to packaging up food lest you attract varmint of all kinds) evidence of the parental overuse of Cheerios invariably shows up all over the floors of your house. I could have predicted all of this, but what caught me by surprise two years ago, and what still amuses me now, is the emergence of this superhuman power I possess: Whether bare-foot or wearing shoes, I have highly sensitive, perceptive abilities in my feet. If I skip, walk, hop, or otherwise landed on a single Cheerio, I can instantaneously reverse course. I will hop up off that thing without even causing damage. Maybe I might crack the "O" into 2 or 3 pieces, but I have learned to instinctively spring-load off those things before crushing them into impossible-to-clean-up piles of oat dust.

At first it was like every WW2 movie you've seen with the soldier's foot on the trip wire and the calculated, slow-motion determining how to back up off of that thing without making a big mess. But then it became smooth and seamless like a 007 dancer.
MUST.
NOT.
CRUSH.
CHEERIOS...
KITCHEN.
FILTHY.
ENOUGH!!!

At some point, we all got better about not leaving Cheerios laying around, and many months could go by without one Cheerio narrowly escaping pulverization. BUT...

Now we are back to Cheerio mayhem again; and my toes and soles and ankles are back at it- bouncing off the cereal scattered around the floors of our house. It's a 1 1/2 year old thing. ML has mad self-feeding skilz, but a pile of Cheerios will not stay above ground when he is their commander.

So this is the part of motherhood is tricky.

You've got to stay on your toes... And you've got to be okay with some dust under your feet.

ML's church dedication

Today was not only Easter, but also ML's church dedication.



We belong to a UU that we love that I've written about here.

The dedication is a variation on "Baptism" but instead of washing away the sins of all humanity to make your baby pure, we really stick to focusing on welcoming the child into the church and a promise from the congregation to be there for the child and the family of the child...

We lit the chalice:


Well, JB would tell you that HE lit the chalice...


(Stop looking at my chest, ya'll!!!)

It is a really sweet ceremony and whenever we watch (from the pews) a family act out this ritual, we get kind of choked up. Today was no different from this side of the event.







It was a good excuse to dress these adorable kids up in their "Sunday best"... and man were they cute...











To be clear, there are more pics of JB b/c we were all dying about how cute his suit was, and ML had just woken up and wasn't really interested in getting his picture taken.









Cam and Mac = beautiful!


All four cousins!!!

We then hosted Easter dinner for 16 adults/Teens and 6 kids age four or younger. It turned out to be an amazing day. The weather was as close to heaven as you can get this time of year. It was sunny, about 70 degrees F with a cool breeze. There was an Easter egg hunt (which ML slept through).











chocolate:



and a chance to dress in more casual wear:



We had surf and turf (mom brought the baked stuffed shrimp, and I roasted a filet loin on the grill. I was worried about how it would come out, but it was DEE-lish-ous!!! Having the chance to use the indoors and the outdoors, made things very simple in terms of space and having plenty of seating and the ability to SPREAD OUT and enjoy the weather and the party.

Our guests were very complimentary and very helpful and in general it was just wonderful!

ML took 2 substantial naps- he was tuckered out from being the center of attention this AM. JB did NOT take ANY naps except the 20 minutes he slept on the way home from church. Somehow with him we averted disaster in term of a napless melt down.



You are super cute, little boy... Congratulations on your big day!!!

Oh, the PEEPS dessert is here!!!

Happy Easter!

It will be a big day today. ML's dedication at church. Lots of peeps
there with us and at our house after. I'm going to bed late b/c I'm
trying to be less behind the eight ball later...

(eye roll).

Speaking of peeps, we bought a cake for dessert, but this was my big
project as a home made sweet treat.

(photos to follow.)

UPDATE: Photos are here!!!

Sent from my iPhone

It's what's for dinner

Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'

Keep that baby rollin'...

ML rolled over once about 2 or 3 months ago. And then nothing, until now.
This weekend, he rolled.
And rolled.
And rolled.

He's been sleeping (knock on wood).
He's transferred to a new type of binki.
He can soothe himself and (nearly) bring that binki correctly to his mouth.
He is eating cereal,
and peas
and carrots
and sweet potatoes...

He is so beautiful and sweet.



This weekend, a lot happened:
sitting up
skooting backwards,
ROLLING,
Oh and also, as ironic as can be...
"DaDa-Da-da Da-da" is for shizzle his first discernible utterance.

