Saturday, January 31, 2009

How nurses lose their muffins

A former student of mine keeps me laughing with his status updates on facebook.

Yesterday, he sent me an email:

I took care of a 69-year old man, a 5-year resident of (long term care facility). Last night he got hungry, reached over the counter of the nurse's station, and stole a muffin. He aspirated on it and arrested, and now he's brain dead.

Death by muffin. Greatest story ever.
I replied:
It would be the "greatest story ever" if he was dead dead, but he is in fact only brain dead, and that makes the story just "sort of great" and alternatively kind of gruesome.

I am more worried about the nurse manager of (long term care facility) and the "safety" protocols that are now going to have to be written and implemented about pastry consumption on the premises by staff and patients. I wouldn't be surprised if they have to implement a q 15 minute "muffin check" on every patient or a "pat down" of all visitors to the ward, or a change of shift "baked goods count" for the next several months.

Do you see what my job has done to me, I admit I'm dazzled by the death by muffin headline, but it just seems like a lot of paperwork to me...
I've told the story twice, and both times was asked to put it on the blog... sick senses of humor these healh care providers have!

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