Happy Halloweenie!

XX XX

Big news last week as ultrasound results came in from all over...

Did you know that boy sperm swim faster than girl sperm, but die sooner. Girl sperm on the other hand tend swim slower and live longer. If sperm are introduced into the egg's environment at the time of ovulation, the odds are better that the boys will arrive on the scene first and fertilize the egg. If sperm are introduced into the womb a little before ovulation, the chance is greater that the little soldiers will have exhausted themselves before the egg even shows, and the chicks will arrive at the egg when most of the dudes are dead or dying. I imagine a sea of X-chromosomes in lip gloss and Clara Barton hats making their way through a microscopic Antietam of Y-chromosome carcasses.

Of course, sometimes the egg resists the charms of the Y-guys and only wants to join with an X-babe, and some of those X's are pretty butchy and keep up with the Y's... and some of those Y's live as long as the X's... You get the point, but science tells us then that if you are "trying" to have a baby, that is- timing ovulation to match intercourse and/or insemination, the little dudes have a better chance at prevailing...

So that's how things stood as we waited for news from L & A and F & L. Both couples have been trying for a long time now. We found out that they were pregnant almost immediately after conception and we all quietly held our breath, waiting for the first trimesters to go by. They got pregnant the same weekend, and had their gender-identifying ultrasound appointments at the exact same time, on the same day in prenatal offices about 100 miles apart. Their due dates are within a week of each other (at the same time of Mackenzie's and Ben's births last year.)

It's hard to anticipate or describe the mixture of joy and worry and love that washes over you as you witness your closest friends melt into the next phase: Parenthood. There are very real physical dangers associated with pregnancy, and psychological burdens that are palpable to us, but beyond our real comprehension. There's also a whiff of jealousy and concern that they are going to a place that time, life, and circumstances won't allow us to share. We wouldn't want it any other way, but if these people have been our chosen family, what can we be to them when they create a family of their own?

Then came the news... Girls! In both cases! We would have released joyful yelps in either case, of course. But somehow, the news of girls: odd-defying, strong-swimming girls made us giggle with knowing smirks. I mean, girls- that's awesome!

XX XX
:)

Bless the little children

Uncle Bob to Ben:

"Some day little Benji, you might be eating a bucket of chicken, and you might think you see a UFO, just like your uncle Bob..."

This post serves to remind the readers that every interaction you have with me (or in front of me) is fair play/fair game. I don't have you sign "release forms" when you say something truly ridiculous or seemingly insane in my presence. Especially, if you say it in front of a small, defenseless, still-mentally-forming child. I will not play the congressional leadership to your Mark Foley.* I believe in exposing the special brand of crazy that i observe in the world (and in the peeps around me.) This post also serves to remind the writer to make fun of other people less... or at least other peoples' friends... know what I mean?!?
t: "Hey, that chick has the craziest friends..."
observer: "Hello Monsieur Kettle, C'est moi- the POT- and you are black!"

*The Gin-Soaked Olive is in no way mocking the seriousness of the allegations against MF, or implying that "Uncle Bob" is in anyway associated with MF, the congressional leadership, or the possibility of dating Baby Benji online. Okay, okay, I guess there is some degree of mocking MF, pedophilial-asshole... And also throwing metaphoric daggers at the leaders of the federal congress who might have known about the inexcusable activities of this congressman, but not stopped them sooner. The Gin-Soaked Olive believes there is a karmic reason that Mark Foley's initials are MF, but you'll notice that Uncle Bob's initials are UB. Just because someone is a "UFO Believer" does not mean they deserve to be even vaguely associated with a "Mother effer." We here at the GSO believe that "Uncle Bob" is a cutie-pie, and we resent the implication that he is a CRAZY conspiracy-theorist. We know he would rather exercise naked in Time's Square than be compared to any type of politician- especially a gay politician who chases young boys... **

**We here at the GSO fear we've said too much.

Philly

I'm in Philly for a Nursing Management conference. Right now, to be more specific, I'm at The Last Drop described by here: Funky decor, friendly employees and first-rate cappuccinos make this a required stop. It's not like I did a wide internet review and put this on my "must see" list... I was set up nicely by Carly who lugged her laptop around all day to hand off to me; and who rigorously researched the location of this free wi-fi spot. The confrence is going well. It is interesting, well-organized and a little invigorating. This seems strange to me, but I am particularly enjoying the fact that I don't know a single other person attending the "Congress". There are supposedly 1200 people signed up for this seminar, and I'm convinced that at every next turn I'll run into someone I know- the world of nursing is rediculously small- but it's kind of cool just to be quiet and pensive and experiencing this professional time without any chit chat, idle banter, running commentary, and/or requirement for social engagement with others. That might sound a little anti-social but, oh well. I've had lovely chats with some of the folks I've run into at the sessions, but I've also spend hours at a time without talking to anyone at all... and that feels remarkably refreshing. A lot life requires me to or encourages me to "communticate" effectively and to the extreme. And maybe, it's just too much yammering for my own good. :)

The best part of Philly by far is getting the chance to spend some time with Tara and her peeps. Last night, I met Carly, Sam, and Monika who (apparently) are faithful Gin-Soaked Olive readers. It gives me (as a wanna-be-writer) a tiny smile to realize that people who've never met us "tune in" to see what we might have to say. (okay, a big grin!)

