Open letter to the Governor

Dear Governor M. Jodi Rell:

I was sad to see the recent quote attributed to you “I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. The vote in the committee does not change my mind on that. I will veto the bill."

No matter how many people agree with the above statement, it just isn’t true anymore. Students of history know the falsehood of the argument that same-sex marriage has never existed in civilization. But when the state of Massachusetts, and the Netherlands, Belgium, Canada, and Spain legally opened the institution of marriage to gays and lesbians, the notion that modern marriage could only be between a man and a woman was forever discredited.

Hundreds of thousands of same sex couples in our state and around the world are embracing and embodying marriage (whether or not the name is legally allowed.) When these couples support and love each other, stay together through good times and bad, in sickness and health, raise children, buy property, pay their bills, their taxes, attend to their extended families, help their neighbors, and live the very essence of modern marriage, it becomes ironic and pitiful that a primary sect of the population continues to shake their heads and “not believe” in our relationships. It is as if one voter’s right to a personal opinion is allowed to supersede another voter’s right to a validated existence. Your assertion that creating a separate-but-equal institution erases discrimination cannot be taken seriously. Your matter-of-fact claim that you and I can both get access to equal rights and protections is insulting. You are allowed to call your relationship marriage and I must call my marriage a civil union. You carry your marriage and protections with you across state lines; I must leave my rights and the chance to legally defend my family here when I need to leave Connecticut. You remind me of a politically powerful ostrich, denouncing discrimination before drinking out of a “no gays allowed” water fountain and sticking her head in the sand.

I understand that many voters were raised at a time in society when we did not discuss such things. Where the exclusion and denial of homosexual relationships was ordinary and gay people could live peacefully as long as they pretended to be straight. I understand that many people believe that homosexual relationships are immoral. But many people believe that divorce is immoral and do not expect the government to withhold that option. We do not outlaw theft and murder because the acts are immoral, but because the acts infringe on the rights of other citizens. I have yet to hear evidence or a rational argument for how same-sex marriage harms or takes something away from a non-gay citizen.

Plainly, Madam Governor, I ask you to reconsider your position. Hear the arguments and debates without an already made up mind. Today's public policy should not be based on the prejudice, intolerance, and myths of our upbringing. Gays and Lesbians are getting married. It is time for the state of Connecticut to legally recognize that truth.

Regards,
T. Weber Tierney