ugh...

Today is one of the first times I feel truly uNcOmFoRtAbLe... There is simply not enough air.

The bean seems to have (again) crawled into my rib-cage and is playing footsie with my lungs.

I went to gap to try to find a few more maternity options, and a dressy outfit for next weekend's wedding adventures. I brought as many things as I could carry into the changing room, and after a few costume changes, I was sweating like a farmhand. It was air conditioned in there. I could feel the breezy draft, and still, several times a minute, I had to use my forearm to wipe a layer of perspiration off my brow. I was panting, dripping, and then I started to sugar crash. I quickly mobilized my credit card and purchased a huge arm-load of stuff. (I figured I could determine from home whether or not some or all items should be returned) Tunnel-visioning to the only logical cure for a my current jitters, I waddled across the street for a milkshake. But the line at StoneColdCreamery was too long. I was desperate and so I pit-stopped at KFC. It was nauseating but necessary. It was, perhaps, life-saving.

Anyway, that was hours ago. I am now at home, wearing non-restrictive clothing. I tapped the thermostat down to 71 degrees and still can barely breathe. Not to downplay the increasing hugeness of the bean inside my body, I am sure that this is at least 15% psychological. Feeling short of breath can easily initiate an unconscious sense of panic. Just the feeling of not being able to breathe can make it harder to breathe. (DAMN YOU, Biology AND evolution!!!) Plus, anxiety on the Sunday night after a vacation cannot be ruled out as a cause of breathlessness. Also, some bad news about my father's mom and worrying about her health, her future, and the affect it will have on the emotional well being of my parents and extended family is undoubtedly contributing to some of the physical distress.