The week in review

In the last 7 days, Obama freed the gays*, North Carolina outlawed them, we've celebrated/endured nurses' week, mother's day, and gone through a 12 pack of ginger-ale**.  In the last seven days, the boys have worn their raincoats, their winter coats, and their bathing suits- so swings the weather in these parts at this time of the year...

The Ta-bar pool opened today at a crisp, cool 76 degrees. (We all went in but Katy). And I predict both these boys will be swimming without "swimmies" by the end of the summer (Mac and Cam are already there).  Softball starts tomorrow.  I have a lot to write about, but I'm so very sleepy.

The new job is absurd.  Good, but a little like being a lost kid at a big fair... Except, I'm not a kid, and I have a map, but they change the fair grounds every night... and there are a lot of emails... And I keep staying awake every night wondering if I should suggest to my bosses that maybe they should keep the fair grounds looking like the map they hand out.  Also, I find myself wanting to shout a lot, "THE EMPEROR HAS NO CLOTHES ON!" 

*OBAMA did not actually free the gays, but he did publicly state is personal support for marriage equality which as Joe Biden would say, "...is a big fucking deal."

**Jake was vomiting last weekend and I spent Friday night wondering how my body could eject the contents of my stomach with such force that jet engine blasters seem comparatively ineffectual and weak.  

Halloween

There was a big snow storm 2 days before Halloween, so it really screwed things up for that holiday. Somehow, we had our costumes all worked out- well in advance... a miracle for these two somewhat-behind-schedule moms. Then it started to snow about 11am on Saturday. Big, wet flakes that accumulated to about a foot of heavy snow and took out a lot of trees and branches. We were out of power for 5 days- no heat, no electricity, and trick or treating was officially cancelled in our town. But we did dress them up: First from my sister's box of "extra dress up" Jake found his cousin, Cam's witch costume from 2 years ago.

(Jake and Cam are the same age- so that's why he looks a little too sexy for his clothes)

Man, he is Purr-dee... isn't he?!? I think he's very handsome, but he also makes a beautiful princess boy when he wants to!!!

Then, not to be outdone, Milo wanted to wear a dress. So, I couldn't resist putting him into this tiny-dog costume I found. It seemed cruel to undress him for it- we're not raising strippers here, after-all! So I put it on him OVER his clothes!

Awwwwww!

Then the main event... we dressed our boys in their "real costumes" and my sister's girls in the play things of their choice and headed out to the THREE houses in the dark that had candles in their windows.

These were taken at school this week...

The cutest panda ever!!!

Sweet-smile, slouchin' Superman...

Jake as "Clark Kent"

Brothers:

BONUS PIC:

I borrowed my dad's leaf blower and it dangled over the back seat a little. When I looked into the back, Jake had grabbed onto the handle. At the next glance, Milo was imitating him. The image made me laugh- as if they were human bungee cords, keeping the thing from rolling out of the hatchback.

:)

Coming home tonight

Almost a week since my last post, but a lot has been happening...

I've been away.

I came home from Texas last Friday night (3/18). Spent Sat with the family: did some running around, playing with the kids, grocery shopping, etc. Went to a baby shower for my cousin's wife, spent a few hours with my CT cousin-friends (That's a word I just made up... It's like "sister-wife" in Mormon country, and is used to describe people that you are related to by birth, but more and more as you grow older, they are your friends. While we're here, I think I'll also coin the flip side: "friend-cousins": These are people like the Tabors/Menzies/Priors and the Vuolos... people who fate has so kindly intertwined your families' lives that you are friends with them, but you think of them as cousins...)

Then Katy's parents arrived (Granny and Granna) and we had dinner and I got to the business of packing a fresh suitcase, and bathing, smelling, and snuggling my kids enough to carry me though this week that I have also been away. Katy and I woke up at 3:30 in the AM (last Saturday) to get me to the airport for my 6am flight to Sunny and Warm LA county. The trip with layovers and waiting times on the tarmac to "replace computers on the plane", and flying around in circles to avoid weather patterns, and the harrowing shuttle journey to the hotel took over 15 hours.

It has been neither warm, nor particularly sunny.

But, I have been working my tail off (so to speak).

Only as this week has wound down (Thursday night, Friday, and now) have I truly started to feel the weight of my- not "homesickness" exactly- but yearning to have my babies near me. I think I just compartmentalized it fairly well at the beginning. Also, I knew that (between Katy and my in-laws) the boys were not only in good hands, but they would be distracted and having fun in my absence.

Still, attending these two conferences back to back, I have been away from my family for 11 out of the last 12 days. Even Katy and I have not spent this much time apart since we started dating.
And it has been weird to miss a week that my in-laws took to spend with our family. I've been wondering what I have missed in terms of "bonding opportunities" with them, and while I was out here in CA, my God-daughter and sweet Mac-a-doodle turned 5 years old!!! So, I felt a little sad that night that we weren't all together celebrating.

I've done my best to put the time to good use. I've met a lot of interesting and fun people. I've networked and bonded. I've gotten to spend this last week rooming with (and joking and laughing and theorizing and scheming with) Tara. Tara has been a BFF of ours since Katy's and my grad school days. This week only confirmed why: she is good people. She is real and full of brain and heart power, and loyal and honorable, and not only hilarious- but appreciates (and plays off of) my particular brand of wit. She is funny, without being trivial, and carefully measures the weight of her words and actions like only a soul-sister of mine could.

It is absurd that we ended up here this week together, and I can't help but thank God (The Tiny Baby Jesus, or whatever older version of him you prefer) for the way this trip took T and I out of our other lives and put us here, together for a week.

I also tried to use the time well- to appreciate the things a mom of small children loses out on: Sleep, "Quiet time", complex and extended adult conversation, "me time", I've done some list making and sorting through of things in my head, a kind of spring cleaning of my brain. I've also hit the gym whenever possible and done some sweating- and yesterday got myself onto some of the beaches of Malibu for a little hike.

At the end of this, I am eager to get home. But I think I am going back a little bit of a healthier person. Maybe more focused, more grateful for what I have, more (possibly?) full of energy (though taking a red-eye tonight might put a damper on that).

I can't wait to see my sweetie and our kids!

Newletter: Month 34

JB,

Today you are 34 and some-odd-fraction months old.

Holy smmokes. We talk a lot about you in these here web-pages, but if these were supposed to be "monthly" newsletters, we (and by "we" I mean "I") have failed you.

You and I had a big fight at dinner tonight.
It started with Sit down and ended with you crying in time out and me red-faced, muttering, and pacing a few yards away.

