Blow it out your swimmer's ear

You may remember, earlier in the year when I waxed poetic about Michael Phelps and his overpowering choppers? Well, at the time, I was a little hard on the guy. I guess I felt he was just a little too beloved. I mean, it was all "Michael Phelps" this and "Michael Phelps" that. People were going nuts. I never understand what it is that makes all kinds of folks want to gather up all their dreams and hopes and lay them like an laurel wreath on the head of a 24 year old freak of nature. But now, the walls come crashing down and people are shocked! SHOCKED, I say!!! Shocked that a 24 year old might take a hit off a bong.

"How dare he?"
"How could he?"
"What about the little children? "
"I'm just so disappointed in him!"

What is wrong with people?!? Are they for real?

Needless to say, public opinion turning against MP is all I needed to hop off the fence and become a true supporter and fan.



This is exactly what I wanted to say about the whole overblown, Michael Phelps-smoking-a-bong thing... especially the end of the video... SNL nails it.

What our electrical gadgets are trying to tell us

If you looked at our DVR, you might conclude that DNC convention is part of the Olympics. For the last several weeks, we have recorded hours of Olympic events every night- some still remaining on the "My recorded programs" menu. For the last few nights, we have recorded hours of political coverage. The Democratic nominating convention is my idea of sport. ("Sports" are Katy's idea of sport.) I cannot handle the din of the crowd broadcast during live sporting events. Katy cannot handle the talking heads broadcast during political events. She also cannot handle Hillary supporters who will not "let it go" or the media lug-heads who constantly remind us of those supporters' existence. I'm kind of like, "Everyone's got a right to their opinion- even those Floridians that voted for Ralph Nader in 2004 and 2000."

Every time we put our ipod on shuffle this week, chapters from The Audacity of Hope spontaneously start playing. Katy: Do you think our ipod is trying to tell us something???

More olympics and other tales of huge teeth

To bring up some other of my Olympic concerns:

1) Dara Torres - also a swimmer I would love to just love and not mock. BUT, I am not strong enough. Though, I am not worthy to carry the 41 year old's shammy cloth around in terms of her strength, fitness, over-all greatness, and champion stature, mock her I will. Oh, I will... even if I am short of breath from walking up one flight of stairs while carrying a milkshake to read about her new world record on "the intrenets". Thing is:
You can come out of the closest, Dara...
And people will still like you.
Look at Ellen and Portia!
It is 2008!
Go win your 3700th gold medal, or whatever, and then go get yourself a Lady-friend. Someone as strong on land as you are in the pool- who won't let you stay closeted. Together, you can raise the daughter you worked so hard with that "reproductive endocrinologist" partner of yours to create.

2) Synchronized diving. That's it. I don't have much else to say except W.T.F.
This sport is obviously very difficult, but it cannot be as difficult to compete as it is to watch. Just awful. Boring and weird and bizarre. And will that female commentator just please just shut her annoying #@%$ pie-hole. How did she get this job? Why is this so painful to watch? Let's be honest, it is mostly because of her inconsistent, nasally, inaccurate, allegedly-expert, banter. It looks like others agree.

I'm sure there will be more, but I will leave you with some personal updates: This week, JB had these enormous 2 top teeth finally poke through. They are about 1/2 the size of his head. No wonder he's been a little "not himself".

We are still kind of "stinky" and I think we have decided to throw away both the rug that is in our basement and the one in the garage (it was kind of weird to keep that rug in the garage anyway, but it was a nice touch for last year's Kate-a-palooza*). We thought all the wet-vaccing and some heavy duty cleaners would work to decrease the stink, but because of the timing and our lack of Olympic-sized commitment to the pursuit of wet-vaccing 5 days a week post storm, this is likely the most effective path.

We are going on vacation. I don't know the computer situation. I hope there is access, but blog posts will probably not be that frequent.

*The party-title "Kate-a-palooza" was just a cheep knock off of "Bill-a-palooza"... Even though that event was a cheep knock off of "Mitch-a-palooza", my sister keeps insisting on a foot note.

Shark

I know I shouldn't say this as we are about to visit the beach, but Michael Phelps has more teeth than any water creature I've ever seen...

I want to love and respect him in a pure, unadulterated way like the rest of America, but I am afraid he will chomp thru the TV screen and tear away at my limbs and flesh. I'm sure training to be the best swimmer in the world and perhaps the most winning-est Olympiad ever- all before the tender age of 24 has kept him busy... But really? No time for an orthodontist appointment? Or just a quick tooth extraction to give his chiseled jaw a break? I would think Nik.e would make this endeavor worth his while... god forbid he goes nuts at a photo shoot and breaks through the Plexiglas and snacks on all the photographers and commercial production staff.



Seriously. This guy is unbelievable. And he seems so nice. Obviously I'm kidding about taking some of his teeth out- It would probably cause him to lose some of his superpowers- not worth the risk AT.ALL.

I'm sure there's several rows of choppers in there anyway...

Speaking of the Olympics, I might not have mentioned that I'm living with an addict. Katy has watched all or part of the Beijing opening ceremonies three times. If we did not own a DVR, we would have had to purchase one for this televised event. There are like 40 channels and round the clock coverage. For the prime time footage, she makes herself wait to give the live coverage an hour or two head start and watches in a staccato frenzy of 10 second fast forward. I can't even follow the action via this method and can't figure out whose winning or losing. But she can some how still absorb the billions of factoids and background trivia surrounding the athletes and games:

T: Those unitard-suits look so silly
K: Those are Speed.o's New LZR ("laser") racer suits. That's the Bodyskin model... That's the Legskin model... Micheal Phelps was allowed by Nik.e to wear non-swish apparel because this is the fastest suit ever invented and the technology is patented.
T: (trying not to mock her geekish retention of Olympic facts for the 700 millionth and 1st time in a week) Is it really more comfortable to swim with all of that on? Why don't they just wrap themselves in some parachute nylon and a down comforter.
K: (not amused or even distracted from her 10 second, fast forward, remote controlled, games surfing) The elastane-nylon and polyurethane - Gore-tex allows for better oxygen flow to the muscles, and holds the body in a more hydrodynamic position, while repelling water. The seams of the suit are ultrasonically welded to further reduce drag. (She states sounding like a wikepedia entry.)
T: It doesn't bother you that that gore tex might get all tangled up in his teeth?
K: (no response)
T: Like a turtle caught in one of those plastic rings that hold six-packs of soda together?
K: (Watching the TV intently)
T: He COULD DIE!!!
K: (nothing)
T: WHAT ABOUT THE LITTLE CHILDREN?!?
K: (Hitting the fast forward button like she is playing a video game, ignoring non-essential, non-olympic noises...)
T: I think these suits should be banned.
K: (Speaking as if more trivia will shut me up) The suit can lower racing times by 1.9 to 2.2 percent...
T: Textile Doping- I'm surprised the cyclists haven't started eating these suits yet.