Ted Kennedy's worst nightmare

I just can't handle the media reporting on this... They've got Obama defeated in 2012.

The spin is, "the democrats are reaching too far", the country's not with them. I'm telling you, the democrats are acting too much like cowards... Since when does a 19 seat majority in the senate indicate presidential impotence?!?

When did 60 votes become the required number to pass ANY legislation?!? Whatever happened to a 51 vote majority

The composition of the 109th Congress (2005 - 2007) was as follows: Senate: R=55, D=44 House: R=231, D=202

The composition of the 110th Congress (2007 - 2009) was as follows: Senate: R=49, D=49 House: D=233 R=198

The composition of the 111th Congress (2009 - 2010) is as follows: Senate: D=60, R=40 House: D=257 R=1708

UNTIL, Scott Brown is sworn in and then it will be Fifty- NINE to FORTY-FOUR... Apparently, a filibuster will be law of the land and this means that somehow the MINORITY is in charge.

W.T.F.

Why are the democrats such ball-sacs? look at this: Apparently Jim Webb (D- Virginia) believes that the other 59 elected senators that are either Democrats or caucusing with the Dems are not in power, not allowed to govern because this screwball that got elected in the state that every conservative LOVES to hate (MA) needs to take his seat and filibusterer the shit out of the majority party's platform...

Where's the political memory?!? Having only a five sear majority did not prevent "W" from doing whateverthefuck he wanted... I just don't get it? Why are the democrats such ball sacs?!?

It is hard to throw your heart and money and energy behind the political party that gets beat up by the Christian right for being everything from blasphemous, to "anti-religion" to evil, but then the members of that party spend most of every day turning every cheek- like a bunch of pale, skinny boys getting beat up in an ally. I just don't get it. What are they doing?!?

ugggh...

On the home front, we are tired. I've been hacking my way through the last couple of weeks and I'm getting sick of feeling sick. The cumulative effect of the holidays and the change in sleep patterns for both boys, plus JB's surgery and the few days of NO sleep that brought has been amazing. This weekend, we got 2 full nights of sleep and still, we were like, "huh... what's going on?!?"

It sure can make a woman feel weak. Maybe if I just stop talking about how tired I am the fatigue will improve... Worth a try, right?

Bean

This is a re-post from last year... the time gone by has changed, but not the sentiment.

-------------



Just a shout out to our Bean. We can't believe it will be 5 years this summer since you died. We keep you close every day and try to live up to and honor your zest for life, your love for family, your willingness to jump under a car hood to help a friend.

You would'a loved these kids, Bean. Hope you;re watching them.
I think you are right here with us, the very sparkle in their little eyes.


XXXOOO!!! Happy Birthday, Bean!

We're home

Maybe I was too Pollyanna going in, but JB's tonsil/adenoids/ear tube surgery was so much worse than I expected. At the end of the day, JB did fine, but he was pretty miserable and he acted like a REAL asshole two year old when it came to taking his medicine and eating/drinking.

No matter what we asked of him, the answer was "no". The reverse psychology we tried was confusing even to me... At one point I heard myself telling him, "okay, I'm going to go tell the nurse to give this pain medication to another little boy, since I don't want u to have it."

?!?

I wasn't saying it angrily. Just sweetly trying to entice him into desiring something he wasn't allowed to have...

Totally fucked up!!!

Our biggest problem was that hospital discharge was contingent on his drinking and eating. But the more we harped on it, the more he refused: face all swollen, thick drool falling out, voice distorted and muffled, eyes rolling around in his head from the narcotics. I would have given anything to let him just do whateverthefuck he wanted to, but apparently dehydration means all sorts of terrible things in this scenario; not the least of which is increased discomfort for him.

We used the alarm on the iPhone (as we have been for potty training) to negotiate a sip of apple juice every 5 minutes. And TWO hrs later, he had put away 118 cc (4oz).

Nightmare.

