We are in the hospital.
Katy's water broke. There was some "trickling" last night during dinner. We went to bed excited and hopeful and she woke up at 2 AM to say, "My water definitely broke". We tried (not too successfully) to get a little more sleep.
JB is with his cousins and TT and Nana and Papa. TT came to pick him up at 7:30am.
katy's been having contractions since last Tuesday. Sometimes every 10 minutes, sometimes less frequent.
We've been here since 8am- membranes ruptured, 4cm dilated, 50-60% effaced, baby at -2 station, no change for the last 6-7 hours. They are about to start her on a little bit of pit.
Katy's parents are on their way and my family is going to bring JB in for a pre-baby visit before things get too exciting.
GAME ON.
Showing posts with label New baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New baby. Show all posts
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Winding down the clock
JB,
You are so overdue for a newsletter. I have started at least 3 of them and can't get one completed. Every day brings new things out of your mouth, new words, new ideas, new tantrums, new smiles and mischievous stares.
Your favorite thing right now is ORANGE. You want to wear an orange shirt every day. You see orange in the smallest quantities; the seam of the lining of a suitcase, for example. Today, you went through the neatly arranged drawers of your unborn brother and pulled out the 3 orange items you saw in there with a definitive, "Mine." You also have learned the phase, "By Myself," enough said. "By Myself" is a "front" and it usually relates to singing a song unaccompanied or holding a fork... Lord forbid one of us leaves your side, "By Myself" falls to the curb like an empty snow-cone wrapper at the end of an Independence day parade.
Your mama and i have been talking about you more than usual lately. We love you so damn much and we begin and end every single day telling each other how cute we think you are. You are amazing and you are sweet and funny. You are soft- your skin, and the way you look around and observe the world, even the brave way you jut out a bottom lip and hold back tears (or let them fall) during time out. We're not sure how the arrival of your brother will effect you. And that is weighing on our minds. We just can't predict the things you will need from us. And if I meditated on it, I might just need to cry a good cry- a release, a watershed, a nervous tic- the expression of an overfull heart.
We have been slowly adding more detail to the story about your "Brother". We have for sometime been pointing and referring to him in Mama's belly. And in the last 2 months when we see little babies, we try to show you their mommy's bellies where they "used to be, like your brother is now." In the last 2 weeks, we have made a point to paint a picture of what the arrival of your brother might look like; the stay with your Nana, Papa, TT, and Bill... the visit at the hospital... Mama and Mommy going to the hospital to have brother and bringing him home... As we add these details, you glaze over seemingly on purpose. (You couldn't be more clear if you covered your ears and started singing, "lalalalalalalla, I can't hear you.")
You are an easy going boy, but you are not void of opinions. And frankly, you don't like change. You've been known to cry when I drop you off at day care AND then cry again when I arrive to pick you up...
You are interested in the babies at school, but this will be exceedingly different. You thoroughly enjoy the undivided attention of your parents. When one of us leaves the room, you consistently call after that parent, even if the other of us has remained by your side. I am confident that (in the long run) having a brother will be an amazing and positive experience for you and for our family. BUT I can't help looking at you these last few days and realizing that it will be somewhat heartbreaking for you; having to "share us" all of the sudden, and share our attention with someone else. I think of the story my cousin tells about his oldest daughter bursting into tears the moment she saw her parents arrive home with her new sister. When I look at you, I'm pretty sure that I know you will feel the same way. I can imagine you, putting your hand up like a crossing guard, "No, Mommy... STOP" as you have been inclined to say to us recently.
Your Mama is even more sensitive to your discomforts than I am. She hurts thinking of things that may cause you consternation or confusion, let alone grief or pain. For your whole life, everything we have done has been with your long term best interest in mind, and this "brother" thing is no different.
But so you know (cause I won't admit it later) I'm nervous. I'm worried about how this will rock your world. I'm worried on some level it may "set you back", upset your sense of safety, and make you feel rejected. It is hard to be "big picture" right now. I feel like IN THIS MOMENT there is a lot (that you don't even know you have) that you are about to lose. I can't begin to tell you what it will be like, because I have no idea, but... there are a few things that I DO know.
I know we are adding more to our lives. More confusion, chaos, texture, stimulation, challenges, and love. More of what makes us real, uniquely human, and more of what makes life worthwhile. More for us to work on, work with, lean on, teach, and learn. I believe this is what family is for, to teach us what real sharing is. Sharing your parents, little boy, is no minor thing.
We will try to teach you that a big brother is there to smooth the way and a little brother is there to help break the falls (or vice versa). If we do our job right, this is the guy that will "toughen you up", but break the arm of any dude that crosses you... Who will shout you up off your ass when you're feeling sorry for yourself, and sit quietly with you in times of heartbreak. He may be your sometimes hero/companion/friend, and your sometimes rival/tormentor/button-pusher. He will know you as perfectly as you allow him. He will know better than anyone else on the planet what it is like to come from the place you came from. He won't speak with your voice, or think your thoughts, but he may listen to them and he will certainly watch you and know you on a level that others can't.
Mama and I are excitedly awakening to the fact that this little guy is more than just an idea now. It is like right before we had you: we tried not to have any particular expectations, but we were giddy in nervousness and we were eager. This time is obviously different: With you in the picture, when brother starts the process of arrival, we can't even focus on him until you are shuttled off to safety or "operation JB stash" is initiated...
So, in your life, if or when you feel (consciously or unconsciously) like this little boy has picked your pocket and/or inserted himself where you didn't invite him, I hope you remember this tiny tidbit - Brother never got these two years of princely and singular devotion. The only unique adoration he might receive is from you, actually. So, do your best to be good to him.
Soon everything changes, little boy. But really, in terms of how we love you and what you mean to us, I promise, no matter what- nothing changes.