The new thing from you is NO.
I mean all kinds and versions of "no".

There's the little, "do you want more milk?"
No.

And then there's the, "Please SIT in your chair."
NO.

And then there's the, "You are in time out."
NO, I am not going to time out... no.

The defiance comes with a touch too much whining for my taste...
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa! NOOOoooooo!!!"
And hysteria... at least it did tonight.

Since you have generally earned the nickname, Mr. Mellow, you can sometimes be like living with Dr. Jackle and Mr. Whine. Honestly, it IS hard to hear "no" to the simplest request, query, imperative (from a not-yet-3-year old) when your safety or comfort is at stake... I am sure this will be as hard or harder when you are 7, 10, 13, 16, 21 years old, but i guess my thought is that at least you will have the vocabulary for a fair debate and enough of a grasp of the concept of cause-and-effect for me to not have to be the only one "choosing my battles".

But these events are not without my own emotional response. And our similarities are already emerging as reasons we will butt heads: stubborn, watery, sensitive, brave, wishy-washy-not-sure-what-i-want-and-that-is-hard-enough-to-deal-with-inside-of-me-let-alone-having-to-try-to-convey-it-to-you, DON'T BE DISAPPOINTED IN ME, and LET ME FIGURE IT OUT ON MY OWN! heads. Sweet, sweet boy, you and I are a lot alike.

But, you are also like your Mama- she won't go into the Ocean unless I beg or trick her either. You and she notice things I miss every day. Things I would miss completely if you weren't pointing them out: "Hear the crickets, Mama and Mommy?"

It's been several months now that we are blown away by the way you are calculating and figuring out the world, grouping ideas and things together correctly, extrapolating out notions that seem impossibly wiser than your age.

You know all four components of your given name; you know your address including city and state. You know what we need to do in different weather- what to wear if it rains or snows or is hot, why we put the windows up or down, when we use the windshield wipers, why lights go on at night; You look for stars and the moon when the sun starts to go down. If you see a digger, you ask how he can do his work without a dump truck. When you see a telephone pole, you tell us about the wires attached and what they do, what they are for. When you see our neighbors leaving, you ask where they are going... and we have to think up 5 or 6 "maybes"... "Maybe they are going to work... Maybe they are going to visit their kids... Maybe they are going to the store..." we joke that "everything comes down to safety": hard hats, lights on cars, reflectors, lines on the road, seat belts, windows that don't go all the way down, treads on shoes... When answering the incessantly asked question, "why", I would estimate, 80% of the time the answer is ultimately safety. But that's not satisfying to you:

JB: Why that truck have a step there?

Random Mom: because it is too high without a step.

JB: Why?

RM: so that the driver/worker can get to the top without getting hurt.

JB: Why?

RM: to keep him safe

JB: Why?

RM: It is probably an OSHA violation; his employer needs to prevent repetitive motion injuries and calculate what step size is ergonomically proper to avoid undue stress on his joints.

JB: Oh.

It sometimes seems as if you will only accept the answer that is above your pay-grade, and then your reaction is a very mellow, "oh." As if, "Why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

You are getting good at pretending and telling stories. Your cousins have helped you learn about pretending. The three of you are constantly "taking our orders" in your pretend restaurants and you alternate between having every imaginable food we can conjure up OR telling us, "We don't have that here," to all the items we request. It is adorable but maybe makes us think we go out to eat too often.

JB loves sports: the world cup on TV, baseball, basketball, our softball games. You are starting to understand the difference between the games and the rules, the positions, and the teams. You take turns being the batter and the pitcher, the kicker and the goalie. One day, you used 4 sippy cups to tell me which were the on the soccer team that "had the ball" and which were on the team that "didn't have the ball" (this was based on the color of their tops). You also have followed Mama's lead in your affinity for dance as a spectator sport. There's this show called, "So you think you can dance" on TV which I hope (by the time you are able to or interested in reading these newsletters) is a faded memory. You and she sit and watch and rewind and cue up your favorites for me to see. There was one where boys were dressed at ball players and "danced it out"... it was like all of your favorite things rolled into on 3 minute segment.

We bought you a pair of "tap shoes" which are really a pair of plastic, purple girls shoes that make noise as you clip-clop across the floor. We set out to buy you some flip-flops but when you wandered over to the girl's section of the store and used your most politely hesitant voice to ask, "Can I have these?" We just couldn't leave them behind in the store. You couldn't nap for the entire weekend after we bought them b/c they were on the floor near your bed and it was too exciting to sleep with those shoes just sitting there. We are sufficiently convinced that you want to try to dance and in the fall there's an "all sports" class at the Y at 9am and a tap class down the street at 10 am... I think if we buy you real, authentic, ACTUAL tap shoes, you will soil yourself in excitement, so... I mean... CLEAN UP IN AISLE SIX... bring it on...

Your vocabulary is impressive. Your conversational skills are ever-improving. See this post for a few of my favorite, recent items. Despite your obvious smarty-pants status, you have developed this somewhat annoying habit of asking, "What?" when really you know exactly what we said and what is going on. You've had trouble hearing in the past due to the difficulty with your ears being full of fluid, but if we just spoke louder every time you asked, "Whattt?" (you like to really enunciate the hard "t" at the end) it would be like a school for the deaf around here. Then too, we've noticed that if we just don't respond to the "Whattt?" you tell us what we said. Your Mama complains that I have a Premature and exasperating "What" that is part of my vernacular, and I have also heard you say my "which one?" That is one of mine too. You had an ENT appointment last week which revealed that both of your ear tubes (Placed in January) are out, so now we will have even a harder time determining if your "Whattt" is related to water-logged hearing or absent-minded distractedness.

Speaking of trips to the hospital... In June, you got your first stitches. Briefly, here's the tale. ML was sent home from school with a fever. He puked all over me and then when I handed him off to Mama, he puked all over her. in our brilliance, we were carting him all over the house, trying to calculate how best to get him comfortable and cleaned off, so he puked in about 4 or 5 rooms of the house. I took you to come mow the lawn with me so you would be outside, and I was worried about your safety in the backpack carrier, so I buckled you in with your sunglasses on and took 5 steps away to get the batting helmet that you love to wear (safety first.) You kicked yourself over and the sunglasses cut your forehead when your noggin' hit the pavement. We called your TT. she came over in less than 300 seconds. It was the dinner hour and Mac was in nothing but a tutu. Dried blood caked all over your face, you asked your cousin, "Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" She deadpanned, "Why is there blood all over your face?" When I said, "I'm sorry buddy, I think we have to go to the hospital." You started sobbing a staccato alternative: "We'll... stay... here.. you mow the lawn... I'll sit ... and ... watch... I fe...el bet...ter." You got 4 stitches. The trip to the ER took 5 hours. You are stuck all summer wearing a bandaid over your forehead to try and prevent the sun from making the scar more noticeable. I felt terrible for at least a week, but then I made up some story about how it would have been much worse if I hadn't buckled you in the carrier- that's the story that I'm sticking to kid.

