The week has been hard already and the snow is coming now.
Snow is not a metaphor... I really mean "snow" as in "wintery mix" that will either bury us or miss us completely- we won't know until it is over this weekend. The weather people are way off their game this year.
I am hurting from a lack of sleep. I stayed up Monday to write that post and then was up most of the night with both kids and in the morning I felt like I might not make it. The boys have been needy and I have been short tempered at times. Tuesday's drop off left my nerves shot because I spent an hour rushing them (esp JB) out of the house. Rushing the kids is my least favorite part of parenting (though fingernail and toenail trimming run a close 2nd)... but there is really no way around rushing them sometimes. I tried not to cry on the drive to work, but a few tears did leak out.
Last night I got a few hours of sleep and woke up feeling better. I even worked out tonight, so I am feeling NOT as much like DYING as I was the day before... But JB was sent home from school after vomiting. And ML slept fairly well last night, so tonight will likely not go as well. Both kids have terrible coughs. They are drippy messes and i wouldn't be surprised if JB's stomach thing is merely associated with mucus production and inadvertent digestion of said mucus. I say that now fully aware I may be cleaning vomit and/or diarrhea and changing sheets before dawn. Now Katy seems to be coming down with something. None of us really felt like eating diner. She asked for a protein shake and we gave JB a few sips of that with some pedialite. ML ate almost as much as either of them in the form of drippy rice cereal.
The wife and I have tickets to see a show in NYC this weekend (Christmas gift from my sis and Bill- who have agreed to also take our kids for 2 nights.) We have been looking toward the weekend like it is a drink of water and we are in the desert, but if JB is actually sick (there seems to be 2 bugs going around day care: a real 24 hour GI bug and then the "your kid puked at day care, but went home and didn't seem sick at all pseudo-bug") and/or if Katy is sick, the weekend might not be a weekend at all but just a drive in for a show.
I hope not. I'm really looking forward to spending some alone time with her and perhaps getting 8 or so hrs of uninterrupted sleep.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Explaining the world: Act One, Manikins
So this is the thing about becoming a parent...
A thoughtful individual plans for it, but it is exceedingly difficult to imagine how it will manifest itself... or when.
This week has been full of heartwarming and amazing interactions with JB that have kept an exciting and startling notion ever-present in the frontal lobe of my brain. Namely, this: On a daily basis it is our job to EXPLAIN the ENTIRE WORLD to these kids. I cannot tell you how many times in the last 2 weeks I nearly died: D.I.E.D. at how cute and smart our 2 (and nearly 1/2) year old is. No offense to ML. I'm sure he will be as heart-wrenchingly glorious, but from my perspective 2 and 1/2 is where most of life gets taught and (for better or for worse) in a tentatively adorable way, gets regurgitated back.
I've been listening to a lot of "This American Life" lately, so this post is going to be broken down into 4 posts and/or 4 Acts.
Act One: Manikins
So Saturday is the day we (JB and I) go to gymnastics. He started going with my sister during ML's illness. He went 3 or 4 weeks in a row when she was taking care of him and at that point we just signed him up. When he started, he couldn't jump (2 feet simultaneously off the ground) and he wouldn't do the stretches (instead just stubbornly standing with his hands clasped behind his back, staring down at the mat like a very tiny Rainman while everyone else did the warm up stretches.) Now, nearly a 1/2 a year later, he has all these moves and stretches and so much more control over his body. It is really impressive and it is really sweet.
This week after gymnastics, I had a lot of errands to run, so I called Katy and told her that JB and I were headed out into the world. He got a haircut, we got a bagel, and then went to a few stores to look for clothes for him and some other things.
He seems to really like shopping. I don't mean that he wants to buy things, he likes to go out into the world and look at things and ask what they are and what they are for, and listen and look and (sometimes) touch. I mean he is a bit of a "student of life" and there is no better way to learn about life in a capitalisitc society than hitting the shops. He understands that we go into stores and the "stuff" contained within isn't "ours" unless we buy it. This took a little bit of time to get him to understand and now even though he doesn't really understand about the different costs of things, he knows that we go to work to "bring home the bacon" and that the stores just don't give you what you want... unless you give them some money or a credit card. He understands there are different kinds of stores and will ask if we say we are going to a store: "Grocery?" or sometimes, "Which one?"
Sometimes while shopping, he asks if we can buy something; but he's just as likely to point to something in a store and ask us to "look at this, Mommy." or ask, "What is that?" or tell us what something seems to be to him: "That looks like Lion King, Mommy."
He was super sweet when I took him into an electronic/game store. Browsing for our barely played Wii, i let him roam fairly untethered around looking at the covers of the empty game cases. At one point, he crawled half his body under a shelving unit and I looked at him like, "What the hell are you doing?!?" He wiggled out and presented me with a penny that he had just rescued from what was sure to be a losing battle with the nozzle of a carelessly run vacuum: "Here. I found this, Mommy."
Then in the second hand store, he tried on all the shoes I asked him to and he begged for the 4 sizes too big "Lightening McQueen" rain boots.
