Just one of her jobs...

In her "spare" time, my wife teaches a course at Yale. One morning a week, during her administrative time at her regular job, she heads to New Haven to teach the third year FNP students "clinical conference" - a course designed to get the group together to breakdown, analyze, and present cases from their individual clinical experiences. She has frequently joked that this course is little more than group therapy and her job is to constantly remind the students that they are doing well and will survive and probably thrive once they get "out there" after graduation.

She admits that this was one of her favorite courses when she was at YSN and loves teaching it because it keeps her focused, up to date, and of all the graduate level courses she has experienced, it is the one that seems extraordinarily geared toward reality. It is the practical information they share for 2 hours a week that keeps students attending this class when they are skipping other classes to complete research and/or attend to other high priorities (like a hunting for a job.)

Since before we left for Spain, Kt has been involved in an email conversation with her boss that went something like this:

Boss: I'll see you at graduation.
kt: I don't think I will be able to attend graduation ceremonies this year.
Boss: You really should go.
kt: Thank you. I would love to go, but I will be just getting back from Spain that same day.
B: Great. I'll send you a ticket.
Kt: Um... thank you again, but it will be terribly difficult to make it.
B: You really should attend. I think you will want to be there.

You get the point, it went on and on and on.

Finally, assuming that her job was on the line, kt requested a ticket for me to attend also. There was some private discussion between my wife and me about the possibility that Kt might be winning some kind of award as one of the more cryptic lines in an email said something like, "I don't want to let the cat out of the bag..."

When we arrived at the ceremony all sweaty (it's much more humid here than in Barcelona) and jet-lagged, I looked at the program and reminded my wife that there might be nothing more in this day for her save a "Will all the part time faculty please stand for a round of applause..."

We high-fived our favorite teachers and students as they processed in and sat through what was actually a quite inspiring commencement address by Loretta Sweet Jemmott, PhD, RN, F.A.A.N. It would have been enough to justify our drive down, but then one of Kt's students got up to present the Annie W. Goodrich Award for Excellence in Teaching.

From the introduction I thought it might be Kt's name that was eventually called, but understand- the criteria for this award implies that this should be a full time professor- available above and beyond... wisdom... expertise... devotion to students... dedication to nursing education. Also, understand that I somehow learned a pervasive tendency to expect the other shoe to drop at all times, so I don't like to get hopes up- it could be bad luck, or-alternatively- it might indicate a tendancy toward egomania... Anyway, in the middle of my internal, mental debate, I got to hear my sweetie's name called and watch her parade up on stage in front of all the tenured faculty and highly respected, robed guests in attendance. She gave a nervous and humble thank you, expressed gratitude to her teachers, mentors, and students, and made it off the stage without shedding a tear or shitting her pants (both of which I almost did just sitting, stunned in the audience.)

PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A BIG DEAL. This is the only teaching award offered once a year at the Yale School of Nursing. Previous winners have written the text books of the courses they teach and changed (literally) the face and process of nursing and education. It is a student nominated award that must be approved by the faculty and dean. But the truth is, as noted above, getting student to take the time to submit nominations is not always easy at this point (immediately prior to graduation) in their academic careers. Often, the nominations come from PhD candidates who wish to acknowledge their advisors.

It seems Katy's students pulled a coup- all 10 of them spent time writing out detailed nomination essays because they felt this award represented what she offered them. It might have been a rebellious, smirking nod intended to mark their personal (FNP) stamp on their graduation ceremony. But it could not have been a more clear or sweet show of respect for my wife who does go above and beyond in her wisdom, expertise, and dedication. Also clear and very thrilling was the obvious pleasure of the dean and many of the faculty- who were our teachers and some of whom have become our friends. One said to Kt: "I just think it is absolutely the coolest thing!"

So another highlight of an already fantastic month was witnessing my wife collect the
2007 Annie W. Goodrich Award for Excellence in Teaching.
It was a truly wonderful experience and I'm just so proud!

Post Script de el Espania

We're home. It was a 23 hour journey, waking at 7:30 am in Spain and falling exhausted into bed at home 23 hours later. There were a few minutes of shut-eye on the plane, but not much more than that. The last few days were a little exciting. There was a fantastic and exotic dinner (post to follow.) Then there was a day at the beach during a SNAFU of gargantuan proportions.

