Conversations with kids: Birthday edition

Today is Milo's 2nd birthday.

We've been prepping him for several days:

Moms: Who's bday is tomorrow?
ML: Noooo
Moms: Milo's birthday is tomorrow!!!
ML: No, Mommy... Mama
Moms: Not our b-day... Milo's birthday

This morning, we snuck into his room before his brother was awake and with quiet enthusiasm sang "Happy Birthday" to him. He actually acted shy, smiling but sort of hiding his head with his arm; and then pointing to us and saying, "No... YOU... Mama... Mommy." It was some combination of:
"Why are you guys singing to me? I don't want a birthday, YOU have one..." and
"I'm not completely comfortable with this attention and recognition."

It was cute but confusing- this patten is a few days in the making. Milo, embarrassed?!? Could that be right? What does it all mean? But just so we know were we stand in the order of things, when Jake woke up, he approached Milo. In a sleepy (almost like an over-tired teenager) voice with a vaguest modicum of excitement, he scratched out a single (non-musical) phrase:
"Happy Birthday, Milo."

The response came without any hesitation. Completely pleased with his brother's acknowledgment, Milo gave a full grin, "Thank you, Jake-Jake".

(sigh)

***Doff thy initials

*** Some of you may note, this is the first time I have used the boys' names on the blog.

The truth is, it is just too hard to write about them now using the sterile initials. In real life, they are so 3D and vibrant and textured... AND so much of who they are starts with what we call them.

At least Jake, on occasion, gets called "JB" by me, outside of the sphere of the GSO. But Milo is Milo and writing "ML" instead of "Milo" feels like a big lie. It feels a little too much like creating a clumsy alias "He-who-must-not-be-named"... It feels like having to watch the entire Wizard of Oz in black and white... At this point in time, using only their initials feels like I'm putting a veil or blanket over the heads of 2 of my most favorite people in the whole world.

When they were first born, using initials for the boys seemed like the right way to "protect" them and give them some anonymity. But that does not seem necessary now. These boys are so far from anonymous (especially to the readers of this blog). Continuing to use their initials in place of their names is like trying to explain their personalities without words. Katy and I love the boys' names so much and we think each has grown into their name, enriched the name we gave them beyond even what we hoped it might mean. Each has filled his name with depth and definition and also bent like a moon into the pull of his name. I agree with Shakespeare, that a being would likely be unchanged if it had been given another name. Yet, our boys cannot be separated from their names in my mind. The essence of who they are is entirely intertwined with their names.

We call Jacob- "Jacob", "Jake", "Jakey", "J", "JB", "Jacob Brian". He answers to all of those, but ALWAYS introduces himself as "Jacob". One time, I asked him if he wanted me to call him "Jacob", if he minded that we called him Jake (I held my breath, knowing that this would break my heart a little, if he asked me not to call him Jake. But the first rule of caring for someone in nursing is you ask what s/he wants to be called. If you respect someone, you let him define himself and not impose or omit his name or title... Even if you are the people that named him.) Jake replied, "no, you can call me Jake... or Jacob". He was nonchalant and steadfast. And I felt so relieved that he seemed to really be comfortable with the options we offered him when we named him.

Milo is Michael Logan (yes... like J-Lo). When we named him, we figured, he wouldn't be tied to a "trendy" name if he didn't like or "fit into" Milo. But I would be shocked if he grew to be called anything else. He is "Milo" as much as tree is "tree". "ML" is just off-putting and lame compared to this dynamic little force of light and life and willful opinions and giggles and sweet kisses and musical prowess and hypnotizing stares that we call "Milo".

I love these boys!
I love who they are more than what we call them.
But I do also really love their names.

Tonight I'm gonna try something new...

Tonight, I'm gonna go to bed early and wake up early tomorrow morning...

That will be new.

This week, I have been staying up waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too late.

I am really swamped at work and overwhelmed and coming home and working more- late into the night from the lap top. I've been neglecting my blog, and I have a lot to say.