At the party supply store, he turned into an 80 year old (easily thrilled) woman before my eyes: Every new color of table cloth and decorative cup was like a miracle to him. "Mommy. Mommy. Look. Look. I wanna show you something... look, blue cups!!! Mommy. Mommy. Look, Green cups!! Ma. Mommy. Pink cups!!!" I was snickering and giggling, and laughing through the entire store. There were life size M and Ms that almost sent him over the edge. There was a wall of Mylar balloons that nearly blew his mind. There were FORKS IN EVERY COLOR!!! When we went down the aisle that had "themed supplies" he found a "Cars" plastic platter, chip and dip holder with Mater and Lightening McQueen on it. He held up the platter near his tiny head, and tilting it up toward me he whimpered: "Mommy, Look!!! This is Adorable!!!"
The entire time we were in there, he didn't ask to buy any of this stuff. I know b/c I was so in love with him during this outing that if he had desired a package of cups in every color, they would probably be in our basement right now...
He just seemed to be enjoying the fact that it is all out there to look at and see. Truth be told, this is a lot of what shopping is to me too. Sometimes I want to go out and spend money. But more often than not, I can walk thru a store like target, fill up a cart and slowly unfill it as I approach the checkout. Just looking around at all the shit that is out there, is fairly satisfying to me.
Last stop was Gap. I had to return a gift that was purchased on line and it took a long time to get a store credit b/c the computer kept just wanting to credit the card that was originally charged. JB was getting a little rambunctious and at some point I turned my attention to him. He looked at me and then at these two manikins nearby. After several moments of eyeballing the manikins he said, "What that mommy?" I explained what they were and the name: Manikin. I explained what they were for: to display the clothes and that they weren't real, they only existed so that people could see how the clothes look when they get worn. JB asked me, "He going somewhere?" I was perplexed for a few seconds until I grasped his point.
"No," I replied. "That one is wearing a bag, and that one is wearing a coat. They are dressed to look like they are going somewhere, but they don't leave the store. They don't walk or move. They aren't real."
He thought about this and asked a follow up, "They just pretending?" I agreed with that assessment and re-iterated the purpose of manikins to display clothes. Then he looked around the store with the confused and somewhat horrified expression of someone who wakes up to a world he barely recognizes:"Mommy, they everywhere."
I could seriously have died. He slays me. In the 3 days since the eye-opening discovery of manikins, JB cannot stop talking about them. And I too am forever changed. They really are kind of creepy. The ones in Gap don't even heads. and if you go into a store like that and you are just looking around with the intention to notice such things, they really ARE everywhere.
But more importantly, How cute is this kid?
A thoughtful individual plans for it, but it is exceedingly difficult to imagine how it will manifest itself... or when.
This week has been full of heartwarming and amazing interactions with JB that have kept an exciting and startling notion ever-present in the frontal lobe of my brain. Namely, this: On a daily basis it is our job to EXPLAIN the ENTIRE WORLD to these kids. I cannot tell you how many times in the last 2 weeks I nearly died: D.I.E.D. at how cute and smart our 2 (and nearly 1/2) year old is. No offense to ML. I'm sure he will be as heart-wrenchingly glorious, but from my perspective 2 and 1/2 is where most of life gets taught and (for better or for worse) in a tentatively adorable way, gets regurgitated back.
I've been listening to a lot of "This American Life" lately, so this post is going to be broken down into 4 posts and/or 4 Acts.
Act One: Manikins
So Saturday is the day we (JB and I) go to gymnastics. He started going with my sister during ML's illness. He went 3 or 4 weeks in a row when she was taking care of him and at that point we just signed him up. When he started, he couldn't jump (2 feet simultaneously off the ground) and he wouldn't do the stretches (instead just stubbornly standing with his hands clasped behind his back, staring down at the mat like a very tiny Rainman while everyone else did the warm up stretches.) Now, nearly a 1/2 a year later, he has all these moves and stretches and so much more control over his body. It is really impressive and it is really sweet.
This week after gymnastics, I had a lot of errands to run, so I called Katy and told her that JB and I were headed out into the world. He got a haircut, we got a bagel, and then went to a few stores to look for clothes for him and some other things.
He seems to really like shopping. I don't mean that he wants to buy things, he likes to go out into the world and look at things and ask what they are and what they are for, and listen and look and (sometimes) touch. I mean he is a bit of a "student of life" and there is no better way to learn about life in a capitalisitc society than hitting the shops. He understands that we go into stores and the "stuff" contained within isn't "ours" unless we buy it. This took a little bit of time to get him to understand and now even though he doesn't really understand about the different costs of things, he knows that we go to work to "bring home the bacon" and that the stores just don't give you what you want... unless you give them some money or a credit card. He understands there are different kinds of stores and will ask if we say we are going to a store: "Grocery?" or sometimes, "Which one?"
Sometimes while shopping, he asks if we can buy something; but he's just as likely to point to something in a store and ask us to "look at this, Mommy." or ask, "What is that?" or tell us what something seems to be to him: "That looks like Lion King, Mommy."
He was super sweet when I took him into an electronic/game store. Browsing for our barely played Wii, i let him roam fairly untethered around looking at the covers of the empty game cases. At one point, he crawled half his body under a shelving unit and I looked at him like, "What the hell are you doing?!?" He wiggled out and presented me with a penny that he had just rescued from what was sure to be a losing battle with the nozzle of a carelessly run vacuum: "Here. I found this, Mommy."