You've started using expletives like, "Awesome!" and "Cool!" to describe things. You use the words, "actually" and "also" and "holy guacamole"... you are clear on what drink is an "adult beverage" and what is a "kid beverage". The "Actually" kills me... I just love it. We say it all the time, but when it come out a kid's mouth, it is just so funny.
This exchange typifies the adorableness of it:
Me: JB, what's your favorite letter?
JB: um... 'A'
Me: That's a good letter.
JB: Ummm, actually, it's 'B'

You also hear words and they make you think of other similar sounding words. When you overheard your grandpa use the word, "mediocrity," you looked at him and said, "And also, I have crocks on."

You finally started treating ML like he is occasionally intruding on your perfect world. When he comes crawling towards you and the toys you are playing with, you have started say, "NO," to him. (surprise, surprise) You do this when he starts to crawl away or toward the stairs too, "NO" as if you need him to stay still for you to be comfortable. This makes sense. Your brother is very different from you- he is all "go now, ask questions later" and you seem to have always been a "Let me take it slow and think about things before I move" kind of kid. We are pretty stern with you about saying "NO" to ML. We try to tell you that you don't have to protect him or your toys that you can tell us and we will steer ML to safety... that you can just explain to him how to do things, but this is coming out as instinct "NO, ML," and to be honest, your mommy and mama are surprised at how long it has taken for any territorial behavior to show up.

Then too, I would be remiss if I did not point out how often you reach toward him with a soft touch to say 'HI' and how you don't react hardly at all if ML swats at you or climbs on you. You continue to be an absolutely amazing big brother. All we could have hoped for and more.

You are doing great at school. The teachers say you are one of the best kids there: polite, friendly, happy, smart. You have made it clear that you remember your old school, but you prefer the new one and that is a relief for us- we would have been very heartbroken if this transition seemed to have hurt you somehow.

Your favorites right now:

Food: spaghetti and meatballs (still)

Color: Orange (still) but at least 1/2 the time you will tell us your favorite is orange AND red

Favorite toys: trucks, "soft things" (puppy, barry white, polar bear, teddybear), glove-balls-tee-helmet, puzzles,
TV show: Handy Manny
Potty training status: Mostly dry, most nights... sometimes not, but otherwise completely potty trained. (as it's been for nearly 6 months now)

Patented "JB kisses": 'two handed' - one hand on each cheek of the person you are kissing.

We can't believe that you are going to be 3 years old in less than 2 months. You are getting so big and despite all of the "NO's" you are lobbing at us on a daily basis, you are as sweet as honey from the hive. We are astounded at how cute you are and smart and beautiful... It sure makes it hard to be stern with you and consistent when you misbehave. But we will figure that all out...

We love you very much!!!

Mommy and Mama

The crawl

There is so much going on that the desire to blog consumes me and the actualization of that desire is delusional.

Work is a clusterfuck horror-show right now. We've been experiencing chaotic institutional change and threats that are imagined, perceived, and alarmingly real. Obviously, the details are too ripe to post here, but take my word for it: SNAFU of the highest order. "Fight-flight" and the power-charge you get from an emergent challenge take you far for about 5 weeks. I've been working all day, coming home and powering up the laptop until well after bedtime.

At the beginning, I was even in good spirits about it - it's been like a slow code and I do miss the old days of hanging blood, cracking ribs, and pushing epinephrine. But now, my brain is turning to mush and my psyche is pretty badly dinged up. I keep my wits about me, literally. Keeping my team laughing is probably my central purpose at this point, but every day brings another detail that is essentially no laughing matter. If you had told me a few months ago what would be going on right now, I would have laughed, slapped your ass, and told you to shove off. Needless to say, I have needed to put a lot more time and energy into work. But more than hours, the shit there is practically always on my mind. It's a veil over my head and I'm distracted by it all the time. Entire 8 or 10 hour work days go by without me having the mental where-with-all to call home. (Not the literal, physical "home" we live in [no one is there during the work day], but the day care or the cell phone that katy carries around when she takes my "home/heart" out into the world.)

Katy is holding down the fort of sanity right now. Trouble is, she is physically compromised due to the fig-sized fetus that we planted inside of her several weeks ago. We have been trying to keep it a little mum, but now that Mackenzie knows about it, the cat is pretty much out of the bag. Always in the form of a question, she knows all and tells the world as much:

Mac 7 weeks ago: "Why are you toasting? Why are you saying congratulations to katy? Why? what's going on?"
Mac 4 weeks ago: "Where is Katy? Why is katy home? Why is katy sleeping? Why does Katy's belly hurt her?"
Mac 1 week ago: "You have a baby in there?" "You're having a baby?" "The baby makes you sick?" "You are having a baby grow in your belly?" "Katy has a baby?" "What's the baby's name?"

We will hopefully hear the baby's heartbeat on Tuesday. And then we will welcome the unadulterated sigh of celebratory planning.

As eluded to above, Katy has been feeling craptastic. Puking, dry heaves, queasy and everything like that. She is falling asleep on the couch at about 7 or 8pm daily. Then she wakes up, and heads to bed between 9 and 10pm beckoning me to accompany her.

Aside from being puky, she is physically warm- a veritable incubator. When i crawl into bed next to her, the temperature is shocking. It is so unusual for her to be throwing this much heat, that I sometimes imagine a hatted, southpaw fetus, spitting fluid and getting ready for the big show.

Today, after a wicked work week capped off by a very fun but kind of crazed-paced Saturday, it rained. It rained the kind of cold rain that should be snow. The kind of cold rain you expect in February. Rain that is 2 or 3 degrees too warm to ice over busy highways. Two years ago, rain like that on a Sunday would have put my wife and me under covers watching movies in bed all day.

Today we had the 1.5 year old to entertain. We putzed and played and grew a tiny bit bored and at some point threw our swimsuits on under our sweats and headed out to the pool. That's right, we belong to a pool. I know what you're thinking, "but we've never heard you speak of 'the pool' before???" When I was pregnant with JB (and even before that) we swam quite a bit- we went to the pool a few times a week to swim laps. And then the pregnancy progressed, and then the c-section, and then all the breastfeeding, and then the baby was too little, and then katy went back to work, and then I went back to work, and then all the ear infections, and don't forget about the laziness... you get the picture.