This weekend, I am going to get back on it, but until then, a few visuals:

1) The boys seem to us to be getting so big... Every day, we look at them and think, "You are so long, you have grown so!" But look at them here, they look so teeny-tiny:



2) JB has never met a meatball he doesn't like, but a sandwich lover he is NOT. This breaks my heart a little. I love a sandwich like Joey from Friends. It doesn't matter what I'm eating, I prefer it smooched between 2 pieces of bread. Every time he refuses a sandwich, or pulls the meat off of bread, I feel a little betrayed. This here was one of my proudest moments as a parent:


I know he looks confused and/or miserable, but he really enjoyed it, trust me...
(This is partially, but not completely "wishful thinking".)

3) ML looking happy, refusing dinner per his usual, daily routine:



4) Another great "it gets better video" from the You Tube channel started by Dan Savage... These are apple employees (hat tip, Adam):

Today's construction book observation

JB: Mommy, wanna see something NOT cool?
Me: sure.
JB: (pointing toward 2 men standing in the middle of a construction site in one of his board books) These two guys are not wearing helmets. They are at a construction site, but they do not have helmets on.
Me: oh, wow.
Katy: What?
JB: (pointing emphatically) These two guys, standing next to each other at a CONSTRUCTION site, are not wearing helmets! (as an afterthought, said mostly to himself...) That is not cool.

He makes a good point... Those guys clearly think they are above the rules!

Not cool.

Overtired at lunch

T: What do you want to eat?
JB: a sandwich?
T: Grilled cheese?
JB: yeah.

(Ten minutes later, JB peeling the grilled cheese open, starts to cry)

T: What's the matter?!?
JB: (tugging at the melted cheese) I no like this.
T: That's the cheese.
JB: TAKE IT OFF!
T: I can't take it off, it's melted on.
JB: (with excessive and dramatic whining) Melt IT OFF!

Rough few days

The week has been hard already and the snow is coming now.

Snow is not a metaphor... I really mean "snow" as in "wintery mix" that will either bury us or miss us completely- we won't know until it is over this weekend. The weather people are way off their game this year.

I am hurting from a lack of sleep. I stayed up Monday to write that post and then was up most of the night with both kids and in the morning I felt like I might not make it. The boys have been needy and I have been short tempered at times. Tuesday's drop off left my nerves shot because I spent an hour rushing them (esp JB) out of the house. Rushing the kids is my least favorite part of parenting (though fingernail and toenail trimming run a close 2nd)... but there is really no way around rushing them sometimes. I tried not to cry on the drive to work, but a few tears did leak out.

Last night I got a few hours of sleep and woke up feeling better. I even worked out tonight, so I am feeling NOT as much like DYING as I was the day before... But JB was sent home from school after vomiting. And ML slept fairly well last night, so tonight will likely not go as well. Both kids have terrible coughs. They are drippy messes and i wouldn't be surprised if JB's stomach thing is merely associated with mucus production and inadvertent digestion of said mucus. I say that now fully aware I may be cleaning vomit and/or diarrhea and changing sheets before dawn. Now Katy seems to be coming down with something. None of us really felt like eating diner. She asked for a protein shake and we gave JB a few sips of that with some pedialite. ML ate almost as much as either of them in the form of drippy rice cereal.

The wife and I have tickets to see a show in NYC this weekend (Christmas gift from my sis and Bill- who have agreed to also take our kids for 2 nights.) We have been looking toward the weekend like it is a drink of water and we are in the desert, but if JB is actually sick (there seems to be 2 bugs going around day care: a real 24 hour GI bug and then the "your kid puked at day care, but went home and didn't seem sick at all pseudo-bug") and/or if Katy is sick, the weekend might not be a weekend at all but just a drive in for a show.

I hope not. I'm really looking forward to spending some alone time with her and perhaps getting 8 or so hrs of uninterrupted sleep.

Relaxing but productive Sunday

It is not right to go this long without a newsletter...
That's what happens every time I sit down to do anything at the computer - I think "I NEED TO WRITE A NEWSLETTER" - and then I get overwhelmed and write nothing at all.

We have very cute boys, but they cannot be trusted to sleep thru the night. I keep saying I'm going to stop talking about how tired I am and see if that helps me feel less tired, but every time someone asks me how I am, it comes out like uncontrolled diarrhea - I can't stop talking about it - How tired i am...

(shaking it off) But that's not what this post is about...