Then in the second hand store, he tried on all the shoes I asked him to and he begged for the 4 sizes too big "Lightening McQueen" rain boots.
At the party supply store, he turned into an 80 year old (easily thrilled) woman before my eyes: Every new color of table cloth and decorative cup was like a miracle to him. "Mommy. Mommy. Look. Look. I wanna show you something... look, blue cups!!! Mommy. Mommy. Look, Green cups!! Ma. Mommy. Pink cups!!!" I was snickering and giggling, and laughing through the entire store. There were life size M and Ms that almost sent him over the edge. There was a wall of Mylar balloons that nearly blew his mind. There were FORKS IN EVERY COLOR!!! When we went down the aisle that had "themed supplies" he found a "Cars" plastic platter, chip and dip holder with Mater and Lightening McQueen on it. He held up the platter near his tiny head, and tilting it up toward me he whimpered: "Mommy, Look!!! This is Adorable!!!"
The entire time we were in there, he didn't ask to buy any of this stuff. I know b/c I was so in love with him during this outing that if he had desired a package of cups in every color, they would probably be in our basement right now...
He just seemed to be enjoying the fact that it is all out there to look at and see. Truth be told, this is a lot of what shopping is to me too. Sometimes I want to go out and spend money. But more often than not, I can walk thru a store like target, fill up a cart and slowly unfill it as I approach the checkout. Just looking around at all the shit that is out there, is fairly satisfying to me.
Last stop was Gap. I had to return a gift that was purchased on line and it took a long time to get a store credit b/c the computer kept just wanting to credit the card that was originally charged. JB was getting a little rambunctious and at some point I turned my attention to him. He looked at me and then at these two manikins nearby. After several moments of eyeballing the manikins he said, "What that mommy?" I explained what they were and the name: Manikin. I explained what they were for: to display the clothes and that they weren't real, they only existed so that people could see how the clothes look when they get worn. JB asked me, "He going somewhere?" I was perplexed for a few seconds until I grasped his point.
"No," I replied. "That one is wearing a bag, and that one is wearing a coat. They are dressed to look like they are going somewhere, but they don't leave the store. They don't walk or move. They aren't real."
He thought about this and asked a follow up, "They just pretending?" I agreed with that assessment and re-iterated the purpose of manikins to display clothes. Then he looked around the store with the confused and somewhat horrified expression of someone who wakes up to a world he barely recognizes:"Mommy, they everywhere."
I could seriously have died. He slays me. In the 3 days since the eye-opening discovery of manikins, JB cannot stop talking about them. And I too am forever changed. They really are kind of creepy. The ones in Gap don't even heads. and if you go into a store like that and you are just looking around with the intention to notice such things, they really ARE everywhere.
But more importantly, How cute is this kid?
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
The kind of snow I love
It snowed last night and until about 8pm tonight.
It snowed 2-3 times more than it did last week when the entire state was shut down... But nothing was shut down. The commute home was a little messy. But JB got to "hunt" plows- which is what we call it when he scans the roads and shouts, "PLOW" every time he sees one; and when he stops and asks, "What's that noise?" after he hears anything in the distance that could be even remotely compared to a plow.
This is the kind of snow I love- fluffy, light, but with snowball/sticky properties. The kind that sticks to every branch of the trees; winter-wonderland-esque. Truly beautiful and amazing- the kind of snow that makes you want to take your kid sledding- if he weren't afraid and crying anytime he accidentally touches the stuff...
In a related story, our driveway is HUGE! 9 inches of fluffy-sticky snow is (well let's just leave it at) a lot! I was out there for 2 hours and the "heartbreak" (that's what we call the chunky, heavy snow excrement that the plows dump where the driveway meets the road) nearly killed me. For the last 15 minutes, the only think that kept me from leaving a snow barricade at the end of the driveway was hearing myself shout, "LAST CHANCE WORKOUT" every few minutes as if Jillian Michaels was telling me I couldn't give up and go in...
I was not impressed with the neighbors... 2 guys out with their snow blowers took 20 minutes of their lives to clean up their driveways while I was almost dying- approaching the 90 minute mark with my shovel. There was no offer of assistance with the heavy snow... Maybe they didn't see me. Or they thought I had a snow blower since I was throwing the snow so high and so expertly. Or they didn't hear me grunting and sniffling (possibly over the sound of their own whistling).
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Words to live by
My friend- Laurie's dad died a year ago today.
She shared with me an email she sent to her siblings this morning asking them to join her in visiting memories of their dad and the things they learned from him.
Here's her list:
- Always root for the underdog, “Go Saints!”
- Be proud of driving an old car
- Dress conservatively while you act radically
- Make a contribution to the world
- Change the world for the better
- Believe in science
- Human beings are flawed but we still love them
- Strive to find out what makes people “tick”
It touched me, this list.
Each are things I want to teach my kids.
Each are things I'm proud to have been taught along the way.
RIP, Wagner - still touching the lives of people that never even met you.
She shared with me an email she sent to her siblings this morning asking them to join her in visiting memories of their dad and the things they learned from him.
Here's her list:
- Always root for the underdog, “Go Saints!”
