WTF!!!

IF AL-Freaking-GORE had said anything close to this when he ran for president 8 years ago, I think I would have quit my job and followed him around the country!!!

It's not only the blatant, comprehensive support for gay marriage, it's that he pieced together an honest opinion, a cogent thought, took a side, made a stand...
Also, he sounds a little gay... it's hot!

I-chatting, the new pony-express

So the coolest, new way to grandmother long-distance (and yes, "grandmother" is a verb) is to get online with a web-cam and ichat... We do this with Kt's parents at least once a week, and it is pretty awesome.

Tonight I realized that JB likes to look at himself in the little preview box which is kind of interesting b/c it is so much smaller than the full screen picture. So, he might need to be told the story of Narcissus later on, but for now I think it's exciting that he can see and he recognizes himself or "a baby" that he is interested in.

Isn't technology grand?!?

Welcome young sports fans...

Well, it looks like JB couldn't care less about the Pat's game...
Thanks be to God that Katy has someone to share the love of the hum-of-the-crowd with!!!

Laundry update

Things are getting out of hand...

Today, JB shit through 3 separate outfits. This is not poor diapering, people... This is just unlucky and forceful spraying of excrement. Also, he required 4 bibs and a 4th costume change due to excessive drool and spit up.

I wore the same soiled shirt all day, but before I was even dressed this am, I had to shrug my soft, soft bathrobe off to protect it from all kinds of accidents. Half-naked this AM, I struggled to keep his shitty diaper contained, and when projectile spit up was added to the recipe, I jumped back and knocked over the bottle of liquid, infant multivitamins (not a good smell, or a good look for a nursery carpet.) Also, at several points today, my shirt was so wet it needed to be changed. Since in each case, I just didn't get to it until after it dried, I'm still wearing the above-mentioned v-neck. I guess I'll shower after we give the boy his bath tonight...

I have found that one of my favorite things is dressing JB up in his cute clothes, but I'd be lying if I said that this many changes due to the fact that he can't keep liquid inside any of his holes wasn't totally frustrating today.

Jake's first Trip around DC

So, we went away this past weekend and it was a fantastic trip!

The proof is in the pudding pictures!

Overheard at 25,000 feet

Since the DC area got approximately 12 cm of snow, there were some issues flying into Baltimore on Thursday.

1) In Hartford:
Pilot: There is a landing schedule due to some back up in Baltimore, so we are going to sit on the ground here in Hartford for about 10 minutes so that when we arrive, we will be in line to land.

Me: yeah, right... waiting here now will put us in line to land quicker. That doesn't work when I choose to go to Olive Garden at 8pm instead of 6:30 thinking thinking the lines will go down, how's it going to work here?

JB: (smiling as the cabin pressure changes and we prepare to take off) Goo-goo, gah-gah...

2) In the air:

Me: Why are we flying through the turbulence-filled clouds when we could fly above the clouds?

Kt: I don't know, babe.

JB: (Starting to fall asleep like the ridiculously easy traveling child that he is.) Goo-goo, lar-lar-lar

Pilot: We are going to have to stay flying in the clouds for most of the 50 minute trip, so it could be bumpy- please stay in your seats, we are going to suspend beverage service for this flight.

Me: I'm so thirsty

Kt: of course you are, babe

3) In the air somewhere over Baltimore:
Pilot: We'll they've closed the airport below us. We have a back up plan, but we are going to circle overhead for a few minutes to see if the status changes.

Kt: a backup plan????

Me: (whispering to my wife) Water... water... i'm so parched

JB: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz-wuwuwuww, Zzzzzzzzzzz-wuwuwuwuw

Political climate

There's been a dearth of political posts on our blog. I have a few things to say about the front runners and a few opinions that i will at some point put forward, but can we all agree that the word caucus is asinine.

Caucus?!? Really?!?

Ri-cock-ulous*

----------------------------------
* footnote: Ricockulous is borrowed from the hip vernacular of cousin Gregger who easily convinced his trusting wife that this it is a little known synonym for ridiculous...
Jules, stop arguing the point... it's not a word.

Humbling new-parent moment #642:

Realizing you're not smart enough to design a baby monitor.

When we first started using the baby monitor I was irritated by all of the static and interference. I don't know if various models differ. If, for example, spending $100 is enough to get a quality product? Or, do you have to upgrade to DECT technology and spend $200? Is an audio device sufficient? Or do you need to spend $220? Which seems like a bargain when it includes a flat screen video monitor! All things being equal, we agree with the Quakers, that the 4th amendment protects even the baby against illegal spying. Also, though we know very little about these devices, we knew (as pawns of the "keeping baby safe" billion dollar industry in the USA) we had to own one. So we registered NOT for the cheapest of it's kind ($19.99), BUT, well... just about...

