Happy New Year!!!

*
You would not F#@king believe what my kids are doing right now!?!

They are in the kitchen, 1 room away- playing together. Playing a game of their own mutual, instinctive invention; complete with spontaneous changes of position and offensive/defensive posturing. This game seems to be oddly competitive AND collaborative. There is no scoring, but nameless points seem to be earned by 1) Amount of noise made, 2) Ability to make your brother laugh, 3) Skillful kicking moves to propel a kid-sized yoga ball across the room, 4) Incorporation of kitchen furniture in the field of play.

There are power blocks and time-outs for body poses and setting up the next play. There's a scream during every maneuver and belly-giggles at every play's completion. There's a lot of wordless NOISE punctuated by bellows of "COME! ON! JAY! KEY!" (from Milo) and "YOU LIKE THAT, MI-MI?!?" (from Jake) and "HUT 1, HUT 2, HUT 3, HIKE!" (from both). The game they are playing is nothing like football, but somehow that stance and protocol has an obvious place in their contest.

Katy and I are (watching the Patriots play the game that will hopefully get them back into the Superbowl and) trying to stay out of the boys' game. But at the 37th (or so) minute mark, we are pretty sure there will be a head smacking against a wall and ensuing tears to pause or end the game at any minute. I can't believe my wife is okay with this volume, but the times they are a'changing and it is fairly awe-inspiring to see these little boys collaborating and entertaining each other with such gusto.

It's been a long time since I've blogged. There have been a lot of changes in my life- that can simply be summarized by saying I started a new job. I have been working my ass off, Katy has been working her ass off to support me in this new endeavor. Things have been in motion since the summer when I first interviewed for the position. Getting the job and negotiating the offer, making the decision to leave my old job and then transitioning out of a place that I have been for nearly 8 years- leaving co-workers that had become some of my best friends; starting a new job 7 weeks ago right before the holidays, this has been A LOT. It was the right decision for me, but this weekend, my body cried, "Uncle". I'm exhausted with a fairly significant cold. I spent most of the last two days working up to intermittent bursts of energy that were used to shovel freshly fallen snow, go sledding with the family, and run a few errands. The rest of the time, I have been reading and laying around with a heavy, drippy head and stuffed sinus cavities that left me feeling woozy and weak. I feel a little better now, but not quite ready to start the work week again.

Blogging more regularly was not a New Year's resolution this year, there were too many other New Year's resolutions that had to take precedence, but I really miss it and and intend to pay a bit more attention to it, now that I have gotten my toes submerged at the new job.

If you are still reading and checking in at the GSO, thank you! I've really missed spending some time with you here in this space. I can't wait to catch you up on the boys- they are so freaking cute and amazing... I just don't think I could love them any more than I do!


*Both photos are copyrighted and courtesy of our friend and photographer, Joey Jones. He's a great guy and does great work, check it out

Superbowl VW ad - PREVIEW!

My favorite part except for the tension in the tiny hands, is the perfectly-expressioned parents... with less than 10 seconds of air time, they perfectly capture what it feels like to live with a toddler...

I've watched this 1/2 a dozen times all ready!!!

Season opener

Hey sports fans, it is that time of year again...
We won the first game of the season last night in a crusher 10-3.

If you have ever followed this bloggy-here thing in the summer-ish months, you know how much I love this team. You also know that winning our first game... this is a big JOE$#&%BIDEN deal! Well, not really a big deal as in "we care so much about winning", but a big "it doesn't usually happen this way" kind of thing.

Last night there were a lot of unusual events aside from throwing one in the "W" column...
1) We fielded a team of 10 plus a designated hitter (without a problem)
2) Did I mention we won
3) It was the first time in about 10 years that there were more than 5 infant/toddler tykes running around (thanks to the birth of ML and the concurrent attendance of Jess, Web and Katy and me.)

When I started playing on this team, there were swarms of offspring out there every night. Back then, I was 30 (okay 60) lbs lighter and was the "next generation"...