- Be proud of driving an old car
- Dress conservatively while you act radically
- Make a contribution to the world
- Change the world for the better
- Believe in science
- Human beings are flawed but we still love them
- Strive to find out what makes people “tick”
It touched me, this list.
Each are things I want to teach my kids.
Each are things I'm proud to have been taught along the way.
RIP, Wagner - still touching the lives of people that never even met you.
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Constantly entertained by big brother
ML loves watching JB.
And sometimes JB will perform for him too.
And sometimes JB will perform for him too.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Relaxing but productive Sunday
It is not right to go this long without a newsletter...
That's what happens every time I sit down to do anything at the computer - I think "I NEED TO WRITE A NEWSLETTER" - and then I get overwhelmed and write nothing at all.
We have very cute boys, but they cannot be trusted to sleep thru the night. I keep saying I'm going to stop talking about how tired I am and see if that helps me feel less tired, but every time someone asks me how I am, it comes out like uncontrolled diarrhea - I can't stop talking about it - How tired i am...
(shaking it off) But that's not what this post is about...
Today was kind of an amazing day. JB must be in a growth spurt b/c he is sleeping and eating a ton. He only woke up twice last night to ask if he could come into bed with us and at 5:30, Katy brought him in... (This is his new thing, calling for Mama in the middle of the night... One night I went in because he was crying and it was my turn to comfort him and he threw some stuffed object at me and cried out, "NOT YOU! MAMA!! YOU GET OUT!!!" Katy thinks this hurts my feelings and in the daytime hours maybe, but at 2 am??? I think my snores ten seconds later do not accurately reflect how broken up I am that she is the MOC [mother of choice] at that hour...
He slept 'till after 8am and instead of rushing him and trying to kill ourselves to get to church for 9 o'clock, we went to the 11am service. This called for a lot of slow-paced dressing, packing, and down-right lolly-gagging that still put us in the sanctuary at 10:50am. (Our normal arrival time for the 9am service is between 9:08 and 9:15.)
When we got home it was way past nap time and BOTH boys slept SIMULTANEOUSLY! JB for over 3 hours and ML, slightly less. This meant that the mommies had time to talk to each other. And sit and make some plans for the week, prepare some menus, and even start working on dinner. It was quite lovely and when the boys woke up, they actually seemed to sense that we were more prepared to care for them than when they fell asleep. I think they were sweeter to us because of it.
ML had his first week of day care and did amazing. He's the bell of the ball, known over there at school as the "best behaved baby we've ever had!" That's some kind of break for a newbie to leave that kind of impression... JB has demonstrated a little jealousy. Not toward his brother, but toward us. It's normal regression and the kind of behavior that part of me is silently cheering him on for: "good-for-you, little guy! If someone is taking over your territory as 'cutest in the land,' go ahead and do something to get noticed"...
He peed his pants 3 times last Monday. The first time, in the morning right after Katy tried to get him to use the potty and he refused (could have been an accident)... The second time was 10 minutes later after she got him in a new, dry outfit... The following exchange occurred:
Kt: (to JB in the 2nd wet outfit of the day): What's going on? Why didn't you ask to go potty?
JB: (offhandedly gesturing to the wet spot on his pants) Sometimes it happens...
Then at day care, he did it again.
Who cares. We don't. But the kid is potty trained, he knows exactly what he's doing.
ML is just beautiful. He's such a happy baby. He smiles all the time and laughs and is generally mellow yellow. He is huge and we've nicknamed him "Hoss." Needing an equally cool nickname for his brother, JB has been dubbed "Slim".
As in:
Mom #1: Which one do you want to get out of the car?
Mom #2: I'll take Hoss. You get slim...
I am going to bed now, 'cause I'm sure this cycle of rational sleeping patterns cannot continue for an entire 24 hours.
;-)
This is a week for catching up with the writing on the blog, I can just feel it!!!
That's what happens every time I sit down to do anything at the computer - I think "I NEED TO WRITE A NEWSLETTER" - and then I get overwhelmed and write nothing at all.
We have very cute boys, but they cannot be trusted to sleep thru the night. I keep saying I'm going to stop talking about how tired I am and see if that helps me feel less tired, but every time someone asks me how I am, it comes out like uncontrolled diarrhea - I can't stop talking about it - How tired i am...
(shaking it off) But that's not what this post is about...
Today was kind of an amazing day. JB must be in a growth spurt b/c he is sleeping and eating a ton. He only woke up twice last night to ask if he could come into bed with us and at 5:30, Katy brought him in... (This is his new thing, calling for Mama in the middle of the night... One night I went in because he was crying and it was my turn to comfort him and he threw some stuffed object at me and cried out, "NOT YOU! MAMA!! YOU GET OUT!!!" Katy thinks this hurts my feelings and in the daytime hours maybe, but at 2 am??? I think my snores ten seconds later do not accurately reflect how broken up I am that she is the MOC [mother of choice] at that hour...
He slept 'till after 8am and instead of rushing him and trying to kill ourselves to get to church for 9 o'clock, we went to the 11am service. This called for a lot of slow-paced dressing, packing, and down-right lolly-gagging that still put us in the sanctuary at 10:50am. (Our normal arrival time for the 9am service is between 9:08 and 9:15.)