I cannot hound a kid this little, this sick, for this long, with such poor results without wanting to off myself... Not. Kidding.

Thing was, except for two bites of a banana, that 118 cc was our only evidence that he could swallow after the surgery. That was literally ALL we could get him to take in after two days of not eating. Finally, when I was resigned to the fact that we would be staying another night at the hospital (visions of ML's illness and the emotional panic of "we're never getting out of here" PTSD dancing in my head) the surgeon came in and suggested he might do better at home.

Indeed. Apparently, with 2 days of IV on board, it would take 36-48 hours of him drinking NOTHING to get dehydrated. And all we have to get into him is 2-ish ounces every 3-4 hours. ML burps up more liquid than that!!!

So, JB has done better at home. A lot better. Including a nap in his own bed, a meal of at least 15 mini penne and several sips of both water and milk, a bath, brushing of teeth, and piling into a queen sized bed to sleep with his moms (and not a hospital twin).

Some advice for any that follow:

1) If your kid has never really had juice, it does not magically become an enticing reward or treat, post anesthesia. I think he might now never drink the stuff.

2) The same is true for jello, pudding, and popsicles. Though I think he might come around to these foods tomorrow, it seems that JB isn't really into the "sweet treats".

3) Handy Manny is everything that Bob the builder is not: calm, confident, polite, low-key, sweet, etc. I have a serious crush on Handy Manny (where I just seriously wanted to crush Bob the Builder)... Buying the Handy Manny DVD for this hospitalization may have just saved my life!

Not. kidding.

I'm saying this after watching that DVD all frigging day; and I don't even care if I have to watch it again tomorrow.

4) Sippy cups (with the valve taken out) is the way to dump some beverage in their mouth, when you are looking around- as I was- for some type of "hose" apparatus... If only I could find a way to spray some liquid in there... then he would be force to swallow it...

Pre-operative fun times:

A FEW MORE COMMENTS:

1) I don't know how single parents do this shit. I'm not kidding. My wife and I have been sleep deprived for weeks, probably months... AND we have each other AND we have family pretty much always available to help. AND family living with us right now taking charge of caring for ML during this. I just don't know or get how single parents do it.

2) Haiti. Earthquake. Awful.

3) Have you read "The conservative case for Gay Marriage" Newsweek cover story this week? It was written by Ted Olsen (conservative lawyer that successfully argued Bush v. Gore in front of the supreme court.) Ted Olsen and David Boies (Progressive lawyer that unsuccessfully argued Bush v. Gore to the Supreme Court) are the plaintiff lawyers attempting to overturn Prop 8 in California. I know the risk these lawyers are taking risks with my rights. If they bring the Prop 8 trial to this Supreme Court and they lose, it could set back marriage equality DECADES... That is why initially, HRC and Lamda Legal and mainstream gay rights groups opposed these two, white, straight guys taking charge in this battle.

But I can't help feel that they are doing it the "right" way. The other option: Enlisting only liberals in the fight and "waiting for the right time"??? Could there be a more "ball-sac" way of "demanding equality"?!?

I think not.

These guys... If they pull it off... Are going to go down in history as brave, American heroes. They are heroes in my book even if they don't pull it off. The arguments they are making are void of trickery, obvious, and compelling. Handy Manny has some competition for my heart today...

You can keep track of the trial (with commentary) here:

I'm going to try and put the feed in the sidebar... it's very interesting.

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Holy worst-night-of-sleep EVER, Batman

It was a sinus-y, drippy, achy, restless, "my-son-is-having-surgery tomorrow, so I'm not going to properly medicate myself" attempt at slumber; punctuated by ML's Q2hour "please pop my binki back in" whimper, and JB's Q3hour "I'm coughing, I need water, WHAT DOES IT MEAN I'M GOING TO THE HOSPITAL?!?" restlessness.

