So much to write...
Too tired to write.
Been up too late all week.
There's drama at our day care.
JB's getting 2 more molars, but we are still worried about his ears.
He is talking a ton now and has been wearing underwear for 2 days now (except at night) with no accidents today.
ML is Mr. Mellow. We like to rock him to sleep. (we were harder on his brother at this age) but tonight, we wrapped him and let him fall asleep on his own... He did it no problem-o. This kid could win an Olympic award for sleeping thru the night (knock on wood). If he didn't sleep this good, I might be suicidal...
Christmas cards more than 1/2 done.
No Christmas decs up yet.
Snow expected tomorrow.
I stacked a whole bunch of shit miles high to fit our 2 cars into the garage.
It might be worth the extra hundred grand in a mortgage if we don't have to scrape this winter...
I dare you not to smile at this:
:)
nite.night.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Cousins in the tub at Thanksgiving in NJ
Tonight my sister's kids and JB took a tub together.
Overheard:
Cam: Look at me, I'm swimming like a dolphin!
JB: I'm swimming like a clown fish.
How unintentionally hilarious!
We are at Cape May for the Thanksgiving holiday. We drove up Tuesday night. Since Kt is still on maternity leave, I took Wednesday off from work and my sister piled the four kids and three adults into her minivan. We left at 7pm and arrived just after 1am. I couldn't help but worry, my parents' whole life in that van. All it would take is one asshole on the highway to ruin the entire show. But we arrived safe and had a great, if tiring commute. JB woke up crying 2 or 3 times (maybe his ears were bothering him.) ML slept right thru. All three kids were up for between 10 minutes and a 1/2 hour between the time we arrived and got them to bed.
We were all (parents included) a little bit of a wreck yesterday: short tempered, whiny, low threshold for irritability after having only gotten 4-5 hrs of sleep.
This morning was a different story however and we all woke up feeling somewhat refreshed.
I took JB for a walk to the water this am. My aunt's inn is only one block away from the Atlantic Ocean. He is a timid boy. He is prone to disapproving of discomfort and of change. I put his boots on him and his "Watch Hill," "Nantucket Red" sweatshirt; his head adorned with a blue and grey skull cap. He was a sight on the beach- totally adorable. It was overcast and cloudy and about 55-60 degrees. It was not that warm... but if I had had a suit I would have jumped in. There were real-sized waves. Waves much bigger than those JB has seen at our summer vacations where the beach is on a protected cove. He stayed away at first, content to watch me splash barefoot in the surf. But by the end, was soaked up to his waist by salt water and was eager to catch the tail end of a few waves. When it was all over, I made a point of telling him how much I loved the ocean and how cool it was that he was willing to get all wet and how fun that was for Mommy and how much I hoped that he had had fun too... AND, how proud I was of him. He looked at me and said, "No crying, no whining, no fussing."
This is a mantra that we had to create and implement when day care drop offs started getting bad... "you are going to school and Mommy will miss you, but when we say goodbye, no crying, no whining, no fussing, nobody wants to hear that..."
To hear him put it in this context really made me laugh. And more pertinently, it made me smile. Sometimes, with this kid, I have so much fun. Anyway, I was proud of JB and I was happy to step into the ocean and I did wish that I had packed a swimsuit. And there are many millions of things I am thankful for. But none more than my wife and my boys. Such cutie pies!
Happy thanksgiving!!!
Overheard:
Cam: Look at me, I'm swimming like a dolphin!
JB: I'm swimming like a clown fish.
How unintentionally hilarious!
We are at Cape May for the Thanksgiving holiday. We drove up Tuesday night. Since Kt is still on maternity leave, I took Wednesday off from work and my sister piled the four kids and three adults into her minivan. We left at 7pm and arrived just after 1am. I couldn't help but worry, my parents' whole life in that van. All it would take is one asshole on the highway to ruin the entire show. But we arrived safe and had a great, if tiring commute. JB woke up crying 2 or 3 times (maybe his ears were bothering him.) ML slept right thru. All three kids were up for between 10 minutes and a 1/2 hour between the time we arrived and got them to bed.
We were all (parents included) a little bit of a wreck yesterday: short tempered, whiny, low threshold for irritability after having only gotten 4-5 hrs of sleep.
This morning was a different story however and we all woke up feeling somewhat refreshed.
I took JB for a walk to the water this am. My aunt's inn is only one block away from the Atlantic Ocean. He is a timid boy. He is prone to disapproving of discomfort and of change. I put his boots on him and his "Watch Hill," "Nantucket Red" sweatshirt; his head adorned with a blue and grey skull cap. He was a sight on the beach- totally adorable. It was overcast and cloudy and about 55-60 degrees. It was not that warm... but if I had had a suit I would have jumped in. There were real-sized waves. Waves much bigger than those JB has seen at our summer vacations where the beach is on a protected cove. He stayed away at first, content to watch me splash barefoot in the surf. But by the end, was soaked up to his waist by salt water and was eager to catch the tail end of a few waves. When it was all over, I made a point of telling him how much I loved the ocean and how cool it was that he was willing to get all wet and how fun that was for Mommy and how much I hoped that he had had fun too... AND, how proud I was of him. He looked at me and said, "No crying, no whining, no fussing."
This is a mantra that we had to create and implement when day care drop offs started getting bad... "you are going to school and Mommy will miss you, but when we say goodbye, no crying, no whining, no fussing, nobody wants to hear that..."
To hear him put it in this context really made me laugh. And more pertinently, it made me smile. Sometimes, with this kid, I have so much fun. Anyway, I was proud of JB and I was happy to step into the ocean and I did wish that I had packed a swimsuit. And there are many millions of things I am thankful for. But none more than my wife and my boys. Such cutie pies!
