We're home

Maybe I was too Pollyanna going in, but JB's tonsil/adenoids/ear tube surgery was so much worse than I expected. At the end of the day, JB did fine, but he was pretty miserable and he acted like a REAL asshole two year old when it came to taking his medicine and eating/drinking.

No matter what we asked of him, the answer was "no". The reverse psychology we tried was confusing even to me... At one point I heard myself telling him, "okay, I'm going to go tell the nurse to give this pain medication to another little boy, since I don't want u to have it."

?!?

I wasn't saying it angrily. Just sweetly trying to entice him into desiring something he wasn't allowed to have...

Totally fucked up!!!

Our biggest problem was that hospital discharge was contingent on his drinking and eating. But the more we harped on it, the more he refused: face all swollen, thick drool falling out, voice distorted and muffled, eyes rolling around in his head from the narcotics. I would have given anything to let him just do whateverthefuck he wanted to, but apparently dehydration means all sorts of terrible things in this scenario; not the least of which is increased discomfort for him.

We used the alarm on the iPhone (as we have been for potty training) to negotiate a sip of apple juice every 5 minutes. And TWO hrs later, he had put away 118 cc (4oz).

Nightmare.

I cannot hound a kid this little, this sick, for this long, with such poor results without wanting to off myself... Not. Kidding.

Thing was, except for two bites of a banana, that 118 cc was our only evidence that he could swallow after the surgery. That was literally ALL we could get him to take in after two days of not eating. Finally, when I was resigned to the fact that we would be staying another night at the hospital (visions of ML's illness and the emotional panic of "we're never getting out of here" PTSD dancing in my head) the surgeon came in and suggested he might do better at home.

Indeed. Apparently, with 2 days of IV on board, it would take 36-48 hours of him drinking NOTHING to get dehydrated. And all we have to get into him is 2-ish ounces every 3-4 hours. ML burps up more liquid than that!!!

So, JB has done better at home. A lot better. Including a nap in his own bed, a meal of at least 15 mini penne and several sips of both water and milk, a bath, brushing of teeth, and piling into a queen sized bed to sleep with his moms (and not a hospital twin).

Some advice for any that follow:

1) If your kid has never really had juice, it does not magically become an enticing reward or treat, post anesthesia. I think he might now never drink the stuff.

2) The same is true for jello, pudding, and popsicles. Though I think he might come around to these foods tomorrow, it seems that JB isn't really into the "sweet treats".

3) Handy Manny is everything that Bob the builder is not: calm, confident, polite, low-key, sweet, etc. I have a serious crush on Handy Manny (where I just seriously wanted to crush Bob the Builder)... Buying the Handy Manny DVD for this hospitalization may have just saved my life!

Not. kidding.

I'm saying this after watching that DVD all frigging day; and I don't even care if I have to watch it again tomorrow.

4) Sippy cups (with the valve taken out) is the way to dump some beverage in their mouth, when you are looking around- as I was- for some type of "hose" apparatus... If only I could find a way to spray some liquid in there... then he would be force to swallow it...

Pre-operative fun times:

A FEW MORE COMMENTS:

1) I don't know how single parents do this shit. I'm not kidding. My wife and I have been sleep deprived for weeks, probably months... AND we have each other AND we have family pretty much always available to help. AND family living with us right now taking charge of caring for ML during this. I just don't know or get how single parents do it.

2) Haiti. Earthquake. Awful.

3) Have you read "The conservative case for Gay Marriage" Newsweek cover story this week? It was written by Ted Olsen (conservative lawyer that successfully argued Bush v. Gore in front of the supreme court.) Ted Olsen and David Boies (Progressive lawyer that unsuccessfully argued Bush v. Gore to the Supreme Court) are the plaintiff lawyers attempting to overturn Prop 8 in California. I know the risk these lawyers are taking risks with my rights. If they bring the Prop 8 trial to this Supreme Court and they lose, it could set back marriage equality DECADES... That is why initially, HRC and Lamda Legal and mainstream gay rights groups opposed these two, white, straight guys taking charge in this battle.

But I can't help feel that they are doing it the "right" way. The other option: Enlisting only liberals in the fight and "waiting for the right time"??? Could there be a more "ball-sac" way of "demanding equality"?!?

I think not.

These guys... If they pull it off... Are going to go down in history as brave, American heroes. They are heroes in my book even if they don't pull it off. The arguments they are making are void of trickery, obvious, and compelling. Handy Manny has some competition for my heart today...

You can keep track of the trial (with commentary) here:

I'm going to try and put the feed in the sidebar... it's very interesting.

Sent from my iPhone