1/2 way through the 5 hours I allotted myself to lay down, I remembered some ? urban legend about Vick's Vapor rub as a conductor of electricity that may cause fire if an EKG machine or defibrillator is used on someone that has used Vick's Vapor rub... What is that? Is that from ER in the 90s? Did I make this up? GSO readers, please respond!

My alarm was set for 4:18, but at 3:50am, I just couldn't take it anymore.

I've popped the Tylenol sinus, am going to have some tea, a light breakfast before the boy (who is not supposed to eat anything) wakes up. Then I'll check on the laundry, the (sort of) packed bag, Katy, and then wake JB so we both can have a hot, hot shower together to loosen up the mucus.

He's going in for ear tubes, tonsillectomy, and adnoidectomy. We expect to be there about 26 or 28 hours and then back home. There's a one week moratorium on school, and a 2 week moratorium on "physical activity"... That should be fun with a 2.33 year old :)

We've been telling them all week that he is sick with a cough and a drippy, messy thing. They haven't seemed too worried. This attention to keeping his providers informed has led him to 2 pediatrician visits in 5 days. I guess there's a chance they will look at him, hear his lungs, and/or decide that they can't do the surgery, but hopefully we can get this over with.

AS FOR ME, if anyone asks, IT'S ALLERGIES!!! IT's ALLERGIES, and if it looks worse than that, I'VE BEEN CRYING- A LOT!!! I know they don't want anyone even the least bit sick at this hospital. But I promise to be all Sudefeded up and never cough except into an article of my clothing and stay hidden in his room... I just couldn't not be there. I think I would ache and cramp and pace to DEATH if I couldn't be there.

011110

I am loving these new dates...

People wait thousands of years for this type of symmetry!!!

The (tiny) Godfather

For about a 1/2 a year, we have been getting JB to lend us his ear by telling him, "I have a secret I want to tell you."

We tell him we have a secret and he brings his ear dutifully near the secret-bearer's mouth.

Then one of his moms whispers the secret: "I love you."

His response varies.
Sometimes, he giggles and says, "No, mommy."
Sometimes he nods and says, "yeah."
Sometimes he thrills us with a return whisper: "I love you too."

We've done it over and over again and sometimes he even tells us the secret unprompted.

Tonight, JB told his brother, "ML, I have a secret I want to tell you..."

I wasn't there, but Katy told me... She waited, excitedly. She smiled at the adorableness she knew she was about to witness...

JB leaned his lips close to his 4 month old brother's ear and whispered:

"Big. Brother."

(Baaaaaaaahahahah ahhahahahhahahhaha.)

Not exactly sure his point, but it seemed like it might have been some kind of warning.

--------------------------
UPDATE: He's done it a few more times now, and the secret JB seems to be whispering is:
"I'm your big brother."

Back to children's hospital next week

JB told us tonight that his "ear hurts". In the history of all his ear infections, he's never told us that. Either b/c he didn't have the language, or b/c the fluid didn't cause him all that much discomfort. He's never tugged on his ears, he's never moved his head with any indication that he was having ear pain, even when he was little...

That one time his eardrum ruptured, he did scream all night, but he was a baby and we were new parents... we didn't know what the hell was going on.

Now he's got the words, and it was just a little sadder to hear the complaint directly from his little mouth. But actually, we've been waiting for this...

Last week (or maybe 2 weeks ago) he went for his ENT follow up visit (every six months since his ear tube placement surgery last December) and his hearing is back to being significantly affected due to fluid behind his ear drums. Also, his tonsils are big and the ENT told Kt that our boy needed to get the ear tubes replaced and also that he should get his tonsils and adenoids removed.

This is an overnight stay and we were initially torn (having a little PTSD about ML's illness and returning to the sight of our 7 day "vacation of terror" this past October) as time passes, we both can't help but get excited for JB who doesn't even know that he is sick and the reason he is drippy, whinny, coughing, snoring, etc is b/c he needs surgery. We're "excited" (though stressed) because we both believe that he will be a new little boy without all this fluid and pressure in his ears and if he can breathe better and therefore feel more rested on a regular basis...