Happy thanksgiving!!!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
2 month vital statistics
ML had his 2 month well baby visit. Also last week, he got blood drawn for a phenobarbital level and repeat liver enzymes.
At the pedi visit, the kid was 13 lbs and 10 oz. He is in the 90th percentile for height and wt. And his head circumference is only in the 50th percentile. (I only bring this up b/c he does not seem to be getting a fat head, even though he is growing out of his britches... if you follow my pun.) He is already in 3-6 month clothing.
ML is such a good eater and such a good sleeper, that's impossible to imagine him as anything but perfectly healthy. My gram calls him "such a nice package". He eats 5-6 oz every 3-ish hours. All formula now. Katy stopped breast feeding about 3 weeks ago. He burps like a frat boy with a small change in position. Just sit him up and he lets it rip. He rarely if ever spits up. He hardly ever cries, except to tell us he needs something. He sleeps from 9pm until 5 or 6 (or... 7).
That sleeping thru the night thing might be saving my life right now, but what is not to love!?! So far, he's as good a baby if not better than JB. We are very lucky indeed!
Birth to 3 is coming every 2 weeks to give ML Physical Therapy. He is working on his neck muscles, especially trying to turn to his left as often as his right. And also to get his thumbs out from his fists... especially when he is upset or "stressed" he keeps his thumbs tucked into his fists; apparently this is a newborn instinct that he should have grown out of by now. (Who knew?)
For the most part, he is a happy camper and we adore him (JB included.)
I have some great stories and updates about JB, but that will have to wait. Tomorrow, hopefully katy will post the video of ML singing with his mommy. a-door-a-bull!
I am working 2 days this week and then we are going to Cape May for Turkey day!!! Will try to find time to pay the blog some attention. Having 2 kids makes the "alone" time much harder to find, though.
At the pedi visit, the kid was 13 lbs and 10 oz. He is in the 90th percentile for height and wt. And his head circumference is only in the 50th percentile. (I only bring this up b/c he does not seem to be getting a fat head, even though he is growing out of his britches... if you follow my pun.) He is already in 3-6 month clothing.
ML is such a good eater and such a good sleeper, that's impossible to imagine him as anything but perfectly healthy. My gram calls him "such a nice package". He eats 5-6 oz every 3-ish hours. All formula now. Katy stopped breast feeding about 3 weeks ago. He burps like a frat boy with a small change in position. Just sit him up and he lets it rip. He rarely if ever spits up. He hardly ever cries, except to tell us he needs something. He sleeps from 9pm until 5 or 6 (or... 7).
That sleeping thru the night thing might be saving my life right now, but what is not to love!?! So far, he's as good a baby if not better than JB. We are very lucky indeed!
Birth to 3 is coming every 2 weeks to give ML Physical Therapy. He is working on his neck muscles, especially trying to turn to his left as often as his right. And also to get his thumbs out from his fists... especially when he is upset or "stressed" he keeps his thumbs tucked into his fists; apparently this is a newborn instinct that he should have grown out of by now. (Who knew?)
For the most part, he is a happy camper and we adore him (JB included.)
I have some great stories and updates about JB, but that will have to wait. Tomorrow, hopefully katy will post the video of ML singing with his mommy. a-door-a-bull!
I am working 2 days this week and then we are going to Cape May for Turkey day!!! Will try to find time to pay the blog some attention. Having 2 kids makes the "alone" time much harder to find, though.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
What his Mama's been training him for
This morning in the car...
JB: Mommy what's that?
me: What?
JB: That (pointing to something behind me that I can't see.)
me: I don't know, babe... what do you see?
JB: Buckle!
me: the seat belt??? (I realize I don't have mine on)
JB: Yes. Seat belt. Safety first, Mommy.
me: Thanks, JB (I buckle my seat belt, having been reprimanded by a not quite 26 month old.)
At least we are doing ONE thing right!?!
JB: Mommy what's that?
me: What?
JB: That (pointing to something behind me that I can't see.)
me: I don't know, babe... what do you see?
JB: Buckle!
me: the seat belt??? (I realize I don't have mine on)
JB: Yes. Seat belt. Safety first, Mommy.
me: Thanks, JB (I buckle my seat belt, having been reprimanded by a not quite 26 month old.)
At least we are doing ONE thing right!?!
Monday, November 09, 2009
Sunday, November 08, 2009
JB at 2 years+ and ML at almost 2 months
We went to the pediatrician for JB's 2 year old visit last Wednesday.
In the days leading up to his appointment, the kid was just a wreck. He was a drippy mess, sneezing, coughing, acting like a brat, crying at the drop of a hat... From what I've heard, this is the exact behavior that causes parents and peeps of parents to add the prefix "terrible" to the word "twos". There was this one moment when we were in the hospital and my sister was taking care of JB and every kid at her house and at day care started to get colds that caused that wet, bronchial-spastic cough that I wondered to myself if his doctor would tell us his ear tubes had fallen out at this upcoming visit. Since he had the surgery in December, JB has literally not been sick. The year before it was ear infections every six weeks, but after he got tubes, all was cool.
So, Dr. L looks into his left ear and in micro-seconds pulls away, "He's got an ear infection. The tube is out." The tube in the right ear is in his Eustachian tube and not the ear drum, and instantly we realize that all the signs were there. He doesn't get fevers when he gets an ear infection, he just gets sensitive and whiny, and stubborn, and prone to frequent breakdowns. Perhaps even more so if everything in his world was changing: home, schedule, family structure, stress level of parents, household members, etc.
