When Katy and I were married, this was the song playing during our first dance together...
It is true, isn't it? Love is all you need.
And also, sometimes, it's no where near enough.
There will be more to write and share because this blog is really for our sons, and when they grow up, they deserve to know a bit more about the "say what now?" that we have set in motion. But tonight, it seems important to come clean on the Gin Soaked Olive...
Most of the last year has been a slow, heartbreaking dance of negotiation and decision (Katy's and my relationship hanging in the balance). As marriage equality, literally swept the country; as DOMA was overturned; as state after state leveled the legal playing field, it became more and more clear that our marriage was coming to an end. This Thanksgiving weekend brought to fruition the culmination of hundreds of hours of discussion and debate, and a physical split that has followed an emotional separation, a transfer of finances and home ownership, a filing for divorce.
In case I'm being too vague. We regret to inform our readers that, Katy and I have split up. Though we will always be a family, she has moved out of our home into a house she has purchased nearby, and we will share custody of Jake and Milo.
It is sad and difficult to explain. We have been and will continue to be as amicable as possible. We will always prioritize the health and happiness of our sons.
And I will attempt to stop writing on these pages using so much "we" and shift to the more appropriate, first person singular voice.
Showing posts with label The Gayborhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Gayborhood. Show all posts
Sunday, December 01, 2013
Monday, March 11, 2013
Keeping me on my game
The other day, I'm buckling Jake into the car seat (seriously, every other kindergartner we know can buckle themselves in) and he holds up his hands in a full shrug:
"So, what's a 'Husband' anyway?"
I can't help feeling like I'm walking into a trap. I know he knows what a "husband" is, after all.
I think he's pretty much asking me why we don't have one, but I don't want to over-blow it.
I take a deep breath, knowing I have 15 seconds to figure out how to play this and I lead with my inner goof-ball.
"You KNOW what a HUSBAND is?!?" I say in my best, exaggerated, game-show host voice.
"No," he says with a convincing earnestness.
"A husband," I say matter of factly, "Is a man who is married. If a man is married, he's a husband. If a woman is married, she's a wife."
Jake contemplates his fingernails, while I continue, "When a man and a women get married, they are a husband and a wife." I employ a sillier voice at this point, "HUSBANDS and wives. Husbands AND wives. Husbands and WIVES... But SOMETIMES, there's a..." I pause for dramatic effect "WIFE and a WIFE..."
"Like in our house!" We say it in unison and he smiles.
I let it hang in the air like a "Ta-Da!!!"
"And SOMETIMES," my voice is full of drama and mischief, "There is a HUSBAND and a HUSBAND... But USUALLY..." I borrow the cadence of that dog food commercial from the 80's. "Usually... it's husbands and wives, husbands and wives, husbands and wives." (Kibbles and bits, Kibbles and bits, kibbles and bits).
Jake all but yawns. "Yeah," he says completely unimpressed with the theatrics, "I guess you just have to decide who you love..."
(sigh.)
Yeah...
"So, what's a 'Husband' anyway?"
I can't help feeling like I'm walking into a trap. I know he knows what a "husband" is, after all.
I think he's pretty much asking me why we don't have one, but I don't want to over-blow it.
I take a deep breath, knowing I have 15 seconds to figure out how to play this and I lead with my inner goof-ball.
"You KNOW what a HUSBAND is?!?" I say in my best, exaggerated, game-show host voice.
"No," he says with a convincing earnestness.
"A husband," I say matter of factly, "Is a man who is married. If a man is married, he's a husband. If a woman is married, she's a wife."
Jake contemplates his fingernails, while I continue, "When a man and a women get married, they are a husband and a wife." I employ a sillier voice at this point, "HUSBANDS and wives. Husbands AND wives. Husbands and WIVES... But SOMETIMES, there's a..." I pause for dramatic effect "WIFE and a WIFE..."
"Like in our house!" We say it in unison and he smiles.
I let it hang in the air like a "Ta-Da!!!"
"And SOMETIMES," my voice is full of drama and mischief, "There is a HUSBAND and a HUSBAND... But USUALLY..." I borrow the cadence of that dog food commercial from the 80's. "Usually... it's husbands and wives, husbands and wives, husbands and wives." (Kibbles and bits, Kibbles and bits, kibbles and bits).
Jake all but yawns. "Yeah," he says completely unimpressed with the theatrics, "I guess you just have to decide who you love..."
(sigh.)
Yeah...
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
The Weight and Wait of Parenthood
[Author's note: This post is a little more raw (and long) than most that I put up... I've just had a lot on my mind and I'm trying to "Shake some things out". To all our peeps out there who are going through crazy shit. We love you. The greatest gifts include friends that will not only support you, but turn to you and lean, rely, and/or involve you in their sorrow. The friends that wade around in the muck with you are treasures, but the ones that ask you to be in the muck with them are truly a gift. To all of you who are willing (and even eager) to read the multitude of words below- and read this blog on a regular basis, I hope you know that supporting my writing this way is a gift that I can't really repay except to say, "Thank you for hanging out with me in the muck that my mind creates. I really appreciate it." This post has taken me about 2 weeks to write and another week to "clean up". It's still a disaster and probably not fit for public consumption. HAHA! Enter the Blogosphere... especially after that really sweet thank you that I wrote up there, you're practically emotionally blackmailed into reading the snivel below :)!!!]
---------------------
I'm in one of those "things" right now. It's a warm, sunny 65 degrees out. The mild winter has given over to an early Spring. Our bellies are full. Our money is sufficient. Our careers are fulfilling and still full of promise. Our children are healthy and beautiful, talented and delightful. Our family and friends abundantly generous and loving. But...
"Waiting for the other shoe to drop" used to be something I did with intense vigilance. But for most of the last 10 years, I've gotten better about it. Be present, be zen, consider the lilies in the field... yada, yada.
I think I've mentioned it here before, I come from people that tend NOT to be superstitious; but sometimes one or two living ancestors will admit that within the core values subtly passed down (especially to and from the women) is embedded a belief that you can somehow ward off tragedy if you put enough effort into preventative forms of worry.
Due to the size of the institution that I currently work at, earning trust, making a good first impression, and doing lot of homework to understand history and context has become the most important aspect of my daily professional life for the past 3 1/2 months. Learning a bunch of new names, systems, and the rules of an odd new game is the kind of roller-coaster excitement my brain thrives on, but the kind of "why am I stuck to the side of this centrifuge?!?" nausea that my intestines just can't wait to be over.
Concurrently, longer work hours mean that the family dynamic has shifted slightly. The boys (who were theoretically equally reliant on both Mommy and Mama) have grown to expect more time with Mama during the work week. The job is going well, Katy has been amazing, but I have to admit all of this has left me to feel a bit vulnerable and somewhat insecure in my roles both at home and in the office.
Frankly this is an unsettling side-effect of what should be a win-win scenario. By all accounts, I am doing well in the new job- getting great feedback about my performance and feeling at least an intermittent sense of accomplishment. Additionally, our family structure is a might bit stronger now owing to the increased money and stability, that accompanies the new job.
It's confusing to just not feel "happy-happy-happy" when all indicators (seasonal, economic, social, professional) indicate that conditions are more than ripe for contentment and bliss...
At this very moment in time, we have friends that are sick, dying, have cancer, have children with cancer, are on the brink of divorce, trying to forgive a spouse for cheating, are losing their parents, are losing their jobs, are reeling from the suicide of a friend, are trying to recover from depression, illness, injury, addiction, are picking up their lives and moving across the country to follow their dreams... I'm not generalizing here, like, "We mostly likely know people who are going through these types of things..." I mean there are individuals that we care about very much that all of those things are happening to.
I had this private moment of pure contentment and gratitude and then a few days later, C texted me from CA.
"How's it going?" I inquired which has recently become shorthand for "How's life in the strange, stressful land of baby-making?" (Or Turkey-baster-ville as we're inclined to refer to it with our lesbian friends).
She texted that they had decided to take a break from "trying".
"oh..." I replied.
"It was just a little too sad."
Yup. That wasn't just a text to me. Ugh. The memory of that place is not so far away. It came flushing back like a big wave. Reading that message on my iPhone, I FELT that sadness. It brought all my (current, unfocused, and practically unexplainable) sadness to a sharp point and in solidarity, I wanted to jab that point into my forearm.
Oh, that place of ache- Where you finally put out into the universe what you really WANT and it is not something small or material, but something tremendous and life altering. And you do it in humility with an understanding that you don't always get what you want; but you do it intentionally and you try to be patient in that place of uncertainty and vulnerability... And when it doesn't work, when the pee stick comes up negative month after month, at first it catches like a hangnail on your psyche, and then it starts to feel like something life-threatening. And you don't know why it hurts that much because you look around and your life is pretty damn good. It's confusing to feel such gratitude and such grief at the same time.
The very same hour I received the text from C, I heard this story on NPR. And I just couldn't believe the timing. I had a little epiphany, and got a little closer to understanding it.
I think the reason it hurts so much is because your kids are out there, and you're worried about them even if you haven't met them yet... You can feel these little spirits out there- the ones that are to be your children. You feel their breath on your neck sometimes, even before they exist. You feel it so real it cannot be mere imagination. And you want to trust what you've been told (what you generally believe) that everything happens for a reason... all in good time, etc... but still, ask any parent... being away from your kids is really quite devastating.