You are so overdue for a newsletter. I have started at least 3 of them and can't get one completed. Every day brings new things out of your mouth, new words, new ideas, new tantrums, new smiles and mischievous stares.
Your favorite thing right now is ORANGE. You want to wear an orange shirt every day. You see orange in the smallest quantities; the seam of the lining of a suitcase, for example. Today, you went through the neatly arranged drawers of your unborn brother and pulled out the 3 orange items you saw in there with a definitive, "Mine." You also have learned the phase, "By Myself," enough said. "By Myself" is a "front" and it usually relates to singing a song unaccompanied or holding a fork... Lord forbid one of us leaves your side, "By Myself" falls to the curb like an empty snow-cone wrapper at the end of an Independence day parade.
Your mama and i have been talking about you more than usual lately. We love you so damn much and we begin and end every single day telling each other how cute we think you are. You are amazing and you are sweet and funny. You are soft- your skin, and the way you look around and observe the world, even the brave way you jut out a bottom lip and hold back tears (or let them fall) during time out. We're not sure how the arrival of your brother will effect you. And that is weighing on our minds. We just can't predict the things you will need from us. And if I meditated on it, I might just need to cry a good cry- a release, a watershed, a nervous tic- the expression of an overfull heart.
We have been slowly adding more detail to the story about your "Brother". We have for sometime been pointing and referring to him in Mama's belly. And in the last 2 months when we see little babies, we try to show you their mommy's bellies where they "used to be, like your brother is now." In the last 2 weeks, we have made a point to paint a picture of what the arrival of your brother might look like; the stay with your Nana, Papa, TT, and Bill... the visit at the hospital... Mama and Mommy going to the hospital to have brother and bringing him home... As we add these details, you glaze over seemingly on purpose. (You couldn't be more clear if you covered your ears and started singing, "lalalalalalalla, I can't hear you.")
You are an easy going boy, but you are not void of opinions. And frankly, you don't like change. You've been known to cry when I drop you off at day care AND then cry again when I arrive to pick you up...
You are interested in the babies at school, but this will be exceedingly different. You thoroughly enjoy the undivided attention of your parents. When one of us leaves the room, you consistently call after that parent, even if the other of us has remained by your side. I am confident that (in the long run) having a brother will be an amazing and positive experience for you and for our family. BUT I can't help looking at you these last few days and realizing that it will be somewhat heartbreaking for you; having to "share us" all of the sudden, and share our attention with someone else. I think of the story my cousin tells about his oldest daughter bursting into tears the moment she saw her parents arrive home with her new sister. When I look at you, I'm pretty sure that I know you will feel the same way. I can imagine you, putting your hand up like a crossing guard, "No, Mommy... STOP" as you have been inclined to say to us recently.
Your Mama is even more sensitive to your discomforts than I am. She hurts thinking of things that may cause you consternation or confusion, let alone grief or pain. For your whole life, everything we have done has been with your long term best interest in mind, and this "brother" thing is no different.
But so you know (cause I won't admit it later) I'm nervous. I'm worried about how this will rock your world. I'm worried on some level it may "set you back", upset your sense of safety, and make you feel rejected. It is hard to be "big picture" right now. I feel like IN THIS MOMENT there is a lot (that you don't even know you have) that you are about to lose. I can't begin to tell you what it will be like, because I have no idea, but... there are a few things that I DO know.
I know we are adding more to our lives. More confusion, chaos, texture, stimulation, challenges, and love. More of what makes us real, uniquely human, and more of what makes life worthwhile. More for us to work on, work with, lean on, teach, and learn. I believe this is what family is for, to teach us what real sharing is. Sharing your parents, little boy, is no minor thing.
We will try to teach you that a big brother is there to smooth the way and a little brother is there to help break the falls (or vice versa). If we do our job right, this is the guy that will "toughen you up", but break the arm of any dude that crosses you... Who will shout you up off your ass when you're feeling sorry for yourself, and sit quietly with you in times of heartbreak. He may be your sometimes hero/companion/friend, and your sometimes rival/tormentor/button-pusher. He will know you as perfectly as you allow him. He will know better than anyone else on the planet what it is like to come from the place you came from. He won't speak with your voice, or think your thoughts, but he may listen to them and he will certainly watch you and know you on a level that others can't.
Mama and I are excitedly awakening to the fact that this little guy is more than just an idea now. It is like right before we had you: we tried not to have any particular expectations, but we were giddy in nervousness and we were eager. This time is obviously different: With you in the picture, when brother starts the process of arrival, we can't even focus on him until you are shuttled off to safety or "operation JB stash" is initiated...
So, in your life, if or when you feel (consciously or unconsciously) like this little boy has picked your pocket and/or inserted himself where you didn't invite him, I hope you remember this tiny tidbit - Brother never got these two years of princely and singular devotion. The only unique adoration he might receive is from you, actually. So, do your best to be good to him.
Soon everything changes, little boy. But really, in terms of how we love you and what you mean to us, I promise, no matter what- nothing changes.
Monday, August 17, 2009
T minus 3 weeks and 3 days
WOW.
We are getting close to the due date. And it has been HOT!!! It was 90+ degrees all week and they are forecasting at least another few days of that weather.
We might have to cut katy's wedding band off. I say "do it now before it gets too purple." But she is hesitant. She is huge. But just huge for katy- swollen limbs and big belly- not huge like the rest of us Americans. She looks amazing and healthy (if you don't look at the ankles, the ankle scream "congestive heart failure") and glowing through all of the heavy breathing.
JB knows something is up and he has started waking up once or twice a night. But I think it's the rollercoaster we are on more than JB's restless nights. We are just exhausted and we put ourselves in the bed at 8:30 pm last night. This morning, I feel so much better than I felt last night and it occurs to me how excited I am for all of these changes. We only have only a few weeks to try and rest before we start up with some "around-the-clock care" of our new baby boy and some mental calculations and logistical adjustments that our new big brother is going to require.