At $29.99, our baby's monitor promises very little (see the wildly hilarious mixed reviews at the bottom of the link) yet demonstrates first and foremost that we care enough about our baby to use an item that is NOT THE CHEAPEST ONE AVAILABLE!!!

Delivering 2 weeks early and feeling overwhelmed (I refute those that might call it pure laziness) throughout late pregnancy and early motherhood, we owned the monitor months before we took it out of the box or plugged it in (which happened about 10 minutes before JB was put down for the first time to sleep in his own room about a month ago).

I did initially regret not spending more (well, asking the folks that bought things off our registry to spend more). One of the worst features, in addition to the occasional static interference and the tendency for the device to either pick up too much noise or too little noise, I discovered one night when the baby was sleeping downstairs near one of the portable receivers. I was upstairs in the baby's room and in a moment dedicated to decreasing our carbon footprint, switched the monitor off since the baby was not present IN the room to be monitored. Turning the monitor off caused a squealing, screeching ruckus to pour out of the two remote receivers. This woke the baby up and caused him distress, and I was a little PEA-OWED! "What is wrong with these baby monitor designers!?!" I muttered incoherently as I soothed the boy back to sleep.

Then last week I had my second rush-to-judgment toward the monitor's makers. I'll admit it, I was being a hater, inappropriately. It went like this: I was lying in bed, listening to the tiniest amount of static behind which I could identify the dripping of the humidifier in JB's room, and just under that, the nearly silent respiratory pattern of the boy himself. As often happens during a moment of peace experienced by a new mom, my scattered thoughts drifted toward midnight intruders and child abduction. I was about to rant to katy that the baby monitor was useless if someone could come in and shut it off without us knowing, and then scurry off with our most prized possession. Thanks for the false sense of security Mr and Mrs "Safety 1st safe glow" monitor maker!!!

It wasn't until the next morning that I realized our monitor (cheap though it might be) does offer a type of kidnapping prevention... The squealing, screeching ruckus that nearly caused me to return it to the store demanding a replacement, was likely an intentional part of the design.

Sometimes I feel like I'm re-inventing the wheel every minute of the day...
And it's all I can do to keep my mouth shut and not to embarrass myself by the glacial pace at which my neurons are firing.

Sick kid on my shoulder

I'm typing with one hand so that our baby can sleep while i blog.

There's no particular reason to multi-task in this way except I think the boy has his 1st cold. I say, "I think," because in lieu of a fever, I'm not sure how you tell if a 3.5 month old is sick. He's just not himself. But as I've pointed out several times in this blog, I don't really know the kid all that well... Maybe he is "changing."

Anyway, the little boo is so sleepy and his eyes are puffy and a little red, and he isn't that interested in the giddy up and go gym and he can't really soothe himself to sleep (which normally he is perfectly content to do.) So, we'll just kind of hold him and love him, make sure he's still peeing, and he wakes up to eat, and we will dose him with Ty.lenol (if it comes to that.)

I didn't yet post about our day-long quest for the perfect day care (this Thursday past). Since Thursday, I've returned to my crazy state of insomnia where I'm up at 2 or 3 am and can't fall back to sleep until 5 or 6am (coincidence? shya.)

I can't deny that there is a part of me that is looking forward to going back to work. I miss the place. I'm good at that job. I get something out of it other than a paycheck. Additionally, there is a part of me that knows... knows (in bold and in italics) that day care can give this kid more than I can.

Yes, you heard me right. Not more love, obviously... but more stability, structure, redundant and focused age-appropriate learning.

I've had 5 or 6 women say to me: "Keep saying that if it makes you feel better." Which i think is kind of f---ing ridiculous to even mentally challenge me on, let along say to a new mom who is about to put her kid in day care (I mean I could go on and on about how annoying that is! Do they not understand about KNOWING something; in both bold and italics)?!? Don't argue with me here, sister.

It is not really a financial option (because we've decided that we don't want to sell our house and live the way we would have to live on only one income) but I feel confident that even if we could afford for me (or katy) to stay home, we would not be able to stay home with him and focus on him to the extent that they will. There will be days where I would be all like, hurry and finish your yogurt so that we can go meet up with the chicks from the View... and TV watching would be just the beginning of all of the things I would be trying to get done during a day... "I know you're tired, but there is only one-day for the 'family and friends ONE DAY sale' at Koh.ls, honey... that day is today, so here's a binkie and try to keep it down..."

Still, there is a part of me (and I know katy shares in this) that gets physically ill at the prospect of being away from him for that huge percentage of our day.

We visited 4 day care establishments on Thursday, and decided to register JB at the day care attended by his cousins. This decision will require JB's mommies to increase their work commutes, but the day care is located just about half-way between my work and home. It was the cleanest looking of the four, the director appears to be well liked and kind. It comes with "adult" family back up only minutes away, and JB and Cam will spend their days in each other's company. Mac will be in the next room and we were told she asks to come in the newborn room 1-2 times a day to pat Cam on the head and say Hi.