The physical, psychological, and societal separation from her full-grown (but-still-her-baby) son has been shocking. Yet, as she walks around, people can't even perceive the sadness she has endured. She's one of the strongest, most loving, generous, resourceful, lacking in self-pity, and rational people I've ever known. In the mean time, her 18 year old (second) son has told her she will become a grandmother in a few months. Not a tragedy by any stretch- but still- could we just possibly have dealt with one thing at a time. Speaking to her on the phone, I'm all like, "Don't buy one, single baby thing without checking with me first b/c we are about to unload everything you need from crib to boppy and I even have a whole bunch of stuff you'll probably wish you never heard of..."
I try to talk to her about what she needs, if there is anything I can do. But mostly what I want to ask her is, "How is your heart? Is there anything I can do "mother-to-mother" to help plug up any of the holes in your armor that might leave you exposed and vulnerable?" She tells me nonchalantly that this has taken it's toll on her relationship with her husband. And more pressing, he is finally working on treating his addictions. My heart sinks. Not really surprised at this news, that this has been happening in the background too. I just want to shake a fist at the furies and say, "GIVE HER A BREAK"!!!
"I don't know how you're holding it all together," I tell her.
"As if I have a choice" she says. And then she puts it out there and wraps the truth around both of us: There is nothing that matters as much as these things. This year of razor sharp heartbreak somehow brings with it validity and redemption. Sorrow to better enjoy the sweetness of life. There is no choice but to experience sorrow in life, but if there were, it might not be the best idea to opt out of it.
I do understands what she means. If you've never spent a day clawing out of a cave, or stroking a hand in a hospital room, or anxiously waiting outside of an ICU or a courtroom, it's hard not to pity your innocence. Blessedly rare are those individuals that are able to look upon and recognize actual happiness without the focusing lens of sorrow and heartbreak.
All I can say, to our friends C and L (struggling in Turkey-baster-ville) is, "I know. I'm sorry. Hang in there." I want to leave it at that because in my experience, when you are trying to get pregnant, people offer way too-fucking-much in the way of opinions and advice. But since no one has ever accused me of talking too little (why use 5 words when you can write 2500?) I'll add an encouraging, empathetic, tender-hearted:
"Get used to it".
Barely relying on metaphor, this is the start of parenthood. That negative pee stick, and all the things that will happen before and after you and your children are reunited it's like boot camp for your hearts; for the endurance marathon that follows. Stretch and pull and run, and use ice and heat intermittently to soothe your aches, and start to believe that you can do it, because you can... (but believing that you can is really half the battle).
It's already started, you don't even really have a choice in the matter.
It's both a long wait and a heavy weight.
But you can do it.
---------------------
I'm in one of those "things" right now. It's a warm, sunny 65 degrees out. The mild winter has given over to an early Spring. Our bellies are full. Our money is sufficient. Our careers are fulfilling and still full of promise. Our children are healthy and beautiful, talented and delightful. Our family and friends abundantly generous and loving. But...
Regrets collect like old friendsI'm in a tender spot. When I just carried a sleeping Milo from the car to his bed to finish his mid-day nap, I nearly broke apart into tears- tears of happiness, tears of sorrow, tears of worry, tears of heaven only knows what. Carrying him, I couldn't help note the weight of him- symbolic of so much contradiction: He's so big and so tiny at the same time. He's everything we needed to complete our little family, everything we wanted and dreamed of... he's so needy and so independent. At 2 1/2 years, he has already changed me, taught me things I didn't know I didn't know. I went to put him in his bed and stopped and held on. I cradled him close for a few more moments. I thought of our friends and family members who have lost children and pushed that terrible terror back down into my gut and summonsed the happiness and clarity of this perfect moment. His weight and beauty so tangible. This is parenthood, the weight of holding on, the weight of letting go. The joy and grief of holding on to something that you are simultaneously preparing to let go of... Like the very breath in your lungs.
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play
And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn
"Waiting for the other shoe to drop" used to be something I did with intense vigilance. But for most of the last 10 years, I've gotten better about it. Be present, be zen, consider the lilies in the field... yada, yada.
I think I've mentioned it here before, I come from people that tend NOT to be superstitious; but sometimes one or two living ancestors will admit that within the core values subtly passed down (especially to and from the women) is embedded a belief that you can somehow ward off tragedy if you put enough effort into preventative forms of worry.
And I've been a fool and I've been blindThe last several months, life for me personally has changed considerably- almost entirely related to changing jobs. I had to say "I'll see you around" to some very fun, lovable, trustworthy friends that I worked with every day. And then I started to spend my days as a stranger on foreign turf with people I don't know well, if at all. I left a position where a lot of decision making authority was in my hands, to take a position where there are several more layers of managers above me, weighing in on decisions that would have been mine at the other shop.
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around
All of these questions, such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues drawn
But it's always darkest before the dawn
Due to the size of the institution that I currently work at, earning trust, making a good first impression, and doing lot of homework to understand history and context has become the most important aspect of my daily professional life for the past 3 1/2 months. Learning a bunch of new names, systems, and the rules of an odd new game is the kind of roller-coaster excitement my brain thrives on, but the kind of "why am I stuck to the side of this centrifuge?!?" nausea that my intestines just can't wait to be over.
Concurrently, longer work hours mean that the family dynamic has shifted slightly. The boys (who were theoretically equally reliant on both Mommy and Mama) have grown to expect more time with Mama during the work week. The job is going well, Katy has been amazing, but I have to admit all of this has left me to feel a bit vulnerable and somewhat insecure in my roles both at home and in the office.
Frankly this is an unsettling side-effect of what should be a win-win scenario. By all accounts, I am doing well in the new job- getting great feedback about my performance and feeling at least an intermittent sense of accomplishment. Additionally, our family structure is a might bit stronger now owing to the increased money and stability, that accompanies the new job.
It's confusing to just not feel "happy-happy-happy" when all indicators (seasonal, economic, social, professional) indicate that conditions are more than ripe for contentment and bliss...
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoaFor whatever reason, my reaction to the stress of these "life-changes" includes a heightened awareness of all that can (and does) go wrong in life. And an empathetic desire to run to people that I love who are in heavy-hearted times and wrap them in some magic blanket... Maybe as a way to deflect my own fears and insecurities.
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa
At this very moment in time, we have friends that are sick, dying, have cancer, have children with cancer, are on the brink of divorce, trying to forgive a spouse for cheating, are losing their parents, are losing their jobs, are reeling from the suicide of a friend, are trying to recover from depression, illness, injury, addiction, are picking up their lives and moving across the country to follow their dreams... I'm not generalizing here, like, "We mostly likely know people who are going through these types of things..." I mean there are individuals that we care about very much that all of those things are happening to.
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your backOne of the mornings in the last several weeks, both boys were in bed with us- a surprisingly rare occurrence- and Jake, recovering from his 2nd bout of pneumonia in as many months, hacked a junky hack without waking; and Milo put his hand on my face and sighed a sleep-drenched sigh. I reached over and touched Katy with my palm, the underside of my arm resting on the two small heads in the middle. In that moment, I felt so light. Yes, our days were slightly too filled with mucus, yes we are a bit over-tired, and yes, I was awake at the unGodly 3:44 AM... but this was the exact type of moment I yearned for all those years ago when we were ready to have a child, and it wasn't working.
And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone
It's always darkest before the dawn
Oh whoa, oh whoa...
I had this private moment of pure contentment and gratitude and then a few days later, C texted me from CA.
"How's it going?" I inquired which has recently become shorthand for "How's life in the strange, stressful land of baby-making?" (Or Turkey-baster-ville as we're inclined to refer to it with our lesbian friends).
She texted that they had decided to take a break from "trying".
"oh..." I replied.
"It was just a little too sad."
Yup. That wasn't just a text to me. Ugh. The memory of that place is not so far away. It came flushing back like a big wave. Reading that message on my iPhone, I FELT that sadness. It brought all my (current, unfocused, and practically unexplainable) sadness to a sharp point and in solidarity, I wanted to jab that point into my forearm.
Oh, that place of ache- Where you finally put out into the universe what you really WANT and it is not something small or material, but something tremendous and life altering. And you do it in humility with an understanding that you don't always get what you want; but you do it intentionally and you try to be patient in that place of uncertainty and vulnerability... And when it doesn't work, when the pee stick comes up negative month after month, at first it catches like a hangnail on your psyche, and then it starts to feel like something life-threatening. And you don't know why it hurts that much because you look around and your life is pretty damn good. It's confusing to feel such gratitude and such grief at the same time.
The very same hour I received the text from C, I heard this story on NPR. And I just couldn't believe the timing. I had a little epiphany, and got a little closer to understanding it.
I think the reason it hurts so much is because your kids are out there, and you're worried about them even if you haven't met them yet... You can feel these little spirits out there- the ones that are to be your children. You feel their breath on your neck sometimes, even before they exist. You feel it so real it cannot be mere imagination. And you want to trust what you've been told (what you generally believe) that everything happens for a reason... all in good time, etc... but still, ask any parent... being away from your kids is really quite devastating.
