i-i-i-i am h-h-h-having a-a-a-a-a- badddd d-d-d-day

That's the last thing JB said before he finally started to settle down and cease production on his 6th major melt down of the day. (For those of you just tuning in, "the day" is defined by the 3 hours he is awake before day care and the 3-4 hours he is awake after day care; and our boys are on day 3 of their new day care.) It has been a very stressful, tense, and LOUD day for our family.

ML is doing great, it should be said. Except for some sad faces when his brother is crying, he seems very content and happy.

The (verbal and written) reports from the new day care are that both kids are doing "great". Well behaved. Happy, playful... No problems. Then he got home (JB) and fought, screamed and cried for 40 minutes 3 separate times.

This morning, it was the same deal- screaming and fighting and crying from the minute he woke up. We didn't have waffles in the house and no time to make waffle batter and you woulda' thought we told him, "There will never be any food in this house to eat ever again" when we laid a plate of pancakes in front of him; with all of the despair and protesting.

He is so sensitive.

(I don't know where he gets it... but let's just say when I was a kid, I cried nearly every day at school, and whenever possible, I put myself to bed before the arrival of the occasional babysitter b/c it was easier for me if I "just didn't see her/him".)

Katy and I tag-teamed him the best we could because no matter how much empathy we have for him (and trust me when I tell you, my heart is full of empathy for him) when you try all your "nice cards" and you pull out your singing sweet songs tactic, and you do your intellectual "reassuring and rationalizing" and you throw in a little cajoling for good measure... and he is still kicking, screaming, snotting, lashing out and throwing himself on the floor...
At that point, a parent's inner asshole really wants to get in this game.

In the adult world, it is acceptable to pretty much turn the other cheek, 1,2,3,4-ish times, but after that, most folks agree, it's okay to put your dukes up: an asshole needs to be treated like an asshole. In an adult interaction, you'd be an asshole not to act like an asshole to an asshat that was treating you with pure assholery.

Am I right, playas'?

But with 2 year olds, If you let your inner asshat battle it out with a barely-formed "asslet" who is attempting professional asshole-ism without a license or any formal training, you only end up looking, feeling, and sometimes smelling like a bigger asshole. (and usually a bully too.)

Essentially, adult rules don't apply. But you have to keep reminding your brain of that because you've worked really hard and waited a long time to be on level playing field and get into the world of adult rules... And until these kids got here, you were very successful navigating, negotiating, and fighting in this adult world.

Katy finally got him into the tub- her nerves are as shot as mine with all of the "not-unexpected-but-still-hard-to-take" civil disobedience in this house. Then we let him watch "the big race" on Cars the movie... then I laid with him in the bed for a few minutes to talk to him about why today was so hard.

He listened, and then went to bed, asking me sweetly to cover him up... expertly disguised as a little angel in his "digger and dump truck" pajamas...