For some people this is a no brainer - "Quit the pool!!! JUST STOP SENDING YOUR 40 BUCKS EVERY MONTH!!!" But for us this gets all wrapped up in why we're not more active, and not wanting to give up on fitness and being "ready" to work out if the opportunity presents itself. It's hard to stop spending money on the gamble that you might wake up one day and want to suddenly be a better, healthier person.

So we take JB for the first time to the pool that there is no way for him to know he is a member of. It's not the first time he's been in water or a pool, but there is a unique feature of our pool. The kiddie-pool shallow part is a ramp. You walk into it like you are walking into the ocean. Allow me to explain with a visual image that is not really drawn to scale:


The Dark Blue is the regular, larger part of one of the pools (it is longer and wider than it appears here). That pool is 4 to 7 feet deep and the red lines indicate swim lanes. The Yellow is the beginning of the ramp and has water only barely covering your toes. The Green part is 5-7 feet of water that is less than a foot deep, and the Aqua area gradually goes to 2-ish feet as you round the corner and head into the bigger pool. The point of all of this is that JB gets to walk into and around in water that is waist and chest high and doesn't have to be carried all around to explore pool/swimming options.

He started hesitant, but quickly grew to enjoy himself. At first, he wouldn't walk into the water but wanted to be carried. After he realized that he could safely navigate the shallow water, he wanted to explore. Several times he walked right into water that was higher than his mouth or fell completely into water that was a foot deep. We were right there to buoy him up and he came out of the drink every time coughing and sputtering a little, but also laughing.

Watching him in this environment might have been my favorite hour of parenting so far. It was relaxing and simplistic; exciting and mellow. It doesn't hurt that I like the water so much myself. Just being in shallow water with my wife and son made me so happy. For a split second, I wished we had the camera to take photos or video, but I quickly tossed that notion aside. "Be.here.now." I told myself. There was no way to really document these feelings anyway.

JB was beside himself with what can only be described as excited joy. When he ventured out a little bit alone with me, I would point out katy to him. From a distance, he would flail about ecstatic when he caught a glimpse of her. When she had him and his eyes re-located me, he would excitedly slap his chest like a gorilla. But mostly we were all three together. We passed him back and forth, log-tossed him a little. Put him on a kick-board, let him hang on to our floating toes... He put his face in the water, tried to imitate me blowing bubbles, he got on his belly to "swim", he got on his back and "kicked", he held onto my neck and rode on my back as I took him into the bigger pool. By the end, he was walking in an out pretty independently. Then, he was jumping from a seated position and then standing position into my arms off the side of the pool. I couldn't have been prouder if he suddenly counted to 100. It was nothing but fun. And I guess if we needed to quantify it, totally worth the year and 1/2 of membership dues that we obligingly paid despite not using the facilities.

But some people think he CAN deliver gifts to all the people of the world in less than 24 hours

Today I followed Mac into the bathroom at my mom's house because I had to wash my hands at the same time that Mackenzie decided she needed to use the toilet. When I turned the water on I heard:

Mac: you washing your hands?
tt: yes, I just changed JB's diaper, so I want to wash my hands.
Mac: (closing the door) I need privacy
tt: (drying my hands) I can go and give you privacy
Mac: No, you can stay with me.
tt: Okay.
Mac: (after a few minutes of me waiting for her to do her business and watching her swing her legs back and forth while sitting on the toilet) Barack Obama is the president now.
tt: yeah, he just took the oath of office a few weeks ago.
Mac: But he doesn't bring presents like Santa.
tt: (not understanding until I repeated it out loud). That's right, Barack Obama is president, but Santa brings presents.
Mac: yeah, he is president, not santa.

True. True.

Nick names and defending cousins

We were at my mom's last night as she had brought both Mac and JB home from school.
First there was the story that Nana and Papa witnessed Mackenzie "defending" Jake's honor.
Apparently, Bryce had taken a toy from JB and Mac told him "No, Jacob was playing with that, Bryce. You give that back to Jacob." Then some pulling and shoving ensued that got Bryce put into a timeout while Jake when off looking for a replacement toy.

Then I overhear a conversation between katy and Mackenzie.
K: Mackenzie, I don't have a nick name, you should help me get one.
M: yeah.
K: Do you know what a nick name is?
M: (silence)
K: What is your nick name?
M: Mackenzie B- XXX (using all three names)
K: No, that's your full name, what's your nick name?
M: (silence) heh
K: what do we sometimes call you?
M: (silence)
tt: Do we sometimes call you MacMac?
K: do we sometimes call you Mac?
M: My mommy sometimes calls me Mac Attack.
K: YES!!! THAT'S YOUR NICK NAME... What is Cameron's nickname?
M: Cameron P- XXX (using all three names)
K: That's her full name. But what do we sometimes call her?
M: (silence)
K: Is it Cam?
tt: or do we call her CamCam?
M: Or we call her Cam-a-licious.
tt and K: YES!!!
K: Yes, everyone has a nickname. tt's name is tracy, but we call her tt. Nana's name is nancy, but we call her Nana. Papa's name is Brian, but we call him Papa. But I don't have a nick name. What's my nick name? Will you give me one?
M: Your name is KT, Katy... Don't you know your name?

(true cuteness)

Kissing cousins

This week, they put the kids in the one year old room. It would have been traumatic for JB's mommies if CamCam had not gone in there with him. There are all these new rules about sleeping and eating and wearing shoes... At home, JB is a little bit of a mess. Twice, he's going to bed before 7pm which makes me very sad b/c it means I am seeing him less than an hour at night and about 1.5 hours in the morning (which is not my best time of the day.)

Yesterday, I brought JB to day care and he saw Cam for the first time in 2 days (His grannies have been in town watching him at home since his birthday.) Well, Cammie saw me and started crawling at break-neck pace. And JB started crawling towards her as well. I was nervous that when they met each other he might swat at her or something because he's been a little rambunctious lately. But, when they met up, they both sat up, faced each other and clapped. Then they put their foreheads together and each put their hands on the cheeks of the other. I had to turn away to keep from weeping. It might have been the sweetest thing I have ever seen.

Then, quite unable to drive away at that moment, I stalled by going into the 2 year old room to see Mac. She dropped her spoon and RAN to give me the biggest hug. And the hundreds of hours of driving I've done to put this kid in day care with his cousins is instantly some of the best time I've spent.