And the grass really needs to be mowed, but that might have to wait until the heat wave breaks.
We are getting close to the due date. And it has been HOT!!! It was 90+ degrees all week and they are forecasting at least another few days of that weather.
We might have to cut katy's wedding band off. I say "do it now before it gets too purple." But she is hesitant. She is huge. But just huge for katy- swollen limbs and big belly- not huge like the rest of us Americans. She looks amazing and healthy (if you don't look at the ankles, the ankle scream "congestive heart failure") and glowing through all of the heavy breathing.
JB knows something is up and he has started waking up once or twice a night. But I think it's the rollercoaster we are on more than JB's restless nights. We are just exhausted and we put ourselves in the bed at 8:30 pm last night. This morning, I feel so much better than I felt last night and it occurs to me how excited I am for all of these changes. We only have only a few weeks to try and rest before we start up with some "around-the-clock care" of our new baby boy and some mental calculations and logistical adjustments that our new big brother is going to require.
And the grass really needs to be mowed, but that might have to wait until the heat wave breaks.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Sweaty sunshine and random musings
Dear peeps and GSO'ians out there reading...
Sorry for all the Internet silence.
I miss you too.
The sun came out yesterday and again today. I think I understand why ancient people might have been afraid of the sun. It is so powerful and when you haven't seen it in like 36 days, it can really freak you out! Just kidding. But I don't think the seasonal depression is just going to silently wash away with the first drops of summer sweat or the faint heat of a minor sunburn.
Since I've written last, I had a birthday. No biggie. I'm still in my mid-30s and believe me, I cannot WAIT for the 1st season of Thirtysomthing to come out on DVD in September. I feel like if I can just watch that show NOW (as opposed to when I was addicted to it in my late teens and early 20s) it will unlock some true secrets of personal success and happiness.
This morning my car's odometer read 171717. And at that exact moment in time, the "trip mileage" (which I had just reset at the beginning of my work commute) read... wait for it...
17.7 miles!!! (I.shit.you.not!)
I don't know what this means, but despite how my desk at work looks, I love symmetry and order, and isn't that it's own reward?!? Not to be too pessimistic, but I'm sure that means the car will die soon.
Katy is pregnant.
For those of you that just fell off your chair, you need to read the GSO more often.
For those of you that are like, "yeah, we know that..." What I mean to imply with uncapturable inflection, is...
No.
For realz.
She. Really. Pregnant now...
She is waddling, belly out-to-here, swollen, all "don't-you-dare-touch-me-and think-that-type of-RELATIONS-is going-down-after the-word-cankle-came-out-your-mouth"...
She is adorable
and...
uncomfortable.
And I just try to walk the yellow line; expressing love and support, but not too much love or too much support, if you know what I mean; cause I don't want to be any more annoying than I have to be. With all my breathing and sleeping (right there in the bed and not even getting a leg cramp) and with my flip flops still fitting me and all... I mean she's got a point, that must get annoying!
IBO and husband and the baby (LABO) are doing really well. It is a relief and I will fully exhale in about 2.5 weeks when he is 36 weeks gestation. As an extra slap in the ass for them, A tornado touched down in their neighborhood and left a trail of destruction. Fortunately, (they are eternal optimists) they just went and slept at the hospital with their baby- since there was no power at their house.
I'm working on a newsletter. For those of you that are counting the missed months, Katy and I agree that JB is old enough for this to become a "quarterly" newsletter and not a "monthly" newsletter. So really, I have not even missed a deadline! He's done some super adorable things in these last few months, so stay tuned!!!
BONUS BELLY SHOT:
"My Morning view" 29 WEEKS:
Sorry for all the Internet silence.
I miss you too.
The sun came out yesterday and again today. I think I understand why ancient people might have been afraid of the sun. It is so powerful and when you haven't seen it in like 36 days, it can really freak you out! Just kidding. But I don't think the seasonal depression is just going to silently wash away with the first drops of summer sweat or the faint heat of a minor sunburn.
Since I've written last, I had a birthday. No biggie. I'm still in my mid-30s and believe me, I cannot WAIT for the 1st season of Thirtysomthing to come out on DVD in September. I feel like if I can just watch that show NOW (as opposed to when I was addicted to it in my late teens and early 20s) it will unlock some true secrets of personal success and happiness.
This morning my car's odometer read 171717. And at that exact moment in time, the "trip mileage" (which I had just reset at the beginning of my work commute) read... wait for it...
17.7 miles!!! (I.shit.you.not!)
I don't know what this means, but despite how my desk at work looks, I love symmetry and order, and isn't that it's own reward?!? Not to be too pessimistic, but I'm sure that means the car will die soon.
Katy is pregnant.
For those of you that just fell off your chair, you need to read the GSO more often.
For those of you that are like, "yeah, we know that..." What I mean to imply with uncapturable inflection, is...
No.
For realz.
She. Really. Pregnant now...
She is waddling, belly out-to-here, swollen, all "don't-you-dare-touch-me-and think-that-type of-RELATIONS-is going-down-after the-word-cankle-came-out-your-mouth"...
She is adorable
and...
uncomfortable.
And I just try to walk the yellow line; expressing love and support, but not too much love or too much support, if you know what I mean; cause I don't want to be any more annoying than I have to be. With all my breathing and sleeping (right there in the bed and not even getting a leg cramp) and with my flip flops still fitting me and all... I mean she's got a point, that must get annoying!
IBO and husband and the baby (LABO) are doing really well. It is a relief and I will fully exhale in about 2.5 weeks when he is 36 weeks gestation. As an extra slap in the ass for them, A tornado touched down in their neighborhood and left a trail of destruction. Fortunately, (they are eternal optimists) they just went and slept at the hospital with their baby- since there was no power at their house.