And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don'tOne of my best friends from childhood, A, is in the last heat of the parenting Olympic trials. The event is a new one called: "You think you've had a bad year? You should see the shit I've been dealing with for the last 12 months!!!" If you turn on the news on any particular day you realize that she's probably not even in medal contention, because there is no limit to the amount of heartbreak in the world. But last May, her oldest son was convicted of a serious crime. After sitting through a trial during which the police involved contradicted their own testimony and perjured themselves, and the "victim" denied the original accusation on the witness stand, she started to believe that everything was going to be okay. And then had to listen to the jury return a guilty verdict that was beyond the understanding of most of the legal experts in the room. Her son has been in a maximum security state prison since he was sentenced and though it's been nearly a year, there is no word on when the appeal will be scheduled.
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my rope
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope
It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat
Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me
The physical, psychological, and societal separation from her full-grown (but-still-her-baby) son has been shocking. Yet, as she walks around, people can't even perceive the sadness she has endured. She's one of the strongest, most loving, generous, resourceful, lacking in self-pity, and rational people I've ever known. In the mean time, her 18 year old (second) son has told her she will become a grandmother in a few months. Not a tragedy by any stretch- but still- could we just possibly have dealt with one thing at a time. Speaking to her on the phone, I'm all like, "Don't buy one, single baby thing without checking with me first b/c we are about to unload everything you need from crib to boppy and I even have a whole bunch of stuff you'll probably wish you never heard of..."
I try to talk to her about what she needs, if there is anything I can do. But mostly what I want to ask her is, "How is your heart? Is there anything I can do "mother-to-mother" to help plug up any of the holes in your armor that might leave you exposed and vulnerable?" She tells me nonchalantly that this has taken it's toll on her relationship with her husband. And more pressing, he is finally working on treating his addictions. My heart sinks. Not really surprised at this news, that this has been happening in the background too. I just want to shake a fist at the furies and say, "GIVE HER A BREAK"!!!
"I don't know how you're holding it all together," I tell her.
"As if I have a choice" she says. And then she puts it out there and wraps the truth around both of us: There is nothing that matters as much as these things. This year of razor sharp heartbreak somehow brings with it validity and redemption. Sorrow to better enjoy the sweetness of life. There is no choice but to experience sorrow in life, but if there were, it might not be the best idea to opt out of it.
I do understands what she means. If you've never spent a day clawing out of a cave, or stroking a hand in a hospital room, or anxiously waiting outside of an ICU or a courtroom, it's hard not to pity your innocence. Blessedly rare are those individuals that are able to look upon and recognize actual happiness without the focusing lens of sorrow and heartbreak.
All I can say, to our friends C and L (struggling in Turkey-baster-ville) is, "I know. I'm sorry. Hang in there." I want to leave it at that because in my experience, when you are trying to get pregnant, people offer way too-fucking-much in the way of opinions and advice. But since no one has ever accused me of talking too little (why use 5 words when you can write 2500?) I'll add an encouraging, empathetic, tender-hearted:
"Get used to it".
Barely relying on metaphor, this is the start of parenthood. That negative pee stick, and all the things that will happen before and after you and your children are reunited it's like boot camp for your hearts; for the endurance marathon that follows. Stretch and pull and run, and use ice and heat intermittently to soothe your aches, and start to believe that you can do it, because you can... (but believing that you can is really half the battle).
It's already started, you don't even really have a choice in the matter.
It's both a long wait and a heavy weight.
But you can do it.
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa
Friday, August 19, 2011
I'm not going to have to join Tumblr now, am I?!?
I don't really know WTF Tumblr is except it is a different platform for posting info...
Sort of like a cross between Blogger and Twitter, but I came across this and it made me cry... I read it several times and several times I just couldn't help but squeeze out a few tears.
Go Ahead, I dare you not to weep a little at the obviousness of these parental instincts and the "Well sure- it is about time" rarity of something written so simply, so honestly...
[CLICK ON ABOVE] to visit the page...
A few additional thoughts...
1) This is what is good about the Internet- there are so many options for creation and beauty. You can't focus on the debauchery without acknowledging the space (enormous space) that exists as it never has before to CREATE...
2) This was this mom's FIRST Tumblr posting. She likely told a few friends and within 2 days 37,500 people had commented on the post (that does not include the heaven-knows-how-many of us read it without comment)
3) This type of "going viral" is sort of appealing to me... it's like a "gold rush" for the "twenty-tens". You never know what shit is going to take off.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
I HEART NY
After about 2 years of ballyhoo and political drama, the NY state senate voted in favor of marriage equality. The house had already passed it and the governor has been pushing for the legislation. Cue fireworks.
Just in time for NY pride (Saturday) and the 42nd anniversary of the Stonewall riots (Monday).
For a state that most of the nation regards as mindless in it's progressive flaunting of liberal ideology... There were a lot of people dead set against letting this pass. When you think of NY, you think, "If gays can't marry there... where they hell CAN they get married?!?" But it has been years that this statute has been un-passable and 5 other states plus the District of Columbia beat NY to the punch.
The thing is, NY is the 3rd most populous state in the union. This is a big deal in terms of access to marriage protections for same sex couples.
Inspired by this hilarious nonsense, I created the following graphs to highlight for GSO readers, the trend in the US related to marriage equality and also the numerical significance of this law passing in NY.
In basically 10 years, we went from ZERO access to marriage equality or civil unions to SOME access...
There are over 307,000,000 currently living in the United States. Yesterday, roughly 5 percent of them lived in states that had equal access to marriage for gays and lesbians.
Today, more than 11% of the country's population lives in states that have marriage equality!!!
ONE MORE:
Just in time for NY pride (Saturday) and the 42nd anniversary of the Stonewall riots (Monday).
For a state that most of the nation regards as mindless in it's progressive flaunting of liberal ideology... There were a lot of people dead set against letting this pass. When you think of NY, you think, "If gays can't marry there... where they hell CAN they get married?!?" But it has been years that this statute has been un-passable and 5 other states plus the District of Columbia beat NY to the punch.
The thing is, NY is the 3rd most populous state in the union. This is a big deal in terms of access to marriage protections for same sex couples.
Inspired by this hilarious nonsense, I created the following graphs to highlight for GSO readers, the trend in the US related to marriage equality and also the numerical significance of this law passing in NY.
In basically 10 years, we went from ZERO access to marriage equality or civil unions to SOME access...
There are over 307,000,000 currently living in the United States. Yesterday, roughly 5 percent of them lived in states that had equal access to marriage for gays and lesbians.
Today, more than 11% of the country's population lives in states that have marriage equality!!!
ONE MORE:
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Come out, come out, wherever you are... Part 2
On St. Patrick's day this year, I was in Texas.
I've talked about how the political climate struck me as a tad bit suffocating in Part 1.
I was having a good time and it is quite lovely on the San Antonio river.
Missing my boys and my sweetie, I still wasn't going to ignore the fact that it was ST. PATRICK'S DAY. And on most years that goes by fairly UN-celebrated by me (due to familial and work obligations, not because I don't want to get all sloppy on green beer and Irish car bombs.)
There was that one time when my sister and I took the day off to spend it in a bar in South-ie...
and we drank all day until everyone in that place seemed like a pal...
But usually it's a toss up: "sleep... Green beer? Sleep... drunk girls in a too crowded bar, spilling green beer everywhere?? Sleep... spending too much money on bad Irish food and over priced car bombs???"
I know... I'm lame. I usually chose the sleep. Especially since the kids were born and wrecked my ability to sleep off green beer.
Anyway, this year, I was away from home, getting plenty of sleep, only responsible for myself. I had intended to round up some nurses or others from the conference to go rouse a little rabble.
It didn't work out. The 2nd day of the conference ended weird with some opting to go visit a site and others rushing away early and I was somewhere in between, ending for the day far too early for dinner. I went back to my room. Had an ichat with my family and then decided to head out on my own.
Going out to a bar on your own is strange, especially when you don't have any sexual favors to barter with or center banter around. It's not my game, but I think I understand why there are those people that travel a lot for work who make up an alias... It can only get you into trouble, but it's just so that you can go out and "hunt" for a dining companion, right? Anyway... I found a bar Durty Nelly's
This place was all set for the night; the piano-man was in the center of it all, singing ditties and limericks and keeping everyone entertained:
I sat for about 10 more minutes, my blood feeling like mercury rising as it measured my increased discomfort. Then in walked two couples looking for seating. They seemed disoriented like when you step from the sunlight into a darkened room and can't quite find your bearings. After I watched them twirl around a few times scouting for unavailable seats, I motioned that they might want to pull some chairs around the small table next to me.
Shuffling.
Confusion...
I got up and quickly corralled 2 extra chairs, pointing to a 3rd in a far off corner. They were happy and silly and it calmed me. We introduced ourselves and ordered up a few more drinks. The "Hi"s and "Where are you from?"s and "What brings you to San Antonio?"s lasted 10-20 mins. They had a few stories of this long trip they had taken to the western edge of Texas, and being social with them was as easy as stirring up a pitcher of iced tea in the summer.
We weren't too far into it when Mary asked about my kids (I showed pictures) and if they were okay with their mom so far from home...
I paused. I admit it, it is not how I roll usually- hesitating to bring up my wife- but this Texas place is strange. People down there seem to have a special way of not expecting the obvious (or what might be obvious to me...)
I smiled. Giving her the most reassuring and genuinely friendly vibe I could muster:
"Well, they have two moms, so they are doing okay..."
"What's that?!?" Mary asked blinking.