Babysitting

Last night, Nana and I picked up the girls, fed them, and put them to bed because Mommy was out of town, and Daddy was working late. The babies (JB and Cam) went down first, and Mac was very sweet and listening well as I was trying to get her to bed without any crying or screaming that would wake the kids.

"Let's go brush your teeth," I whispered

"Okay." she responded quietly. We put tooth gel on her brush and she brushed for about 30 seconds and then offered me the brush, "Your turn."

"My turn?" I took the brush and pretended to polish my pearly whites.

"No silly," Mac giggled, "You brush my teeth, TT."

"Oh." I was glad I was awake enough to not have actually put the brush in my mouth! It was a page out of Amelia Bedelia.

Corn and corn pot

Sorry that you'll probably see some of these in a newsletter... they were too cute to wait.

First you grow and pick the corn...








Then you find a pot to cook it in...
















Who me? Spill your iced coffee?
I don't know what you're talking about...

Things you can eat... sort of

I feel like I have to write a little post about Mac because lately she's just been so sweet and getting so smart and such a pleasure to spend time with... If you read the archives of the GSO, you will notice I have said this pretty much from the moment she arrived (if not before) but at 2 1/2 she might have her moments, but is nothing close to "terrible" as the "twos" are named.

One of the day care workers had a baby. And when Web said to Mac, "Chrissy had her baby: a baby girl." Mackie said, "SHE DID? I WANT TO EAT IT." Web was like, "um okay, not exactly what I expected to hear," but it is what we always say to babies around these parts, "I'm gonna come eat you up." And our babies usually laugh and laugh at that one.

Another story from a little while ago involves all the kids taking a bath together:
Mac: That's JB's peanut
Nana: Yes, his penis.
Mac: His peanut.
Nana and TT: (giggling quietly and deciding not to push it.)
later, when Web came home my mom told her, "Mac saw JB's penis."
Me: Actually, she saw his 'peanut'.
Web (laughing) Well, that explains that...

When we asked for the explanation, my sister recounted that recently, Mac had seen her dad's package, and when she said, "Daddy, what's that?"
He replied, "That's my penis."
To which she exclaimed, "YOU CAN EAT IT?!?"
"um, not really."

Newsletter: Month 10

Dear JB,

Today you are 10 months old. It seems like a very short time and an eternity all at once. The part that really gets us is that in 2 months you will be ONE YEAR OLD! The time seems like it is going so fast. it's already hard to believe there was a time when you couldn't make funny faces, laugh, and eat food food!


There were a couple of momentous new developments in the last couple of weeks. First, you learned to crawl! People keep telling us that "it's all over now". By "it" I'm assuming they mean that because you are mobile our WHOLE LIFE is over, but, honestly, we're so excited that you can move around. It's better than the alternative: carrying your almost 20lb (and growing!) butt everywhere!


It is a little more labor intensive to watch and play with you because you are almost always non-stop. Before, you used to sit with your toys and hang for hours and we could watch you with one eyeball. Now you require two, sometimes four eyeballs and a few hands to keep you in line. You love your toys, especially the drum sticks Mommy got you from a parade that your Papa was in. Drumming seems to be a favorite activity. No real rhythm yet, but we'll work on that. You also consider the remote control, any telephone, and any glass we want to drink out of your personal toy. They get you moving fast enough to blur.


You pull yourself up on everything: tables, chairs, couches, legs, etc. Sometimes you use your teeth to get up that last inch to where you want to be. You're getting good at cruising around (especially if one of the above named objects is within eyesight!)

The second momentous development is that you have two teeth! Or, as Mac likes to point out, JB HAS TWO TEEFS! You've done pretty well so far with the large hard sharp objects poking through your tiny soft gums - seriously, that HAS to hurt. One of your circus tricks is to "play the tuba" on our cheeks but this sometimes devolves into a puncture wound because I'm not sure you 1. know you have teeth or 2. know what teeth are for.

We did some traveling this month. First to Brooklyn on the 4th of July to see the Womb Whisperer and her man, and HND and his man. You slept all the way there and then woke up with a fever of 102. Coxsackie had run rampant through the daycare that week and we thought for sure you made it out unscathed, but no. You were fussy and cranky but overall a total trooper.



The following day we picked up your Auntie Kate and went to NJ for Dr. R and Dr. U's wedding. You wore a traditional Indian kurti that was just divine. It matched your eyes and personality perfectly. You loved seeing the horse the groom arrived on and dancing with the crowd, and then sat very patiently and quietly through the whole ceremony.




You love love love to iChat with your Grannies in Ohio. Your 10 month birthday was also your Granna's birthday and we FINALLY got the i.Mac back on the internet just in time. You crawl right to the screen and try to touch their faces, and occasionally attempt to eat them. You definitely know they're there and we love when they make you giggle all the way from Ohio. It doesn't make up for the distance, but it helps.



You have become a regular at our softball games. We play two nights a week in the summer and come with us almost every time. There is no dearth of open arms waiting to some Jake time around there - our teammates are JB junkies!


The noises you make are now wide and varied. You have ba, da, ma and occasionally ga down pat. You seem to know exactly what we're saying to you most of the time, and you choose whether or not to pay attention. You communicate in all kinds of ways - including spitting your food at us when you're all done. Or happy. Or saying hi. The inflection in your voice is getting more varied but your favorite sound is still a simple, guttural yell.




We continue to feel blessed each and every day you wake us up at 5:15am. You are such a sweet boy that loves to snuggle and giggle. They love you at daycare, and pretty much anywhere we take you people want to stop and say hi to the boy with "those big blue eyes". Some days we still can't believe you're here and frequently well up with tears in gratitude for the joy you bring us.


With hearts overflowing,
Your Mommies

Life changing phone call

Yesterday, I got a call from my sister that resulted in the first purposeful conversation I've ever had with Mac on the phone. We try to speak on the phone often- to get her used to the idea that we are there even if we aren't "right there." but it usually goes something like:

Me: Hi mac!
M: Hi
Me: how was school?
M: Hi, tt
Me: How is your sister cam-cam?
M: yeah.
Me: Did you eat dinner with Mommy and Daddy?
M: Hi, tt...
(buttons getting pushed)
etc.

Yesterday, my sister called and said that they would have to cancel our lunch plans because Mac would not take a nap. Slow on the uptake, I told her that was fine, and she should do whatever she needed to. Backing out of a previously scheduled appointment is much more my style than my sister's, but the incongruence was lost on me. I was too distracted by the precedent-setting: If I'm honest, there was an instant source of relief that my sister might change her schedule based on her kid's sleep cycle- This seemed like something that would come up for us in the future.