At the 2 year "well child visit", the kid was a wreck. Really, he was all over the place. Cried when they wanted to undress him, then he pulled his diaper off and wanted to be naked-refused to get dressed again. He cried and shouted when they wanted to weigh him and when they wanted to measure the circumference of his head. Yes, he's been difficult, but this was hard to take, because for the most part we have the most mellow little boy on our hands. It is weird, but you really do want them to show off a little for their healthcare provider and barking, "NO! STOPPIT!" at the staff wasn't what I considered to be a shining example of his emotional or linguistic accomplishments.
Then at the end, they have to take a tiny tube of blood for lead and Hemoglobin; as well as give him 3 IM injections: H1N1 vaccine, HIB, and seasonal flu vaccine. During the finger stick, he observes the blood leaving his body with such intensity and curiosity that he could have been filming a commercial for summer science camp for toddlers. I'm dumbfounded that this didn't upset him AT ALL! The shots were a different story. He cried that heartbreaking cry that causes lesser moms to refuse to vaccinate their kids as part of the herd.
It didn't help that the appt was at 11am (lunch time at day care); and we weren't done in there before noon (30 minutes after the regular starting time of his daily nap). We wrestled him into his car seat and he screamed and cried a snot-fest of mucus onto the front of his shirt. He fell asleep about 3 highway miles into the trip home and Kt stopped at the pharmacy to fill his antibiotic Rx. When we got him home, he woke up, growled at me, and "declined" tylenol or his prescription dose. Then he slept for FOUR hours!!!! It was bizarre and unexpected and apparently just what the doctor ordered.
He woke up such a different person that Katy wondered aloud if the vaccinations might have acted a bit like shock therapy treatment. Upon waking, he looked at me and asked, "Mommy, I have a hug?" We cuddled for a bit and I picked up the spoons of tylenol and Cefdinir that he all but spit out at me immediately before the nap. I said, "Can you please take your medicine now?" He did without a word and then after swallowing it right down he looked at me, put a hand on my cheeks (as if he was about to say, "I love you,") and said, "Mommy. That's yummy."
(hee hee hee).
After the first 5 days of the drug treatment, JB is back to his sweet old self. He has a follow up ENT appointment in Dec and then we'll know what his ears look like. With any luck, this is a fluke and he will not need more tubes.
In the mean time, ML has picked up a wet cough and a sneeze that had his moms shitting a brick a few days back. Thursday and Friday we were desperate and frantic that he might spike a temp and we'd have to take him back to the hospital. He seems to be stable now (still has the cough, though) and he turns 8 weeks tomorrow. So that is good. He has enough to worry about with the health problems that might actually be real without being admitted as "R/O sepsis" and being exposed all over again to all those hospital germs.
We had a birth to 3 assessment done on ML on Friday. Generally they said our almost 8 week old is socially "right on track" but more like a 5 week old in terms of motor function. Not surprising after having spend 7 days of your 53 day old life in the hospital and also having had a fever and seizures and anti-seizure medication... but it was still a little sobering for his moms.
It has been a wild ride these last 2 months. I feel steady and charmed in terms of my good fortune. Still, I was in a department store during my lunch last week and I heard a child crying. It was a serious and desperate cry and it seemed to me misplaced at a department store. It was similar to the cry I heard from ML when they had to sick him 3 times to get an LP. And something deep inside me wavered. For a moment, I thought I might have to get down on the floor and lay there for a 10 count, right there in Ikea. It was like a wave of nausea and was gone as quickly as it rolled in. But it make me realize there's some stuff going on deep down inside me that I should probably pay attention to...
We moved into our new house last night. It is not really organized nor are all thing things done that I wanted to be done before we moved in. But I finally figured out what everyone else pretty much knew: we are never going to be able to move forward without staying here- there's no incentive to succeed and march forward on the TO DO LISTS unless our family is living here and not-yet-completed projects are affecting our daily life.
So here are a few of my favorite JB-isms and stories of the moment.
New negotiating tactic:
Me: Okay, let's go, put this shirt on...
JB: Umm, hmm, HOW'BOUT... this one over here, Mommy.
New stalling tactic or getting himself out of trouble tactic:
"I gotta go potty"
I swear this kid can squeeze out 4 drops of urine any time he wants to!
He's really great with ML and often says, "Look at ML, he's laughing at me... You're funny ML. Good boy, ML."
Just plan super cute at dinner: After eating a spoonful of peanut butter and wordlessly and unintentionally contorting his face (genuine "yummy", "sticky" and "peanut butter is hard-to-swallow" faces) JB lunges for his glass of water and gulps a bunch down. Then he looks up at his amused parents who have also said nothing this entire time and says, "I'm better now."
Priceless.
In the days leading up to his appointment, the kid was just a wreck. He was a drippy mess, sneezing, coughing, acting like a brat, crying at the drop of a hat... From what I've heard, this is the exact behavior that causes parents and peeps of parents to add the prefix "terrible" to the word "twos". There was this one moment when we were in the hospital and my sister was taking care of JB and every kid at her house and at day care started to get colds that caused that wet, bronchial-spastic cough that I wondered to myself if his doctor would tell us his ear tubes had fallen out at this upcoming visit. Since he had the surgery in December, JB has literally not been sick. The year before it was ear infections every six weeks, but after he got tubes, all was cool.
So, Dr. L looks into his left ear and in micro-seconds pulls away, "He's got an ear infection. The tube is out." The tube in the right ear is in his Eustachian tube and not the ear drum, and instantly we realize that all the signs were there. He doesn't get fevers when he gets an ear infection, he just gets sensitive and whiny, and stubborn, and prone to frequent breakdowns. Perhaps even more so if everything in his world was changing: home, schedule, family structure, stress level of parents, household members, etc.