Today was kind of an amazing day. JB must be in a growth spurt b/c he is sleeping and eating a ton. He only woke up twice last night to ask if he could come into bed with us and at 5:30, Katy brought him in... (This is his new thing, calling for Mama in the middle of the night... One night I went in because he was crying and it was my turn to comfort him and he threw some stuffed object at me and cried out, "NOT YOU! MAMA!! YOU GET OUT!!!" Katy thinks this hurts my feelings and in the daytime hours maybe, but at 2 am??? I think my snores ten seconds later do not accurately reflect how broken up I am that she is the MOC [mother of choice] at that hour...

He slept 'till after 8am and instead of rushing him and trying to kill ourselves to get to church for 9 o'clock, we went to the 11am service. This called for a lot of slow-paced dressing, packing, and down-right lolly-gagging that still put us in the sanctuary at 10:50am. (Our normal arrival time for the 9am service is between 9:08 and 9:15.)

When we got home it was way past nap time and BOTH boys slept SIMULTANEOUSLY! JB for over 3 hours and ML, slightly less. This meant that the mommies had time to talk to each other. And sit and make some plans for the week, prepare some menus, and even start working on dinner. It was quite lovely and when the boys woke up, they actually seemed to sense that we were more prepared to care for them than when they fell asleep. I think they were sweeter to us because of it.

ML had his first week of day care and did amazing. He's the bell of the ball, known over there at school as the "best behaved baby we've ever had!" That's some kind of break for a newbie to leave that kind of impression... JB has demonstrated a little jealousy. Not toward his brother, but toward us. It's normal regression and the kind of behavior that part of me is silently cheering him on for: "good-for-you, little guy! If someone is taking over your territory as 'cutest in the land,' go ahead and do something to get noticed"...

He peed his pants 3 times last Monday. The first time, in the morning right after Katy tried to get him to use the potty and he refused (could have been an accident)... The second time was 10 minutes later after she got him in a new, dry outfit... The following exchange occurred:

Kt: (to JB in the 2nd wet outfit of the day): What's going on? Why didn't you ask to go potty?
JB: (offhandedly gesturing to the wet spot on his pants) Sometimes it happens...

Then at day care, he did it again.

Who cares. We don't. But the kid is potty trained, he knows exactly what he's doing.

ML is just beautiful. He's such a happy baby. He smiles all the time and laughs and is generally mellow yellow. He is huge and we've nicknamed him "Hoss." Needing an equally cool nickname for his brother, JB has been dubbed "Slim".

As in:
Mom #1: Which one do you want to get out of the car?
Mom #2: I'll take Hoss. You get slim...

I am going to bed now, 'cause I'm sure this cycle of rational sleeping patterns cannot continue for an entire 24 hours.
;-)

This is a week for catching up with the writing on the blog, I can just feel it!!!

011110

I am loving these new dates...

People wait thousands of years for this type of symmetry!!!

Blog abandonment

Yes, we are still alive...

We've had house guests and family visiting since the 19th. The new home is housing this mayhem and merriment swimmingly. The boys and their beds have been moved several times with very few negative effects. At the busiest (Christmas) there were 9 of us here; the four
of us (kt, JB, ML, and me) all in our room.

Kt's dad (g'pa) came the sat before Christmas (19th) thru the 26th. "The grannies" arrived on the 23rd with Kt's brother, Josh, and his fiancé, Linda. J and L left with g'pa. The grannies are here for 2 more weeks to help us keep ML out of day care a little longer.

Kt started back to work last Monday. Originally, she wasn't going to go back until Next week, but a slow start has it's benefits. Plus, she got pd for 5 days, but only had to work 2.75 days. It's a mountain of madness to fall back into., but she's handling it well. It has been a crazy time but by now, I think we are getting used to crazy times. I have a lot to blog about, but not a lot of awake time that isn't consumed by my desire to suck the marrow out of these precious times with these adorable boys. I've been lucky too to spend some time with good peeps and also catching up on some movies and HBO.

Thank you to all GSO readers. You have been an amazing source of support to us in 2009. Thank u for being a part of our extended family.

Sent from my iPhone

Neuro check

JB's been having night terrors. He wakes up 2 or 3 times a night screaming and crying. There's a chance this would have happened anyway, but I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner with all of the changes in the last few months. He's been potty training too- so there's that, in terms of stress. And Katy and I would both give odds that his ears are full and he'll need tubes again.