Then Web spoke more slowly and in a voice very much reserved for the humans on Sesame Street. ie: "Grover do you think you should steal that cookie from Cookie Monster?"

Web: No, tt, I'm sorry, we won't be able to come because Mac is not taking a nap.
Me: Ooooooooh... Is this for her benefit?
Web: yes.
Me: (feeling like someone who has just woken up) oh...
Web: Do you want to talk to tt?
Mac: (getting on the phone) TT, I not coming.
Me: What?!? You're not coming to papa's birthday?!?
Mac: No. I take no nap.
Me: Well, then take a nap, so that you can come.
Mac: No.
Me: But what about papa? and JB?? and Katy???
Mac: Katy and JB?
Me: Yeah, don't you want to see them?
Mac: Yeah.
Me: (over-acting like a bad soap star about to reveal a plot twist the audience has been anticipating for several months) Well, then you have to take a nap! So that you can come to papa's party and see Katy and JB!?!?!
Mac: (unimpressed with the drama) Yeah.
Me: So, we'll see you later after your nap?
Mac: On the Dora bed?
Me: Yes, take a nap on the Dora bed... and then come to lunch
Mac: Okay. Bye tt.
Web: (Returning to the phone with her Sesame Street voice still on) Okay, tt, we'll see you when Mac wakes up from her nap.

I hung up the phone and started cackling. Katy looks over like, "What now?" Only the most awesome phone conversation I've ever had with the Mac-attack!!! The brilliance of my sister's parenting tactics are rarely lost on me, but this was the first time the strategy of tag-team persuasion has been used via phone. Also, it was Mac's first official attempt at an independent RSVP.

More important, the door has been opened for the, "call your aunt and take it up with her," type of back and forth that I look forward to as one of the true benefits of sisters raising kids that are close in age.

Day Care is quiet

When we picked JB's day care, we chose one in the town of Midpoint. Midpoint is half way between my work and home. It is also the town I grew up in, play softball in, and and the town my parents, grandparents, and sister & BIL live. Our day care was Mac and Cam's day care and that seemed like a good place for JB too- with his cousins.

Coxsackie spread like a wildfire through the place last week. Cam got it and JB got it too, though b/c he was home with Katy all week and b/c he only had one day of fever and the late arrival of a rash, we didn't know that until his pediatric appointment yesterday.

Cam was sick, my sister was away, and my mom is off for the summer, so the girls were at Nana and Papa's house all last week. Also, because of a self-imposed quarantine (thinking the boy had not been exposed) we stayed away all week. This week, there was a pre-arranged "week of potty training" for Mac-attack that has prolonged the sabbatical from day care for my nieces. (They are both at nana and papa's again b/c my mom cannot stand "leaving one behind," and at our day care, we can arrange a week at 1/2 off the day care price if you give notice that the kids will be out for a pre-planned 5 day stretch, unrelated to illness.)

I'm not sure if JB even notices it, but day care is quiet and lonely without my (sister's) girls there. Even pick up (despite JB's hugs and smiles) is little empty when there is no shout of "TeeeeeeeeTeeeee."

Drop off is even more depressing without my morning hug from Mac and wave from Cam... Driving away this AM, I pouted in silence most of the way to work.

A few things

1. We had a lovely visit from the womb whisperer and her luvahh this weekend. We ate yummies and went to bed early.

2. JB is in number 3 pam.pers now... it is a kind of inconsequential reminder of how he is already growing up... I don't think I would be sad about this at all except as some of you may know, the pam.pers have little sesame street characters on the waistband. On number ones, big bird, elmo, ernie, and bert, etc are babies. On size two they are "toddler-looking" and on size three, they practically look like themselves. I am opposed to this type of "rapid-aging" of the characters. When I see the JB's new diapers, I cringe- these kids are all growzed up ("F").

3. The boy got another ear infection last week. This time in his left ear. He is on day 7 of his second 10-day course of antibiotics. He is doing well, but his appetite is markedly diminished. The crying, sad, feverish first few days last week were followed by a few days of puking. He was good at developing a warning system: a weird outcry, followed by a fake-sounding cough, and an abbreviated gurgle immediately proceeded projectile splatter. Web was christened last Friday when she baby sat in the morning, and at church on Sunday there was actually a splashing sound when about 40cc of swallow hit the floor. mmm... tasty. I don't know if the antibiotics or the mucus are throwing his GI tract for a loop, but yesterday at school, he required a full costume change. They sent him home with 2 crap-filled shirts, a pair of socks, pants, a soiled sheet, and a story that alleged it took 3 staff members to stage the clean-up.

4. My gram turned 84 last week and we attended a big bash for her. At that time, I saw Mac place an order for the first time. It went something like:

Waitress: (clearing the table)
Papa: Can I please have a coke?
Waitress: Of course. Can I get anything else for anyone at this time?
(silence) Waitress turns to walk away
Mac: (calling after her) I have some milk too...

I'm not going to lie, this kid stuns me. She's two! No one else ordered milk. No one asked if she wanted anything to drink... In this 45 second exchange she was paying enough attention to know that beverage orders were being placed. Ridiccockulous.

5. I am all tuckered out. My wife is being patient and supportive beyond the call of duty. We went to bed at 8:45 last night and I'm in bed as soon as I hit publish here. The events at work last week might be having their cumulative effect. I can't say I don't like my job because I do, but I'm back to daily headaches. I'm back to decreased milk production. I had to terminate an employee yesterday and there is a never-ending list of other "issues" that we are dealing with. blah. blah. blah.

6. My kid gets cuter every day... seriously. He's awesome.

One smart cookie

Last Thursday, I had dinner at my parent's house.

Even though my sister had eaten there the night before, she brought her family to Nana and Papa's (I think) because I hinted hard that it would be nice to see them there.

My mom and gram picked up JB at work-camp school and coordinated the timing with my sister's pick up, b/c as I have found it difficult, my mom has found it near impossible to pick one of the grands up and leave 1 or 2 of the others behind. Mom said when they got him, JB looked a little surprised or overwhelmed by the army approaching to gather him up. I reminded them that "surprised" is his default expression:




We have spend the better part of 2 years praising Mac's intellect and my sister and B in law's impressive array of parenting skills. But lately, with ever increasing verbal and cognitive skills, and a new sister and cousin in the picture, Mac has really raised the bar. She is so attentive to the kids and only flashes glimmers of jealousy, somehow stifling impulses to lash out at the adults or the babies. At dinner, Mac was behaving like a 2 year old which for her is "acting up," but the entire time I had to hide my giggles and not show her how impressed I was with her cleverness.