At the 2 year "well child visit", the kid was a wreck. Really, he was all over the place. Cried when they wanted to undress him, then he pulled his diaper off and wanted to be naked-refused to get dressed again. He cried and shouted when they wanted to weigh him and when they wanted to measure the circumference of his head. Yes, he's been difficult, but this was hard to take, because for the most part we have the most mellow little boy on our hands. It is weird, but you really do want them to show off a little for their healthcare provider and barking, "NO! STOPPIT!" at the staff wasn't what I considered to be a shining example of his emotional or linguistic accomplishments.
Then at the end, they have to take a tiny tube of blood for lead and Hemoglobin; as well as give him 3 IM injections: H1N1 vaccine, HIB, and seasonal flu vaccine. During the finger stick, he observes the blood leaving his body with such intensity and curiosity that he could have been filming a commercial for summer science camp for toddlers. I'm dumbfounded that this didn't upset him AT ALL! The shots were a different story. He cried that heartbreaking cry that causes lesser moms to refuse to vaccinate their kids as part of the herd.
It didn't help that the appt was at 11am (lunch time at day care); and we weren't done in there before noon (30 minutes after the regular starting time of his daily nap). We wrestled him into his car seat and he screamed and cried a snot-fest of mucus onto the front of his shirt. He fell asleep about 3 highway miles into the trip home and Kt stopped at the pharmacy to fill his antibiotic Rx. When we got him home, he woke up, growled at me, and "declined" tylenol or his prescription dose. Then he slept for FOUR hours!!!! It was bizarre and unexpected and apparently just what the doctor ordered.
He woke up such a different person that Katy wondered aloud if the vaccinations might have acted a bit like shock therapy treatment. Upon waking, he looked at me and asked, "Mommy, I have a hug?" We cuddled for a bit and I picked up the spoons of tylenol and Cefdinir that he all but spit out at me immediately before the nap. I said, "Can you please take your medicine now?" He did without a word and then after swallowing it right down he looked at me, put a hand on my cheeks (as if he was about to say, "I love you,") and said, "Mommy. That's yummy."
(hee hee hee).
After the first 5 days of the drug treatment, JB is back to his sweet old self. He has a follow up ENT appointment in Dec and then we'll know what his ears look like. With any luck, this is a fluke and he will not need more tubes.
In the mean time, ML has picked up a wet cough and a sneeze that had his moms shitting a brick a few days back. Thursday and Friday we were desperate and frantic that he might spike a temp and we'd have to take him back to the hospital. He seems to be stable now (still has the cough, though) and he turns 8 weeks tomorrow. So that is good. He has enough to worry about with the health problems that might actually be real without being admitted as "R/O sepsis" and being exposed all over again to all those hospital germs.
We had a birth to 3 assessment done on ML on Friday. Generally they said our almost 8 week old is socially "right on track" but more like a 5 week old in terms of motor function. Not surprising after having spend 7 days of your 53 day old life in the hospital and also having had a fever and seizures and anti-seizure medication... but it was still a little sobering for his moms.
It has been a wild ride these last 2 months. I feel steady and charmed in terms of my good fortune. Still, I was in a department store during my lunch last week and I heard a child crying. It was a serious and desperate cry and it seemed to me misplaced at a department store. It was similar to the cry I heard from ML when they had to sick him 3 times to get an LP. And something deep inside me wavered. For a moment, I thought I might have to get down on the floor and lay there for a 10 count, right there in Ikea. It was like a wave of nausea and was gone as quickly as it rolled in. But it make me realize there's some stuff going on deep down inside me that I should probably pay attention to...
We moved into our new house last night. It is not really organized nor are all thing things done that I wanted to be done before we moved in. But I finally figured out what everyone else pretty much knew: we are never going to be able to move forward without staying here- there's no incentive to succeed and march forward on the TO DO LISTS unless our family is living here and not-yet-completed projects are affecting our daily life.
So here are a few of my favorite JB-isms and stories of the moment.
New negotiating tactic:
Me: Okay, let's go, put this shirt on...
JB: Umm, hmm, HOW'BOUT... this one over here, Mommy.
New stalling tactic or getting himself out of trouble tactic:
"I gotta go potty"
I swear this kid can squeeze out 4 drops of urine any time he wants to!
He's really great with ML and often says, "Look at ML, he's laughing at me... You're funny ML. Good boy, ML."
Just plan super cute at dinner: After eating a spoonful of peanut butter and wordlessly and unintentionally contorting his face (genuine "yummy", "sticky" and "peanut butter is hard-to-swallow" faces) JB lunges for his glass of water and gulps a bunch down. Then he looks up at his amused parents who have also said nothing this entire time and says, "I'm better now."
Priceless.
Monday, November 02, 2009
Dear journal,
We moms woke up early today.
(Read: we did not really sleep.)
JB has been sick.
We are exhausted.
1+1= 5
I'm snapping at people in frustration and fatigue.
The house is coming along... slowly.
JB impresses us with his smarts.
ML reassures us by seeming perfectly healthy.
(Read: we did not really sleep.)
JB has been sick.
We are exhausted.
1+1= 5
I'm snapping at people in frustration and fatigue.
The house is coming along... slowly.
JB impresses us with his smarts.
ML reassures us by seeming perfectly healthy.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Things that fall
Two things happened tonight.