Real life is better than fiction

1. adjective

2. noun (plural)

3. names of a couple

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5. type of liquor

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7. adjective

8. type of a liquor

9. a vegetable

10. food item

11. food item

12. activity

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21. card game

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Saturday night, Katy and I had an interesting(1) dinner with a wonderful group of gays(2). Ivette and Rene(3) brought Jaime and Dan(4) and a bottle of vodka(5). Tricia and Tonja(6) brought fancy(7) eggplant dip and red wine(8).

We started with pumkin(9) soup and ate grilled salmon(10) and chicken(11). Later, during an after-dinner smoke(12), Tonja did the Mill-rate(13) dance and Katy hyperventilated(14) until she fell to the ground.

After dancing, we played games. Jaime flicked(15) the wood(16) until it came loose. Eventually, Ivette had to do a shot(17) and suck(18) the Jenga(19). Paw-paw(20) taught the group slap(21). But he was too drunk(22) to win.

A designated(22) driver(23) was had by all!

525,600 moments so dear...

'Deal or No Deal'... WTF.

Seriously, that's 37 minutes of my life I will never get back. Don't ask me how I tore myself away before finding out what deal the buxom yet wholesome, southern blonde negotiated for herself, but i assure you it was not easy.

How did this shit become prime time TV? And more importantly, why am I watching?

Truth: I am the worst kind of couch potato/ television-enthusiast because, I think I am above it all... I think I'm so intellectual and "well-read," but when it comes right down to it: after a long day of battling the elements, toiling the toils, and speeding down the interstate,

I just can't help myself...

The clothes are so bizarre, and the hair is so big, and the accents so um... diverse (?)... The cases containing nothing but placards denoting monetary prizes are so... silver and "official looking" and the chance to win so, so... faint... and completely disassociated with any talent, or logic... It boggles the mind... it couldn't be more entertaining if there were several dozen clowns trying to load a "partridge family" of midgets into a toy car.

And 37 minutes later I find myself screaming to Howie Mandel,

"NO DEAL!!!"

I blink. Wipe the spittle from my face. Look around at the crusted over remnants of tonight's dinner- dishes abandoned on the coffee table... and i tip my hat to the gods of mediocrity as I'm suddenly inspired to transfer the 3 day pile-up of socks that has accumulated to the hamper and wash the dishes.

Speaking of sitting on your ass and winning millions, (well really billions...) Did you know that Google bought Youtube for 1.65 BILLION dollars?!? The site was introduced on the internet in February 2005. Lord knows how much time and energy went into creating and tweaking the program/technology, but this inconceivable amount of money will be pretty much shared by three geeks who played their own real, live version of Deal or No Deal! Well done, gentlemen... Well done.

By the bi-

Yesterday was national coming out day. Happy (belated) free to be you (and me) day!
Peace.

Vegas baby!

Enjoy the photographic evidence of our trip to Vegas by clicking on the hotel.

Viva Las Va-cay

Well, we're back from sin city and the trip was fine. Not fine like, "just so-so", but fine as in Sweet, yummy, flashy, and much of what we were hoping for. We stayed here. The room looked exactly like this, except with two beds... We saw the well-intentioned front-desk staff typing furiously when she realized we were 2 women with the same last name. (Hey lady, she's not my sister...) We didn't say anything b/c "king" or "queen" doesn't really matter to us, and hey, it's nice to have an extra bed in case you meet some homeless folk whose company you enjoy.

The first night we ate here and Kt swears she saw Robin Leach. All I saw was an old, fat guy with a bimbo on his arm, but after seeing this, I'm inclined to agree it was him. His date was so skinny I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have even seen her if she hadn't been wearing a dress with broad HORIZONTAL stripes. We also got to see the Bodies exhibit (Amazing, but a little unsettling), the Titanic exhibit (more entertaining than we expected), An Ansel Adams exhibit (more exciting for katy than for me), and Lewis Black (more exciting for me than for katy.)

A highlight for sure was catching up with 'Gret after seeing her show. She happened to be playing Tina the night we were at the wedding and it was brilliant and fun. I don't think i could ever tire of seeing little 'Gret Menzies playing the part of a trashy bride flippin' both frickin birds in her "Wedding" photos. (We'll see if we can get her to pull that off just once next October!)