Katy and I escaped out of the city on Saturday, catching a train to Sitges- a beach community 35 minutes south of Barcelona. It was another typical "perfect day" weather-wise, and I had a bikini on because: 1) My theory has always been, "The only thing worse than a big, flabby belly is a big, white, flabby belly," and 2) By God, it was time to get into and SWIM in the Mediterranean Sea.

Just as the train is about to pull up, Katy decides to check her cell phone messages which haven't been checked in nearly a week b/c she has no over-sea service... There was a message left little over an hour before that sounded something like a telegram describing a tragedy:

There's a mix up with the apartment reservation (stop)
We're being kicked out (stop)
Call us ASAP (stop)
We're packing up all of your stuff and will probably be leaving in the next 5 minutes (stop)

We tried to get in touch by phone, by email and by phone again.

Then we did the only thing we could do... we hit the beach. Lying on the beach, I felt a little worried, "Do you think they'll find the ipod in the night stand??? Do you think we will have to stay in a hostel tonight??? Do you think we could fly out early?" But then other thoughts bunched into my mind as well, "I love the ocean... We should come back here again... Why don't we tell them to bring all the luggage out here to stay here tonight???" After an hour, we jumped up, dusted the sand off and headed back to see wtf had happened and whether or not a back-up strategy had been executed. We found our family in a new hotel on the ritzy part of town. There was a pool and a split level hotel room in our future. For one night, we lived probably less than 2 miles from our rented apartment, but a whole world away. We got to see another side of the city, and we tried to gush gratitude and humility on my inlaws for taking care of the troubleshooting and the heavy lifting (literally - I'm a notorious, over-packer...)

Only problem is we didn't get to say goodbye to the Ramblas and we didn't get to finish all the souvenir shopping we had planned. Still, it's the luckiest ending of a gargantuan SNAFU that anyone could hope for...

Hard Rock Cafe

Until yesterday I have never eaten at a HRC. I always thought they were a little cheesy and formulated to justify the cost. Now, I finally I understand why these establishments are so wildly popular... What´s wrong with a little familiar music and food when traveling far from home?

I promise you, there´s nothing that isn´t right about the arrangement!

Burger for me, broccoli for the bean.
Yums.

Milestones

Today, I got into the Mediterranean Sea. Well, not all the way in, but definately got my feet in. The crab in me needs salt water the way some people need a triple bipass. Seven days into the vacation and it was almost time to pack it in. (Traveling is not as easy as it looks when others do it...) But this am, I called to check in with my mom and then I spent some time with my sweetie at the sea shore... Hearing my mama´s voice (I´m not going to lie) still sets me at ease. And K-2-the-T with me on the beach, in the sun, with the waves... Now I feel like I could be just getting started with this European thing... why not stay longer!?!

Also, today marks the halfway point in the gestational cycle of el/la beañ. 20 weeks down, 20 to go for theoretical, full, proper development. I have not heard a word from this little bean yet. There were at least 2 times when I thought I felt movement ("quickening") but it might have also been peristalsis. Until i can feel something that makes me say, "THAT WASN´T GAS..." I´m going to assume that this kid is not ready to make his-her presence known.

I´m definately starting to show a little- a bump that cannot be denied or sucked in anylonger.
It is kind of cute.

Hola from España part dos

It´s Day 5 here in Barcelona. Yesterday we saw the Sagrada Familia, a temple/church of immense proportions that also happens to tell the story of the holy family in carved stone façades. It´s impressive to say the least. It isn´t complete despite approximately 125 years of work so there is lots of scaffolding. There are amazing stained glass windows with crazy beautiful colors peaking out around every corner. Tracy got some amazing shots of them while bored standing in line for the lift up one of the spires. There´s an amazing view of the city from there and also a staircase down that made my knees shake a little. I had to use some car sickness avoidance techniques to make it down without tears. Not that I would have fit down the middle of the very tiny spiral staircase, but still.

After our now daily afternoon nap the 5 of us headed off for our now favorite italian restaurant with a sweet waitstaff that recognizes us and gets the wine glasses ready. Until you´re 4 inches away from the doorway there is no sign of a restaurant, let alone a restaurant you´d want to eat in, but it´s quite cozy and delicious (i.e. many Katy options).