I sat on the curb after games for 2 seasons before I took a beer out of the cooler caddy to avoid a "10-9" (that's the town ordnance for underage drinking.) Sadly, that's not even a lie... some of my teammates were friends of my parents and I didn't want any trouble for me or anyone else.

At that time it was all we could do to keep our heads in the game:

Nancy: Robert, keep your sister away from the dumpster.
Deb: WHERE'S FRANKIE?!?
Nancy2: Are the twins okay on this blanket?
Kim: They're fine, my kids will watch them.
Nancy: COURTNEY!!! GET OUT OF THE ROAD!
Me: (Trying to warn about the approaching line-drives to these mommies who were trying to play ball and keep their kids out of traffic.) TWO OUT, PEOPLE... THE PLAY IS AT FIRST OR SECOND BASE...

Oh yeah, i was all business. But only because I didn't want anyone to get hurt.

I distinctly remember one ice cream truck arrival in the middle of the 4th inning, bases loaded, 2 outs, the insane music vamps in a slow crescendo from somewhere in the distance and the kids start to revolt. one mom and then another and then a few more until we had no defense for a few minutes because everyone was scraping coins together for treats...

So here I am all these years later, and I just didn't see this coming. I remember thinking, "this is the way to do it" as I saw sisters and cousins and neighbors playing and raising their kids together... and I can't honestly say, "the years have flown by"; I mean, these have been long fought and hard won years of falling in love and working and family making...

But somehow, I am now one of the elders.

The original moms are the team "aunties", sisters and wives and cousins have joined and we have brought forth on this field a new generation of Play-yas... Between Jess's boys and our boys and my sister's girls, and Amber's daughter and am I missing anyone??? We have an entire gaggle of babies, all over again.

I hope the new girls (and by "new girls" I mean the young women who were kind enough to merge with our team a few years back to give us a shot at avoiding a 2 times-a-week ass-whooping with accompanying trips to the ER every other week) I hope they don't tire of our kids running around, swinging wiffle bats too close to the on deck circle; children whining when their moms have to go into the field; our little Boos- sometimes listening and playing the part of adorable bat-boy/girl, and sometimes, throwing a tantrum for no apparent reason.

I assure my younger teammates that if they stick with it, it will come back to them ten-fold b/c when they take their turns at child rearing, we will be here to pay it forward... or backward... or however it goes.

But until then, I hope they don't mind that I am sometimes going to shout, silly things from the field like, "YOUR COUSIN'S NOSE IS NOT FOR YOU TO PICK!!!" and they might sometimes here things like:
"DO NOT TAKE YOUR UNDERWEAR OFF!!! JUST SIT ON THE POTTY CHAIR AND PULL THEM BACK UP WHEN YOU ARE DONE." When I should instead be quietly backing up the shortstop at 2nd base...

I hope the "retired" but dedicated former members of the team don't hold it against us that they are not done chasing toddlers around this field... 2 decades later they are still scooping kids up out of the way and digging through their bags to pay the ice cream man.

I hope last night was not my mom's last visit to the field, because really, Nana is not afraid to tether herself to her grand kids... to the great benefit of both me AND my children .

And most importantly, I hope that I keep up this batting percentage (so far = 1.000; 4 times up; 3 hits; one walk) to compensate for my not-so-"lightening"-speed, for the fact that i seem to have "forgotten how to throw", and for the havoc that our "lifestyle choices" have reeked on my ability to concentrate on the team, the game, and the cooler caddy afterward.

Today, I am sore. But as usually happens the day after a game... I am feeling incredibly grateful for this group of women that I am lucky enough to call my friends.

PLAY BALL!

Hey batter batter

This is JB and ML pretending to play baseball in our kitchen...
Katy helps ML "throw" an imaginary ball, and JB swings and hits the ball...
ML is laughing so hard he seems in physical pain.
This is how he is with JB. There are times he is cranky and times he doesn't want to play because he need to sleep or reduce hunger or some other basic need outlined by Maslow at the base of the pyramid... but usually all gets put aside if JB is acting like JB around ML...