When we got home it was way past nap time and BOTH boys slept SIMULTANEOUSLY! JB for over 3 hours and ML, slightly less. This meant that the mommies had time to talk to each other. And sit and make some plans for the week, prepare some menus, and even start working on dinner. It was quite lovely and when the boys woke up, they actually seemed to sense that we were more prepared to care for them than when they fell asleep. I think they were sweeter to us because of it.
ML had his first week of day care and did amazing. He's the bell of the ball, known over there at school as the "best behaved baby we've ever had!" That's some kind of break for a newbie to leave that kind of impression... JB has demonstrated a little jealousy. Not toward his brother, but toward us. It's normal regression and the kind of behavior that part of me is silently cheering him on for: "good-for-you, little guy! If someone is taking over your territory as 'cutest in the land,' go ahead and do something to get noticed"...
He peed his pants 3 times last Monday. The first time, in the morning right after Katy tried to get him to use the potty and he refused (could have been an accident)... The second time was 10 minutes later after she got him in a new, dry outfit... The following exchange occurred:
Kt: (to JB in the 2nd wet outfit of the day): What's going on? Why didn't you ask to go potty?
JB: (offhandedly gesturing to the wet spot on his pants) Sometimes it happens...
Then at day care, he did it again.
Who cares. We don't. But the kid is potty trained, he knows exactly what he's doing.
ML is just beautiful. He's such a happy baby. He smiles all the time and laughs and is generally mellow yellow. He is huge and we've nicknamed him "Hoss." Needing an equally cool nickname for his brother, JB has been dubbed "Slim".
As in:
Mom #1: Which one do you want to get out of the car?
Mom #2: I'll take Hoss. You get slim...
I am going to bed now, 'cause I'm sure this cycle of rational sleeping patterns cannot continue for an entire 24 hours.
;-)
This is a week for catching up with the writing on the blog, I can just feel it!!!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Ted Kennedy's worst nightmare
I just can't handle the media reporting on this... They've got Obama defeated in 2012.
The spin is, "the democrats are reaching too far", the country's not with them. I'm telling you, the democrats are acting too much like cowards... Since when does a 19 seat majority in the senate indicate presidential impotence?!?
When did 60 votes become the required number to pass ANY legislation?!? Whatever happened to a 51 vote majority
The composition of the 109th Congress (2005 - 2007) was as follows: Senate: R=55, D=44 House: R=231, D=202
The composition of the 110th Congress (2007 - 2009) was as follows: Senate: R=49, D=49 House: D=233 R=198
The composition of the 111th Congress (2009 - 2010) is as follows: Senate: D=60, R=40 House: D=257 R=1708
UNTIL, Scott Brown is sworn in and then it will be Fifty- NINE to FORTY-FOUR... Apparently, a filibuster will be law of the land and this means that somehow the MINORITY is in charge.W.T.F.
Why are the democrats such ball-sacs? look at this: Apparently Jim Webb (D- Virginia) believes that the other 59 elected senators that are either Democrats or caucusing with the Dems are not in power, not allowed to govern because this screwball that got elected in the state that every conservative LOVES to hate (MA) needs to take his seat and filibusterer the shit out of the majority party's platform...
Where's the political memory?!? Having only a five sear majority did not prevent "W" from doing whateverthefuck he wanted... I just don't get it? Why are the democrats such ball sacs?!?
It is hard to throw your heart and money and energy behind the political party that gets beat up by the Christian right for being everything from blasphemous, to "anti-religion" to evil, but then the members of that party spend most of every day turning every cheek- like a bunch of pale, skinny boys getting beat up in an ally. I just don't get it. What are they doing?!?
ugggh...
On the home front, we are tired. I've been hacking my way through the last couple of weeks and I'm getting sick of feeling sick. The cumulative effect of the holidays and the change in sleep patterns for both boys, plus JB's surgery and the few days of NO sleep that brought has been amazing. This weekend, we got 2 full nights of sleep and still, we were like, "huh... what's going on?!?"
It sure can make a woman feel weak. Maybe if I just stop talking about how tired I am the fatigue will improve... Worth a try, right?
Friday, January 15, 2010
Bean
This is a re-post from last year... the time gone by has changed, but not the sentiment.
-------------
Just a shout out to our Bean. We can't believe it will be 5 years this summer since you died. We keep you close every day and try to live up to and honor your zest for life, your love for family, your willingness to jump under a car hood to help a friend.
You would'a loved these kids, Bean. Hope you;re watching them.
I think you are right here with us, the very sparkle in their little eyes.
XXXOOO!!! Happy Birthday, Bean!
-------------
Just a shout out to our Bean. We can't believe it will be 5 years this summer since you died. We keep you close every day and try to live up to and honor your zest for life, your love for family, your willingness to jump under a car hood to help a friend.
You would'a loved these kids, Bean. Hope you;re watching them.
I think you are right here with us, the very sparkle in their little eyes.