The other night when we drove to check out the evening traffic route, a dry-run for day care "pick up," we met my sister and her little ones in the parking lot. I can't say that the comparative quality of the facility isn't highest on our list of priorities, but when Mac motioned for me to put JB's carrier down so that she could plant a kiss on his cheek, it was an endearingly compelling argument. She even made the "kiss noise" for him, which is an extra nugget of sweetness the rest of us don't always earn.

So it is probably no coincidence either that after spending 10 to 20 minutes each in 4 separate day care centers, the boy seems to have come down with his first cold....

whatchagonnado?

Bacon

I'm surprised we don't post more about Bacon...
In fact, I think I'm going to give bacon it's own label, and make a point to post about bacon at least 1 in 5 times that Kt and I mention how much we love it during our off-line lives.

Last week, we saw the movie Juno.
(I know what you're thinking, "I read the blog... there was a holiday, out of town visitors, a death, a funeral, a wedding... when the fuck did these people find time to go to a movie?!?" Well, if you must know, it was in between the death and the funeral and during the grannys' visit. We had free babysitting in our living room, see?)

Anyway, we liked the movie so much that we had this scheme to do a Siskel and Ebert type of review of it on the blog. But not thinking thumbs (up or down) were very exciting, we agreed that a slice of bacon was as good a rating system as anything else. A movie that could get 5 out of 5 slices of bacon from each of us (10 slices total) would be a movie that we both agreed was sensational.

Then dooce had to post this clip. It really makes me appreciate her more, but I thought my love affair with bacon was my own private Idaho; apparently everyone wants in on the action...

Laughing and rough housing

The kid is so fantastic.

I didn't know you could "rough play" with a (soon to be) 16 week old. Probably because though I've been around a lot of kids in my life, they always belonged to someone else. Not spending enough time with these little ones to really "know them" and not wanting to cause any problems, I always prioritized gentleness and never "pushed it." But this JB kid, he loves to play! And now that he can pretty much hold up his head, I've started to move him more... errr... um... against gravity and stuff.

Slowly these last few weeks, we've been trying to let him see all the ways his body can move, getting more physical at playtime. Tonight, I was "rolling" him over on himself and doing calisthenics with his legs and a sort of wild version of the hokey-pokey... and he laughed and laughed. He is so good natured! He peels into baby babble, smiles, and screeches in laughter.

Also, if he hears or sees us laugh, he laughs back. The other day, we were laying in bed, talking over a sleeping son, and Katy made some quip that cracked me up. She laughed at my chortle and then JB (in his sleep) joined in the laughter. Kt and I looked at each other in disbelief and then peeled into giggles which prompted the still sleeping boy to laugh again. Since then, we've repeated the exercise and it works when he is awake as well.

There is no denying that this child is getting a ton of loving attention, but he seems to have come to us with an amazing personality, ready to laugh and play.

Sigh.

Just like a McD's cheeseburger: "I'm lovin' it."

Twins

Today, Cam-Cam who was a little under the weather came to visit with her cousin and me. We had a nice day, and I got some serious cuddle time with the little girl who is so often content to chill and watch a room full of activity in a bouncy seat.

There was a little more crying than I am used to; and I give serious props to the parents and primary care takers of twins. I mean doing that back and forth from baby to baby, for a day here and there is one thing, but... day in and day out: Making sure that you are paying the right kind of attention to both simultaneously and appropriately prioritizing different kinds of cries and needs... that's a ton of mental and emotional work.

I'm glad Web and I dodged a bullet and neither one of us had twins this time around, because I'm pretty sure I couldn't handle 3 infant cuties at once!

Mr and Mrs Rich Taylor

Last night, we went into NYC for a wedding.

Since the DJ introduced the couple into the reception for the first time using the wrong last name (not hers and a mispronunciation of his) and an incorrect variant of his nickname, I feel their identities are protected enough to blog about their nuptials :)

These are seriously two of the kindest and hippest peeps I know.

I initially expected one of those picture perfect, high-society events where every detail has been infinitely obsessed over. When on Christmas Eve I heard a rumor that the groom had not yet finalized a tuxedo rental, I thought little about it... so what if he ended up wearing powder blue ruffles!?! (He didn't, btw.) Though traces of the newlyweds' laid back preparations ruled the night, this is par for the course with the groom's family (a family Katy and I consider an extension of our own.) Last night proved that throwing a wedding together in 2 months is bumpy, but not impossible.

The church ceremony was intimate and sweet, and had the guileless characteristics of a final rehearsal before the full dress rehearsal. There were last minute adjustments in blocking for the wedding party during the ceremony and a missing reading that the minister had to go "back stage" to retrieve before the words could be delivered.