I'm working on a newsletter. For those of you that are counting the missed months, Katy and I agree that JB is old enough for this to become a "quarterly" newsletter and not a "monthly" newsletter. So really, I have not even missed a deadline! He's done some super adorable things in these last few months, so stay tuned!!!
BONUS BELLY SHOT:
"My Morning view" 29 WEEKS:
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
In a family way
This morning, the alarm went off and Kt brought JB into our bed.
As has become an occasional routine, I scratched and tickled his limbs, his hands and feet, his head and back. If you tickle any part of his body that is one of a pair, he will hold the other one up after 30 to 60 seconds and say, "Other one". Back and forth. Back and forth.
Katy was on the other side of Jake, warm from the excessive mitosis. Her pregnancy has brought out a feverish state. Lately when her normally-ice-cold hands touch me, I startle with a flash of concern that we will die from swine flu. Then I remember BEANv2.0 and all the dividing and dividing and the dividing and the ATP that releases
As has become an occasional routine, I scratched and tickled his limbs, his hands and feet, his head and back. If you tickle any part of his body that is one of a pair, he will hold the other one up after 30 to 60 seconds and say, "Other one". Back and forth. Back and forth.
Katy was on the other side of Jake, warm from the excessive mitosis. Her pregnancy has brought out a feverish state. Lately when her normally-ice-cold hands touch me, I startle with a flash of concern that we will die from swine flu. Then I remember BEANv2.0 and all the dividing and dividing and the dividing and the ATP that releases
Monday, May 18, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Our Growing Bean
This shot is from about a month ago... we are behind on belly shots for you Internet lurkers, but KT is growing. The boy bean is kicking and squirming and I can feel him "bump" now. His Mama is getting used to it, but still not quite "comfortable" with all of this internal movement. She is having some rib pain, some round ligament pain, and some GI symptoms (occasional nausea, constipation, and frequent heartburn). Other than that, she feels good and is eating well. JB knows the "baby" or "brother" is in there, but today he pointed to my right tittie and said, "brother," so it might not be all that clear in his mind what-the-cluck we are trying to say to him...
It is starting to get real for the mommies. I realized today that we are four months away, and I was like, "hmmm... okay... yikes!!!" We are trying to start to get serious about moving and lowered the asking price on our estate. Please people, just make us an offer... we're starting to panic over here and the "timeline" just got all up in katy's
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Oh, I got her pregnant
K: (In a thrilled, tremulous voice) Oh my god the most amazing thing happened to me today!
T: (eagerly) oh yeah? Do tell...
K: I was eating my peanut butter and banana for breakfast, and there was a chocolate chip in the peanut butter and i didn't even know that it was in there until it was in my mouth.
T: (staring lovingly)
K: it was hidden in the middle of the peanut butter, and then it was just magically in my mouth.
T and K: (laughter)
This is the second trimester for Katy... After months of puking and gagging, she recently said to me, "Food has never tasted this good." To which I replied, "Welcome to my entire life." It was a little magical moment like when Willy Wonka opens the doors to his chocolate factory to poor, underfed Charlie and shows him the chocolate river and the production capacity of an oompa loompa workforce.
Last night she sat on the couch spooning chocolate chips directly into the chunky peanut butter jar and then dipping a tablespoon in to bring both delicacies into her mouth, and today, she found a leftover nugget.
Moving on to bigger news...
We had the ultrasound. If you know us on facebook (or in real life) this is old news, but to all GSO fans, the baby she is growing is looking good. The brains and heart, the bones and bladder and liver and circulation all are awesome. Measuring just a little bit bigger than dates, all looks great. (Including the dangly bit that makes him a BOY!) We are thrilled. Of course we would be thrilled if he had been a she, but since the news came to us last Thursday, we have been reviewing the top 3 reasons this is perfect for us:
1) We love the name we had for a boy and we don't have one for a girl (no, we're not telling)
2) Seriously, siblings born in the same month of the year, it would be heartbreaking not to be able to use all those adorable hand-me-downs.
3) Our sweet little JB is a pensive thinker, surrounded by loving women and only a handful of men... a brother to protect and who will also watch out for him seems to be the perfect set up!
Katy is 20 weeks tomorrow. Half way through the pregnancy. He's kicking and moving and she's got the cutest little bump. (pics to follow.)
T: (eagerly) oh yeah? Do tell...
K: I was eating my peanut butter and banana for breakfast, and there was a chocolate chip in the peanut butter and i didn't even know that it was in there until it was in my mouth.
T: (staring lovingly)
K: it was hidden in the middle of the peanut butter, and then it was just magically in my mouth.
T and K: (laughter)
This is the second trimester for Katy... After months of puking and gagging, she recently said to me, "Food has never tasted this good." To which I replied, "Welcome to my entire life." It was a little magical moment like when Willy Wonka opens the doors to his chocolate factory to poor, underfed Charlie and shows him the chocolate river and the production capacity of an oompa loompa workforce.
Last night she sat on the couch spooning chocolate chips directly into the chunky peanut butter jar and then dipping a tablespoon in to bring both delicacies into her mouth, and today, she found a leftover nugget.
Moving on to bigger news...
We had the ultrasound. If you know us on facebook (or in real life) this is old news, but to all GSO fans, the baby she is growing is looking good. The brains and heart, the bones and bladder and liver and circulation all are awesome. Measuring just a little bit bigger than dates, all looks great. (Including the dangly bit that makes him a BOY!) We are thrilled. Of course we would be thrilled if he had been a she, but since the news came to us last Thursday, we have been reviewing the top 3 reasons this is perfect for us:
1) We love the name we had for a boy and we don't have one for a girl (no, we're not telling)
2) Seriously, siblings born in the same month of the year, it would be heartbreaking not to be able to use all those adorable hand-me-downs.
3) Our sweet little JB is a pensive thinker, surrounded by loving women and only a handful of men... a brother to protect and who will also watch out for him seems to be the perfect set up!