The surgery is a week from Tuesday. Tonight, we gave him Tylenol which is sucked down like a man dying of thirst in the desert. Thursday is his pre-op physical. If he's still complaining tomorrow, we'll be forced to call the pediatrician and/or the surgeon and see if they want/need us to do anything sooner than next week.

Two of my sweetest moments as a mom...

Happened in bathrooms today...

1) JB is in full potty training mode. He's in underwear except at night and has been relatively accident free. Today I had to go to the bathroom and he insisted on coming in with me. He was distractedly playing with a toy, but when he heard my first drop of pee hit the water, he immediately turned his attentive eyes to me. With a proud, eager smile he congratulated me: "GOOD JOB, MOMMY!"

(Sigh)

2) Tonight as I was getting him ready for bed, we were working thru our routine. The regular dental hygiene segment is as follows: JB brushes with a standard kid's toothbrush for as long as he wants and then I brush his teeth with that same toothbrush. Then, he gets to use my electric brush. (I used it as a reward one night thinking I would forever regret that split second of poor judgement, but he really likes it, and uses it well and actually puts it on his teeth, etc.)

Tonight he balked when I handed him his toothbrush and just as I thought it would be a big'ol battle, he asked sweetly, "You brush my teeth, Mommy?" and he handed the brush back to me. He allowed me to really get in there and brush. He stopped to ask me if I saw any food on his teeth (??) and in the middle of my cleaning- his mouth full of spittle- he told me encouragingly, "You are a really good toothbrusher, Mommy."

I'm sure this kid will say plenty of things in his life that will reflect back my not-so-deeply-hidden inner asshole, but today many of the things he said made me think "Wow, we are doing pretty good with this parenting thing."

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Blog abandonment

Yes, we are still alive...

We've had house guests and family visiting since the 19th. The new home is housing this mayhem and merriment swimmingly. The boys and their beds have been moved several times with very few negative effects. At the busiest (Christmas) there were 9 of us here; the four
of us (kt, JB, ML, and me) all in our room.

Kt's dad (g'pa) came the sat before Christmas (19th) thru the 26th. "The grannies" arrived on the 23rd with Kt's brother, Josh, and his fiancé, Linda. J and L left with g'pa. The grannies are here for 2 more weeks to help us keep ML out of day care a little longer.

Kt started back to work last Monday. Originally, she wasn't going to go back until Next week, but a slow start has it's benefits. Plus, she got pd for 5 days, but only had to work 2.75 days. It's a mountain of madness to fall back into., but she's handling it well. It has been a crazy time but by now, I think we are getting used to crazy times. I have a lot to blog about, but not a lot of awake time that isn't consumed by my desire to suck the marrow out of these precious times with these adorable boys. I've been lucky too to spend some time with good peeps and also catching up on some movies and HBO.

Thank you to all GSO readers. You have been an amazing source of support to us in 2009. Thank u for being a part of our extended family.

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Human Nature

We got about 8 to 10 inches of snow overnight...
AWESOME, except that our driveway is about 3 times as big as our old driveway. I couldn't do the whole thing and had to ask the Mrs. for assistance.

This is good timing, not only b/c we'll have snow for Christmas, but because JB is plow- obsessed right now. When the plow came, he stared dumbfounded for a while and then abandoned his zen-toddler-state:

"Mommy, he be gone soon?"

Apparently this thing I try to teach myself- to be here now and not worry about the other shoe dropping in the middle of both shoes flying high in the air- is a far deeper obstacle that I can imagine.

I told JB that the plow would leave soon, but not for several minutes. He returned to silent awe, then he told me:

"I want 2 plows... not one, two... not three"

I couldn't follow at first, but then I realized he was still worried about plow#1 leaving and some derivative of the following must have occurred to him: "If one plow is this blissful... two would be amazing... Must. keep. plows. in. my. view."