Despite all this, he is doing pretty good in underwear. Yesterday we had a shit-storm blow out, LITERALLY. But that only happened once before and this time it was really my fault... I mean, it was the first time he even SAW a remote control car... I'm surprised his head didn't explode. I should'a been toileting him every ten minutes.

Today was ML's neuro follow up. I cried this morning (partially) in anticipation. It was really all that we hoped for:
1) He looks great
2) He's growing out of his phenobarbital dose, so we'll titrate that down to gone.
3) A repeat EEG is unnecessary unless he has more seizures.
4) A repeat MRI would only be for "curiosity's sake" and isn't worth the risks associated with necessary sedation as long as he continues to develop normally.
5) Developmentally, he seems normal.

He's such a sweet, happy baby, it's hard to imagine there could be anything wrong with him. The stressful part has not been imagining how it might be if there were something wrong with his brain (you've seen the videos of him singing... Who really gives a shit if that's who he is, that's who he is)... The stressful part has been imagining how it might be to have to watch him be poked and prodded, and tested for more of his life.

It is a relief, but it is also an exhausted exhalation that will not entirely give up the concern until he is long off the Meds without any more seizure activity.

Sent from my iPhone

20 months old

You know your colors- all of them... it is freaky-cool.
You love drawing.

You had two weeks of mood swing hell, then we had 3 weeks of adorable bliss...
and then you learned the word MINE...

You are so sweet with kisses and hugs.

You are so cautious on stairs that we know you won't go with out us and we have to encourage you to climb and be daring.

You love standing on a chair to watch us cook

There's a spot of white paint in the corner of our kitchen near the ceiling, on the wood molding. One day you noticed it and said "Eee-u-www."
Then the next day, you were looking for your shoes: "Shoes? mama? mommy? Shoes?" then you walked into the kitchen where they were... you pointed at your shoes and said, "Shoes." Then you pointed at the clock and said, "clock". Then you pointed at the tiny scar of paint and named it, "Eee-u-ww."

You will stop what you are doing to point to that splosh of paint, like you are saying hi to a family pet whose was named after the noise you make when you encounter something disgusting "Eee-u-ww."

You have some kind of strange accent (that is adorable): pen... paper (sounds like peen, paypurr)
You count to 10- no problem and sometimes go a little higher

You have memorized the months of the year... I learned this when I was bragging that your cousin, Cameron knew them, and when I was trying to show her off, you piped in and named them too.

You officially eat everything - We let you eat whatever we eat except we have avoided giving you bacon and hot dogs. (You'll probably hate us for holding out on you in this department, but trust us once you have bacon, all other healthier foods will be ruined.)

You have the ability to literally bring grand parents to tears with your patented "2-handed-kiss" Where you put both your little hands on either side of their face and pull them toward you for a wet smooch on the lips...

You are a doll! and we love you,
Mommy and Mama

Living like a Pharaoh

For this one, I'll have to create a new label. How about: "Things I never expected to happen".
We were away all weekend, drove 6 hours home in sleet and nearly freezing rain. JB didn't like the car enough for that to be a joyous ride. He was going a little stir crazy and we couldn't go directly home because our house was being shown at the time we expected to arrive.

So needless to say, his internal clocks and sleep cycle and eating schedules were all messed up. At about 3pm, he seemed so tired (or maybe hungry, but because it seemed like he had eaten enough, we assumed tired) that we put him down for a nap. He slept for about 30 minutes and woke up in a state. JB was crying, shaking, screaming. Not feverish or obviously in pain, just distraught. We tried food, refused. We tried several types of food, then binkie, then everything we could think of. He acted like a rookie southpaw shaking off the catcher. His refusals got more physical and his crying turned into hysterics and what can only be described as a fit.

We decided to peel off his clothes and steep him in a bath in the sink because he has my tendency to calm in warm water. JB seemed to momentarily approve and then was overcome by his disgust for us and tried to kill himself by repeatedly attempting to smash his head on the porcelain walls of the sink. Then katy had the brainstorm... to the shower we ran. While I held his soaked, naked, wailing body, she and I undressed me and I carried him into the shower...

There, he clutched me, and quicker than I expected, calmed right down. His legs were up near his chest. His arms wrapped in a death grip around my neck. His head laid heavy on my shoulder. After a few moments, my back started to ache, but his breathing slowed and his muscles relaxed. Then, it was all chill for 3, 4, 6 minutes. And Katy and I agreed that if we pulled him out of there in his current state of hunger, things might just fall apart. So while I held him in the shower, Katy spoon fed him the Italian wedding soup we had tried to pass off earlier.