"I'm married to a woman, and our boys have two moms, so they are in very good hands when I'm away."
Two blue eyes stop blinking and fly open - wide as saucers.
SRSLY.
She literally brings her hand to cover her mouth which is now gaping open.
I can't even formulate the mental "oops" because her reaction is so extreme, so cartoonish that I am actually giggling.
I wait. There's not much more for me to say, so I let her get a grip of herself and recover from the (apparent) shock.
The other members of her group are not really aware of what is going on... They are eating peanuts, looking around... the music is loud and they have missed the meat of our conversation. I don't think they have noticed her surprised expression.
She lets her hand fall to her lap and her mouth is still open when she forms the words, pausing dramatically between each one. Searching carefully for each syllable, it's as if she is inventing language from scratch. She leans towards me.
"Are..."
It is too loud in here for a whisper to be audible. Though she is shouting, her eyes focus and her posture grows conspiratory in nature.
"You..."
She glances left and then right.
"A..."
I can barely handle it. Is this for real? Is she going to have a stroke???
She squeals the final word: "Democrat?!?"
I about lose my shit. I expected LESBIAN not DEMOCRAT. I nod enthusiastically as I laugh and smile hard at her. (Unlike being gay, being a Democrat is NOT illegal in any state.) But I am wondering, will this be the thing that prompts her to overturn the tiny table between us??? I just can't figure out what is going on... What is about to happen?!?
"Yes," I tell her again as she continues to stare at me blankly.
Then it explodes:
"I AM A DEMOCRAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
(yes, that many exclamation points)
And a round of hoots and howls and giggles.
She is speaking wildly now- dozens of words a second- it is even more cartoonish than before- Now I freaking love her!!! And yet I'm struck with instant empathy. Here is a woman, deep in the heart of TEXAS, who is so isolated in her liberal politics that an Irish (1/4 Irish-mutt) lesbian from the North-East who shows up at a bar on St. Patrick's day is her best shot of MAYBE...
NOT DEFINITELY... BUT MAYBE...
Meeting a fellow Democrat.
You know what this means, right??? In Texas (And Mary has lived there all her life and presumably been out there looking for others) you more likely to run across an OUT homosexual than an OUT democrat...
I don't believe they aren't there, it's just that they have to hide in the closet!!!
Holy shit.
I about pee'd my pants at that bar... The night didn't end until we had shared a few too many drinks and Mary dialed up her 18 (? I forget his exact age) year old son for me to have a chat with via cell phone. (I have no idea what that was about either, but he was just as sweet as he could be and didn't seem the least bit surprised- It clearly happens to him all the time.)
Though none of her other companions indicated to me that they were also democrats, they seemed pleased as punch that Mary had located another one of us in this quaint section of the world.
I say again, "Holy shit." Can you imagine if I hadn't come out to this poor lady??? She would have spent the entire night assuming I voted for George W. Bush and sent money to Sarah Palin's PAC on a monthly basis?!?
You have no idea how profoundly this effected me. Let's just say, there are people all over the world, that need to know they are not in this alone!
;)
I've talked about how the political climate struck me as a tad bit suffocating in Part 1.
I was having a good time and it is quite lovely on the San Antonio river.
Missing my boys and my sweetie, I still wasn't going to ignore the fact that it was ST. PATRICK'S DAY. And on most years that goes by fairly UN-celebrated by me (due to familial and work obligations, not because I don't want to get all sloppy on green beer and Irish car bombs.)
There was that one time when my sister and I took the day off to spend it in a bar in South-ie...
and we drank all day until everyone in that place seemed like a pal...
But usually it's a toss up: "sleep... Green beer? Sleep... drunk girls in a too crowded bar, spilling green beer everywhere?? Sleep... spending too much money on bad Irish food and over priced car bombs???"
I know... I'm lame. I usually chose the sleep. Especially since the kids were born and wrecked my ability to sleep off green beer.
Anyway, this year, I was away from home, getting plenty of sleep, only responsible for myself. I had intended to round up some nurses or others from the conference to go rouse a little rabble.
It didn't work out. The 2nd day of the conference ended weird with some opting to go visit a site and others rushing away early and I was somewhere in between, ending for the day far too early for dinner. I went back to my room. Had an ichat with my family and then decided to head out on my own.
Going out to a bar on your own is strange, especially when you don't have any sexual favors to barter with or center banter around. It's not my game, but I think I understand why there are those people that travel a lot for work who make up an alias... It can only get you into trouble, but it's just so that you can go out and "hunt" for a dining companion, right? Anyway... I found a bar Durty Nelly's
This place was all set for the night; the piano-man was in the center of it all, singing ditties and limericks and keeping everyone entertained:
I sat for about 10 more minutes, my blood feeling like mercury rising as it measured my increased discomfort. Then in walked two couples looking for seating. They seemed disoriented like when you step from the sunlight into a darkened room and can't quite find your bearings. After I watched them twirl around a few times scouting for unavailable seats, I motioned that they might want to pull some chairs around the small table next to me.
Shuffling.
Confusion...
I got up and quickly corralled 2 extra chairs, pointing to a 3rd in a far off corner. They were happy and silly and it calmed me. We introduced ourselves and ordered up a few more drinks. The "Hi"s and "Where are you from?"s and "What brings you to San Antonio?"s lasted 10-20 mins. They had a few stories of this long trip they had taken to the western edge of Texas, and being social with them was as easy as stirring up a pitcher of iced tea in the summer.
We weren't too far into it when Mary asked about my kids (I showed pictures) and if they were okay with their mom so far from home...
I paused. I admit it, it is not how I roll usually- hesitating to bring up my wife- but this Texas place is strange. People down there seem to have a special way of not expecting the obvious (or what might be obvious to me...)
I smiled. Giving her the most reassuring and genuinely friendly vibe I could muster:
"Well, they have two moms, so they are doing okay..."
"What's that?!?" Mary asked blinking.
"I'm married to a woman, and our boys have two moms, so they are in very good hands when I'm away."
Two blue eyes stop blinking and fly open - wide as saucers.
SRSLY.
She literally brings her hand to cover her mouth which is now gaping open.
I can't even formulate the mental "oops" because her reaction is so extreme, so cartoonish that I am actually giggling.
I wait. There's not much more for me to say, so I let her get a grip of herself and recover from the (apparent) shock.
The other members of her group are not really aware of what is going on... They are eating peanuts, looking around... the music is loud and they have missed the meat of our conversation. I don't think they have noticed her surprised expression.
She lets her hand fall to her lap and her mouth is still open when she forms the words, pausing dramatically between each one. Searching carefully for each syllable, it's as if she is inventing language from scratch. She leans towards me.
"Are..."
It is too loud in here for a whisper to be audible. Though she is shouting, her eyes focus and her posture grows conspiratory in nature.
"You..."
She glances left and then right.
"A..."
I can barely handle it. Is this for real? Is she going to have a stroke???
She squeals the final word: "Democrat?!?"
I about lose my shit. I expected LESBIAN not DEMOCRAT. I nod enthusiastically as I laugh and smile hard at her. (Unlike being gay, being a Democrat is NOT illegal in any state.) But I am wondering, will this be the thing that prompts her to overturn the tiny table between us??? I just can't figure out what is going on... What is about to happen?!?
"Yes," I tell her again as she continues to stare at me blankly.
Then it explodes:
"I AM A DEMOCRAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
(yes, that many exclamation points)
And a round of hoots and howls and giggles.
She is speaking wildly now- dozens of words a second- it is even more cartoonish than before- Now I freaking love her!!! And yet I'm struck with instant empathy. Here is a woman, deep in the heart of TEXAS, who is so isolated in her liberal politics that an Irish (1/4 Irish-mutt) lesbian from the North-East who shows up at a bar on St. Patrick's day is her best shot of MAYBE...
NOT DEFINITELY... BUT MAYBE...
Meeting a fellow Democrat.
You know what this means, right??? In Texas (And Mary has lived there all her life and presumably been out there looking for others) you more likely to run across an OUT homosexual than an OUT democrat...
I don't believe they aren't there, it's just that they have to hide in the closet!!!
Holy shit.
I about pee'd my pants at that bar... The night didn't end until we had shared a few too many drinks and Mary dialed up her 18 (? I forget his exact age) year old son for me to have a chat with via cell phone. (I have no idea what that was about either, but he was just as sweet as he could be and didn't seem the least bit surprised- It clearly happens to him all the time.)
Though none of her other companions indicated to me that they were also democrats, they seemed pleased as punch that Mary had located another one of us in this quaint section of the world.
I say again, "Holy shit." Can you imagine if I hadn't come out to this poor lady??? She would have spent the entire night assuming I voted for George W. Bush and sent money to Sarah Palin's PAC on a monthly basis?!?
You have no idea how profoundly this effected me. Let's just say, there are people all over the world, that need to know they are not in this alone!
;)
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Tonight I'm gonna try something new...
Tonight, I'm gonna go to bed early and wake up early tomorrow morning...
That will be new.
This week, I have been staying up waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too late.
I am really swamped at work and overwhelmed and coming home and working more- late into the night from the lap top. I've been neglecting my blog, and I have a lot to say.