I love these kids.
(and their mama)!

Mama's home

The family is back together :)
Katy is back from her conference...

I have a lot more respect for single parents than I did before.
This week I drove 750 miles in 5 days: A trip to Boston to see the Sox get annihilated (first time in Fenway park in more than 4 years) and then a trip to RI for work. The day I had to travel for work, I had to have Nana do a day care drop off at 7:15am and the poor dude (JB) was at work camp from 7:15am to 5:15pm.

What our electrical gadgets are trying to tell us

If you looked at our DVR, you might conclude that DNC convention is part of the Olympics. For the last several weeks, we have recorded hours of Olympic events every night- some still remaining on the "My recorded programs" menu. For the last few nights, we have recorded hours of political coverage. The Democratic nominating convention is my idea of sport. ("Sports" are Katy's idea of sport.) I cannot handle the din of the crowd broadcast during live sporting events. Katy cannot handle the talking heads broadcast during political events. She also cannot handle Hillary supporters who will not "let it go" or the media lug-heads who constantly remind us of those supporters' existence. I'm kind of like, "Everyone's got a right to their opinion- even those Floridians that voted for Ralph Nader in 2004 and 2000."

Every time we put our ipod on shuffle this week, chapters from The Audacity of Hope spontaneously start playing. Katy: Do you think our ipod is trying to tell us something???

Shark

I know I shouldn't say this as we are about to visit the beach, but Michael Phelps has more teeth than any water creature I've ever seen...

I want to love and respect him in a pure, unadulterated way like the rest of America, but I am afraid he will chomp thru the TV screen and tear away at my limbs and flesh. I'm sure training to be the best swimmer in the world and perhaps the most winning-est Olympiad ever- all before the tender age of 24 has kept him busy... But really? No time for an orthodontist appointment? Or just a quick tooth extraction to give his chiseled jaw a break? I would think Nik.e would make this endeavor worth his while... god forbid he goes nuts at a photo shoot and breaks through the Plexiglas and snacks on all the photographers and commercial production staff.



Seriously. This guy is unbelievable. And he seems so nice. Obviously I'm kidding about taking some of his teeth out- It would probably cause him to lose some of his superpowers- not worth the risk AT.ALL.

I'm sure there's several rows of choppers in there anyway...

Speaking of the Olympics, I might not have mentioned that I'm living with an addict. Katy has watched all or part of the Beijing opening ceremonies three times. If we did not own a DVR, we would have had to purchase one for this televised event. There are like 40 channels and round the clock coverage. For the prime time footage, she makes herself wait to give the live coverage an hour or two head start and watches in a staccato frenzy of 10 second fast forward. I can't even follow the action via this method and can't figure out whose winning or losing. But she can some how still absorb the billions of factoids and background trivia surrounding the athletes and games:

T: Those unitard-suits look so silly
K: Those are Speed.o's New LZR ("laser") racer suits. That's the Bodyskin model... That's the Legskin model... Micheal Phelps was allowed by Nik.e to wear non-swish apparel because this is the fastest suit ever invented and the technology is patented.
T: (trying not to mock her geekish retention of Olympic facts for the 700 millionth and 1st time in a week) Is it really more comfortable to swim with all of that on? Why don't they just wrap themselves in some parachute nylon and a down comforter.
K: (not amused or even distracted from her 10 second, fast forward, remote controlled, games surfing) The elastane-nylon and polyurethane - Gore-tex allows for better oxygen flow to the muscles, and holds the body in a more hydrodynamic position, while repelling water. The seams of the suit are ultrasonically welded to further reduce drag. (She states sounding like a wikepedia entry.)
T: It doesn't bother you that that gore tex might get all tangled up in his teeth?
K: (no response)
T: Like a turtle caught in one of those plastic rings that hold six-packs of soda together?
K: (Watching the TV intently)
T: He COULD DIE!!!
K: (nothing)
T: WHAT ABOUT THE LITTLE CHILDREN?!?
K: (Hitting the fast forward button like she is playing a video game, ignoring non-essential, non-olympic noises...)
T: I think these suits should be banned.
K: (Speaking as if more trivia will shut me up) The suit can lower racing times by 1.9 to 2.2 percent...
T: Textile Doping- I'm surprised the cyclists haven't started eating these suits yet.