I would do anything for this kid, but I really never thought it would look like this... stripped out of my clothes on a moment's notice to hop into the shower- yes, obviously. The meal under a sprinkle of warm comforting water- um, okay, but a little unexpected.

The real surprise, though, was how sweet and beautiful it was. How content and happy he became as the food filled his empty belly. I made katy feed him the entire bowl because I just didn't want the moment to end. One of the sweetest most unanticipated experiences I've had yet...

But seriously, who gets a bowl of homemade soup IN the shower?

Look who's talking

Cam Cam, 9 days from her first birthday, has a list of multisyllable words she can say, including: baby, Elmo, alligator... i shit you not.

Jake's really into the sound "o" right now.

But I guess that blows the (already debunked by mac theory) that a binki might "inhibit language skills".

Anyway, with the election 4 weeks away and the economy in the toilet Kt announced from our bed this morning:

"I have 2 messages for the world... One, CamCam can talk. Two everyone needs to take a xanax and chill the fuck out" (NPR music playing in the background.)

When my super-calm, never anxiety-prone wife is telling the world the "c-t-f-out" we might have a national crisis on our hands.

12 day radio silence

We're still here. I have about 5 posts half started but incomplete. Lots has happened including the baby's first birthday. Stay tuned...

Solid weekend

We were around for most of the weekend and that meant a lot of stuff got done.

I just finished making some dinners for the boy and for the mommies to get the week off to a good start. Today we went to church; drove to hippie-lesbo-ville to visit some friends; had a great lunch bbq, helped Dr. T move into her new apt; and very nearly got to golf (couldn't quite be in 3 places at once...)

Yesterday, we puttered and shopped a little. I got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed the kitchen floor tile by tile linoleum square by linoleum square with a sponge. It was awesome in it's filth! Then we got take out Indian food yumyum yum-yum.

Day Care is quiet

When we picked JB's day care, we chose one in the town of Midpoint. Midpoint is half way between my work and home. It is also the town I grew up in, play softball in, and and the town my parents, grandparents, and sister & BIL live. Our day care was Mac and Cam's day care and that seemed like a good place for JB too- with his cousins.

Coxsackie spread like a wildfire through the place last week. Cam got it and JB got it too, though b/c he was home with Katy all week and b/c he only had one day of fever and the late arrival of a rash, we didn't know that until his pediatric appointment yesterday.

Cam was sick, my sister was away, and my mom is off for the summer, so the girls were at Nana and Papa's house all last week. Also, because of a self-imposed quarantine (thinking the boy had not been exposed) we stayed away all week. This week, there was a pre-arranged "week of potty training" for Mac-attack that has prolonged the sabbatical from day care for my nieces. (They are both at nana and papa's again b/c my mom cannot stand "leaving one behind," and at our day care, we can arrange a week at 1/2 off the day care price if you give notice that the kids will be out for a pre-planned 5 day stretch, unrelated to illness.)

I'm not sure if JB even notices it, but day care is quiet and lonely without my (sister's) girls there. Even pick up (despite JB's hugs and smiles) is little empty when there is no shout of "TeeeeeeeeTeeeee."

Drop off is even more depressing without my morning hug from Mac and wave from Cam... Driving away this AM, I pouted in silence most of the way to work.

For the love of quarters

Yesterday, I stopped at my favorite orange and pink logo-ed fast food coffee joint to pick up an over-sugared, high fat vehicle for caffeine and a starchy, eggy with porky thingy.

The total was $5.97. I immediately started the mental arithmetic to calculate which tiny coins I could unload in order to secure the highest number of quarters in change. I have an irrational affinity for quarters. I would rather have 3 quarters than just about any other combination of coins worth more than seventy-five cents. At in the drive through window, I handed the lady a five dollar bill and 47 cents in pennies, nickels, and dimes.

She returned to me a one dollar bill with a smile and a "thank you."

I stammered a protest... "No, that's too much... I gave you $0.47"

She smiled at me the way one might smile at a midget recounting his slam-dunking prowess.

I waved the crisp bill at her, "You only owe me fifty cents."