This weekend, I am going to get back on it, but until then, a few visuals:
1) The boys seem to us to be getting so big... Every day, we look at them and think, "You are so long, you have grown so!" But look at them here, they look so teeny-tiny:
2) JB has never met a meatball he doesn't like, but a sandwich lover he is NOT. This breaks my heart a little. I love a sandwich like Joey from Friends. It doesn't matter what I'm eating, I prefer it smooched between 2 pieces of bread. Every time he refuses a sandwich, or pulls the meat off of bread, I feel a little betrayed. This here was one of my proudest moments as a parent:
I know he looks confused and/or miserable, but he really enjoyed it, trust me...
(This is partially, but not completely "wishful thinking".)
3) ML looking happy, refusing dinner per his usual, daily routine:
4) Another great "it gets better video" from the You Tube channel started by Dan Savage... These are apple employees (hat tip, Adam):
That will be new.
This week, I have been staying up waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too late.
I am really swamped at work and overwhelmed and coming home and working more- late into the night from the lap top. I've been neglecting my blog, and I have a lot to say.
This weekend, I am going to get back on it, but until then, a few visuals:
1) The boys seem to us to be getting so big... Every day, we look at them and think, "You are so long, you have grown so!" But look at them here, they look so teeny-tiny:
2) JB has never met a meatball he doesn't like, but a sandwich lover he is NOT. This breaks my heart a little. I love a sandwich like Joey from Friends. It doesn't matter what I'm eating, I prefer it smooched between 2 pieces of bread. Every time he refuses a sandwich, or pulls the meat off of bread, I feel a little betrayed. This here was one of my proudest moments as a parent:
I know he looks confused and/or miserable, but he really enjoyed it, trust me...
(This is partially, but not completely "wishful thinking".)
3) ML looking happy, refusing dinner per his usual, daily routine:
4) Another great "it gets better video" from the You Tube channel started by Dan Savage... These are apple employees (hat tip, Adam):
Thursday, January 27, 2011
You catch your breath and winter starts again...
Since I last wrote, our family has been through the ringer a little bit.
Tuesday night, I couldn't wait to watch the State of the Union Address (SOTU). I am a little bit of a political junkie and the SOTU is like the Superbowl to me (especially with a Dem in the White house). I even had this "live blogging" idea going where instead of driving Katy absolutely nutty by exposing her to my internal dialogue, I would write it to the blog in real time.
But something was up with ML- he was breathing too fast and audibly wheezing, and had hurled the contents of his stomach all over 2 different rooms after the hot steam shower I gave him. Katy and I were both already exhausted from commuting to and from work in the winter weather and 4 separate full body clean ups on 2 children. Katy announced, "I think I have to go to bed," and I replied, "I think I do too." Then my wife passed out from the shock of seeing me wave a white flag in the face of exhaustion. When she came to, we headed upstairs and our little boy woke up not but a few minutes later pretty uncomfortable. He seemed a little warm, but it was definitely his breathing that was freaking us out. We put it off and put it off b/c who wants to bring their 16 month old out into the cold night to get him checked out at the ER? We could have headed there at 8 or 9pm, but by 11:30 pm, we couldn't deny that he was breathing too fast, retracting, wheezing, not able to sleep, and it was getting worse. I called my mom to come sit with JB and we packed the little hyperventilator up.
There is an ER 10 minutes away that I would take myself to in a heartbeat, but it is not a children's hospital, to get there means a 3o minute drive. It is tempting, but I know I will never (if it is in my power) take a kid of mine to a hospital that is not a children's hospital. We were triaged in minutes and then given a number to wait - which is surprisingly reassuring when you have a sick baby. We were taken into a room within 15 to 20 minutes, and were there about 2 hours. They gave him some respiratory treatments which made him all jittery and tachycardic, but pretty much stopped the wheezing. They suctioned him, which did nothing but hurt his moms and piss him off. They said: "Probably RSV," and "Bronchiolits" and sent him home on albuterol.
We got home at about 3am. My dad had come by on his way home from work to keep my mom company and was shoveling our driveway when we pulled in. My eyes were rolling in my head by then, but we all slept only a few hours before Katy had to get up and go to work. I got JB off to school- walked him to the door with ML bundled in my arms and shouted a goodbye without actually crossing the threshold of the day care- not wanted to spread germs. Then I spent the day trying to console a very unhappy boy.
ML is not what we call a snuggle-bug. That is not to say he isn't sweet. He is a sweetie. But he won't sit in your lap for more than a few seconds. One of his favorite games is begging to get up on your lap and then wiggling right off again ad infinitum. But these last 2 days, he would just sit on your lap and/or rest his head on your shoulder, breathing at a rate of 39-48 breaths a minute. (Which, trust me, is alarmingly fast). He was lethargic and only a little interested in food, drink, or sleep. He just wanted to sit, stare ahead, and breathe. It was pathetic and scary. At some point in the day, I was too tired to stay awake with him, so I put him in bed with me and we both slept on and off for a few hours... It was decidedly un-ML-behavior... that he was just content to lay there and play with my hands or hair when he wasn't sleeping.
Last night, he was also restless and feverish, as high as 102.5. But this am, he was better and wanting to run around a little again. I fought the elements to get to work, and Katy took a snow day/sick kid day to be home. She got him to the doctor who checked to be sure there was no obvious infection that the ER might have missed. He screamed and cried b/c now he really hates medical personnel...
This has been a long week. But one that has made me feel grateful in this exhaustion.
We have broken the record for the most snowfall in one month - I can't find the exact number, but I think it is 54". And guess what, there is more snow headed here this weekend. Frankly, I've been loving it. I really have. And the more people complain about it... that just makes me love it more. But today... so tired... so spent from worrying and caring for the boy and you look out the window and calling it 12" is conservative. I was not looking forward to the battle of the driveway.
And then the neighbor, Tom, comes over with his snow blower...
What's a 4-letter word for a neighbor that comes over at 8am with a snow blower???
H-E-R-O
SRSLY- that guy has no idea how much we needed that.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Updates from the home front...
1) Katy got home yesterday! Hooray!!! We missed her but she had a wonderful weekend with her peeps and I had some nice alone time with he boys... I felt good about the weekend. We ate well, and spent nice time with cousins. I showered ALL THREE mornings, and even got to shave ONE leg in the shower. Katy asked me, "What made you TRY to shave in the shower?!?" I told her I wanted to stay pretty for me and also, I like a challenge...
2) JB saw his first movie at a movie theater Sunday with his TT, Uncle Bill, cousins, and me. We saw "Tangled". I loved it. The girl cousins were literally vibrating in their seats in excitement. JB thought the whole thing was a little tired. He was absolutely ambivalent. When Mac called him on Saturday to invite him for Sunday, he (without really even knowing what it meant to "go to a movie," without asking any clarifying questions, and without a pause or any genuine consideration) replied, "No, thanks." He used a tone reserved for someone who is totally satisfied and who is invited to eat one more piece of chocolate- No thanks, I'm good. After we talked about what going to a movie was all about (including details of the treats involved- popcorn, candy, etc) he agreed to go and I advised him he better check to see if the invitation still stood.
The movie was sweet and entertaining, but as all Disney cartoon features, it was fairly adult themed and angst-y. JB feels a lot of feelings and did not like the darkness or the sadness that he sensed. The character of Rapunzel's "adopted" mother was played by Donna Murphy with lines that adults could laugh at- full of understated narcissism and self-esteem crushing abusiveness toward Rapunzel. JB couldn't name what that was, but he was uncomfortable with the introduction of her as a "mother". There were also tons of chasing and fighting scenes and a great deal of stated and perceived "sadness" related to the "missing princess". None of that was lost on JB. He sat with a consternated, furrowed brow for most of the movie and he asked 1/2 way through, "When is this over?"
I pointed him toward the antics of the hero horse, Maximus, and told him how great I thought the music was and we lasted until the end. But when I said, "We should bring Mama back to see this movie, I think she would like it." He replied, "No thanks" in that same, "I'm good" tone.
3) The town pool collapsed a little over two Saturdays ago. ML and I had just began our "Mommy and me" lessons and he seemed to really enjoy it. (As did I.) There has been a lot of drama about this town pool and constant complaints and outcries from people about the failures on many levels. They tried to make it an Indoor and and Outdoor pool with some kind of bubble/ retractable roof... a good idea in theory!
But, this is what the pool looked like the day of our first lesson (I was so excited that I snapped a picture on my phone):
And this is what it looks like now:
But that doesn't mean we still aren't worried about her health. I for one nearly pee'd my pants when I saw her on the sled... I was on top of the hill and was like, "WHAT?!? WHO PUT GRAM ON A SLED?!?" She came over dressed for it and had every intention of sledding; without any prompting at all, she put herself on that sled! I was absolutely dying for the 20-40 seconds she was sliding down, but when the sled stopped, (and she hadn't slammed her body into the side of the foundation or broken any bones) I was so thrilled and proud!!! She rocks!
5) One of the more glorious aspects of this winter has been the amazing and spacious 2 car garage that came with our house. There is nothing like pulling out into winter weather with a clean car... the awesomeness is dampened a little by the recent breaking of BOTH of our garage door openers... you win some, you lose some I always say. But thanks to facebook, I've got a friend that "knows a guy", so hopefully, we should be able to fix the situation soon!