Overtired at lunch

T: What do you want to eat?
JB: a sandwich?
T: Grilled cheese?
JB: yeah.

(Ten minutes later, JB peeling the grilled cheese open, starts to cry)

T: What's the matter?!?
JB: (tugging at the melted cheese) I no like this.
T: That's the cheese.
JB: TAKE IT OFF!
T: I can't take it off, it's melted on.
JB: (with excessive and dramatic whining) Melt IT OFF!

Seems like we're finally moving to Midpoint!

We made and offer on "Blue Steel" on the cul de sac.
It was countered a few thousand over what we offered.
We accepted last night!

Then we celebrated with a meal of grilled tuna and chicken, homemade mango salsa, and tomato and Mozzarella salad with Anne and Pat who made a surprise stop on their way through New England.

The day started at our friend's Jaime and Dan LEGAL wedding (now that I'm a mom, something chemical has happened, I cry at all weddings, but I seem to get especially emotional at gay weddings and during "mother/son dances".) There was a lo-key backyard reception where I got to wear shorts and a t-shirt and eat amazing Mexican food AND tie on a mid-day beer buzz.

Yesterday was a terrific day!

Oh, I got her pregnant

K: (In a thrilled, tremulous voice) Oh my god the most amazing thing happened to me today!
T: (eagerly) oh yeah? Do tell...
K: I was eating my peanut butter and banana for breakfast, and there was a chocolate chip in the peanut butter and i didn't even know that it was in there until it was in my mouth.
T: (staring lovingly)
K: it was hidden in the middle of the peanut butter, and then it was just magically in my mouth.
T and K: (laughter)

This is the second trimester for Katy... After months of puking and gagging, she recently said to me, "Food has never tasted this good." To which I replied, "Welcome to my entire life." It was a little magical moment like when Willy Wonka opens the doors to his chocolate factory to poor, underfed Charlie and shows him the chocolate river and the production capacity of an oompa loompa workforce.

Last night she sat on the couch spooning chocolate chips directly into the chunky peanut butter jar and then dipping a tablespoon in to bring both delicacies into her mouth, and today, she found a leftover nugget.

Moving on to bigger news...

We had the ultrasound. If you know us on facebook (or in real life) this is old news, but to all GSO fans, the baby she is growing is looking good. The brains and heart, the bones and bladder and liver and circulation all are awesome. Measuring just a little bit bigger than dates, all looks great. (Including the dangly bit that makes him a BOY!) We are thrilled. Of course we would be thrilled if he had been a she, but since the news came to us last Thursday, we have been reviewing the top 3 reasons this is perfect for us:
1) We love the name we had for a boy and we don't have one for a girl (no, we're not telling)
2) Seriously, siblings born in the same month of the year, it would be heartbreaking not to be able to use all those adorable hand-me-downs.
3) Our sweet little JB is a pensive thinker, surrounded by loving women and only a handful of men... a brother to protect and who will also watch out for him seems to be the perfect set up!

Katy is 20 weeks tomorrow. Half way through the pregnancy. He's kicking and moving and she's got the cutest little bump. (pics to follow.)

How nurses lose their muffins

A former student of mine keeps me laughing with his status updates on facebook.

Yesterday, he sent me an email:

I took care of a 69-year old man, a 5-year resident of (long term care facility). Last night he got hungry, reached over the counter of the nurse's station, and stole a muffin. He aspirated on it and arrested, and now he's brain dead.

Death by muffin. Greatest story ever.

I replied:

It would be the "greatest story ever" if he was dead dead, but he is in fact only brain dead, and that makes the story just "sort of great" and alternatively kind of gruesome.

I am more worried about the nurse manager of (long term care facility) and the "safety" protocols that are now going to have to be written and implemented about pastry consumption on the premises by staff and patients. I wouldn't be surprised if they have to implement a q 15 minute "muffin check" on every patient or a "pat down" of all visitors to the ward, or a change of shift "baked goods count" for the next several months.

Do you see what my job has done to me, I admit I'm dazzled by the death by muffin headline, but it just seems like a lot of paperwork to me...

I've told the story twice, and both times was asked to put it on the blog... sick senses of humor these healh care providers have!

Snow

We got our first big storm of '08-'09.

So far about 8 inches of fluffy soft snow. Went out with JB in full gear for a few minutes. He liked it about as much as he liked the beach this year - we think he's not that much into change or "new things." I shoveled for about an hour to try and get ahead of it. While I was out there, it snowed literally 2 inches (2" on the part of the driveway that I started with when I called it quits.) It's supposed to go until about 3am. It's a nice one- enough to cover everything and keep people home. It was nicer for me b/c I didn't have to commute.
Can't beat that.