Katy is 20 weeks tomorrow. Half way through the pregnancy. He's kicking and moving and she's got the cutest little bump. (pics to follow.)
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Life at 13 weeks 6 days
Life is good.
Work is nuts.
We turned the clocks an hour forward this week.
(Is that DST? or are we out of DST? I'm not sure how it works)
Katy is still nauseous. (getting better we think)
The baby is the size of a lemon.
JB is throwing a few fits here and there.
We are tired.
The blog is suffering.
I haven't written a newsletter in 2.5 months.
Monday, I witnessed our son's very first full-blown tantrum. It was a little like a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon and included him meandering through several rooms crying, screeching, sobbing, sweating, head-banging, kicking, throwing himself on the floor, putting his head in his hands and crying on the closed toilet seat, banging his head on the wall, spinning and rolling around in little break-dancing moves... It ended in child's pose with a head butt or two thrown in for good measure before he finally calmed down enough for maternal intervention.
It was dramatic, and irritating in the moment, but still (I'm not going to lie) cute. JB is a sweetie 90% of the time. The fact that he is starting to have opinions is "interesting," but it is new enough that it is still a source of pride to me.
He struggles and suffers through the eye drops every morning and at night; crying and fighting with all of his limbs flailing and no amount of calm words or pleading on our part can get him to understand what we are doing. He seals his eyelids closed against the antimicrobial medication, as if we were pouring liquid mercury into them. Katy found a way to make us feel better about torturing him: When the drops are in at the end of all the fussing, we say, "Say 'thank you'." And through the sniffles, he loyally gives us a slightly hesitant "tth-hank-cue."
And we quiver in silent laughter that he's so pliable.
Here are some pics from a birthday party this weekend
(right before the pink eye attacked.)
Oh, a car... Excellent! I think I'll play "in and out of the car" for 25 minutes!
"beep beep"
"HEY BUDDY, GET OUT OF THE WAY OF MY CAR!!!"
"Vrrrrrummmmmm...."
Work is nuts.
We turned the clocks an hour forward this week.
(Is that DST? or are we out of DST? I'm not sure how it works)
Katy is still nauseous. (getting better we think)
The baby is the size of a lemon.
JB is throwing a few fits here and there.
We are tired.
The blog is suffering.
I haven't written a newsletter in 2.5 months.
Monday, I witnessed our son's very first full-blown tantrum. It was a little like a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon and included him meandering through several rooms crying, screeching, sobbing, sweating, head-banging, kicking, throwing himself on the floor, putting his head in his hands and crying on the closed toilet seat, banging his head on the wall, spinning and rolling around in little break-dancing moves... It ended in child's pose with a head butt or two thrown in for good measure before he finally calmed down enough for maternal intervention.
It was dramatic, and irritating in the moment, but still (I'm not going to lie) cute. JB is a sweetie 90% of the time. The fact that he is starting to have opinions is "interesting," but it is new enough that it is still a source of pride to me.
He struggles and suffers through the eye drops every morning and at night; crying and fighting with all of his limbs flailing and no amount of calm words or pleading on our part can get him to understand what we are doing. He seals his eyelids closed against the antimicrobial medication, as if we were pouring liquid mercury into them. Katy found a way to make us feel better about torturing him: When the drops are in at the end of all the fussing, we say, "Say 'thank you'." And through the sniffles, he loyally gives us a slightly hesitant "tth-hank-cue."
And we quiver in silent laughter that he's so pliable.
Here are some pics from a birthday party this weekend
(right before the pink eye attacked.)
Oh, a car... Excellent! I think I'll play "in and out of the car" for 25 minutes!
"beep beep"
"HEY BUDDY, GET OUT OF THE WAY OF MY CAR!!!"
"Vrrrrrummmmmm...."
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Fat Tuesday
Oh, that's right... it's the day before lent.
But this year, it is also the day we got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. It's the day we let ourselves exhale and finally start to get ex-sigh-ted about the fact that katy is going to start to get FAAAAAAAHAT. She got my baby growing inside of her!
We tried 4 times and found out 5 days after Christmas. Everyone that knows us in "real life" has known about it for a while now... Some people in Ohio knew when the p-stick was a few minutes ripe, but we waited for the little "whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-whoosh" we got to hear at the prenatal appointment today to put it out there on our facebook accounts and up here on the GSO.
There will be a lot more to follow, but for now, there are posts I wrote but didn't publish until now. Follow the label "new baby" to catch up.
We're going to bed now. It's been a happy day, but a long one... it's time to get some shut eye!
But this year, it is also the day we got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. It's the day we let ourselves exhale and finally start to get ex-sigh-ted about the fact that katy is going to start to get FAAAAAAAHAT. She got my baby growing inside of her!
We tried 4 times and found out 5 days after Christmas. Everyone that knows us in "real life" has known about it for a while now... Some people in Ohio knew when the p-stick was a few minutes ripe, but we waited for the little "whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-whoosh" we got to hear at the prenatal appointment today to put it out there on our facebook accounts and up here on the GSO.
There will be a lot more to follow, but for now, there are posts I wrote but didn't publish until now. Follow the label "new baby" to catch up.
We're going to bed now. It's been a happy day, but a long one... it's time to get some shut eye!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
The crawl
There is so much going on that the desire to blog consumes me and the actualization of that desire is delusional.
Work is aclusterfuck horror-show right now. We've been experiencing chaotic institutional change and threats that are imagined, perceived, and alarmingly real. Obviously, the details are too ripe to post here, but take my word for it: SNAFU of the highest order. "Fight-flight" and the power-charge you get from an emergent challenge take you far for about 5 weeks. I've been working all day, coming home and powering up the laptop until well after bedtime.
