"Time Bandits"

I'm sure many friends and family members are tired of hearing me start a sentence with "I read this article in the New Yorker..." or "I heard this really interesting piece on NPR..." but I really did just read a very interesting article in the New Yorker. Granted, it was published in February 2005 and I just got around to reading it, but.... I digress.

I'm always interested in physics even though I can't understand it. I had the most perfect notes in physics class in college, but I could not pass the exams to save my life. This article, called "Time Bandits" by Jim Holt, was mostly about the relationship that Einstein had with Gödel (who proved two incompleteness theorems, neither of which I can comprehend). But the real genius of the article is that it simplifies what Einstein did when he came up with the theory of relativity (E=mc2 was nearly an afterthought of 3 other papers published in the months before September 1905).

He decided that absolute time didn't exist:

"Einstein, however, realized that our idea of time is something we abstract from out experience with rhythmic phenomena: heartbeats, planetary rotations, the ticking of clocks. Time judgments always come down to judgments of simultaneity... Working from his two basic principles, Einstein proved that whether an observer deems two events to be happening 'at the same time' depends on his state of motion. In other words, there is no universal now."

Sometimes I think I forget that there isn't a universal now.
Everything really is relative. And to try to live as if there is absolute
time is just begging for more hardship than is really necessary for one
person.

As a side bar, this is the part of the article that reminds me why I couldn't handle philosophy or mathematics:

"But Gödel's self-referential formula comments on its provability, not on its
truthfulness. Could it by lying? No, because if it were, that would
mean it could be proved, which would make it true. So, in asserting that
it cannot be proved, it has to be telling the truth."

Wait, what? What time is it? Right, it's absolutely past my bedtime....

What can Brown do for you?

Today, as I left work (my gym bag packed for the cardio workout my body has been craving) I noticed the ominous sky and decided to race home to mow the lawn instead. Thursday night should (if at all possible) be “lawn-mowing night.” This is a way to ensure you can look out onto your well-manicured property on Saturday and Sunday and sigh in proud, satisfied relief that you do not have to spend 2 hours on the weekend sweating the grass down to a height the neighbors won’t scoff at.

I almost always mow my lawn in my dad’s old “UPS- Buster Brown Doubles” shirt. I have cut the sleeves off and widened the neck and I’m not going to lie to you, I look good in it… When I do yard work in this t-shirt while wearing my practically threadbare, men’s, cargo shorts…it’s hot! I look like the main attraction on Commercial Street. It’s enough to make the 11-year old tom-boy that lives 4 houses away fall off her skateboard and stand there staring while her skinned knee bleeds (for a few too many minutes) before she grows sheepish and sprints away… But I digress-

I wear the shirt (not to stir up the ladies in the neighborhood but) mostly because it is comfortable. Also I’ve realized, I wear it to share some sort of communion with my dad. So many nights, that guy was out there mowing the lawn as it grew dark and even guided by a flood light in the pitch blackness of a summer night. I don’t know what he used to think about when he was out there alone, but I imagine that I probably run through the same rotation of unexpressed thoughts: Random to-do lists, concerns about home ownership, and many things related to the desire to provide for and ensure the stability and/or future of my family. Yard work can be contemplative meditation if the mower is mechanically sound, if the beads of sweat aren’t stinging your eyes, and the mosquitoes are leaving you alone…

