Dear JB, Baby Boy, Bean, J.Br, J-bird, Bug, Bud, Rosebud, Boo, Boo-Boo, Ruggy, Sir-Squeaks-a-Lot, on and on and on (we’re like crazy-lunatics with the nicknames...)
Today you are one month old. In your short life, you have already met a lot of people. We are overwhelmed by all the cards and gifts you have received, and all the people that have expressed excitement and shared our joy in your birth. (We are buried in “to be written” thank you notes.) Your grandparents and aunts and uncles have outdone themselves… Thoughts and prayers and gifts have been sent from literally all over the globe: from far away friends, classmates, family, family of friends, and online peeps (some of whom we have never even met.) In your first month, you have already attended a birth (your cousin, Cam’s) and a funeral (Mrs. Honan’s- the mother of a friend and mentor of your two moms.) I assure you, this could only happen to a child who is surrounded by an adoring and loving family/community.
You were born 2 weeks early. When we were admitted to the hospital and realized we would not go home without you bundled in our arms, we worried that we had not completed our professional obligations. And we knew our chores and baby preparations were not quite finished at home either. We had to ask your Aunt Teri (9 ½ months pregnant herself) to key into our house and finish organizing your room and clean the
When you got to us, you were a little jaundiced… Your coloring is now less orange, but still tan-ish and more olive-colored than pink. Everyone comments on your “healthy coloring.” Your Nana says it looks like you’ve been, “sunbathing in the Bahamas.” Your eyes are slate blue for now. Your skin has been pretty clear - very little “baby acne.” Your tiny head is perfectly round (one of the benefits of a c-section). You have short, dark hair that is curly when wet and flaunts a pretty severe cowlick. The part in your hair brings to mind a straight-laced, geeky, conservative, businessman or politician, no-nonsense type hair style. I can’t wait to get some “product” in there and start to manipulate it a little.
You are the first boy born into our family in many years, and habits are hard to break. In the past when we all thought of and talked to babies, they were usually little girls, so you got called “princess” and “a good girl” a lot when you were first born. As if to differentiate yourself, you have that hair (discussed above), you are stout, and you are a major league grunter. You make a lot of noise when you eat and when you sleep. I am oddly comforted by your noisy sleep. I like lifting my head off the pillow and hearing you breathe loudly across the room. I have been hiding the nose aspirator from your other mother who hears your snortling and tends to want to manually clear out your air passages.
You are a breastfed boy and have done a good job from day one “latching on.” Mommy has a lot of milk… But potentially having too great a supply (as compared to having too little) has made all of our lives easier. Last week we purchased a 0-3month “nuk” and finally have found you a “binkie” option that you seem to agree with.
You often make me laugh during our breastfeeding time. Either because you pull away, choking with a mouthful of milk spilling out all over your face, or because you are grunting or groaning like a cave man who is eating his first BBQ. One time I looked down and your two hands were spread wide on either side of my breast as if you were eating a giant Big Mac. Another time you literally burped yourself off my nipple, shouted a moan while slapping your clamped fists down to your hips, and as a finale let out a whoopee-cushion-worthy peppering of liquid fireworks into your diaper. It was extremely lady like! All kidding aside, you have made your mark here already: Last week for the first time, I heard someone say, “Good boy,” to one of your female cousins.
Things are still pretty confusing in our home. Coordinating your care, your meals, and making sure all of us are getting enough sleep is not easy. I have not had this many consecutive weeks off from work since before I graduated from college, yet this is no vacation. There are so many items on the “To do” lists that it almost seems like it is time to stop writing those lists. You have very smart, well-educated mommies, but we are like children trying to figure it all out: calling our moms, calling our friends who are moms, and carrying around “What to Expect in the First Year” as if it were a life preserver on the Titanic. We never thought we would spend this much time studying and reassuring each other about the color, consistency, and smell of your poop. We worry that you are not sleeping enough and then that you might be sleeping too much; that you are too warm or too cold. It’s not that you are fussy, or doing anything wrong, it’s just we’ve never lived with a baby before. We find ourselves overwhelmed by how defenseless you are and how vulnerable you have made us.
We cherish your tiny parts, perfect movements, and your breath - trying to enjoy each moment without worrying too much. We try to encourage each other not to be paranoid, overbearing freak-shows when it comes to you and your safety… (We’ll see how that goes.) We’ve made a parenting pact: Getting to know you and spending time just “being” together as a new family has become our highest priority and our full time, most important job.
We have all barely been apart in the last month and I am grateful for that experience. My favorite times together have been during “family naps” in the afternoon and your baths. You seem to love bath time. You completely “Zen-out.” Your expression goes soft. Softness is not lethargy; your eyes stay alert and open. And the warm water seems to "wash your worries away."
You are a good baby and only cry or fuss when you need something - food, sleep, a burp, or diaper change. I am a big fan of swaddling little babies to keep their limbs tucked away and prevent the inadvertent flailing about that can wake a sleeping tyke. Your other Mama leaves the swaddling to me because she says I am much better at “swaddling the shit” out of you after you have fallen asleep. I notice you seem to like to stretch out and seem to hate the swaddle, (as evidenced by all the grunting when you realize you are all bound up…) but for at least a little while longer, I’m gonna assume that you like the swaddle as much as I do… I’ll bend to your will if the grunting doesn’t subside in a few more weeks, or if you shred the swaddling blankets in anger before then.
You sleep so well and peacefully when you are being held, are resting upon our chests, or even if you are lying beside us… You sleep in the bassinet and Pack and Play, but not for as long and not as quietly as when you are held. We are clinging to the notion that an infant can not be spoiled, because we would rather hold you than put you down at this point anyway. Sometimes you smile in your sleep. Yesterday, you seemed to look right at us and grin widely - as if you knew us. We know it is probably a coincidence (or gas) but it was very adorable and a preview of the sweet expressions we can look forward to…
We whisper words of love hundreds of times a day. But words cannot express or address the blessings bestowed on us this month. It is our pleasure and honor to meet you and welcome you into the world, little man. We’re eager and thrilled to ride this rollercoaster with you (even if we ride sans safety harnesses.)
We love you with hearts overflowing,
Your Mommies
1 comment:
Great post. Everyone looks tired but very happy and !OMG! Tracy you look f'ing unbelievable. You should push those puppies out for a living. Keep it up, you fox. And, keep letting the boy drag down your v-neck. He knows how to keep an audience tuned in!
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