At the beginning, I was even in good spirits about it - it's been like a slow code and I do miss the old days of hanging blood, cracking ribs, and pushing epinephrine. But now, my brain is turning to mush and my psyche is pretty badly dinged up. I keep my wits about me, literally. Keeping my team laughing is probably my central purpose at this point, but every day brings another detail that is essentially no laughing matter. If you had told me a few months ago what would be going on right now, I would have laughed, slapped your ass, and told you to shove off. Needless to say, I have needed to put a lot more time and energy into work. But more than hours, the shit there is practically always on my mind. It's a veil over my head and I'm distracted by it all the time. Entire 8 or 10 hour work days go by without me having the mental where-with-all to call home. (Not the literal, physical "home" we live in [no one is there during the work day], but the day care or the cell phone that katy carries around when she takes my "home/heart" out into the world.)
Katy is holding down the fort of sanity right now. Trouble is, she is physically compromised due to the fig-sized fetus that we planted inside of her several weeks ago. We have been trying to keep it a little mum, but now that Mackenzie knows about it, the cat is pretty much out of the bag. Always in the form of a question, she knows all and tells the world as much:
Mac 7 weeks ago: "Why are you toasting? Why are you saying congratulations to katy? Why? what's going on?"
Mac 4 weeks ago: "Where is Katy? Why is katy home? Why is katy sleeping? Why does Katy's belly hurt her?"
Mac 1 week ago: "You have a baby in there?" "You're having a baby?" "The baby makes you sick?" "You are having a baby grow in your belly?" "Katy has a baby?" "What's the baby's name?"
We will hopefully hear the baby's heartbeat on Tuesday. And then we will welcome the unadulterated sigh of celebratory planning.
As eluded to above, Katy has been feeling craptastic. Puking, dry heaves, queasy and everything like that. She is falling asleep on the couch at about 7 or 8pm daily. Then she wakes up, and heads to bed between 9 and 10pm beckoning me to accompany her.
Aside from being puky, she is physically warm- a veritable incubator. When i crawl into bed next to her, the temperature is shocking. It is so unusual for her to be throwing this much heat, that I sometimes imagine a hatted, southpaw fetus, spitting fluid and getting ready for the big show.
Today, after a wicked work week capped off by a very fun but kind of crazed-paced Saturday, it rained. It rained the kind of cold rain that should be snow. The kind of cold rain you expect in February. Rain that is 2 or 3 degrees too warm to ice over busy highways. Two years ago, rain like that on a Sunday would have put my wife and me under covers watching movies in bed all day.
Today we had the 1.5 year old to entertain. We putzed and played and grew a tiny bit bored and at some point threw our swimsuits on under our sweats and headed out to the pool. That's right, we belong to a pool. I know what you're thinking, "but we've never heard you speak of 'the pool' before???" When I was pregnant with JB (and even before that) we swam quite a bit- we went to the pool a few times a week to swim laps. And then the pregnancy progressed, and then the c-section, and then all the breastfeeding, and then the baby was too little, and then katy went back to work, and then I went back to work, and then all the ear infections, and don't forget about the laziness... you get the picture.
For some people this is a no brainer - "Quit the pool!!! JUST STOP SENDING YOUR 40 BUCKS EVERY MONTH!!!" But for us this gets all wrapped up in why we're not more active, and not wanting to give up on fitness and being "ready" to work out if the opportunity presents itself. It's hard to stop spending money on the gamble that you might wake up one day and want to suddenly be a better, healthier person.
So we take JB for the first time to the pool that there is no way for him to know he is a member of. It's not the first time he's been in water or a pool, but there is a unique feature of our pool. The kiddie-pool shallow part is a ramp. You walk into it like you are walking into the ocean. Allow me to explain with a visual image that is not really drawn to scale:
The Dark Blue is the regular, larger part of one of the pools (it is longer and wider than it appears here). That pool is 4 to 7 feet deep and the red lines indicate swim lanes. The Yellow is the beginning of the ramp and has water only barely covering your toes. The Green part is 5-7 feet of water that is less than a foot deep, and the Aqua area gradually goes to 2-ish feet as you round the corner and head into the bigger pool. The point of all of this is that JB gets to walk into and around in water that is waist and chest high and doesn't have to be carried all around to explore pool/swimming options.
He started hesitant, but quickly grew to enjoy himself. At first, he wouldn't walk into the water but wanted to be carried. After he realized that he could safely navigate the shallow water, he wanted to explore. Several times he walked right into water that was higher than his mouth or fell completely into water that was a foot deep. We were right there to buoy him up and he came out of the drink every time coughing and sputtering a little, but also laughing.
Watching him in this environment might have been my favorite hour of parenting so far. It was relaxing and simplistic; exciting and mellow. It doesn't hurt that I like the water so much myself. Just being in shallow water with my wife and son made me so happy. For a split second, I wished we had the camera to take photos or video, but I quickly tossed that notion aside. "Be.here.now." I told myself. There was no way to really document these feelings anyway.
JB was beside himself with what can only be described as excited joy. When he ventured out a little bit alone with me, I would point out katy to him. From a distance, he would flail about ecstatic when he caught a glimpse of her. When she had him and his eyes re-located me, he would excitedly slap his chest like a gorilla. But mostly we were all three together. We passed him back and forth, log-tossed him a little. Put him on a kick-board, let him hang on to our floating toes... He put his face in the water, tried to imitate me blowing bubbles, he got on his belly to "swim", he got on his back and "kicked", he held onto my neck and rode on my back as I took him into the bigger pool. By the end, he was walking in an out pretty independently. Then, he was jumping from a seated position and then standing position into my arms off the side of the pool. I couldn't have been prouder if he suddenly counted to 100. It was nothing but fun. And I guess if we needed to quantify it, totally worth the year and 1/2 of membership dues that we obligingly paid despite not using the facilities.