In our family, we mock the slogan, “What can brown do for you?” We utter it in a kind of sarcastic, ironic way that former Enron employees must reserve for the “Ask Why,” motto. (Yes! That really was Enron’s company slogan.) The truth of course is that “Brown” has done a lot for us- beautiful homes, solid educations… A lot of amazing food (and drink) has been purchased, shared, and consumed over the years. But for all that was earned, there were some things taken too. Dad sacrificed a lot of time and sweat, blood and cartilage (in his knees and hands and wrists) over the years. Less easy to lament: the houses he might have built, the degrees he might have earned, the patients he might have cared for, the students he might have taught. The union wages and benefits were too steady and too immediate to compare or trade for construction work or continued education. I never heard the dude complain- not even once… I mean he led a dissertation-worthy lecture series every other night of the week railing against big business; and he told countless stories that taught us how to stand toe-to-toe with supervisors that might be taking unfair advantage… but I never heard him complain about his “lot in life” or his un-realized dreams. It was pretty much implied if not explicitly stated that we- three ladies in his life- were his dream. He didn’t drink himself silly or spend much time yapping about whether or not his job was satisfying…

Tonight, as has happened several times since I moved into this home, it grew dark as I finished the lawn. I tried to push the Lawnboy a little faster, and I enjoyed the breeze while spending some time with my dad… Big B and I are so much alike: Both sensitive souls who can also play the role of "life of the party" if it is required. Both trying to be more organized, more efficient, more productive… but we can’t help but get completely sidetracked or distracted (for hours or days.) We might be waylaid by a conversation with friends or even strangers; or happen upon a book or magazine to read. Fixing something might turn into a marathon garage-cleaning mission (that we’re likely to abandon halfway though); or we might just be staring out the window, contemplating the rain, snuggling a baby, or playing our new favorite song over and over (and over) again. Both of us lean a little towards melancholy when everyone is gone except those who really know us. Both of us rarely talk of the deaths we have witnessed, and the grief we carry, but we try hard to live better because we are grateful even for that, sad part of life.

I am the spitting image of my father; a real chip off the old block. I have practically all his mannerisms- the shrug, wink, nod, eyebrow raise… the tight jaw and the stubborn, “It’s not me, it’s YOU,” expression when I get frustrated (or accused of acting surly by the people who really know me.) I’ve learned from him things that he learned from his father: How to be truthful and straightforward; how to be brave and do what you know is right, even when it’s hard or not popular; how to be generous; how to feel good about an honest day’s work… I’ve learned things from my dad that his father could never have taught either one of us: How to be sensitive; how to be sincere; how to be strong-hearted and not just strong-headed; how to use humor to put people at ease and not to make them uncomfortable; how to give great hugs.

I rarely think of myself as “Daddy’s little girl.” Over the years, and presently, I have been “Daddy’s little side kick,” “Daddy’s little, can I barrow your truck/chainsaw/ladder this weekend…” “Daddy’s little sparring partner.” (Sometimes, it’s hard to be so much like someone and not feel as if he is trying earn some unnecessary redemption by cleaning up MY act…)

One time, a while back- when we didn’t seem to be getting along, and I worried we might not ever get along that well again, my dad sat down next to me and said, “You know, if I was a girl, I think I’d like girls too...” (eyebrow raise… shrug… wink) And I was reminded that there’s not much of anything in this world that makes as much sense to me as he does…

My poor Pa never got a “father’s day shout out” like Nance did on Ma’s day- I just wasn’t feeling it then… But tonight, I couldn’t wait to wash the sweat and grass off myself to come write him a love note. I love you, Daddio! Thank you for everything.

Summer in full swing

Last night, we turned our central air off after a week of having it on non-stop. The northeastern heat-wave seems to have been broken. Blogging has been kept to a minimum- not intentionally, but because we've been hot and lazy and also too busy for this kind of weather/season.

Some updates:
1) Softball is almost over- the last games will be this week and next week. This is a little sad, but getting home before 9 pm 2 nights a week will be a welcome change.

2) The refrigerator- Installed, humming and keeping all goods chill.

3) Kt's car- Brand new brakes and rotors -good to know what these are... (Game show voice: Tell them what they've won: $700 in un-anticipated expenses) Knowing that she can stop on a dime... priceless!