Today we explored two more Gaudí buildings, both exclusive homes made into apartment buildings and tourist attractions: Casa Batlló and Casa Milá. Casa Batlló wasn´t open to the public the last time Josh and I were here so that was something new and exciting for us. I can´t wait to load our pictures so everyone can see them!

It´s almost time for our nap so I´ll sign off for now. More later (or in 5 minutes when Tracy logs on!).

Hola from España

We are here and the weather is perfect... I only start with the weather b/c it is so perfect right now... it is 23 degrees (I think that is about 75 F) with a perfect breeze. We just came from the Parc Guell... Which was quite amazing.

The flight was pretty horrific though I tried to put on a tough act:

First, the plane blew a fuse on the runway and had to be towed back to the gate. Twice.

Of course, that´s what I´m assuming happened. All we really know is that the power when out on the airbus.

Twice.
Before take-off.

Then, after is seemed like they "plugged us in" for a while, we waited in line for take off. And took off... without crashing... which, frankly- I never thought would happen.

Later, KT and I admitted to each other that we both thought that we were going to die... that we were going down... that there was no way we would maintain power while in the air for the entire trans-Atlantic flight. She kept her cool, though, and when I expressed concern responded in a non-plussed manner: "If you´re really concerned, let me know, I´ll tell them to let us off." If she had said, "I know, I think we´re going to die," to my, "This doesn´t look good for a safe arrival." I´m pretty sure I would have started screaming, "LET ME OUTTA HERE!" Fortunately, she did not show the slightest hint of fear and we did not, therefore, make a collective spectacle of ourselves.

We landed without incident, exhuasted and me with 2+ pitting edema bilaterally up to my knees. I´m not going to lie, that freaked me out a little, but I have a lot of extra fluid on board, and I guess it is to be expected...

The apartment is pretty awesome, located right on Las Ramblas. The Ramblas feels a little like Boston to me. Also, I woke up the first morning and thought that I was in France because all the drunk Catalian songs and screams sounded more like French than Spanish to me. It is loud at night, and it is a narrow stairwell that puts 92 steps between the lobby door and our rented pad, but the location cannot be beat!!! The Mediterranean Sea is about a 1/2 mile to the West of our stoop. And though hospitible beaches are not necessarily within walking distance, I can smell the ocean air at all times. (TT very happy.)

The bean is doing well. S/he is keeping to his/her self, not causing any trouble, and we are exceedingly happy just knowing s/he is on the way. This time together with each other and family is just what the Dr(NP) ordered, not only because having the opportunity to visit an ancient city is wonderful, but also because the busy lifestyle and fatigue have significantly reduced my physical activity in the last few months, and being out in open air- walking, hiking, (and climbing 92 steps 3 to 4 times a day) feels really amazing!!!

More to follow... Peace.

PS- The internet cafe across the street from our apt is attached to a SUBWAY, so every time I write a post it will smell like the summer of ´92 to me :)

fruits and veggies

We thought the comparison of our fetus to fruits and vegetables was over at about 10 weeks but no, not at all. Our baby has progressed from fig to lime to jumbo shrimp (what?) to lemon (for the shrimp?) to avocado (we do love avocados) to large onion (not one of those puny white onions either) to large sweet potato (mmmm, sweet potato fries...) to, this week, a small zuchinni. 19 weeks. Almost half way there. Woah.

Tracy is starting to show and she is looking splendid. Pregnancy does in fact suit her.

At any rate we three are headed to Spain, specifically Barcelona, this afternoon with my family for a vacation/destination celebration of my mom and Anna's 20th anniversary. It will be Tracy's and the Bean's first trip to Europe. Despite my severe traveler's anxiety, we are very excited and can't wait to search the city for churros con chocolate, ceramics, wine, olives, and pictures of amazing buildings. Speaking of which, my brother is bringing a fish-eye lens. Sweeeet.

More from Spain in a few days!

Say what!?

This was a conversation that, had you been our neighbor, you probably would have heard at top volume from our bedroom window:

Katy: Oh my god! I have to deal with that before I sleep.
Tracy: Why are you putting clothes on?
Katy: Ew! I'm not doing it without clothes on, honey!