XXXOOO!!! Happy Birthday, Bean!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
We're home
Maybe I was too Pollyanna going in, but JB's tonsil/adenoids/ear tube surgery was so much worse than I expected. At the end of the day, JB did fine, but he was pretty miserable and he acted like a REAL
No matter what we asked of him, the answer was "no". The reverse psychology we tried was confusing even to me... At one point I heard myself telling him, "okay, I'm going to go tell the nurse to give this pain medication to another little boy, since I don't want u to have it."
?!?
I wasn't saying it angrily. Just sweetly trying to entice him into desiring something he wasn't allowed to have...
Totally fucked up!!!
Our biggest problem was that hospital discharge was contingent on his drinking and eating. But the more we harped on it, the more he refused: face all swollen, thick drool falling out, voice distorted and muffled, eyes rolling around in his head from the narcotics. I would have given anything to let him just do whateverthefuck he wanted to, but apparently dehydration means all sorts of terrible things in this scenario; not the least of which is increased discomfort for him.
We used the alarm on the iPhone (as we have been for potty training) to negotiate a sip of apple juice every 5 minutes. And TWO hrs later, he had put away 118 cc (4oz).
Nightmare.
I cannot hound a kid this little, this sick, for this long, with such poor results without wanting to off myself... Not. Kidding.
Thing was, except for two bites of a banana, that 118 cc was our only evidence that he could swallow after the surgery. That was literally ALL we could get him to take in after two days of not eating. Finally, when I was resigned to the fact that we would be staying another night at the hospital (visions of ML's illness and the emotional panic of "we're never getting out of here" PTSD dancing in my head) the surgeon came in and suggested he might do better at home.
Indeed. Apparently, with 2 days of IV on board, it would take 36-48 hours of him drinking NOTHING to get dehydrated. And all we have to get into him is 2-ish ounces every 3-4 hours. ML burps up more liquid than that!!!
So, JB has done better at home. A lot better. Including a nap in his own bed, a meal of at least 15 mini penne and several sips of both water and milk, a bath, brushing of teeth, and piling into a queen sized bed to sleep with his moms (and not a hospital twin).
Some advice for any that follow:
1) If your kid has never really had juice, it does not magically become an enticing reward or treat, post anesthesia. I think he might now never drink the stuff.
2) The same is true for jello, pudding, and popsicles. Though I think he might come around to these foods tomorrow, it seems that JB isn't really into the "sweet treats".
3) Handy Manny is everything that Bob the builder is not: calm, confident, polite, low-key, sweet, etc. I have a serious crush on Handy Manny (where I just seriously wanted to crush Bob the Builder)... Buying the Handy Manny DVD for this hospitalization may have just saved my life!
Not. kidding.
I'm saying this after watching that DVD all frigging day; and I don't even care if I have to watch it again tomorrow.
4) Sippy cups (with the valve taken out) is the way to dump some beverage in their mouth, when you are looking around- as I was- for some type of "hose" apparatus... If only I could find a way to spray some liquid in there... then he would be force to swallow it...
Pre-operative fun times:
A FEW MORE COMMENTS:
1) I don't know how single parents do this shit. I'm not kidding. My wife and I have been sleep deprived for weeks, probably months... AND we have each other AND we have family pretty much always available to help. AND family living with us right now taking charge of caring for ML during this. I just don't know or get how single parents do it.
2) Haiti. Earthquake. Awful.
3) Have you read "The conservative case for Gay Marriage" Newsweek cover story this week? It was written by Ted Olsen (conservative lawyer that successfully argued Bush v. Gore in front of the supreme court.) Ted Olsen and David Boies (Progressive lawyer that unsuccessfully argued Bush v. Gore to the Supreme Court) are the plaintiff lawyers attempting to overturn Prop 8 in California. I know the risk these lawyers are taking risks with my rights. If they bring the Prop 8 trial to this Supreme Court and they lose, it could set back marriage equality DECADES... That is why initially, HRC and Lamda Legal and mainstream gay rights groups opposed these two, white, straight guys taking charge in this battle.
But I can't help feel that they are doing it the "right" way. The other option: Enlisting only liberals in the fight and "waiting for the right time"??? Could there be a more "ball-sac" way of "demanding equality"?!?
I think not.
These guys... If they pull it off... Are going to go down in history as brave, American heroes. They are heroes in my book even if they don't pull it off. The arguments they are making are void of trickery, obvious, and compelling. Handy Manny has some competition for my heart today...
You can keep track of the trial (with commentary) here:
I'm going to try and put the feed in the sidebar... it's very interesting.
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Holy worst-night-of-sleep EVER, Batman
It was a sinus-y, drippy, achy, restless, "my-son-is-having-surgery tomorrow, so I'm not going to properly medicate myself" attempt at slumber; punctuated by ML's Q2hour "please pop my binki back in" whimper, and JB's Q3hour "I'm coughing, I need water, WHAT DOES IT MEAN I'M GOING TO THE HOSPITAL?!?" restlessness.
1/2 way through the 5 hours I allotted myself to lay down, I remembered some ? urban legend about Vick's Vapor rub as a conductor of electricity that may cause fire if an EKG machine or defibrillator is used on someone that has used Vick's Vapor rub... What is that? Is that from ER in the 90s? Did I make this up? GSO readers, please respond!
My alarm was set for 4:18, but at 3:50am, I just couldn't take it anymore.