When jb's babbling during dinner got him a little extra attention from Papa, Mac turned to him and banged her hands on his high chair to interrupt his speech. Then she raised a forefinger at him and said, "JB, you be good." I was amused but her mother was not. My sister lifted my niece out of her chair and said, "I need to talk to you for a minute over here." As they approached the stairs i heard Mac pose a question-statement:
Mac: I am going to time out.
Web: No, you are not going to time out, but I want to talk to you
Mac: I not going to time out.
Web: You need to listen to me. JB has a mommy. In fact, he has two mommies. He doesn't need you telling him what to do...

I missed the end of the lesson, but when Mac came back she was all, "Hi, JB... Good boy, JB."

Then after a few minutes, Mac said she was done with her dinner. My sister knows she says this when she wants to get down from the table.

Web: Are you done with dinner?
Mac: yes. done.
Web: If you are done with dinner, you are all done. You can't get down and then eat more later.
Mac understood what my sister was getting at without further explanation. She held her forefinger up (at my sister this time) in the manner of someone saying, "Wait one minute,"
and nodded at Web with, "Just one cookie."

Me: (snickering- trying not to laugh audibly)
Web: No, if you are finished eating, you are finished eating... If you have more asparagus and chicken, you can have one cookie later.
Mac: (forming a peace sign with her fingers and clearly training to be a hostage negotiator, counters with) Two cookies...



She's such a sweetie.

Kid's corner

I'm trying to get an audio clip from my italk device on the ipod of JB "singing" in the morning. For a few days now, he exercises his chords during our am routine in a way which totally seems like he's singing (or at least exploring what his voice can do).

He purses his lips and sort of warbles: "ooooooooohhhhhhhhh....OOOOOOOOoooooooooooohhhhh." big breath... "ooooooooohhhhhhhhh....OOOOOOOOoooooooooooohhhhh." It is really adorable.

Also, from day care yesterday:
When I picked JB up, I spent some time with mac and cam. Cam is just adorable and getting so big, for a split second, I didn't recognize her. Mac's language skills are just ridiculous. She knows so many words and applies them in various instances.
T: Who will pick you up today, Daddy?
mac: ya, Mommy.
T: yes, mommy will be home tomorrow morning, daddy is going to pick you up tonight.
mac: yeah, daddy.
T: Is mommy coming home tomorrow?
Mac: (excited) YEAH. Wednesday!
T: (stifling a laugh at the cuteness) Yes. tomorrow is Saturday, and mommy will be home tomorrow.
mac: Saturday. Mommy
(a kid throws a toy on the other side of the room. Mac looks and quietly reminds me...)
"Brice, don't throw" (I stifle another laugh)

Then we play a game where I ask her all the names of the other kids. And she knows them and can say them all: Lindsay, Kate, Brice, Sarah, Elmo... Jacob, Alina, Cam...
While are playing this game, Alina has crawled over and pulled herself up on the car seat that JB is strapped in to go home. Mac starts speaking very quietly, and giving me sideways looks that seem to say, "TT, shouldn't we get this kid out of JB's face." She abandons our game as her "protective cousin" role becomes more interesting and pressing.

mac: (in a quiet but sort of restrained voice that is somewhere between muttering, stammering, and insisting) no, no, Alina. HIS shoes. HIS. No JB's shoes. (She glances at me like: you wanna step in here and help me out with your fancy "adult language skills")
T: Is she looking at JB's shoes? That's okay we're here with her and she's JB's friend too.
mac: no, no, Alina. no shoes. JB's shoes...

Mac gives me one more subtle, "thanks for all the support" look of concern and drapes herself over the bottom half of his car seat in a dramatic hug that would make touching his shoes impossible. "Hi JB...hi..." (still hugging him, body-blocking Alina) "oh, hi JB..."

I was on standby waiting with a little concern that mac might have opted to shove this other little girl away. She didn't come close to attacking, but she found a way to "protect" him from a potential shoe thief and/or would-be groper.

i love that little girl.

JB doesn't understand about saturdays...

It was a long week, during which I did decide to join the crying criers club.
On Wednesday, when all the denial wore off, I was missing my boy and to be honest, my home. If work were a little more "slow" this week I think I would have been able to "hold it all in." But my job this week was to prep for a huge staff presentation and off site meeting that we had yesterday morning. I volunteered to be the point person for that project and got in WAY over my head. Let's just say, I was up past midnight in non-mother related duties 3 nights this week, and went to be at 2am yesterday... Nothing like a little cramming and a mountain of self-expectation to get the party rolling.

The logistics of day care drop-off are getting much more routine all ready. But as the week progressed, I was organized enough to feel some of the emotion of the routine. Also, when I see my nieces at day care (that is supposed to make it easier to leave JB, but) many mornings, it felt like I was leaving three pieces of my heart behind as cam-cam giggles and screeches every time she sees me (every time she sees anyone, really) and Mac sweetly invites you to the big girl room to play stackable blocks with her. So, yeah, by Wednesday, I cried at quick but helpful cry.
... at work... sometimes these things can't be helped.

Katy and I had committed to go to this fundraiser for church last night, but by 9pm we were both zombies... we picked the kid up at S and J's house (friends of ours that we met through kt's work) and They were like, "I thought you were going to go out after the dinner."

Just. couldn't. last.

I was almost moved to tears again when I saw how JB was sweetly sleeping in the arms of S and J's 11 year old daughter. It's good to have friends you trust in terms of "they probably know more about how to care for our baby than we do..." but when these friends also beg, berate, demand, and don't quit until you actually set a babysitting date (and then insist on being the people who run to the store so you aren't arriving late to your "dinner date" when you show up without diapers...) We know we are truly blessed with a proverbial "village" helping us raise this child.

It was a successful week, but I am exhausted. Pumping at work is another element to all of this. I am used to literally working 8.5 to 9 hours most of it in meetings; often eating lunches during meetings, or while "catching up on my computer." I know that is not cool- that getting out of your work setting usually makes you more productive, but before the baby, it would often be 2 or 3 pm before I realized I hadn't taken a break yet. Now I have to find the time every 3-4 hours to pump for 20-30 minutes. That's about 2 hours a day attached to the breast pump (half of it at work.)