JB dropped a log in the toilet... I'm not sure it was actually his intention, but they were all over him at school today, toileting him every 20-40 minutes. He had a dry diaper all day and tonight when he said, "I gotta go potty," I certainly did not expect anything but pee-pee. He did number one, then I got him re-dressed and he did a funny little jig, and then he said, "I gotta go potty" again. I doubted this, but put him back on the throne. A small amount of urine did come out and then an adult sized log.
(blink. blink. blink)
I know this is gross to write about and I know this is a typical Mom-of-little-kids type story: "Yeah," you're probably thinking, "Your kid defecates. He's a genius. Good for you you. You must be proud enough to talk/write about it all day"
The truth? I'm not really ready for potty training to be my full time job. It requires too much patience and I'm running a tiny bit low on patience right now. But it should be said that JB seems to be (with the help of his teachers at day care, and his TT who he lived with for a week) potty training himself. The funny part is he seemed to know he had to go to the bathroom, but it did not really compute. After he went and we all made a big fuss, he looked in the toilet and then behind him and then between his legs and then back into the toilet. His expression was essentially, "Where the charred-duck did that come from?"
It was really funny.
Then later, while carrying ML down the stairs, I slipped. I mean, holy shit, can I catch a break here. Haven't we had enough go on with him without me endangering both of our lives?!? There was no time to think, but I pulled him into me and hit 3 or 4 stairs with my back and arms like a bumpy, hardwood luge. When the forward, skidding motion stopped, ML was perfectly contained in my arms against my chest and he looked at me for a split second before the 40 seconds of tears.
I've been assured by my wife that he is fine, but uuuggggh. My heart is still not quite right. And my back, well, that's going to be bruised for a few days at least.
JB dropped a log in the toilet... I'm not sure it was actually his intention, but they were all over him at school today, toileting him every 20-40 minutes. He had a dry diaper all day and tonight when he said, "I gotta go potty," I certainly did not expect anything but pee-pee. He did number one, then I got him re-dressed and he did a funny little jig, and then he said, "I gotta go potty" again. I doubted this, but put him back on the throne. A small amount of urine did come out and then an adult sized log.
(blink. blink. blink)
I know this is gross to write about and I know this is a typical Mom-of-little-kids type story: "Yeah," you're probably thinking, "Your kid defecates. He's a genius. Good for you you. You must be proud enough to talk/write about it all day"
The truth? I'm not really ready for potty training to be my full time job. It requires too much patience and I'm running a tiny bit low on patience right now. But it should be said that JB seems to be (with the help of his teachers at day care, and his TT who he lived with for a week) potty training himself. The funny part is he seemed to know he had to go to the bathroom, but it did not really compute. After he went and we all made a big fuss, he looked in the toilet and then behind him and then between his legs and then back into the toilet. His expression was essentially, "Where the charred-duck did that come from?"
It was really funny.
Then later, while carrying ML down the stairs, I slipped. I mean, holy shit, can I catch a break here. Haven't we had enough go on with him without me endangering both of our lives?!? There was no time to think, but I pulled him into me and hit 3 or 4 stairs with my back and arms like a bumpy, hardwood luge. When the forward, skidding motion stopped, ML was perfectly contained in my arms against my chest and he looked at me for a split second before the 40 seconds of tears.
I've been assured by my wife that he is fine, but uuuggggh. My heart is still not quite right. And my back, well, that's going to be bruised for a few days at least.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Worth 3 minutes of your life
I'm too tired to post, but we're all doing well.
Our kids are cute. JB is cranky, but I guess he's been through a lot.
This made me cry (in a good way):
hat tip, Adam
Our kids are cute. JB is cranky, but I guess he's been through a lot.
This made me cry (in a good way):
hat tip, Adam
Friday, October 16, 2009
We're "Home"
ML was discharged from the hospital yesterday.
We are home (in quotes) because while we were away, all of our stuff was packed and transported to a new house in Midpoint.
To refresh the story for anyone new here: After many years of hemming and hawing (because we like the town we live in but b/c I work an hour away) we decided to sell our house and move to the town I grew up in- which is 1/2 way between where we lived and where I work, and which is where JB goes to day care, and where all the free babysitting is conveniently located. Our house was on the market for just over a year... Since four months before katy got pregnant... Since four days or so before the Lehman Brothers when under. [It is quite possible, if you take into account Murphy's Law, that had we not decided to relocate, that the economic downturn that the entire world is facing might not have occurred at all.]
As often happens with these things, it was only as Katy's due date approached that we saw any action on the house at all. We got two offers as we were about to pull the house off the market to "take a break for baby". Instead, we negotiated a closing date 4 weeks after the due date, imagining that because we are such high-functioning individuals, we would be able to get ourselves organized within a 3 to 4 week period.
It should be said here that I have built up a lot of "moving karma". I have spent most of my adult life jumping in whenever people need a hand moving. I count packing and lifting heavy things among my "special gifts." The truth is, especially when it is not your own stuff, it is easy to put one foot in front of the other and just keep carrying, just keep climbing up and down stairs, just keep putting stuff into boxes, just keep sweating, just keep motivating the crew. To me that is easy. Additionally, I have pretty good spacial relations. I can load/pack a truck. For a while when we were all younger, I had the truck (Chevy Blazer). More recently, I come to a move with my own tape gun, my own markers, my own utility knife and a few screwdrivers and Allen wrenches. I bring packing paper and shrink wrap. If you are my friend or a friend or parent of a friend, or just smart enough to ask, I'll show up and help you move. I can't help it. I can't resist the invitation. I think it is one of the ways that God wants to use me here on this earth.