Work is a
At the beginning, I was even in good spirits about it - it's been like a slow code and I do miss the old days of hanging blood, cracking ribs, and pushing epinephrine. But now, my brain is turning to mush and my psyche is pretty badly dinged up. I keep my wits about me, literally. Keeping my team laughing is probably my central purpose at this point, but every day brings another detail that is essentially no laughing matter. If you had told me a few months ago what would be going on right now, I would have laughed, slapped your ass, and told you to shove off. Needless to say, I have needed to put a lot more time and energy into work. But more than hours, the shit there is practically always on my mind. It's a veil over my head and I'm distracted by it all the time. Entire 8 or 10 hour work days go by without me having the mental where-with-all to call home. (Not the literal, physical "home" we live in [no one is there during the work day], but the day care or the cell phone that katy carries around when she takes my "home/heart" out into the world.)
Katy is holding down the fort of sanity right now. Trouble is, she is physically compromised due to the fig-sized fetus that we planted inside of her several weeks ago. We have been trying to keep it a little mum, but now that Mackenzie knows about it, the cat is pretty much out of the bag. Always in the form of a question, she knows all and tells the world as much:
Mac 7 weeks ago: "Why are you toasting? Why are you saying congratulations to katy? Why? what's going on?"
Mac 4 weeks ago: "Where is Katy? Why is katy home? Why is katy sleeping? Why does Katy's belly hurt her?"
Mac 1 week ago: "You have a baby in there?" "You're having a baby?" "The baby makes you sick?" "You are having a baby grow in your belly?" "Katy has a baby?" "What's the baby's name?"
We will hopefully hear the baby's heartbeat on Tuesday. And then we will welcome the unadulterated sigh of celebratory planning.
As eluded to above, Katy has been feeling craptastic. Puking, dry heaves, queasy and everything like that. She is falling asleep on the couch at about 7 or 8pm daily. Then she wakes up, and heads to bed between 9 and 10pm beckoning me to accompany her.
Aside from being puky, she is physically warm- a veritable incubator. When i crawl into bed next to her, the temperature is shocking. It is so unusual for her to be throwing this much heat, that I sometimes imagine a hatted, southpaw fetus, spitting fluid and getting ready for the big show.
Today, after a wicked work week capped off by a very fun but kind of crazed-paced Saturday, it rained. It rained the kind of cold rain that should be snow. The kind of cold rain you expect in February. Rain that is 2 or 3 degrees too warm to ice over busy highways. Two years ago, rain like that on a Sunday would have put my wife and me under covers watching movies in bed all day.
Today we had the 1.5 year old to entertain. We putzed and played and grew a tiny bit bored and at some point threw our swimsuits on under our sweats and headed out to the pool. That's right, we belong to a pool. I know what you're thinking, "but we've never heard you speak of 'the pool' before???" When I was pregnant with JB (and even before that) we swam quite a bit- we went to the pool a few times a week to swim laps. And then the pregnancy progressed, and then the c-section, and then all the breastfeeding, and then the baby was too little, and then katy went back to work, and then I went back to work, and then all the ear infections, and don't forget about the laziness... you get the picture.
For some people this is a no brainer - "Quit the pool!!! JUST STOP SENDING YOUR 40 BUCKS EVERY MONTH!!!" But for us this gets all wrapped up in why we're not more active, and not wanting to give up on fitness and being "ready" to work out if the opportunity presents itself. It's hard to stop spending money on the gamble that you might wake up one day and want to suddenly be a better, healthier person.
So we take JB for the first time to the pool that there is no way for him to know he is a member of. It's not the first time he's been in water or a pool, but there is a unique feature of our pool. The kiddie-pool shallow part is a ramp. You walk into it like you are walking into the ocean. Allow me to explain with a visual image that is not really drawn to scale:
The Dark Blue is the regular, larger part of one of the pools (it is longer and wider than it appears here). That pool is 4 to 7 feet deep and the red lines indicate swim lanes. The Yellow is the beginning of the ramp and has water only barely covering your toes. The Green part is 5-7 feet of water that is less than a foot deep, and the Aqua area gradually goes to 2-ish feet as you round the corner and head into the bigger pool. The point of all of this is that JB gets to walk into and around in water that is waist and chest high and doesn't have to be carried all around to explore pool/swimming options.
He started hesitant, but quickly grew to enjoy himself. At first, he wouldn't walk into the water but wanted to be carried. After he realized that he could safely navigate the shallow water, he wanted to explore. Several times he walked right into water that was higher than his mouth or fell completely into water that was a foot deep. We were right there to buoy him up and he came out of the drink every time coughing and sputtering a little, but also laughing.
Watching him in this environment might have been my favorite hour of parenting so far. It was relaxing and simplistic; exciting and mellow. It doesn't hurt that I like the water so much myself. Just being in shallow water with my wife and son made me so happy. For a split second, I wished we had the camera to take photos or video, but I quickly tossed that notion aside. "Be.here.now." I told myself. There was no way to really document these feelings anyway.
JB was beside himself with what can only be described as excited joy. When he ventured out a little bit alone with me, I would point out katy to him. From a distance, he would flail about ecstatic when he caught a glimpse of her. When she had him and his eyes re-located me, he would excitedly slap his chest like a gorilla. But mostly we were all three together. We passed him back and forth, log-tossed him a little. Put him on a kick-board, let him hang on to our floating toes... He put his face in the water, tried to imitate me blowing bubbles, he got on his belly to "swim", he got on his back and "kicked", he held onto my neck and rode on my back as I took him into the bigger pool. By the end, he was walking in an out pretty independently. Then, he was jumping from a seated position and then standing position into my arms off the side of the pool. I couldn't have been prouder if he suddenly counted to 100. It was nothing but fun. And I guess if we needed to quantify it, totally worth the year and 1/2 of membership dues that we obligingly paid despite not using the facilities.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
KT's nausea
Six weeks and 2 days in, Katy's feeling pretty crappy.