Our basement flooded. It likely has something to do with not cleaning the gutters for several years. Oh yeah, and from all the rain we've been getting too. What a mess. It gives a whole new meaning to "1/2 finished basement."

Also, today (well, now, yesterday...) my birthday twin had a miscarriage. Will write more about it later, but it is very sad and very, very... well, sad.

In other parts of the world, the Olympics opened in Beijing. Katy is an Olympics addict. She is thrilled and plans to DVR the games day and night. I am amazed by her tenacity and the picayune details she has managed to memorize about the competitions and the athletes.

Winning stragegy

By the way, a few helpings of prunes ended the over-emphasized constipation days ago.

Tonight at softball, we lost. But it felt like we won.

It was one of those hot, humid, wish-it-would-storm-so-that-it-will-cool-off kind of nights... It was pretty sweaty. I played outfield twice this week and I'm having a good time with it; though never really having played it before, i have some trouble judging the balls. Yesterday, JB was with us at the field, tonight Katy took him home to spend some time together.

Katy has been catching this year during the games- she started doing this last year, but now it has become her position. I'm kind of proud at how her game has improved. She is athletic and all that but never really played softball. So there I am on a softball team with my wife and my sister- both of whom are kind of interested in exhibiting perfection at all times, but neither of whom have ever played ball before. It's a little nerve-racking because I want them to do well, and I want to help, but I don't want to get involved in "advising" too much... and also, I am now not only worried about my own safety, but that one of these two might get injured.

I think I mentioned, I got my sister to join the team this year because, we are trying to look for ways to spend time together that don't involve eating (cooler caddy discounted) and also, as I know I have mentioned, my team is dripping with multi-generational awesomeness. Though I live 1/2 hour away from the fields, my sister lives in the same town and it felt like time to bring her into the fold.

I love my teammates for the way they give everyone a chance and the way they open up the welcome wagon of inclusiveness and societal responsibilities. When you are on this team, you bring cooler caddy at least once a season and that includes non-alcoholic libations and some type of snickitty snacks. No one barks or murmurs whether you bring a bag of chips or smoked tuna-steak finger sandwiches. There's no hierarchy, competition or score keeping when it comes to what you share or are able to provide. Any and all snarkiness is above-board and direct, and meant in good fun. If you want to be on the team, you are invited to the parties and to the frequent volunteer opportunities, and to the wakes/funerals/sick beds of loved ones. There is an extensive network of skills and services available via 'mates and spouses. Here's where we got our mortgage refinanced, found life insurance, found bands to sing with and hire, learned to play golf. There's someone connected to furniture, carpentry, motorcycles, lots of teachers, paving, court and field painting, trash collection, real estate, hardware, politics, it goes on and on. Here I've taught teenagers how to drive stick shift and stuck a few in coolers and trash cans when they were misbehaving (all without getting in trouble with my friends- because the governing rule over kids at games seems to be- "on this team you will find your surrogate parents, aunts, and cousins... open up a can of worms with someone and you'll have to work it out with that person... don't expect me to come fix it...")

In the many years I've been on the team, there have been about 1/2 dozen new teammates that didn't make it and that was only because they were unfriendly, overly-competitive, poor sports, (or in that one case) truly creepy:
"I guess you and I will have to sleep together in the single bed..."
umm... no. no we won't...

I digress.

Tonight, my sister played 2nd base. She's a "rules" person. As in, tell me the rules of how to do well, and I'll follow them to the tee... and then I'll do well. She has trouble doing things that don't have rules (like taking an unplanned out walk through an amusement park or big city, for example.) She also does well when there are layered, simultaneous goals: "Get the ball and play your position,:" for example, right alongside "get on base", and "win the game". During softball (I think this was her fourth game ever) she screams a lot more than I am used to. I mean, most SB players don't scream, and frankly, my sister doesn't scream much either... but in 2 or 3 plays tonight, she actually yelped out little screams. Like when a woman sees a spider on TV... The ball was heading to her glove: "ahhhhhhhhhea!" Huh? what was that?