This conversation was in reference to:
	Removing a booger from Tracy's nose
	Removing a spider from the ceiling
	Removing a clog from the toilet
	Sex
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Last first class

I taught a class at my grad school alma mater this year. It was 1 part pure terror, 1 part tedium, and 5 parts pure inspiration. It was a weekly reminder why I do what I do, a way to fill in a few holes in my knowledge, and an opportunity to feel useful if only for 90 minutes a week. (I know, you say, "You're a nurse practitioner! You must be useful every day!". And while ostensibly that's true, I mostly spend my days convincing people with viral infections that they don't need antibiotics, people with bacterial infections that they do need antibiotics, diabetics that insulin is not a punishment, and thyroid patients that "it's not their thyroid". It doesn't usually feel like I'm useful.)

So when the students finished last week I sent them one final email with one final thought on an article I gave them as their congratulations-you're-graduating gift. (It was, not surprisingly, a New Yorker article, the subject of which was aging.) I read my email to them again today to give myself a boost:

One thought I had on the way home about the article I left for you: that article really reminded me about humanity. When we work in healthcare, I believe we are stewards, guides, partners in better health. Nothing we do or don't do changes the final outcome. We will all age in some way. How we do that is up to us. There is often not a "right" answer, which makes the job more nebulous, but also more open to interpretation and molding for specific patients and for you.

Don't be afraid to mold your practice, to seek information, and to be proud of what you have already accomplished. Remember that you will never know everything; if you did you wouldn't be able to speak or walk and you would be incredibly bored. Use your resources: it takes a village to keep the village healthy. Remember that you will cry at least once out of frustration, at least once out of sincere empathy for a bad situation, and at least once because you kicked ass. Be confident and humble: it is a combination that will take you far.

That time of year

It's that time of year again. The time when you walk outside and the air smells fantastic. When the garden turns green and the dogwood turns pink (as previously noted in this post). It's also the time of year for some other things:

Tai Chi neighbor comes back outside. (Tai Chi Neighbor is a man who lives behind us who does tai chi, or his version of it, each day. Sometimes twice a day. It's how we know it's spring. And when we don't see him we know it's winter)

When I get dressed or undressed there's a distinct possibility that I will get my hand nearly chopped off by the ceiling fan (if you've ever been in our house you know how low the freakin' ceilings are).

There is the incessant sound of helicopters overhead. As my friend Eric, who happens to live a stone's throw from the heli-pad at a local hospital, says, "When it gets warm people just go outside and get stupid".

Our house is magically relocated to the seaside. When the windows are open you can hear the highway. We call it the ocean. We love the ocean.

On the Road Again

So, as you have already had to hear about, I drive a lot... To the tune of at least 350 miles a week. I'm in my car nearly 2 hrs a day on average and that's just to get to my one job. (It's not like I'm in sales, or home care, or in the business of delivering things.) I've been doing this commute with 3-4 weeks off annually for over 3 years now. And I think it needs to be said...

When you spend this amount of time driving on the interstate, you can't help but notice:
In their cars, people pick their noses.

A lot.

You can't take a trip without seeing one.
If I get to work and I've only seen one, I stop and consider,
"That was certainly a slow morning commute."

It's something I never thought I'd do.
But when you spend that much time alone in a car,
sometimes you lose yourself in the moment(s)...

Home Improvement Part 2

After some serious elbow grease from Tracy's family, we finished the dining room painting:



and the nursery (theme announcement will be forthcoming...when we decide...). The color on the far left won, it's called Relish. How cute is that!?

4 Month OB Appointment

Last week I went to my 4 month check up on Monday morning.
The only thing was, my appointment wasn't until Tuesday morning.

In choosing an OB, we made a kind of difficult decision to go close to home and not close to work. This puts me in the situation of having to be an hour or more late to work and/or leave work early every time I have an appointment. One time already, I drove the 45 minute commute to work, left after 2 hours to drive back for an 11:45 am appointment, and then did the whole commute over again to spend 4 more hours in the office. I did that I guess to show that, "this pregnancy is not going to slow me down," or some crap like that. There are so many things I do at my job that could be done with more efficiency in the quiet peacefulness of my home. In fact, I truly believe that if I worked one day a week from home, my productivity would increase by about 1000% because there would be the potential of 6-10 hrs of uninterrupted labor that might lead to me completing some projects. Unfortunately, a major aspect of my job - the part that interrupts what I think of as efficient productivity - requires me to be present, playing the part of corporate parent, sounding board, security guard, trouble-shooter, and clinical operations director (which is actually my title.) Anyhoo, this is the only reason that choosing an OB close to home was a question- in not-too-long, I will be going to the OB every other week, and then every few days, and at that point, my productivity at work maybe will fall to microscopic levels. I digress...