I made cheese tonight. Queso blanco and whole milk ricotta. We went here and learned how. I can see making a lot of cheese if you have extra milk from the cows, but it's kind of labor intensive to just transform the milk into cheese when you can just buy the cheese the same place you buy the milk. That having been said, there's something also good about buying local milk and making cheese at home- not using up the gas and energy to refrigerate and transport it, knowing the ingredients and that it's not full of a bunch of stuff we don't need, making it with love in your heart and an intention to feed your family "real" food, and then serving it up for the week to your boo and your boo-boo.

All things merge into one, and a tantrum runs through it

Life here is pretty upsetting right now.

The thing that amazes me is not the amount of wailing and snottiness, but rather what and when he chooses to truly shit a brick about. So like, for example, if you are feeding him or offering him organically grown and lovingly cooked fresh food cut into tiny, graspable parcels at meal time... he's likely to yap, shout, and bang his head all around the high chair until you're not sure what to do.

If you have just taken him out of a warm bath and are trying to lotion him up and pour him into some of the softest cotton fabrics every created... look out, 'cause he might spring a backward arching, head-throw-back maneuver that will launch him off the changing table.

It's been 3 consecutive meals of crying and yelling, and I haven't been able to change a diaper or outfit without a meltdown in days... Katy and I don't know how much more we can take...

Wait until he sees us start to fall apart.

Sugar for dinner

I chose chocolate for dinner this evening.

It is well known among my family and friends that left to my own devices, nothing more complex than candy and bread would ever provide sustenance for me if it weren't for my family and friends. Tracy has long been in charge of my food. Before that there was a 4 year snafoo (college). And before that my mom was head honcho.

Tonight JB and Tracy went to Nana's to get food and try and flush out an ear (M's, not JB's). So, I came home (bags of healthy groceries in hand mind you) and proceeded to eat chocolate for dinner. I also got stuck watching adorable videos of friends' kids from the West Coast. Needless to say, I haven't quite made it to the protein part of dinner. It's 7pm.

Tracy just called from the road, and for no reason was annoying the hell out of me. She knew it and I knew it but we were tolerating each other just fine. I kept missing what she was saying because there was an overwhelming and loud voice in my head saying GO GET THOSE EXTRA CHOCOLATES.

We hung up and not 2 seconds later the phone rang again. "Honey, what did you have for dinner?"

Ummmm... lie? probably not a good idea. She's like Santa: she KNOWS.

"Chocolate."

"Right. OK. Can you please go eat something else. Perhaps something with protein in it? Or at least, PLEASE, a more complex carbohydrate?"

I was going to, I swear. But then I thought it would be more interesting to post this story. I think maybe the chocolate covered peanuts next. It's protein, right?

Living like a Pharaoh

For this one, I'll have to create a new label. How about: "Things I never expected to happen".
We were away all weekend, drove 6 hours home in sleet and nearly freezing rain. JB didn't like the car enough for that to be a joyous ride. He was going a little stir crazy and we couldn't go directly home because our house was being shown at the time we expected to arrive.

So needless to say, his internal clocks and sleep cycle and eating schedules were all messed up. At about 3pm, he seemed so tired (or maybe hungry, but because it seemed like he had eaten enough, we assumed tired) that we put him down for a nap. He slept for about 30 minutes and woke up in a state. JB was crying, shaking, screaming. Not feverish or obviously in pain, just distraught. We tried food, refused. We tried several types of food, then binkie, then everything we could think of. He acted like a rookie southpaw shaking off the catcher. His refusals got more physical and his crying turned into hysterics and what can only be described as a fit.

We decided to peel off his clothes and steep him in a bath in the sink because he has my tendency to calm in warm water. JB seemed to momentarily approve and then was overcome by his disgust for us and tried to kill himself by repeatedly attempting to smash his head on the porcelain walls of the sink. Then katy had the brainstorm... to the shower we ran. While I held his soaked, naked, wailing body, she and I undressed me and I carried him into the shower...

There, he clutched me, and quicker than I expected, calmed right down. His legs were up near his chest. His arms wrapped in a death grip around my neck. His head laid heavy on my shoulder. After a few moments, my back started to ache, but his breathing slowed and his muscles relaxed. Then, it was all chill for 3, 4, 6 minutes. And Katy and I agreed that if we pulled him out of there in his current state of hunger, things might just fall apart. So while I held him in the shower, Katy spoon fed him the Italian wedding soup we had tried to pass off earlier.