When the plow left, we waved him goodbye and wished him well and JB turned to me with 2 extended fingers and said, "I want 2 plows." I thought to myself,
"Don't we all son, don't we all."

About 10 minutes later, another plow came by. I scooped him up dramatically and ran to the window, somewhat excited that it would seem to him I had made his wish a reality.

A microsecond later, the plow not yet to our house, he turned and said, "I want three, Mommy."

And now for some political commentary

Words fail me when I try to express how much i despise Joe Lieberman.
IN our house this guy is referred to as "Public Enemy Number ONE"

When he ran for VP of the united states on the democratic ticket in 2000, he simultaneously ran for his senate seat, even though we had a Republican Governor who would have appointed a Republican to his seat if his party won the presidency. Essentially he was saying to his constituents, "I'll have a job no matter what," and to his Democratic supporters, "It doesn't matter to me if we win or lose the white house (I"ll have a job either way)."

Then in 2006, after he promised he would abide by the results of the democratic primary race, he didn't...
running as an independent even though the Democratic candidate beat him in the run0ff...

At the time, when I wrote this little ditty to express my feelings about him, I had no idea how much worse things would get for his and my relationship. I did not know for example, that he would address the Republican national convention, or that he would stump for and endorse John McCain in the 2008 election. [Though i guess i should have seen it coming because he owed his seat to Republicans in the 2006 election.]

I knew that he would lie about what a majority of Americans want (real health care reform). But I had no idea that he would hold health care reform down on a pool table while Republican senators took turns hostage in such a hostile manner.

I had no idea that I could feel more contempt than I did back in those days... I was so naive.

Holy Joe, I hardly knew you...

Neuro check

JB's been having night terrors. He wakes up 2 or 3 times a night screaming and crying. There's a chance this would have happened anyway, but I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner with all of the changes in the last few months. He's been potty training too- so there's that, in terms of stress. And Katy and I would both give odds that his ears are full and he'll need tubes again.

Despite all this, he is doing pretty good in underwear. Yesterday we had a shit-storm blow out, LITERALLY. But that only happened once before and this time it was really my fault... I mean, it was the first time he even SAW a remote control car... I'm surprised his head didn't explode. I should'a been toileting him every ten minutes.

Today was ML's neuro follow up. I cried this morning (partially) in anticipation. It was really all that we hoped for:
1) He looks great
2) He's growing out of his phenobarbital dose, so we'll titrate that down to gone.
3) A repeat EEG is unnecessary unless he has more seizures.
4) A repeat MRI would only be for "curiosity's sake" and isn't worth the risks associated with necessary sedation as long as he continues to develop normally.
5) Developmentally, he seems normal.

He's such a sweet, happy baby, it's hard to imagine there could be anything wrong with him. The stressful part has not been imagining how it might be if there were something wrong with his brain (you've seen the videos of him singing... Who really gives a shit if that's who he is, that's who he is)... The stressful part has been imagining how it might be to have to watch him be poked and prodded, and tested for more of his life.

It is a relief, but it is also an exhausted exhalation that will not entirely give up the concern until he is long off the Meds without any more seizure activity.

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Snow puppy

Imitation is the highest form of flattery

Setting: Our house, 6am,
6+ inches of snow fell over night

Mom #1: (pointing out the window) JB, wanna see the snow?
Mom #2: Look! It snowed!!!

JB: I need my Teddy bear. (Pressing teddybear's face to the window and employing a high-pitched "teaching tone") SEE, TEDDYBEAR??? See the snow?!?  See it???

Both moms: (Jaws dropped, wide-smiles, laughing silently)

Kt: (Quietly to T) This is where we get to see If we're good parents, I guess.

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Cuteness

Here are some pics to hold you over...



I know, I know... He's ridiculous!!!



Well, they both are!