It's worse at night starting at 3pm. Not "queasy" but nauseous and sickie.
She kind of gets a blank stare, like she's trying to keep all her food and juices inside her but it is taking great concentration.
I feel bad for her. But I can't help also feel great and reassured that she is in fact pregnant ONGOING, and the nausea only confirms it!!!
It's worse at night starting at 3pm. Not "queasy" but nauseous and sickie.
She kind of gets a blank stare, like she's trying to keep all her food and juices inside her but it is taking great concentration.
I feel bad for her. But I can't help also feel great and reassured that she is in fact pregnant ONGOING, and the nausea only confirms it!!!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Week five
So, kt is 5 weeks pregnant.
The new bean is the size of a sesame seed.
She is feeling pretty good. Starting to get tired. Queasy to nauseous, intermittent to constant. Tender boobs... She reports that her worst symptom so far is feeling slower GI motility (constipation).
Her body is warm and her steps are light.
I'm aglow watching her and excited for what lies ahead.
Today, we told our minister that we would like to get married but not sure exactly when b/c katy is preggers. She got all teary-eyed about it. It was very sweet.
We've told our families and each of us has told two people at work. I was asked, "How is it to be on the other side?"
It's really cool. I mean, I'm excited and eager, but I'm a little off the hook, mentally. I don't think about it all the time. I could go hours and not even consider and then I'll think, "Oh, katy's pregnant!!!" Also, I'm a little proud. For no real reason, I have that baby-daddy swagger. It's like, "hmm... look what I did... Yeah, I did that." Bizarre and kind of fun.
I love this woman. I can't wait to watch the blooming of this flower. I'm glad I have a front row seat and backstage passes!
The new bean is the size of a sesame seed.
She is feeling pretty good. Starting to get tired. Queasy to nauseous, intermittent to constant. Tender boobs... She reports that her worst symptom so far is feeling slower GI motility (constipation).
Her body is warm and her steps are light.
I'm aglow watching her and excited for what lies ahead.
Today, we told our minister that we would like to get married but not sure exactly when b/c katy is preggers. She got all teary-eyed about it. It was very sweet.
We've told our families and each of us has told two people at work. I was asked, "How is it to be on the other side?"
It's really cool. I mean, I'm excited and eager, but I'm a little off the hook, mentally. I don't think about it all the time. I could go hours and not even consider and then I'll think, "Oh, katy's pregnant!!!" Also, I'm a little proud. For no real reason, I have that baby-daddy swagger. It's like, "hmm... look what I did... Yeah, I did that." Bizarre and kind of fun.
I love this woman. I can't wait to watch the blooming of this flower. I'm glad I have a front row seat and backstage passes!
Thursday, January 01, 2009
New Year's Morning
I'm up alone. The boy in bed by 8pm. Grannies, Katy, and even grandpa down the street were in bed before midnight. I've been up blogging and reading on the computer.
Yesterday, katy pee'd on a stick and got 2 lines!!
So, if all goes well, we are going to be moms again (and this time, I can try out the non-birth mommy, baby-mama role!)
This was our 4th try. On the lesbian-pregnancy-guru's advice we shot two doses up there 12 hours apart. I was poo-pooing the idea, guess it was a little bit of the cheap German in me (hmm... are German's "cheap" or thrifty or... i digress) not wanting to spend $700 in less than 13 hours, but i guess it was a good idea. (not to be picky, but only one of those doses worked. Wouldn't it be better to just know which one???)
Katy and I are cautiously excited and though it is too early to tell anyone, the word is spreading quickly. We told her family before Josh went back to Seattle to have the chance to tell them all in person. We told the womb whisperer. We told Kate who will tell Adam who we think will take this as a welcome hit of good news. I called my sister to ask if she was pregnant - she usually is when this is happening to us (n = 1). We told the above mentioned pregnancy guru and her wife. Katy put some less than obscure status changes on facebook:
1. I'm surprised it doesn't feel any different yet and
2. I'm glad pregnancy guru picked up the phone that night.
And then she had to tone it down when my old roommate and college friends who knew we were trying were all over those clues with congratulatory comments.
I am very excited and already impressed with my wife's level of zen: she only took ONE pregnancy test. That is so un-new pregnant lady of her!
Keep your fingers crossed GSO readers. We are four weeks into 40. Too soon to be excited, but we are!
Yesterday, katy pee'd on a stick and got 2 lines!!
So, if all goes well, we are going to be moms again (and this time, I can try out the non-birth mommy, baby-mama role!)
This was our 4th try. On the lesbian-pregnancy-guru's advice we shot two doses up there 12 hours apart. I was poo-pooing the idea, guess it was a little bit of the cheap German in me (hmm... are German's "cheap" or thrifty or... i digress) not wanting to spend $700 in less than 13 hours, but i guess it was a good idea. (not to be picky, but only one of those doses worked. Wouldn't it be better to just know which one???)
Katy and I are cautiously excited and though it is too early to tell anyone, the word is spreading quickly. We told her family before Josh went back to Seattle to have the chance to tell them all in person. We told the womb whisperer. We told Kate who will tell Adam who we think will take this as a welcome hit of good news. I called my sister to ask if she was pregnant - she usually is when this is happening to us (n = 1). We told the above mentioned pregnancy guru and her wife. Katy put some less than obscure status changes on facebook:
1. I'm surprised it doesn't feel any different yet and
2. I'm glad pregnancy guru picked up the phone that night.
And then she had to tone it down when my old roommate and college friends who knew we were trying were all over those clues with congratulatory comments.
I am very excited and already impressed with my wife's level of zen: she only took ONE pregnancy test. That is so un-new pregnant lady of her!
Keep your fingers crossed GSO readers. We are four weeks into 40. Too soon to be excited, but we are!
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