Putting both her hands up, she seemed to want to remind me to keep calm. As I stammered on, her dazed smile revealed a glimmer of fatigue. With disbelief that I had not yet driven away, her pity-filled eyes mocked my enthusiasm. "Really?" she might as well have asked, "You slam it in there without a trampoline or even a spring board???"

I looked at the dollar and then at her and sadly resigned myself to the fact that there would be no quarters for me during this transaction. Plainly I told her, "You gave me too much money back."

"Don't worry about it." She added, "Have a good day."

As I pulled away, I had to remind myself a few times, "one dollar is better than 2 quarters." It didn't feel like the victory-rush "found" money provides a rational person.

When I told kt the story, she reminded me of the dude on the street a few weeks ago who "sold" me 2 quarters for a dollar. I was searching for money for a parking meter and he didn't have 4 quarters. Rather than offer me the standard, "Don't worry about it," that I sort of expected, he picked up my dollar and said, these will have to do. Then he dropped 2 coins into my palm. For me, there was no economic reason to protest that transaction. I only needed 2 quarters and I was happy to take a fifty cent loss to prevent a $25 parking ticket.

From my perspective, I'm now down 4 quarters. Though the karma of quarters is profoundly imbalanced, it's funny that the universe found a way to return 50 cents to me.

My recently purchased purse

For those of you who won't believe I've made this leap... I just want to say, once you get used to carrying a diaper bag... it is hard to use only your pockets to store all the crap you've gotten used to carrying around.

In honor of Patrick's birthday...

I'm still working on the baby's newsletter. It was mostly done but I couldn't get it completed to post it on the 28th (though, thanks to the time stamp, history will show me to be more prompt than I am...)

I had a rough week last week... the honeymoon phase of "back to work" is fading fast and I'm experiencing a lot of emotions, tears, and anxiety. I've felt a little like I'm falling apart, even though the last week was particularly full of amazing times with family and friends and conversations that show how vast my support network is at work, home, and across the nation...

Examples:
1) KK's award ceremony for being a big sister a week ago Thursday. I was so hormonal proud, inspired, and in love with her, that I cried like a baby.
2) Jake's church dedication and the brunch with loved ones that followed
3) Phone call from L in the middle of the week:

L: I've been reading the blog. You don't seem so good.
Me: I haven't said anything on the blog
L: I can read between the radio silence... you're tired, you're sickie, you're trying not to fall apart...
Me: hmm. It's good to have intuitive friends, even if they do move across the country.
L: you should call the Indian- she'll talk you down from your noose.
Me: I'm not gonna do that.
L: I'll make her call you.

4) Phone calls from LAC and the Indian to support "whatever you decide about breast feeding."
5) Katy and JB just being such awesome beings to come home to...

Anyway, in the last 3 days, I've done 2 things I've never done before in my life:
ONE: called out of work to take a yoga class.
I was seriously on edge, and while I believe wholeheartedly in "mental health days," I can barely get past the guilt to actually take one myself. When I had a split second vision of needing to take a vacation in the loony bin during one of the "wake up" calls after midnight on Friday am, I decided it might be beneficial for everyone to just take a sick day. The yoga was a very practical solution. I needed to stretch and breathe.

Then today... number TWO: I went rock climbing!!! I've been wanting to do this for about 5 years. Thanks be to God that L.Marg (hard G) and C-lo have jumped into this sport because not only has this long anticipated event finally occurred for me (because of their invitation today) but also, I'm not sure I could have handled the harness humor without their back up jokes on my first outing.

It is altogether fitting that it is Pat's birthday... I think I kicked a little ass today, brother!
I impressed myself at least which (since I have spent the better part of two work weeks beating the shit out of my psychological self) is pretty fantastic!

Thanks peeps! Happy birthday, Mr. White.

Not meant to be...

I've been looking for the right sized, silver hoop earrings for the better half of a year.
I finally found them less than 2 weeks ago. My last pair of hoops stayed in my ears- with me practically never taking them out at all- for several years. When one of those broke, the first few days without my earrings in were like the first few showers after an extreme haircut.

So finally, I find the pair I like. I buy them. I put them in...

And yesterday, JB sticks his hand up, puts his finger thru the hoop (very impressive, developmentally) and pulls. The earring falls to the ground, through the slats of the ground-level deck...

Bye-bye, earring.
I think it's time to start baby-proofing the house too.