2) JB saw his first movie at a movie theater Sunday with his TT, Uncle Bill, cousins, and me. We saw "Tangled". I loved it. The girl cousins were literally vibrating in their seats in excitement. JB thought the whole thing was a little tired. He was absolutely ambivalent. When Mac called him on Saturday to invite him for Sunday, he (without really even knowing what it meant to "go to a movie," without asking any clarifying questions, and without a pause or any genuine consideration) replied, "No, thanks." He used a tone reserved for someone who is totally satisfied and who is invited to eat one more piece of chocolate- No thanks, I'm good. After we talked about what going to a movie was all about (including details of the treats involved- popcorn, candy, etc) he agreed to go and I advised him he better check to see if the invitation still stood.
The movie was sweet and entertaining, but as all Disney cartoon features, it was fairly adult themed and angst-y. JB feels a lot of feelings and did not like the darkness or the sadness that he sensed. The character of Rapunzel's "adopted" mother was played by Donna Murphy with lines that adults could laugh at- full of understated narcissism and self-esteem crushing abusiveness toward Rapunzel. JB couldn't name what that was, but he was uncomfortable with the introduction of her as a "mother". There were also tons of chasing and fighting scenes and a great deal of stated and perceived "sadness" related to the "missing princess". None of that was lost on JB. He sat with a consternated, furrowed brow for most of the movie and he asked 1/2 way through, "When is this over?"
I pointed him toward the antics of the hero horse, Maximus, and told him how great I thought the music was and we lasted until the end. But when I said, "We should bring Mama back to see this movie, I think she would like it." He replied, "No thanks" in that same, "I'm good" tone.
3) The town pool collapsed a little over two Saturdays ago. ML and I had just began our "Mommy and me" lessons and he seemed to really enjoy it. (As did I.) There has been a lot of drama about this town pool and constant complaints and outcries from people about the failures on many levels. They tried to make it an Indoor and and Outdoor pool with some kind of bubble/ retractable roof... a good idea in theory!
But, this is what the pool looked like the day of our first lesson (I was so excited that I snapped a picture on my phone):
And this is what it looks like now:
I mean, yeah... thank God no one was in there when it happened, right?!?
There is a lot of outrage in the town about it. I really do feel bad for the planners and decision makers. Obviously there wasn't the support to spend the money that they needed to spend for a durable and effective retractable roof. I guess they should have just built an indoor pool, but someone obviously thought it would be good to have a town pool that people could join in the summer.
We've had a championship level swim team in this town since I was a kid and there still isn't the support of the tax payers to give these kids a pool of their own. They have always been at the Y or at the Academy, or borrowing space at other town's pools. It is just too bad. The word on the street is now they have to heat the pool to some degree for the rest of the winter to keep everything from freezing and getting completely damaged. Crazy.
But that doesn't mean we still aren't worried about her health. I for one nearly pee'd my pants when I saw her on the sled... I was on top of the hill and was like, "WHAT?!? WHO PUT GRAM ON A SLED?!?" She came over dressed for it and had every intention of sledding; without any prompting at all, she put herself on that sled! I was absolutely dying for the 20-40 seconds she was sliding down, but when the sled stopped, (and she hadn't slammed her body into the side of the foundation or broken any bones) I was so thrilled and proud!!! She rocks!
5) One of the more glorious aspects of this winter has been the amazing and spacious 2 car garage that came with our house. There is nothing like pulling out into winter weather with a clean car... the awesomeness is dampened a little by the recent breaking of BOTH of our garage door openers... you win some, you lose some I always say. But thanks to facebook, I've got a friend that "knows a guy", so hopefully, we should be able to fix the situation soon!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Seems like we're finally moving to Midpoint!
We made and offer on "Blue Steel" on the cul de sac.
It was countered a few thousand over what we offered.
We accepted last night!
Then we celebrated with a meal of grilled tuna and chicken, homemade mango salsa, and tomato and Mozzarella salad with Anne and Pat who made a surprise stop on their way through New England.
The day started at our friend's Jaime and Dan LEGAL wedding (now that I'm a mom, something chemical has happened, I cry at all weddings, but I seem to get especially emotional at gay weddings and during "mother/son dances".) There was a lo-key backyard reception where I got to wear shorts and a t-shirt and eat amazing Mexican food AND tie on a mid-day beer buzz.
Yesterday was a terrific day!
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Some more gays got it
After today, there are 4 states in the union where same sex couples can get legally married. To be clear, same sex couples are getting married in every state of the union, but it is only legally recognized in 4 states: MA, CT, IA, and VT.
Last Friday, the Supreme court in Iowa ruled that limiting marriage to heterosexuals was unconstitutional.
Today, both houses of the Vermont legislature summonsed the 2/3rds majority required to override Republican Governor, Jim Douglas' veto of the bill yesterday. Vermont was the first state to enact civil unions 9 years ago, but the 4th state to provide actual "marriage."
Neither Iowa or Vermont has a residency requirement. Meaning that, anyone can go for the day and get married. They take that piece of paper back to their home state and for the vast majority of gay Americans, their new marriage certificate becomes as valid as a 50% off coupon that expired in December of 2008...
Also today, DC voted unanimously to recognize any marriage (including same sex marriages) performed in another state. Unlike the district, however, the federal government does NOT recognize same sex marriages. So all federal rights and protections for married couples including medical benefits, social security, retirement benefits, etc DO NOT APPLY TO same sex marriages... So much for leaving it up to the states.
This week has been a very good week for gay rights. Not only because of the above mentioned strides, but also because of the relative quiet that has surrounded all of these major changes. But still, look at the map which shows where our family is and is not treated equally under the law:
Last Friday, the Supreme court in Iowa ruled that limiting marriage to heterosexuals was unconstitutional.
Today, both houses of the Vermont legislature summonsed the 2/3rds majority required to override Republican Governor, Jim Douglas' veto of the bill yesterday. Vermont was the first state to enact civil unions 9 years ago, but the 4th state to provide actual "marriage."
Neither Iowa or Vermont has a residency requirement. Meaning that, anyone can go for the day and get married. They take that piece of paper back to their home state and for the vast majority of gay Americans, their new marriage certificate becomes as valid as a 50% off coupon that expired in December of 2008...
Also today, DC voted unanimously to recognize any marriage (including same sex marriages) performed in another state. Unlike the district, however, the federal government does NOT recognize same sex marriages. So all federal rights and protections for married couples including medical benefits, social security, retirement benefits, etc DO NOT APPLY TO same sex marriages... So much for leaving it up to the states.
This week has been a very good week for gay rights. Not only because of the above mentioned strides, but also because of the relative quiet that has surrounded all of these major changes. But still, look at the map which shows where our family is and is not treated equally under the law:
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Cutest Prop 8 add I've seen
FYI:
California: Prop 8, the right answer is NO
Florida: Prop 2, the right answer is NO
Connecticut: Question 1, the right answer is NO
All of these ballot initiatives are proposals to take away the rights of same sex couples. By voting no, you are voting to support the rights of "thuh gays."
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Plotting to leave the neighborhood
We put our house on the market.
There are a lot of really exciting things about that and a few really sad things. Our friends here in Town-that-thinks-it's-a-city are some of our closest. It is ironic that we are planning a move back to the town that I grew up in, but my oldest, closest friend lives right here in Town-that-thinks-it's-a-city. There is considerably more "diversity" and "culture" here that we are leaving behind (aka- gays and yummy restaurants). But the decision was based mainly on a daily work commute that has become unacceptable to both of the adults in our house. "Decreasing our carbon footprint" has entered into the discussion as has the conversion of some of that wasted time on the highway into some semblance of a daily cardiovascular workout.
Now that the decision has been made, I am less anguished (less afraid it might be a wrong decision) and more EX-cited about the actual moving (I love moving!) and also the end result (less driving everyday).
Our lawn obsessed, (formerly) nicotine-addicted neighbors asked us a six weeks ago if we minded if they mowed our lawn and power-washed our house. They posed the question to Katy who does more of the laundry and dishes than the yard maintenance type work around here. I'm sure I would have gotten offended, defensive, and huffily refused the unsolicited "favor". In the way of an explaination, you need to understand a few blue-collar fears were ingrained in me early on: 1) ownership is 9/10 of the law - if people encroach on your space, they are probably trying to take it and 2) Liability, liability, liability... if people get hurt on your property, they will leave you bankrupt and property-less.
But katy responded to the neighbor in a SarahPalin-esque non-blink:
"Knock yourself out," she told them.
Their rationale was as telling as the request: "We're putting our house on the market." Apparently, the small amounts of mildew on the siding on the back of our house (please recall, I powerwashed the thing myself a season ago when i was 8 months pregnant and prepping for kate-a-palooza) and our lawn (admittedly, I keep it about 1/2 inch longer than theirs as a rule) was at serious risk for decreasing the value of their property. (Comparison has been noted on this blog in the past.)
What surprised me even more than the announcement that they had bought a home in North Carolina and were moving, and then even more than the "If you can't keep a home (and a yard) as we do than we'll just keep it for you" self-enslavement, was the fact that they maintained the every-other day lawn service until this past week. I'm not exaggerating, it was at least every other day... our lawn never even approached a length that my conscience would allow me to burn gasoline to trim it.