But she got on base 3 times (3 times more than me) and I stopped counting after her 2nd put out of the game. Pretty fan-#$cing-tastic. Highlight quote of the game:

web: "Come on, ladies, we have 1 MF out."

Oh yeah, she's intense... the thing is, when you're surrounded by these people, laughing and sucking wind while running around in the outfield, it's hard to care or pay any mind to the score.

Momentous day!

1) The California supreme court ruled that a ban on same sex marriage is unconstitutional. This is a big deal. I got butterflies, goose pimples, and choked up when i read various parts in the ruling. I am now avoiding media reporting and interpretation of the document because I know that it will come with a ton of backlash and many asshats feeling self righteous and tripping over themselves to go on record to spew all kinds of "unChristian" anti-gay nonsense.

2) First game of the softball season. We won.
No. You don't understand...
We.
Won.

That is like, well it is sort of like the CA SC making a ruling in support of same sex marriage (on the Richter Scale of big news, i mean.)

More to follow on our awesome team (who won in the bottom of the 7th inning) later. But I need to point out the season opener contained solid at bat performances by K to the T (behind the plate for the duration) Web and C-lo. The latter two appearing in their first official game and between them, catching EVERY SINGLE BALL that was hit to Right field.

Strong work, Ladies!

In honor of Patrick's birthday...

I'm still working on the baby's newsletter. It was mostly done but I couldn't get it completed to post it on the 28th (though, thanks to the time stamp, history will show me to be more prompt than I am...)

I had a rough week last week... the honeymoon phase of "back to work" is fading fast and I'm experiencing a lot of emotions, tears, and anxiety. I've felt a little like I'm falling apart, even though the last week was particularly full of amazing times with family and friends and conversations that show how vast my support network is at work, home, and across the nation...

Examples:
1) KK's award ceremony for being a big sister a week ago Thursday. I was so hormonal proud, inspired, and in love with her, that I cried like a baby.
2) Jake's church dedication and the brunch with loved ones that followed
3) Phone call from L in the middle of the week:

L: I've been reading the blog. You don't seem so good.
Me: I haven't said anything on the blog
L: I can read between the radio silence... you're tired, you're sickie, you're trying not to fall apart...
Me: hmm. It's good to have intuitive friends, even if they do move across the country.
L: you should call the Indian- she'll talk you down from your noose.
Me: I'm not gonna do that.
L: I'll make her call you.

4) Phone calls from LAC and the Indian to support "whatever you decide about breast feeding."
5) Katy and JB just being such awesome beings to come home to...

Anyway, in the last 3 days, I've done 2 things I've never done before in my life:
ONE: called out of work to take a yoga class.
I was seriously on edge, and while I believe wholeheartedly in "mental health days," I can barely get past the guilt to actually take one myself. When I had a split second vision of needing to take a vacation in the loony bin during one of the "wake up" calls after midnight on Friday am, I decided it might be beneficial for everyone to just take a sick day. The yoga was a very practical solution. I needed to stretch and breathe.

Then today... number TWO: I went rock climbing!!! I've been wanting to do this for about 5 years. Thanks be to God that L.Marg (hard G) and C-lo have jumped into this sport because not only has this long anticipated event finally occurred for me (because of their invitation today) but also, I'm not sure I could have handled the harness humor without their back up jokes on my first outing.

It is altogether fitting that it is Pat's birthday... I think I kicked a little ass today, brother!
I impressed myself at least which (since I have spent the better part of two work weeks beating the shit out of my psychological self) is pretty fantastic!

Thanks peeps! Happy birthday, Mr. White.

Softball

Last night was our first softball practice... My first since 2006 as I did not play at all when I was pregnant. It was the perfect night weather-wise and felt good to get out there! The soreness this am feels good.