So, in a long weekend (a holiday weekend dedicated to an explorer who brought about the slaughter of a nation of indigenous people) my stash of karma has been used up, wiped out, the scales have been tipped. From now on, when I help people move it will be less of a mitzvah and more of a "paying if forward"/"paying it back" maneuver.
Essentially, while we were in the hospital- on the day that ML had his seizures, and the days he spent in the ICU- about a dozen of our peeps (primarily from the softball team) packed our house. They packed and cleaned and project managed the move. The movers were met, directed and paid. The new house was cleaned and painted and cleaned some more. We are still no where near done, but these people are amazing.
The people that are related to us are amazing, but the people that are in it irrespective of "blood", they are something else all together. My sister said it best when she said, "What did you do exactly to deserve these friends?!?" I don't know, exactly. But whatever it was, it was worth it!!!
If you are reading this any or all of you, I want you to know that this changes everything. This last week to some extent, katy and I have been broken wide open: holding our tiny, sick son; missing our other little boy; feeling scared and overwhelmed and exhausted; held up by people who did everything they could to take the pressure off: followed us on facebook, sent loving messages, said prayers, put our names on the prayer lists at church, showed up at the hospital to make sure we ate and slept some, mowed our lawn so it looked nicer for the new owners, PACKED AND MOVED US!!!
This changes everything because, there's no way really to repay or say thank you. We can barely do anything except sit in this moment. We sit in quiet humility attempting to honor all of you: trying not to feel embarrassed and inadequate; focusing instead on feeling lucky and blessed and saved.
We are humbled by your friendship and generosity. We're afraid we can never adequately communicate and you might never really know how thankful we are and what this has meant to us. So, we will try to communicate it and will try to pay it forward as best we can... in a way that compounds your gifts to us and your friendship and love.
Thank you. For helping us get home.
We are home (in quotes) because while we were away, all of our stuff was packed and transported to a new house in Midpoint.
To refresh the story for anyone new here: After many years of hemming and hawing (because we like the town we live in but b/c I work an hour away) we decided to sell our house and move to the town I grew up in- which is 1/2 way between where we lived and where I work, and which is where JB goes to day care, and where all the free babysitting is conveniently located. Our house was on the market for just over a year... Since four months before katy got pregnant... Since four days or so before the Lehman Brothers when under. [It is quite possible, if you take into account Murphy's Law, that had we not decided to relocate, that the economic downturn that the entire world is facing might not have occurred at all.]
As often happens with these things, it was only as Katy's due date approached that we saw any action on the house at all. We got two offers as we were about to pull the house off the market to "take a break for baby". Instead, we negotiated a closing date 4 weeks after the due date, imagining that because we are such high-functioning individuals, we would be able to get ourselves organized within a 3 to 4 week period.
It should be said here that I have built up a lot of "moving karma". I have spent most of my adult life jumping in whenever people need a hand moving. I count packing and lifting heavy things among my "special gifts." The truth is, especially when it is not your own stuff, it is easy to put one foot in front of the other and just keep carrying, just keep climbing up and down stairs, just keep putting stuff into boxes, just keep sweating, just keep motivating the crew. To me that is easy. Additionally, I have pretty good spacial relations. I can load/pack a truck. For a while when we were all younger, I had the truck (Chevy Blazer). More recently, I come to a move with my own tape gun, my own markers, my own utility knife and a few screwdrivers and Allen wrenches. I bring packing paper and shrink wrap. If you are my friend or a friend or parent of a friend, or just smart enough to ask, I'll show up and help you move. I can't help it. I can't resist the invitation. I think it is one of the ways that God wants to use me here on this earth.
So, in a long weekend (a holiday weekend dedicated to an explorer who brought about the slaughter of a nation of indigenous people) my stash of karma has been used up, wiped out, the scales have been tipped. From now on, when I help people move it will be less of a mitzvah and more of a "paying if forward"/"paying it back" maneuver.
Essentially, while we were in the hospital- on the day that ML had his seizures, and the days he spent in the ICU- about a dozen of our peeps (primarily from the softball team) packed our house. They packed and cleaned and project managed the move. The movers were met, directed and paid. The new house was cleaned and painted and cleaned some more. We are still no where near done, but these people are amazing.
The people that are related to us are amazing, but the people that are in it irrespective of "blood", they are something else all together. My sister said it best when she said, "What did you do exactly to deserve these friends?!?" I don't know, exactly. But whatever it was, it was worth it!!!
If you are reading this any or all of you, I want you to know that this changes everything. This last week to some extent, katy and I have been broken wide open: holding our tiny, sick son; missing our other little boy; feeling scared and overwhelmed and exhausted; held up by people who did everything they could to take the pressure off: followed us on facebook, sent loving messages, said prayers, put our names on the prayer lists at church, showed up at the hospital to make sure we ate and slept some, mowed our lawn so it looked nicer for the new owners, PACKED AND MOVED US!!!
This changes everything because, there's no way really to repay or say thank you. We can barely do anything except sit in this moment. We sit in quiet humility attempting to honor all of you: trying not to feel embarrassed and inadequate; focusing instead on feeling lucky and blessed and saved.
We are humbled by your friendship and generosity. We're afraid we can never adequately communicate and you might never really know how thankful we are and what this has meant to us. So, we will try to communicate it and will try to pay it forward as best we can... in a way that compounds your gifts to us and your friendship and love.
Thank you. For helping us get home.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Life at 4 weeks old
Dear ML,
You are four weeks today. Good god, son, you have really given us a scare this week.
We have been at the hospital since Thursday morning. And we still don't even have much of a clue.