Before you get all, "these people sound really reasonable," you should know they readily admitted to us that they have been calling the town on the neighbors across the street and they are "about to be fined" because the paint job on their home is unacceptable. I guess it is unintuitive (to me) obnoxiousness like this that keeps our property values in good standing, but I've never really thought about "telling" on someone to the town if their house makes them look like they are a little down on their luck. The cats and the inhabitants of that house (not to mention the gutters and paint job) have led to kt and I referring to that place as "the group home" since shortly after we moved in. But the truth is, I've always taken some silent comfort int he fact that because of the group home, there is no one that could point to my house and say, "Them!" Unless they were talking about how hot we are or the fact that we pretty much forget we are G.A.A. and kiss through a greeting in the driveway every morning and evening.
The good news: LO(F)NA neighbors sold their house after only 8 days on the market at about 30K more than we bought our place for. So, we feel confident as we approach the sale of the property that we won't lose money on our house.
There are a lot of really exciting things about that and a few really sad things. Our friends here in Town-that-thinks-it's-a-city are some of our closest. It is ironic that we are planning a move back to the town that I grew up in, but my oldest, closest friend lives right here in Town-that-thinks-it's-a-city. There is considerably more "diversity" and "culture" here that we are leaving behind (aka- gays and yummy restaurants). But the decision was based mainly on a daily work commute that has become unacceptable to both of the adults in our house. "Decreasing our carbon footprint" has entered into the discussion as has the conversion of some of that wasted time on the highway into some semblance of a daily cardiovascular workout.
Now that the decision has been made, I am less anguished (less afraid it might be a wrong decision) and more EX-cited about the actual moving (I love moving!) and also the end result (less driving everyday).
Our lawn obsessed, (formerly) nicotine-addicted neighbors asked us a six weeks ago if we minded if they mowed our lawn and power-washed our house. They posed the question to Katy who does more of the laundry and dishes than the yard maintenance type work around here. I'm sure I would have gotten offended, defensive, and huffily refused the unsolicited "favor". In the way of an explaination, you need to understand a few blue-collar fears were ingrained in me early on: 1) ownership is 9/10 of the law - if people encroach on your space, they are probably trying to take it and 2) Liability, liability, liability... if people get hurt on your property, they will leave you bankrupt and property-less.
But katy responded to the neighbor in a SarahPalin-esque non-blink:
"Knock yourself out," she told them.
Their rationale was as telling as the request: "We're putting our house on the market." Apparently, the small amounts of mildew on the siding on the back of our house (please recall, I powerwashed the thing myself a season ago when i was 8 months pregnant and prepping for kate-a-palooza) and our lawn (admittedly, I keep it about 1/2 inch longer than theirs as a rule) was at serious risk for decreasing the value of their property. (Comparison has been noted on this blog in the past.)
What surprised me even more than the announcement that they had bought a home in North Carolina and were moving, and then even more than the "If you can't keep a home (and a yard) as we do than we'll just keep it for you" self-enslavement, was the fact that they maintained the every-other day lawn service until this past week. I'm not exaggerating, it was at least every other day... our lawn never even approached a length that my conscience would allow me to burn gasoline to trim it.
Before you get all, "these people sound really reasonable," you should know they readily admitted to us that they have been calling the town on the neighbors across the street and they are "about to be fined" because the paint job on their home is unacceptable. I guess it is unintuitive (to me) obnoxiousness like this that keeps our property values in good standing, but I've never really thought about "telling" on someone to the town if their house makes them look like they are a little down on their luck. The cats and the inhabitants of that house (not to mention the gutters and paint job) have led to kt and I referring to that place as "the group home" since shortly after we moved in. But the truth is, I've always taken some silent comfort int he fact that because of the group home, there is no one that could point to my house and say, "Them!" Unless they were talking about how hot we are or the fact that we pretty much forget we are G.A.A. and kiss through a greeting in the driveway every morning and evening.
The good news: LO(F)NA neighbors sold their house after only 8 days on the market at about 30K more than we bought our place for. So, we feel confident as we approach the sale of the property that we won't lose money on our house.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Eggs-zosted
It's nearly 11pm and I am wiped out.
I haven't blogged in a bit because I've been reading a lot: Blogs, magazines, papers, and I've read 6 books since vacation. I know that doesn't sound like much, but I am a serious reader, often reading 3 or 4 books at a time and since the baby was born, i've found it difficult to focus or care about books... Don't get me wrong, I'm not reading anything too heavy, but it's all I can do to get my part of the family chores done, try to watch my bff, Rachel Maddow, during the first week of her new show, and "rush" back to a few pages of my book(s) before I fall asleep.
This week has been silly nuts.
Last weekend was a rain-out... 3 parties all canceled for hurricane residuals that never really arrived. Katy and I worked hard around the house, cleaning dresser drawers and organizing the attic; and we enjoyed the boy. He is very into hugging and laughing right now, when he is not biting, poking eyes, throwing food, yelling nonsensical words, and whining to get his (I'm-not-at-all-clear-whatthefuck-you-are trying-to-say) point across.
Tuesday brought a call from day care: "He's been screaming for an hour, tugging on his right ear, inconsolable, not at all like him..." Oh, that again?
Katy picked him up and brought him for an ear check. Yes, fluid. Yes bulging of the eardrum. But let's wait 48 hours and see what happens without antibiotics.
FINE with the mommies! We hate the 10 days of pink shit getting spit back out at us twice a day.
I brought JB back today and Dr. Filibuster (he's super friendly and kind but talks a lot) was happy we held off for now: Left ear much better. Right ear still with some fluid that seems to be getting a little more viscous, but improved from tuesday... blah, blah, blah.
You would never know that jb is "sick". There is no fever and only a slight decrease in his happy-dude-persona. Except there is the crying at night thing... For the last week or so, he's been waking a few times a night crying. Not waking and then crying, but just crying. Crying in his sleep, or crying so hard that he wakes himself. What is it? Pain? gas? teeth? ears? WHY THE HELL ARE YOU CRYING YOURSELF AWAKE TWICE A NIGHT?!?
Oh, sorry for the outburst, but I think these mid-night crying jags are contributing to the eggs-zosted-ness I am feeling.
A few more things that need more time than I am willing to put into them right now:
1) Sarah Palin - wtf?
2) We have decided to put our house on the market and move to Mid-point, town of my childhood. The decision making process went something like this:
March
K: If you are this stressed at your job, maybe you should look for a new one.
April
K: When are you going to start looking for a new job? I'm sick of all of this driving and you leaving the house at 7am never getting home before 6 or 7pm.
June
T: I can't decide if I hate my job or I hate the commute...
K: Why don't you change both?
July
T: I can't wait for vacation...
Last week
K: You need to quit your job and find one closer to home.
T: I'm not going to quit my job. It's a good job, I don't know what else I might want to do. I'm comfortable and have gained enough tenure and credibility to tinker with my schedule if I need-
K: Okay, then we are moving to Mid-point. This situation is no longer acceptable.
T: (thinking she means move maybe next spring) okay, sounds good.
Katy opens the hall closet and a realtor falls out, dropping the glass she had sandwiched between her ear and the door, and picking up a sign to plant in the front yard...
This is only a slight exaggeration. The house isn't listed, but my wife has made up her mind and our friends who are a mortgage broker and a realtor are involved. We have a little work to do this weekend on our house and we have already started looking at places to buy which is probably a mistake b/c it is not a great idea to risk "falling in love" with a place that might be gone before you can even place a bid (because your house is not even listed.) More on that as it develops...
3) Our yard-obsessed neighbors have been mowing our lawn for the last 4 weeks- ask me about it... The story is hilarity...
4) 15 minutes of fame- extended remix... Tonight we were interviewed by a crew that work for some Italian news show. I don't' know the name, but it is (allegedly) the "20/20 of Italy." They have a 15 minute segment about some aspect of American culture, and this week it's "the gays" and our marriage problems... They tracked us down after reading about us in the NYT. It was kind of different from the documentary. There were strangers in our house, big lights in our living room, extension cords running to various rooms, body mics, etc.
They were very nice and we think it went well... Will give more info when we have it.
5) Ellen and Portia. Since we are talking about marriage, I have a confession to make... Last night, (when maybe I should have been posting, or sleeping) I wrote an email to Ellen DeGeneres- thanking her for her humble, generous willingness to be out and open at various stages of her life. Unlike many celebrities, or celebrities, I believe this woman has done more to change the world and make "our people" safe and more accepted than any civil rights legislation could. I mean, look at this video:
Is there anything that seems as sweet and normal and healthy as these two getting hitched?
I love her! More, really, I admire her and feel indebted to her... She's used her fame as an opportunity to be honest and unapologetic, without taking herself too seriously.
I haven't blogged in a bit because I've been reading a lot: Blogs, magazines, papers, and I've read 6 books since vacation. I know that doesn't sound like much, but I am a serious reader, often reading 3 or 4 books at a time and since the baby was born, i've found it difficult to focus or care about books... Don't get me wrong, I'm not reading anything too heavy, but it's all I can do to get my part of the family chores done, try to watch my bff, Rachel Maddow, during the first week of her new show, and "rush" back to a few pages of my book(s) before I fall asleep.
This week has been silly nuts.
Last weekend was a rain-out... 3 parties all canceled for hurricane residuals that never really arrived. Katy and I worked hard around the house, cleaning dresser drawers and organizing the attic; and we enjoyed the boy. He is very into hugging and laughing right now, when he is not biting, poking eyes, throwing food, yelling nonsensical words, and whining to get his (I'm-not-at-all-clear-whatthefuck-you-are trying-to-say) point across.