I've mentioned the team here and here, and here. I've played on this team for many, many (too many to mention years)... And yet, yesterday was the first time I ever remember taking an infield practice. Some of players have decided they are too old and should "retire to the sidelines." This saddens me a little but coincides perfectly with our family's recent need for field-side child care.

Also, my sister has joined Kt and me on the team. Yesterday's practice marks the 2nd time in her life Web has grabbed a glove and taken the field. The 1st was when i was in jr high school and we only had 8 players. Her 7 inning stint in right field prevented a forfeit.

I was proud of her last night. She hit decent, laughed at herself, and I could tell she spent 80-90% of the practice mentally calculating her personal "improvement strategy."

I love summer-time.

Long days, tired nights

March madness is underway.

Normally this time of year I received a handwritten note from my wife with a listing of times and dates that she will "be unavailable" due to basketball viewing.

This year, there's a lot of bball on my TV, but no list- we're just not back to that level of organization.

JB is recovering well. He's on day 8 of amox. Kt's got him trained like a pet seal... We hold the syringe of pink syrup in front of him and wait for him to bring it to his own mouth. It takes us about 4 to 5 mini-squirts, but he swallows it all without a fuss, mess, or any drama. It is amazing really. He is back to drinking his full amount to breast milk, though he still is rejecting our attempts to re-introduce cereal and smooshed up veggies.

He has been waking up either at 2 or 3 and then again at 5 or 6. He has been so tired from work camp day care that he starts to do his "tired" fussing at 7 and not 8pm. We are going to bed around 10 or 11 (a good 3 hours after him), and so our asses are dragging. But even though I am sleep deprived, I am truly happy. This kid, our life... it's everything I hoped for and more. He giggles. He likes to play. He's all ready developing a sense of humor. He reflects the sweetness in kt's smiles and gives me a mischievous laugh when i come at him to "nibble" roughly on his neck or belly.

As I write this, I am thoroughly exhausted, but I just wanted to take a few minutes to document the paradox: tired, achy, sore, not exercising enough, eating too much, stressed by work, only sleeping 3-5 hrs at a time= happy=blessed

Welcome young sports fans...

Well, it looks like JB couldn't care less about the Pat's game...
Thanks be to God that Katy has someone to share the love of the hum-of-the-crowd with!!!

Champions of the World

No sleep for a true fan

I'm too old (and too sleep deprived) to keep these post-season hours...

BUT... I can't help myself... Our beloved Red Sox are up 3 games to nothing, and barring catastrophe, it looks like Theo Epstein might be building an empire.

Season of Victory and bliss???

Game three.: tonight at 8pm... it's getting good!

Rain, Rain, Go Away

Our beloved Red Sox are fighting the good fight in the first game of the 2007 World Series, but it is pouring in Bean Town. Here's hoping that they don't call the game until it is official- which happens after 5 complete innings.

Right now, it's the bottom of the 4th. Red Sox 4, Rockies 1. Beckett is pitching an awesome game so far; and the offense is getting it done.

As a long time Bosox fan, I am used to regularly scheduled heartache. But last time they won the World Series was the year that Web and I both got married, and it would be a really nice welcome gift to celebrate the birth of our two new babies...

"2007, JB- the fall you were born was the last time they won it all." I can imagine my spittle-filled, dentured mouth yammering to my adult son. Plus, doesn't this guy have any pull in heaven?!?

getting your news from ESPN

I heard about the highway collapse in Minneapolis only by virtue of the cancellation of the Minnesota Twins baseball game. I've given up watching the news for the most part these days. Last week I sought it out every minute of the day but now I'm done being overwhelmed by information and trying to let it settle out a little.

So, I've been getting my news from ESPN SportsCenter. Tracy loves this. Somewhere in her nightmares I'm positive there's a dream that we have 6 TVs and all of them are playing some version of ESPN. And I'm right there in the middle giggling with joy.

For the folks at home

This won't be as entertaining as the last post, but I wanted to give a shout out to the softball peeps before I head to bed... love you gals!