When I sheepishly asked at the office if they could fit me in rather than forcing me to repeat the schedule juggle the next day, my faith our just-barely-more-than randomly-chosen practice was reinforced; they did fit me in - quickly- without so much as a sigh or a roll of the eyes.

I met a different MD in the practice and she was great - she laughed at all my jokes, and answered all my questions and concerns in a reassuring manner:
Yes, it's normal to have some cramping of the lower abdominal muscles when I sneeze or cough...
Also normal to have a little positional vertigo...
No problem to head off to Spain in a few weeks...
It was a fine decision to wait until 21 weeks for the ultrasound...
If you're still okay with it, I'll throw out all this paperwork for the early testing you refused...
A total weight gain of 3 lbs so far; BP 120/70; baby's heartbeat STRONG.

So far, so good.

Home Improvement Part 1

We spent yesterday prepping the house and yard for today, the real work day. The Webers are coming to transform a couple of rooms that we've been "meaning to do" for some time now. The dining room border needs to be finished, the nursery needs to be completed, and then there's the junk next to the garage to deal with (a la Sanford and Son.

So the real decision is what color to paint the baby's room. Comments received by 10am (that's right, today, as in less than 3 hours from now) will be considered while we're deciding. But we'll probably just go with what we think anyway.

The old color (not an option, already primed over):



The 3 choices side by side:

Wicked!

I have also been meaning to post about our trip to NYC to see Wicked. We first experienced tickets as gifts when we received Hairspray tickets (wrapped around a bottle of hairspray) from my mom some years ago for Christmas. Since then it has become a common theme at weddings and Christmases. Teri and Bill (and Mackenzie) got us the Wicked tickets this year and not even the nasty slush that made our feet cold and wet could stop us from having a great time.

We happened to see the show on St. Patrick's Day, which was ironic given that the show is about being "green". It was hard to tell if the audience was wearing green because they were about to get drunk on beer, or if they were in solidarity with the show.






The show was fantastic, especially for the adolescent girl in all of us. It's definitely on the list of "must see again".

3 am Blog maintenance

It's the middle of the night and I'm wide awake making a few lists...
I was just chillin' out in the bed, in the dark, meditating, relaxing, willing myself back to sleep, and then I thought of the blog. Now I'm up and cleaning this aspect of my life... There are a lot of posts that I started that never really published...
From January:
There's the one about going blonde again
There's the one about Anne's visit, and
There's the one about Anne's new nickname- "the womb whisperer"
There's the one about L and F's cocktail party/ indian baby shower
There's the one about how the quality of my life signifcantly improved when everything changed at work
There's the one about the quality of my life significantly improved when after considering many drastic changes, a decision was made to change nothing at home
There's the one about the weather
(There's always one about the weather...)

In February and March:
There were all the unwritten the posts about the fatigue, the uncertainty, the fear, and the nausea
The one about the sadness I felt when Tonja's mom died
The one about our favorite Christmas Gift. (How Katy and I have been obsessed for several years now with the story and music of the broadway sensation: Wicked. And how Teri and Bill planned a St. Patrick's day weekend in NYC to see it. ) The unfinished post would have spoken of how the show was all we had hoped for and more and it would have given a little more detail about all the obstacles we had to overcome in order to get there:

• 10 inches of snow, ice, and sleet falling overnight
• Our most accessible car having a dead battery in the AM
  
• neighbor's snow blower breaking when he tried to help
• 4 wheel driving out, around the incapcitaed car, making a mess of the driveway to catch the train
  
• staying and dining with Ric and Kim
• arriving home at noon
• shovelling to get to the car and back INTO the driveway
  
• removing and replacing car battery
• feeling totally exhausted after a fun and low-key weekend away
  

Update: Just in naming them, I now consider all these posts "written."
There, that was easy...

Stay tuned for another post that will (hopefully) be written soon:
The one where my sister is pregnant too!