Putting that (again) logistical detail aside for a moment, pumping at work is not the same as pumping at home. Even though i am lucky and have an office with a door AND a lock, it was messing with my mind all week:

1) I am doing this for the baby and the baby's best interests, but the baby is nowhere to be found, seen, smelled, or heard.
2) I have to remember to do this for the baby, but the baby is not there to remind me
3) I am at work, in work clothes, that I have to partially remove to be a mammal
4) I have to leave meetings where I am all brain power and verbal "dominance" to go milk myself
5) When I am pumping, it is hard to do other things (even with the special bra-which is a nightmare to put on) but there is not much in my office to do during the pump except surf the net.

I have remarked to some friends, that it feels like it would be as natural for a zebra to be sitting at my computer checking my email as it is for me to be sitting there "acting normal" while I am half undressed pumping the milk out of my titties at the office.

It's one of those, "When you were in high school did you ever think you would end up doing this???" moments.

NOTE: the term "have to" is obviously not accurate, I can stop at any time, but if I want to avoid adding baby formula to our grocery list, this is what I have to do.

Anyway, we had all morning to "sleep in" but the boy doesn't know that... He's like a good do-be and woke up at 5:30 to get washed and dressed for day care. We fed him and he's hopefully about to fall asleep with us again now.

Day Care

Today was JB’s first day at day care.

Maybe the smartest thing I’ve ever done, was to plan to work from home today. I think if I had to go to work and act happy to be there, I would not have gotten anything done.

When I drove away from the drop off, I called my sis (she’s done this before) and she said all the right things. Thank God she was in Florida on vacation and not on a cruise. (Not that she and I haven’t done extended “ship to shore” calls before…) And then when I hung up with her, I called kt. I might have called Kate first except, I didn’t want to upset her that I was freaking a little, and also, she’s been busy at work and I didn’t want to risk that she wouldn’t pick up.

Kt asked if I cried when I left him, and I said “no.”

The emotion was more like “wanting to get in a fight with someone.” I was all "tough mama-bear” not “sad mama-bear.” That’s kind of weird, right? It didn’t occur to me to cry b/c I was so tense and “all business.” I didn’t really even know how to say goodbye to him because I was worrying in my head that I forgot to bring something he might need.

Also, I was experiencing a little denial. I kind of wanted to pull a “be right back.”

Mac has started saying this. She holds her forefinger up as if to say “wait a minute” and then looking up at you says: “Be right back.” Then she turns her head away for a few seconds and turns back as if she’s left and has now come back. It’s adorable on a 2 year old who understands what be-right-back means, but she doesn’t have a quick errand in another room of the house that might take her away for a few minutes. But now I think it’s the perfect tactic for when you know you should walk away, but you don’t really want to.

In that “good-bye moment,” I wanted to be more comfortable in my own skin. I wanted to be carefree and stay to play for a few minutes. But I wasn’t at all comfortable in that moment. I didn’t like the distant feeling that the back of my throat was closing up, or the concern that my presence was distracting the day care staff. In being attentive to me, the other kids were being put on hold. So I took his coat off, gave him a kiss, and said goodbye. It wasn’t sad at the time, it was stressful.

But now re-reading this, I’m choking up a little. In the quite space of the GSO, I can be gentler with myself and see why it’s okay to feel mad-protective, sad, or scared to leave him even for a few hours. It’s crazy how adults will pretend something emotional is not emotional just to get through it.

Or maybe I should just speak for myself.

Sick kid on my shoulder

I'm typing with one hand so that our baby can sleep while i blog.

There's no particular reason to multi-task in this way except I think the boy has his 1st cold. I say, "I think," because in lieu of a fever, I'm not sure how you tell if a 3.5 month old is sick. He's just not himself. But as I've pointed out several times in this blog, I don't really know the kid all that well... Maybe he is "changing."

Anyway, the little boo is so sleepy and his eyes are puffy and a little red, and he isn't that interested in the giddy up and go gym and he can't really soothe himself to sleep (which normally he is perfectly content to do.) So, we'll just kind of hold him and love him, make sure he's still peeing, and he wakes up to eat, and we will dose him with Ty.lenol (if it comes to that.)

I didn't yet post about our day-long quest for the perfect day care (this Thursday past). Since Thursday, I've returned to my crazy state of insomnia where I'm up at 2 or 3 am and can't fall back to sleep until 5 or 6am (coincidence? shya.)

I can't deny that there is a part of me that is looking forward to going back to work. I miss the place. I'm good at that job. I get something out of it other than a paycheck. Additionally, there is a part of me that knows... knows (in bold and in italics) that day care can give this kid more than I can.

Yes, you heard me right. Not more love, obviously... but more stability, structure, redundant and focused age-appropriate learning.

I've had 5 or 6 women say to me: "Keep saying that if it makes you feel better." Which i think is kind of f---ing ridiculous to even mentally challenge me on, let along say to a new mom who is about to put her kid in day care (I mean I could go on and on about how annoying that is! Do they not understand about KNOWING something; in both bold and italics)?!? Don't argue with me here, sister.

It is not really a financial option (because we've decided that we don't want to sell our house and live the way we would have to live on only one income) but I feel confident that even if we could afford for me (or katy) to stay home, we would not be able to stay home with him and focus on him to the extent that they will. There will be days where I would be all like, hurry and finish your yogurt so that we can go meet up with the chicks from the View... and TV watching would be just the beginning of all of the things I would be trying to get done during a day... "I know you're tired, but there is only one-day for the 'family and friends ONE DAY sale' at Koh.ls, honey... that day is today, so here's a binkie and try to keep it down..."

Still, there is a part of me (and I know katy shares in this) that gets physically ill at the prospect of being away from him for that huge percentage of our day.

We visited 4 day care establishments on Thursday, and decided to register JB at the day care attended by his cousins. This decision will require JB's mommies to increase their work commutes, but the day care is located just about half-way between my work and home. It was the cleanest looking of the four, the director appears to be well liked and kind. It comes with "adult" family back up only minutes away, and JB and Cam will spend their days in each other's company. Mac will be in the next room and we were told she asks to come in the newborn room 1-2 times a day to pat Cam on the head and say Hi.

The other night when we drove to check out the evening traffic route, a dry-run for day care "pick up," we met my sister and her little ones in the parking lot. I can't say that the comparative quality of the facility isn't highest on our list of priorities, but when Mac motioned for me to put JB's carrier down so that she could plant a kiss on his cheek, it was an endearingly compelling argument. She even made the "kiss noise" for him, which is an extra nugget of sweetness the rest of us don't always earn.

So it is probably no coincidence either that after spending 10 to 20 minutes each in 4 separate day care centers, the boy seems to have come down with his first cold....

whatchagonnado?