We thought it would be 48 hours, to rule out a bacterial infection, but then when your fevers finally broke, you started having some seizures. You had 12 seizures on Saturday and they moved you to the PICU and started you on anti seizure medication. You have had 2 rounds of antibiotics and are on an antiviral now.
You have had an LP, blood and urine cultures, several IVs, an EEG, a CT scan of your head and abdomen, and tonight an MRI.
They are ruling our really scary things, but for now, the medication has stopped the seizures, and you have no fever, and you are eating and sleeping appropriately and peeing and pooping, etc. You have even gained weight during your stay, while eating a combination of your mama's breast milk, and formula.
The big things we are still worried about are: 1) a specific viral meningitis, 2) a viral encephalitis, 3) Inborn error of metabolism. The EEG showed some seizure activity but that was consistent with your age. Your head MRI ruled out structural abnormalities in the brain that might cause seizures, but the preliminary results showed some "white matter changes" which are indicative of infection (in other words, encephalitis)... We don't know what this means yet, but they are pretty much all ready treating you for a virus like this.
Being with you through all of this has been scary and exhausting. But revealed the blessings in our lives too.
Your brother is staying with your TT, Bill, and Nana and Papa (even though they don't live together, this is like a group operation) We have missed him so much, but he is distracted and doing pretty well without us. And we don't have to worry about him at all because he is so well taken care of. We have been with you around the clock or have had family sitting with you while we rest, eat, and take anxiety reducing walks.
It seems like there might have been a better way to get all this special "family time" with you, but it's not up to us to dictate these things I guess. We love you so much and your mommies are taking turns falling apart and holding it together. We think in a few weeks, this will all seem like a distant memory, but right now, that seems like too much to hope for.
Keep hanging in there, little boy. You are truly surrounded by love.
Holding you close to us,
Your mommies
You are four weeks today. Good god, son, you have really given us a scare this week.
We have been at the hospital since Thursday morning. And we still don't even have much of a clue.
We thought it would be 48 hours, to rule out a bacterial infection, but then when your fevers finally broke, you started having some seizures. You had 12 seizures on Saturday and they moved you to the PICU and started you on anti seizure medication. You have had 2 rounds of antibiotics and are on an antiviral now.
You have had an LP, blood and urine cultures, several IVs, an EEG, a CT scan of your head and abdomen, and tonight an MRI.
They are ruling our really scary things, but for now, the medication has stopped the seizures, and you have no fever, and you are eating and sleeping appropriately and peeing and pooping, etc. You have even gained weight during your stay, while eating a combination of your mama's breast milk, and formula.
The big things we are still worried about are: 1) a specific viral meningitis, 2) a viral encephalitis, 3) Inborn error of metabolism. The EEG showed some seizure activity but that was consistent with your age. Your head MRI ruled out structural abnormalities in the brain that might cause seizures, but the preliminary results showed some "white matter changes" which are indicative of infection (in other words, encephalitis)... We don't know what this means yet, but they are pretty much all ready treating you for a virus like this.
Being with you through all of this has been scary and exhausting. But revealed the blessings in our lives too.
Your brother is staying with your TT, Bill, and Nana and Papa (even though they don't live together, this is like a group operation) We have missed him so much, but he is distracted and doing pretty well without us. And we don't have to worry about him at all because he is so well taken care of. We have been with you around the clock or have had family sitting with you while we rest, eat, and take anxiety reducing walks.
It seems like there might have been a better way to get all this special "family time" with you, but it's not up to us to dictate these things I guess. We love you so much and your mommies are taking turns falling apart and holding it together. We think in a few weeks, this will all seem like a distant memory, but right now, that seems like too much to hope for.
Keep hanging in there, little boy. You are truly surrounded by love.
Holding you close to us,
Your mommies
Friday, October 09, 2009
When it rains, it pours
We are camped out at the children's hospital because ML has caught something.
Wednesday night was purportedly our last night in our sweet first home; the plan was to move into my parents house and pack our hearts out yesterday and today. But ML was up all night screaming in unverified pain and barely consolable. We assumed it was gas and maybe the beginning of some GERD, so we took him to his PCP without an appointment at the moment they opened.
His temp was elevated and that opened up the Pandora's box of western medicine diagnostics. A baby less than six weeks old with a fever greater than 100.4 has to be ruled out for Meningitis and other bacterial infections, so even though his rectal temp was 100.FIVE! he was directly admitted to the hospital and "worked up": urinary catheter for urine culture, venapuncture for blood cultures, Lumbar puncture for CSF culture, IV insertion for scheduled antibiotics.
Since admission, his temp has increased on Tylenol to 102 even after 24 hours of antibiotics. This is kind of good b/c those antibiotics should have killed any bugs and reduced the fever if this was bacterial... but kind of bad b/c, "hey, what's causing the fever?!?"
Katy and I are trying to keep our cool. He is cranky and uncomfortable but eating, peeing, sleeping, and staying sufficiently hydrated. We have gotten only a few hours of sleep in the last several days. So far, nothing has grown out of the cultures (a good sign). In 48 hours (one more day) they will likely discharge him... Hopefully, even if his temps haven't come down yet.
Poor little boo.
We're still scheduled to close on Tuesday... Movers coming on Monday... Softball team and other peeps showing up to help pack tomorrow.
It's hard to complain about the rain when there are so many people standing around willing to hold up umbrellas for you...
Wednesday night was purportedly our last night in our sweet first home; the plan was to move into my parents house and pack our hearts out yesterday and today. But ML was up all night screaming in unverified pain and barely consolable. We assumed it was gas and maybe the beginning of some GERD, so we took him to his PCP without an appointment at the moment they opened.