When we arrived at the reception, the table assignments and place cards weren't yet coordinated. And the first few of us that arrived looked like a team on "The Apprentice," scampering about in formal wear, trying to complete a timed challenge.

The bride's physical beauty was overshadowed by her inner grace and non-plussed attitude, as items on the "to do" list were checked off in real time. For example, she ran up to the DJ to deliver a list of "special songs" about 12 seconds before the 1st dance, mother/groom, and father/bride dances.

We joked that the DJ might have been hired that very afternoon, and he did his best, playing an eclectic assortment of tunes, at ear piercing decimals. Dancing happened before and during dinner in the only 6 by 8 foot area that was unoccupied by dinner tables. The space happened to be next to our table and was also the main concourse for the bathrooms, the wait staff, and the only access most guests had to the cash bar.

At a certain point in the night the word cluster-fuck popped into my mind. I tried to immerse myself in the spirit of the night and bobbed my head to the alternating beats of dance party USA and Luther Vandross, while flashes went off all around me capturing images of the spirited dancers to the immediate right of my seat. Early in the night, I was over: Over-tired, over-hungry, over-stimulated. And I developed one of those headaches where your body thinks that if you puke, you can get rid of the cranial throbbing.

It kind of sucked that I had to bow out early, but I tried not to beat myself up considering what we have been through in the last several days weeks. Katy tried not to seem too excited or relieved that I was the one who was begging to get back to the hotel (She tires of being the half of our couple who usually is ready to leave a party first.) Though I know she was about 10 seconds from demanding I get her to a place she could lay quietly and unwind, she played the part of doting wife well, "I have to get Tracy home, she has an awful headache."

We dropped Jake off with friends (his second night without us ever) at noon on Saturday, ran (literally) to make the 12:55 train to grand central, and were back to pick him up by 10 am today. We were gone for 22 hours and I had the above mentioned headache for the last 12 hours of the odyssey. But I wouldn't have changed anything. The train ride in with my wife, parents, sister, and Bro in law was full of comradery, loving laughter, the cleansing exhalation that follows a few days of holding your breath and tongue. Not to mention the the sensation of gratitude that you experience when you can finally swallow the lump in your throat.

We are lucky and immersed in blessings, that even the saddest and most trying times could be followed or interrupted by this type of weekend together.

Congratulations R and K! We look forward to watching your family (and therefore our family) grow.

Final goodbye

The Geej was eulogized and buried today.

She left kind of a mess behind- her three surviving children, despite their best efforts to the contrary, were forced (both by her lack of forsight and their own pride) to stand toe to toe more often today, than hand in hand or shoulder to shoulder. I'm not sure I've ever had more conflicting feelings about things that are supposed to be straightforward.

I mostly ache for my dad. The last 5 months in caring for my grandmother, you would think he might have gained the certainty of knowing that she (and his siblings) loved and respected him. But he is filled with self-doubt and worry... that he didn't do enough; that he wasn't good enough; that his best efforts were met with suspicion about his intentions.

I wonder why it has to unfold like this. Dad's got his daughters' love and respect, his wife's whole heart, but today, he wanted a mother who prioritized the words, "Thank you" and "I love you." A father who said, "I'm proud of you." And a brother or sister who would stand up and said, "You did an amazing job. No one could have done more than you did..."

Sometimes we ask too much of our families.

It's been a long, hard day.
A day made easier by the existence of cousins.

Happy New Year

We got a snowy-ish, slush "storm" today which gave us a good excuse to get home and stay put all day. (Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.)

I made chicken pot pie and the dinner and the quiet, family time were yummy.

We ended the year a little like we started it; preparing for a funeral. Yet our lives are so utterly different than they were 12 months ago.

At this time last year, Katy and I intended to resume fertility efforts sometime around March. We figured if we were lucky, we might have a child in early '08. Acting like a couple of hets who "are not really trying, but not really not trying." We messed around with some seemingly innocuous frozen sperm, and here we are... a family.

I have to say, I am deep on the exhausted side of tired. Running ragged on maternity leave might be catching up with me. The idea of burying my gram on Friday and attending a wedding this Saturday in NYC seems asinine. I feel all beat up and stuff. I cannot count the number of women who felt free to tell me during my pregnancy (after I said that I was having trouble sleeping) "You think you're tired now, just wait until the baby is born..." I thought that was really, REALLY, SUPER UN-helpful... But I guess I have to admit those bitches were right. I prefer to think that they were coincidentally lucky with their best guesses about how tired I would be, but whatever.

Bottom line: I pushed it hard when I was pregnant, and I never felt this exhausted. But there is a second bottom line: this kid is rocking our world in all ways that are good.

Happy New Year!
And to all a good night.