Tuesday brought a call from day care: "He's been screaming for an hour, tugging on his right ear, inconsolable, not at all like him..." Oh, that again?
Katy picked him up and brought him for an ear check. Yes, fluid. Yes bulging of the eardrum. But let's wait 48 hours and see what happens without antibiotics.
FINE with the mommies! We hate the 10 days of pink shit getting spit back out at us twice a day.
I brought JB back today and Dr. Filibuster (he's super friendly and kind but talks a lot) was happy we held off for now: Left ear much better. Right ear still with some fluid that seems to be getting a little more viscous, but improved from tuesday... blah, blah, blah.
You would never know that jb is "sick". There is no fever and only a slight decrease in his happy-dude-persona. Except there is the crying at night thing... For the last week or so, he's been waking a few times a night crying. Not waking and then crying, but just crying. Crying in his sleep, or crying so hard that he wakes himself. What is it? Pain? gas? teeth? ears? WHY THE HELL ARE YOU CRYING YOURSELF AWAKE TWICE A NIGHT?!?
Oh, sorry for the outburst, but I think these mid-night crying jags are contributing to the eggs-zosted-ness I am feeling.
A few more things that need more time than I am willing to put into them right now:
1) Sarah Palin - wtf?
2) We have decided to put our house on the market and move to Mid-point, town of my childhood. The decision making process went something like this:
March
K: If you are this stressed at your job, maybe you should look for a new one.
April
K: When are you going to start looking for a new job? I'm sick of all of this driving and you leaving the house at 7am never getting home before 6 or 7pm.
June
T: I can't decide if I hate my job or I hate the commute...
K: Why don't you change both?
July
T: I can't wait for vacation...
Last week
K: You need to quit your job and find one closer to home.
T: I'm not going to quit my job. It's a good job, I don't know what else I might want to do. I'm comfortable and have gained enough tenure and credibility to tinker with my schedule if I need-
K: Okay, then we are moving to Mid-point. This situation is no longer acceptable.
T: (thinking she means move maybe next spring) okay, sounds good.
Katy opens the hall closet and a realtor falls out, dropping the glass she had sandwiched between her ear and the door, and picking up a sign to plant in the front yard...
This is only a slight exaggeration. The house isn't listed, but my wife has made up her mind and our friends who are a mortgage broker and a realtor are involved. We have a little work to do this weekend on our house and we have already started looking at places to buy which is probably a mistake b/c it is not a great idea to risk "falling in love" with a place that might be gone before you can even place a bid (because your house is not even listed.) More on that as it develops...
3) Our yard-obsessed neighbors have been mowing our lawn for the last 4 weeks- ask me about it... The story is hilarity...
4) 15 minutes of fame- extended remix... Tonight we were interviewed by a crew that work for some Italian news show. I don't' know the name, but it is (allegedly) the "20/20 of Italy." They have a 15 minute segment about some aspect of American culture, and this week it's "the gays" and our marriage problems... They tracked us down after reading about us in the NYT. It was kind of different from the documentary. There were strangers in our house, big lights in our living room, extension cords running to various rooms, body mics, etc.
They were very nice and we think it went well... Will give more info when we have it.
5) Ellen and Portia. Since we are talking about marriage, I have a confession to make... Last night, (when maybe I should have been posting, or sleeping) I wrote an email to Ellen DeGeneres- thanking her for her humble, generous willingness to be out and open at various stages of her life. Unlike many celebrities, or celebrities, I believe this woman has done more to change the world and make "our people" safe and more accepted than any civil rights legislation could. I mean, look at this video:
Is there anything that seems as sweet and normal and healthy as these two getting hitched?
I love her! More, really, I admire her and feel indebted to her... She's used her fame as an opportunity to be honest and unapologetic, without taking herself too seriously.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Things are looking up in the gayborhood
Katy nearly made me crap my pants by screaming:
"OHHHH MY GOD...
OHMYGOD...HE'S...HE'S..."
Let me set the stage: I'm blogging in a procrastinatory effort to avoid leaving for work. JB is in the crib a room away, zoning out for his substitute "commute nap" (he normally falls asleep for the 1/2 hr ride on his way to school, but when he stays home or it is a non-school day, we still call it a 'commute nap'.) Katy is also a room away when the panicked shouting begins...
My heart stops and then starts pounding fast. I jump up to see what the WHAT is... for some reason, I've heard her say "HE IS ON THE ROOF!" I don't know who I think she might be referring to, but I don't want anyone on the roof at all right now...
"WHAT IS IT..." i shout, running towards her...
She is looking out the window of our guest room out the street: "HE'S RUNNING. HE'S RUNNING OUTSIDE." At this point, I pray to god she doesn't mean the baby or some stranger that has taken the baby...
"WHO IS RUNNING?!?"
"THE NEIGHBOR! HE'S RUNNING. OUTSIDE. FOR EXERCISE!!!"
Once I understand this is unrelated to our child- which took a few respiratory cycles of time,
I accept all the shouting as appropriate and WNL. For 3 years we never saw our neighbor move at all around the outdoors without a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He is slender and active: he's the dude with the fairytale-like lawn and yard, but he is a big time smoker and by "active" i mean push a mower with a butt in your mouth. A few months back, he had a heart attack and was hospitalized for a week. He didn't feel good on the cardiac and cholesterol meds and he made some "changes". They told us that between the 2 of them, our neighbors were spending $500 a month- wholesale, buying cigarettes online. This spring they both quit. Last month, when kt was jogging, he said, "I gotta get out there too."
We never thought we'd see the day, but this morning, the day arrived. In all the excitement, I think i need a stress test now.
"OHHHH MY GOD...
OHMYGOD...HE'S...HE'S..."
Let me set the stage: I'm blogging in a procrastinatory effort to avoid leaving for work. JB is in the crib a room away, zoning out for his substitute "commute nap" (he normally falls asleep for the 1/2 hr ride on his way to school, but when he stays home or it is a non-school day, we still call it a 'commute nap'.) Katy is also a room away when the panicked shouting begins...
My heart stops and then starts pounding fast. I jump up to see what the WHAT is... for some reason, I've heard her say "HE IS ON THE ROOF!" I don't know who I think she might be referring to, but I don't want anyone on the roof at all right now...
"WHAT IS IT..." i shout, running towards her...
She is looking out the window of our guest room out the street: "HE'S RUNNING. HE'S RUNNING OUTSIDE." At this point, I pray to god she doesn't mean the baby or some stranger that has taken the baby...
"WHO IS RUNNING?!?"
"THE NEIGHBOR! HE'S RUNNING. OUTSIDE. FOR EXERCISE!!!"
Once I understand this is unrelated to our child- which took a few respiratory cycles of time,
I accept all the shouting as appropriate and WNL. For 3 years we never saw our neighbor move at all around the outdoors without a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He is slender and active: he's the dude with the fairytale-like lawn and yard, but he is a big time smoker and by "active" i mean push a mower with a butt in your mouth. A few months back, he had a heart attack and was hospitalized for a week. He didn't feel good on the cardiac and cholesterol meds and he made some "changes". They told us that between the 2 of them, our neighbors were spending $500 a month- wholesale, buying cigarettes online. This spring they both quit. Last month, when kt was jogging, he said, "I gotta get out there too."
We never thought we'd see the day, but this morning, the day arrived. In all the excitement, I think i need a stress test now.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
GOOD MOOOOOORNing SUBERBIA...
IT'S 0700!!! What does the "0" stand for?
OH MY GOD IT'S EARLY!!!
Guess what, it's snowing... on a Saturday... several inches...
I woke up at what I assumed was a decent hour (because of all the snow blowing in the neighborhood...)
When I saw the clock, I kind of crapped a shit fit.
The only reason I was still asleep is b/c my wife decided it was my turn to "sleep in" and took baby duty at 6am.
WE HAVE A BABY, NEIGHBORS!!! Can't you throw us a bone and keep your heavy machinery in the garage until 8 or 9am?!?
Keep in mind, it hasn't stopped snowing, and no one has fired up their car and left the driveway... it's not like they are going anywhere and need to clear a path... they are just going to repeat this process when the snow stops in a few hours.
When I got up, I "fired back" with the only piece of heavy equipment I have at the ready: the breast pump!
By the way, it is still snowing... it's not like they won't have to be out there again in a few hours.
Question: When is it appropriate to start using loud machines to clear snow on a weekend?
OH MY GOD IT'S EARLY!!!
Guess what, it's snowing... on a Saturday... several inches...
I woke up at what I assumed was a decent hour (because of all the snow blowing in the neighborhood...)
When I saw the clock, I kind of crapped a shit fit.
The only reason I was still asleep is b/c my wife decided it was my turn to "sleep in" and took baby duty at 6am.
WE HAVE A BABY, NEIGHBORS!!! Can't you throw us a bone and keep your heavy machinery in the garage until 8 or 9am?!?
Keep in mind, it hasn't stopped snowing, and no one has fired up their car and left the driveway... it's not like they are going anywhere and need to clear a path... they are just going to repeat this process when the snow stops in a few hours.
When I got up, I "fired back" with the only piece of heavy equipment I have at the ready: the breast pump!
By the way, it is still snowing... it's not like they won't have to be out there again in a few hours.
Question: When is it appropriate to start using loud machines to clear snow on a weekend?
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