His temp was elevated and that opened up the Pandora's box of western medicine diagnostics. A baby less than six weeks old with a fever greater than 100.4 has to be ruled out for Meningitis and other bacterial infections, so even though his rectal temp was 100.FIVE! he was directly admitted to the hospital and "worked up": urinary catheter for urine culture, venapuncture for blood cultures, Lumbar puncture for CSF culture, IV insertion for scheduled antibiotics.
Since admission, his temp has increased on Tylenol to 102 even after 24 hours of antibiotics. This is kind of good b/c those antibiotics should have killed any bugs and reduced the fever if this was bacterial... but kind of bad b/c, "hey, what's causing the fever?!?"
Katy and I are trying to keep our cool. He is cranky and uncomfortable but eating, peeing, sleeping, and staying sufficiently hydrated. We have gotten only a few hours of sleep in the last several days. So far, nothing has grown out of the cultures (a good sign). In 48 hours (one more day) they will likely discharge him... Hopefully, even if his temps haven't come down yet.
Poor little boo.
We're still scheduled to close on Tuesday... Movers coming on Monday... Softball team and other peeps showing up to help pack tomorrow.
It's hard to complain about the rain when there are so many people standing around willing to hold up umbrellas for you...
Monday, October 05, 2009
3 weeks old
Dear ML,
This is you a few minutes after you were born:
You are 3 weeks old today.
Time really flies.
I can't believe that you haven't always been here.
You seem wise, like an old soul.
You are doing all of your jobs: eating, sleeping, poo'ing, peeing, crying... You are thinking very seriously about coo'ing; you've given your mama a few fleeting smiles.
Sometimes you seem bored. You kind of look around, wide-eyed as if to say, "Ya'll got anything fun to do around here."
You are soft and like to be held. You quiet down when we pick you up and grunt yourself into tears when we put you down. Even the swing or a car ride is not that soothing to you as compared to the arms of parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and loving friends.
But you do sleep at night: 3, 4, 5, sometimes 6 hours (from 10pm to 4am when you are at your best.) Mama contends with the flip side of this which amounts to 3, 4, 5, sometimes 6 hours of near continuous cluster feeding during the day.
You eat well. Latched on since the day you arrived.
You take a bottle when Mama needs a break and we are giving you "binki sucking lessons" several times a day. (you can't seem to figure out how to keep the thing in your mouth... just like your brother at your age).
You have admirers near and far. So many were so anxiously anticipating your arrival. So many people have brought us gifts and food and sent well wishes in the ceremony of welcoming you.
Your brother, especially is "holding it all together" and thrilled that you are here- more impressive than it sounds as he has just recently turned 2 years old.
Our family is in the middle of great transitions. Mommy has gone back to work a few days a week, and next week we are moving to a new house.
You don't know it b/c this is how it has always been in your lifetime, but things are a little "tense". We won't always be this "in flux". The anxiety and uncertainty that you are no doubt perceiving, but have no way of naming or categorizing is just your mommy and your mama trying to figure out how to take care of 2 beautiful boys instead of one, and how to pack up our lives and relocate just a few towns down the interstate.
We have a good plan, a plausible strategy, and a lot of good people willing to help. But we are tired and a tiny bit overwhelmed. We are trying to take care of each other too... that will always be our goal- to find a few quiet moments, just the two of us, even when we are exhausted to look into each other's eyes and say, "thank you" for the luxury and blessing of doing "this thing", raising this family together.
You are all we ever dreamed of.
We love you,
Your mommies
This is you a few minutes after you were born:
You are 3 weeks old today.
Time really flies.
I can't believe that you haven't always been here.
You seem wise, like an old soul.
You are doing all of your jobs: eating, sleeping, poo'ing, peeing, crying... You are thinking very seriously about coo'ing; you've given your mama a few fleeting smiles.
Sometimes you seem bored. You kind of look around, wide-eyed as if to say, "Ya'll got anything fun to do around here."
You are soft and like to be held. You quiet down when we pick you up and grunt yourself into tears when we put you down. Even the swing or a car ride is not that soothing to you as compared to the arms of parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and loving friends.
But you do sleep at night: 3, 4, 5, sometimes 6 hours (from 10pm to 4am when you are at your best.) Mama contends with the flip side of this which amounts to 3, 4, 5, sometimes 6 hours of near continuous cluster feeding during the day.
You eat well. Latched on since the day you arrived.
You take a bottle when Mama needs a break and we are giving you "binki sucking lessons" several times a day. (you can't seem to figure out how to keep the thing in your mouth... just like your brother at your age).
You have admirers near and far. So many were so anxiously anticipating your arrival. So many people have brought us gifts and food and sent well wishes in the ceremony of welcoming you.
Your brother, especially is "holding it all together" and thrilled that you are here- more impressive than it sounds as he has just recently turned 2 years old.
Our family is in the middle of great transitions. Mommy has gone back to work a few days a week, and next week we are moving to a new house.
You don't know it b/c this is how it has always been in your lifetime, but things are a little "tense". We won't always be this "in flux". The anxiety and uncertainty that you are no doubt perceiving, but have no way of naming or categorizing is just your mommy and your mama trying to figure out how to take care of 2 beautiful boys instead of one, and how to pack up our lives and relocate just a few towns down the interstate.
We have a good plan, a plausible strategy, and a lot of good people willing to help. But we are tired and a tiny bit overwhelmed. We are trying to take care of each other too... that will always be our goal- to find a few quiet moments, just the two of us, even when we are exhausted to look into each other's eyes and say, "thank you" for the luxury and blessing of doing "this thing", raising this family together.
You are all we ever dreamed of.
We love you,
Your mommies
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