Sunday, May 04, 2008

In honor of Patrick's birthday...

I'm still working on the baby's newsletter. It was mostly done but I couldn't get it completed to post it on the 28th (though, thanks to the time stamp, history will show me to be more prompt than I am...)

I had a rough week last week... the honeymoon phase of "back to work" is fading fast and I'm experiencing a lot of emotions, tears, and anxiety. I've felt a little like I'm falling apart, even though the last week was particularly full of amazing times with family and friends and conversations that show how vast my support network is at work, home, and across the nation...

1) KK's award ceremony for being a big sister a week ago Thursday. I was so hormonal proud, inspired, and in love with her, that I cried like a baby.
2) Jake's church dedication and the brunch with loved ones that followed
3) Phone call from L in the middle of the week:

L: I've been reading the blog. You don't seem so good.
Me: I haven't said anything on the blog
L: I can read between the radio silence... you're tired, you're sickie, you're trying not to fall apart...
Me: hmm. It's good to have intuitive friends, even if they do move across the country.
L: you should call the Indian- she'll talk you down from your noose.
Me: I'm not gonna do that.
L: I'll make her call you.

4) Phone calls from LAC and the Indian to support "whatever you decide about breast feeding."
5) Katy and JB just being such awesome beings to come home to...

Anyway, in the last 3 days, I've done 2 things I've never done before in my life:
ONE: called out of work to take a yoga class.
I was seriously on edge, and while I believe wholeheartedly in "mental health days," I can barely get past the guilt to actually take one myself. When I had a split second vision of needing to take a vacation in the loony bin during one of the "wake up" calls after midnight on Friday am, I decided it might be beneficial for everyone to just take a sick day. The yoga was a very practical solution. I needed to stretch and breathe.

Then today... number TWO: I went rock climbing!!! I've been wanting to do this for about 5 years. Thanks be to God that L.Marg (hard G) and C-lo have jumped into this sport because not only has this long anticipated event finally occurred for me (because of their invitation today) but also, I'm not sure I could have handled the harness humor without their back up jokes on my first outing.

It is altogether fitting that it is Pat's birthday... I think I kicked a little ass today, brother!
I impressed myself at least which (since I have spent the better part of two work weeks beating the shit out of my psychological self) is pretty fantastic!

Thanks peeps! Happy birthday, Mr. White.


C-LO said...


You totally "rocked" rock climbing. L and I are anxiously awaiting the next harness wear. LOL.

Seriously though, absolutely give yourself permission for mental health days! You are a new mom. OMG. You totally deserve a break every now and then.

(If you can't do this, do this. And if that's too hard..

Dozer said...

T -- you were a total stud muffin out there! I am looking forward to posting the video (check out those muscles!), as well as our next climbing adventure! (What are you up to evenings this week?)