I would do anything for this kid, but I really never thought it would look like this... stripped out of my clothes on a moment's notice to hop into the shower- yes, obviously. The meal under a sprinkle of warm comforting water- um, okay, but a little unexpected.

The real surprise, though, was how sweet and beautiful it was. How content and happy he became as the food filled his empty belly. I made katy feed him the entire bowl because I just didn't want the moment to end. One of the sweetest most unanticipated experiences I've had yet...

But seriously, who gets a bowl of homemade soup IN the shower?

Gobble-Gobble

Thanksgiving.

I have a lot to be thankful for this year.
I have a wonderful life.

We're in NJ. It's a relatively new holiday tradition: My mom's sister and brother-in-law run a bed and breakfast that is the shit a great way to spend a long weekend. Everyone gets their own room (with flat screen TV, DVD, fireplace, and bathroom). Most of the bathrooms have hot tubs or tubs with jets- those that don't have multi-nozzled, double shower-heads in the showers. The common areas are equipped with a TV and DVD player and huge tables for all kinds of communing.

There are 16 of us here. There've been a lot of games and movies and eating and napping. The inn is literally across the street from the beach. I can see the Atlantic ocean from the front door. Yesterday, I seriously considered dropping trow and jumping into the sea- just to prove I would... 4 days before December.

But I didn't. It just didn't seem worth the respiratory infection that was bound to follow. Plus, so far, there hasn't been an hour waiting period in-between eating... I didn't want to "cramp up."

Inn or no Inn, Ocean or no ocean, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It has all the dietary indulgence of Christmas without the mandatory consumer gluttony and pressure of having found the perfect gifts. It has all the gratitude, all the family, all the fun and laughter, all the blessings without the credit card debt, the never ending decorations, the syrupy cliche of Santas and reindeer who worship babies born of virgins in stables.

Mostly, I love Thanksgiving because it's a long weekend with family or friends, or if you're lucky, both. Last year, we did the whole deal at our house with a newborn and one half of his grand-parentage/adoring family.

This year, we're enjoying ourselves here.

No matter what our current traditions are, Thanksgiving in my heart will always be about cousins. I've spoken about this before, but i have a lot of amazing cousins. I miss Thanksgiving with the west-coast boys- mixing it up, playing poker/board games, and taking time to get reacquainted. It's been too many years since I've licked the back of a playing card on Thanksgiving and stuck it to my forehead when Nash was dealing or put all my faith in the fact that Greg's rules to "baseball" were legit (I've never been able to commit the rules of that game to memory) or stayed up with Trav when the others "gave in" to talk about where we've come from and where we're going.

So gents, (and wives and kids) hope you're warm and fuzzy and feeling the love, and enjoying your turkey... and if you're mixing drinks and playing cards, hope you know that I feel bad I'm not out there, swindling you out of all your coinage.

Reporting from Los Angeles County

I'm currently in LA for a "business trip". The business is learning more about insulin pumps and continuous monitoring. It's been fantastic so far with a beautiful drive up the Pacific Coast Highway and then through the Topanga Canyon. Last night a dinner at the 'Changs. And today a lovely walk through the history of implantable medical devices, specifically insulin pumps. Tonight, a dinner at Roy's (a restaurant, not someone I know). Tomorrow, the long flight home to see my boo and my baby boo.

Missing home... but trying to party like I'm in Minnesota like my wife implored me to do....

Falling asleep into your pizza

Tonight, JB had his first taste of Pizza. 2 nights in a row, he's been so tired at home after day care, that I've had to take him with me into the shower to get him to calm down. Last night, he wouldn't even eat dinner. Tonight, when I got home, kt had already fed him dinner, and he was looking like he was going to melt down, but he was intrigued by what we were eating for dinner.

Kt offered him a nibble of her pizza and he acted like he got a second wind... He was lapping it up for about 5 minutes and then he threw it down and put his head in the plate with the slice.

Once again, the mommies pushed it too far... anyway, that "shower-to-calm-down" thing really works!

Finger food 2

The kid is totally getting how to feed himself. A week ago, he couldn't really bring bites into his mouth. This week in the mornings, he has had scrambled eggs, and mango. Dinners have included avocado, chicken, blueberries, mangoes, broccoli... Tomorrow, I may make him french toast.