4) Our yard and the house... Except for the mass slaughter of beetles, and the weekly (okay- every OTHER week) mowing of the lawn, we have not been doing any projects or additional chores around the house. There is still wood to be chopped and stacked. There are piles of refuse (bagged, unbagged, and some that was bagged but is starting to unbag itself due to long term exporsure to the elements) to be hauled off. There is a HUGE stump that needs to be ground up (or ground down, depending how you look at it.) There is mildew that needs to be washed off of the siding of North-West face of the house. The garage and attic need to be cleaned out... oh, who am i kidding, the place needs to be vaccuumed and dusted too!!! The important thing to remember is to live each day to the fullest!!! right?!?

5) Weber grill- She's assembled and she's beautiful! (See above) We popped her cherry christened her last night by grilling chicken, swordfish, tuna, asparagus, and zucchini (that was picked our of our garden...) THE BOMB!

6) Golf- finally played yesterday afternoon with L and C. It was awesome and I hit a 49 (par 31) which is my best score ever. Tiger was 14 under yesterday and I was 18 over - that's gotta mean something, right?

7) Beach Vacations are finally on the horizon. (Thanks be to God.)

8) Last, but certainly not least (drum-roll) Mac rolled over for the first time, and she's getting quite good at it. Once she gets to her tummy though, she's always a little disappointed at how little there is to see there. (She's so advanced) that she bores easily... but worry not, I'll have her doing one-handed pushups by the summer's end.

:)

Deep Thaw Dos

As some of you may remember, we have a history of freezer breakage...
And we are pathetic in our ability to be distracted. This week, the freezer started to thaw again. Mrs. and Mrs. Smarty McBrianEinstein's that we are, we chucked the melty pops and ruined items, sopped up the wetness, threw the salvagables into the 'frige and went about our business for about 22 hours before we realized that the refrigerator part was also broken...

PEEEEE-EEEEUUUUWWWWWW!

We emptied the entire monster, unplugged it and mourned it for several days (eating out 2-3 meals per day) while we figured out what to do. The delay was mostly due to the original plan of waiting for the weekend, borrowing Dad's truck, and hauling a new (but slightly damaged) 'frige from the Sears outlet... The items from the outlet are cheaper, but cannot be delivered and/or installed. After several somber days of "gearing up" for this manual labor in the hottest part of the summer, we agreed to "check out" the REAL Sears and price shop. Twenty minutes later, we had a receipt and delivery time set (so easy- so painless) and we were off to eat our first meal of the day (in the air conditioning of a restaurant!)

Beetle-mania

This is what happens when your roses get invaded by beetles... I don't have a photo of kt gleefully killing them off with some kind of potent pesticide (an organic rose garden is an adorable notion until the pests come dive-bombing in... then it just seems kind of "preachy.")

That sound you hear screeching in the silence before you fall asleep at night is the sound of my innocent-seeming yet inexplicably-vengeful wife cackling as the dead bugs fall to the earth.

By the way, many mornings in the summers of my college days, I woke up in my parents' house and there were at least this many ladybugs crawling on my pillow near my face. "What's all the drama about a few ladybugs?" they teased. But there were hundreds of them- the infestation was extremely horrific. Squirrels are just rats with fuzzy tails, and ladybugs are just nasty beetles the color of blood.

Friends in New York

Glad I wrote my rant before this came out,
lest I be accused of expressing thoughts copyrighted by the NYT.

Losing battles but not the War

KAK said it best this evening when she reported:
"Your people did not have a good day."

The Georgia Supreme Court unanimously overturned a lower court ruling and reinstated the state's constitutional ban on same sex marriage. More surprising, the New York Supreme Court in a 4-2 ruling determined that same sex marriage is not protected by the state's constitution, effectively sending the question back to the legislature.
Happy birthday, Dubya... Too bad that you won't get to scream about "activist judges" tomorrow morning- I know how you love getting to do that.

Today, there was a conservative proclamation that condescendingly applauded the right of judges to rule. But if the rulings had turned out differently it would have been:

"Marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman...

If activist judges insist on re-defining marriage by court order...