I've popped the Tylenol sinus, am going to have some tea, a light breakfast before the boy (who is not supposed to eat anything) wakes up. Then I'll check on the laundry, the (sort of) packed bag, Katy, and then wake JB so we both can have a hot, hot shower together to loosen up the mucus.
He's going in for ear tubes, tonsillectomy, and adnoidectomy. We expect to be there about 26 or 28 hours and then back home. There's a one week moratorium on school, and a 2 week moratorium on "physical activity"... That should be fun with a 2.33 year old :)
We've been telling them all week that he is sick with a cough and a drippy, messy thing. They haven't seemed too worried. This attention to keeping his providers informed has led him to 2 pediatrician visits in 5 days. I guess there's a chance they will look at him, hear his lungs, and/or decide that they can't do the surgery, but hopefully we can get this over with.
AS FOR ME, if anyone asks, IT'S ALLERGIES!!! IT's ALLERGIES, and if it looks worse than that, I'VE BEEN CRYING- A LOT!!! I know they don't want anyone even the least bit sick at this hospital. But I promise to be all Sudefeded up and never cough except into an article of my clothing and stay hidden in his room... I just couldn't not be there. I think I would ache and cramp and pace to DEATH if I couldn't be there.
1/2 way through the 5 hours I allotted myself to lay down, I remembered some ? urban legend about Vick's Vapor rub as a conductor of electricity that may cause fire if an EKG machine or defibrillator is used on someone that has used Vick's Vapor rub... What is that? Is that from ER in the 90s? Did I make this up? GSO readers, please respond!
My alarm was set for 4:18, but at 3:50am, I just couldn't take it anymore.
I've popped the Tylenol sinus, am going to have some tea, a light breakfast before the boy (who is not supposed to eat anything) wakes up. Then I'll check on the laundry, the (sort of) packed bag, Katy, and then wake JB so we both can have a hot, hot shower together to loosen up the mucus.
He's going in for ear tubes, tonsillectomy, and adnoidectomy. We expect to be there about 26 or 28 hours and then back home. There's a one week moratorium on school, and a 2 week moratorium on "physical activity"... That should be fun with a 2.33 year old :)
We've been telling them all week that he is sick with a cough and a drippy, messy thing. They haven't seemed too worried. This attention to keeping his providers informed has led him to 2 pediatrician visits in 5 days. I guess there's a chance they will look at him, hear his lungs, and/or decide that they can't do the surgery, but hopefully we can get this over with.
AS FOR ME, if anyone asks, IT'S ALLERGIES!!! IT's ALLERGIES, and if it looks worse than that, I'VE BEEN CRYING- A LOT!!! I know they don't want anyone even the least bit sick at this hospital. But I promise to be all Sudefeded up and never cough except into an article of my clothing and stay hidden in his room... I just couldn't not be there. I think I would ache and cramp and pace to DEATH if I couldn't be there.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Saturday, January 09, 2010
The (tiny) Godfather
For about a 1/2 a year, we have been getting JB to lend us his ear by telling him, "I have a secret I want to tell you."
We tell him we have a secret and he brings his ear dutifully near the secret-bearer's mouth.
Then one of his moms whispers the secret: "I love you."
His response varies.
Sometimes, he giggles and says, "No, mommy."
Sometimes he nods and says, "yeah."
Sometimes he thrills us with a return whisper: "I love you too."
We've done it over and over again and sometimes he even tells us the secret unprompted.
Tonight, JB told his brother, "ML, I have a secret I want to tell you..."
I wasn't there, but Katy told me... She waited, excitedly. She smiled at the adorableness she knew she was about to witness...
JB leaned his lips close to his 4 month old brother's ear and whispered:
"Big. Brother."
(Baaaaaaaahahahah ahhahahahhahahhaha.)
Not exactly sure his point, but it seemed like it might have been some kind of warning.
--------------------------
UPDATE: He's done it a few more times now, and the secret JB seems to be whispering is:
"I'm your big brother."
We tell him we have a secret and he brings his ear dutifully near the secret-bearer's mouth.
Then one of his moms whispers the secret: "I love you."
His response varies.
Sometimes, he giggles and says, "No, mommy."
Sometimes he nods and says, "yeah."
Sometimes he thrills us with a return whisper: "I love you too."
We've done it over and over again and sometimes he even tells us the secret unprompted.
Tonight, JB told his brother, "ML, I have a secret I want to tell you..."
I wasn't there, but Katy told me... She waited, excitedly. She smiled at the adorableness she knew she was about to witness...
JB leaned his lips close to his 4 month old brother's ear and whispered:
"Big. Brother."
(Baaaaaaaahahahah ahhahahahhahahhaha.)
Not exactly sure his point, but it seemed like it might have been some kind of warning.
--------------------------
UPDATE: He's done it a few more times now, and the secret JB seems to be whispering is:
"I'm your big brother."
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Back to children's hospital next week
JB told us tonight that his "ear hurts". In the history of all his ear infections, he's never told us that. Either b/c he didn't have the language, or b/c the fluid didn't cause him all that much discomfort. He's never tugged on his ears, he's never moved his head with any indication that he was having ear pain, even when he was little...
That one time his eardrum ruptured, he did scream all night, but he was a baby and we were new parents... we didn't know what the hell was going on.
Now he's got the words, and it was just a little sadder to hear the complaint directly from his little mouth. But actually, we've been waiting for this...
Last week (or maybe 2 weeks ago) he went for his ENT follow up visit (every six months since his ear tube placement surgery last December) and his hearing is back to being significantly affected due to fluid behind his ear drums. Also, his tonsils are big and the ENT told Kt that our boy needed to get the ear tubes replaced and also that he should get his tonsils and adenoids removed.
This is an overnight stay and we were initially torn (having a little PTSD about ML's illness and returning to the sight of our 7 day "vacation of terror" this past October) as time passes, we both can't help but get excited for JB who doesn't even know that he is sick and the reason he is drippy, whinny, coughing, snoring, etc is b/c he needs surgery. We're "excited" (though stressed) because we both believe that he will be a new little boy without all this fluid and pressure in his ears and if he can breathe better and therefore feel more rested on a regular basis...
The surgery is a week from Tuesday. Tonight, we gave him Tylenol which is sucked down like a man dying of thirst in the desert. Thursday is his pre-op physical. If he's still complaining tomorrow, we'll be forced to call the pediatrician and/or the surgeon and see if they want/need us to do anything sooner than next week.
That one time his eardrum ruptured, he did scream all night, but he was a baby and we were new parents... we didn't know what the hell was going on.
Now he's got the words, and it was just a little sadder to hear the complaint directly from his little mouth. But actually, we've been waiting for this...
Last week (or maybe 2 weeks ago) he went for his ENT follow up visit (every six months since his ear tube placement surgery last December) and his hearing is back to being significantly affected due to fluid behind his ear drums. Also, his tonsils are big and the ENT told Kt that our boy needed to get the ear tubes replaced and also that he should get his tonsils and adenoids removed.
This is an overnight stay and we were initially torn (having a little PTSD about ML's illness and returning to the sight of our 7 day "vacation of terror" this past October) as time passes, we both can't help but get excited for JB who doesn't even know that he is sick and the reason he is drippy, whinny, coughing, snoring, etc is b/c he needs surgery. We're "excited" (though stressed) because we both believe that he will be a new little boy without all this fluid and pressure in his ears and if he can breathe better and therefore feel more rested on a regular basis...
The surgery is a week from Tuesday. Tonight, we gave him Tylenol which is sucked down like a man dying of thirst in the desert. Thursday is his pre-op physical. If he's still complaining tomorrow, we'll be forced to call the pediatrician and/or the surgeon and see if they want/need us to do anything sooner than next week.
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Two of my sweetest moments as a mom...
Happened in bathrooms today...
1) JB is in full potty training mode. He's in underwear except at night and has been relatively accident free. Today I had to go to the bathroom and he insisted on coming in with me. He was distractedly playing with a toy, but when he heard my first drop of pee hit the water, he immediately turned his attentive eyes to me. With a proud, eager smile he congratulated me: "GOOD JOB, MOMMY!"
(Sigh)
2) Tonight as I was getting him ready for bed, we were working thru our routine. The regular dental hygiene segment is as follows: JB brushes with a standard kid's toothbrush for as long as he wants and then I brush his teeth with that same toothbrush. Then, he gets to use my electric brush. (I used it as a reward one night thinking I would forever regret that split second of poor judgement, but he really likes it, and uses it well and actually puts it on his teeth, etc.)
Tonight he balked when I handed him his toothbrush and just as I thought it would be a big'ol battle, he asked sweetly, "You brush my teeth, Mommy?" and he handed the brush back to me. He allowed me to really get in there and brush. He stopped to ask me if I saw any food on his teeth (??) and in the middle of my cleaning- his mouth full of spittle- he told me encouragingly, "You are a really good toothbrusher, Mommy."
I'm sure this kid will say plenty of things in his life that will reflect back my not-so-deeply-hidden inner asshole, but today many of the things he said made me think "Wow, we are doing pretty good with this parenting thing."
Sent from my iPhone
Blog abandonment
Yes, we are still alive...
We've had house guests and family visiting since the 19th. The new home is housing this mayhem and merriment swimmingly. The boys and their beds have been moved several times with very few negative effects. At the busiest (Christmas) there were 9 of us here; the four
of us (kt, JB, ML, and me) all in our room.
Kt's dad (g'pa) came the sat before Christmas (19th) thru the 26th. "The grannies" arrived on the 23rd with Kt's brother, Josh, and his fiancé, Linda. J and L left with g'pa. The grannies are here for 2 more weeks to help us keep ML out of day care a little longer.
Kt started back to work last Monday. Originally, she wasn't going to go back until Next week, but a slow start has it's benefits. Plus, she got pd for 5 days, but only had to work 2.75 days. It's a mountain of madness to fall back into., but she's handling it well. It has been a crazy time but by now, I think we are getting used to crazy times. I have a lot to blog about, but not a lot of awake time that isn't consumed by my desire to suck the marrow out of these precious times with these adorable boys. I've been lucky too to spend some time with good peeps and also catching up on some movies and HBO.
Thank you to all GSO readers. You have been an amazing source of support to us in 2009. Thank u for being a part of our extended family.
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