If judges insist on forcing their arbitrary will upon the people,

the only alternative left to the people would be

the constitutional process...

We must do what is legally necessary to defend the

sanctity of marriage..." all over again!!!

The right's alarmist critique of the judicial branch when social justice for gays is at stake is over-wrought with hypocrisy. It would almost be hilarious if the stench of torched witches, beaten slaves, stoned adulterers, raped women, branded Jews, and burnt crosses wasn't stinging my nostrils. Feel how you want to feel about gay marriage. Admit you are grossed out if you are. Even if you are repulsed at the notion of gay sex or a homosexual couple living a normal, boring life next door to you- put it out there into words and- take your place next to all those who felt that way before...

If you think the "ick factor" wasn't involved in institutionalized racism and anti-Semitism for the red-state-wheat-field-bible-belt-god-fearing-every-day-patriot of yester-year in the same way the "Eeewww-yuck-gross-its-not-natural" reflex is working against gays right now, you need to get out of the clouds and come in out of the sun because you are running out of oxygen.

The sky is falling, the sky is falling... If we let them learn to read, then they will want to VOTE... If they are drinking from our water fountain or swimming in our town pool, the water will be soiled by their filthiness... If we expose our children to them our children will learn unwholesome things... It's unnatural... It is not what God desired or demanded... The holy Bible says... If God had wanted the races to intermingle, He wouldn't have separated them on different continents... If marriage is diluted in this way, it will be the fall of civilization... The sky is falling, the sky is falling... Put it to a vote. Put it to a vote... Let the people decide...

Yes, that's right. Let the majority vote on the rights of the minority. Let men decide when women can vote (1920). Let whites decided when blacks can be counted in the census as greater than 3/5 of a man (1865). Let Anglos decide how long Japanese-Americans should be interned. Let the states decide when it is legal for two people of different races to be married (1967). Let a "representative" government decide what is legal for two consenting adults to do in the privacy of their bedroom (2003.) Let's pretend that this is what DEMOCRACY is all about!!!

If folks are so concerned with what the bible says, or what majority religions decree, then don't just get riled up by same sex marriage: Get freaked-out about non-kosher living; get infuriated that divorce is legal; fight for the right to kill your spouse if s/he cheats, or the right to sell your children into slavery like cattle... The bible demands these things in the same tone that it rebukes homosexuality. If all the Christian-claiming bible-beaters treated the word of God in a "fair and balanced" manner- instead of picking on MY PEOPLE, they would be seen as the fringe-hangers that they are... they would not be able to claim they had to support of mainstream America... They would not have the support of say, the 50% of the population that has required a divorce, for instance...

I'm sorry to tell you this, but same sex marriage is a non-issue. We are just about 2 generations from no one giving a shit. Gays are out of the closet. We are fabulous, our friends are brilliant, we are not going back, and we are not apologizing for it any more.

As long as heterosexual couples insist on reproducing, 10 to 20 percent of their children will turn out gay. As long as society continues to see and understand that this is not an evil mutation, more and more of those children will grow up not hating and/or killing themselves. Children today have never known a time when gays weren't on TV or living down the street. When they grow up, they will not even understand why someone would want to write a law that distinguishes between the social protections of heteros and homos...

This is literally a matter of an older generation of politicians dying off- so they will shut up and stop trying to distract average Americans from real threats to society. Please, before you die, STOP spending millions of dollars reinforcing fears and myths- trying to convince Normal Joe Q Voter that MY marriage should be on his mind on election day (instead of the economy, or the war, or national security, or the educational system, or the highway system, or how our healthcare system is being sold to the insurance and pharmaceutical lobbyists, or how our solders are being sent oversees without armor, or how our elected officials are being indicted by the dozens, etc.)

I just hope i don't need any federal rights or protections before the new "majority" grows up...

PS- Remember this? Well this is priceless... hypocrisy i tell you.