Newlestter: month 5

Dear JB,

Today you are 5 months old.

This month you've changed so much but in such subtle ways that my mind mind is spinning trying to figure out how to write about it.

You started day care. 2 days last week, 3 days this week, and you will be full time next week. You were there for about 6 hours before your nose started running. But you are a trooper and that little cold seemed to resolve itself in a few days. You have handled the change with very little disruption to your happy personality. You nap for them for one and two hours at a time. You eat, burp, and make diaper waste without incident. You have charmed them and we are told daily you are the "cutest kid ever" (We're sure they say this to all the 'rents.)

You are much more awake and engaged. You have gotten so good at using your hands. You grab for things constantly. You understand how to make toys spin and light up. You play with our fingers as if it was a knitting assignment. You just want to get everything into your mouth, but your serious, innocent expression makes it seem like you are grabbing at everything because you seek knowledge and can't wait to "learn" and "figure it out."

When we change you we have to put you high up on the table because if we don't when you kick you will hit your heels and feet and toes hard against the wood or plastic. When i see you kick like this, it reminds me of how you used to kick when you were inside of me. I felt the sensation, but couldn't really imagine what was doing that to me- an arm? a butt? a foot? It is like a donkey kick, you bring your knee up, throw your foot out, and slap your leg down with great force. I know all children kick in the womb, and perhaps there is uniformity in the way all kids kick, but I like that there is something (many things, really) that you do innately; that you either learned or instinctively knew on your own.

Many elements of your personality are emerging, things that you are or are discovering. This kicking that you do, that I recognize from the outside was also on the inside, it is something that you couldn't have learned from us, something that you brought out with you. I'll keep it in my fore-brain as a reminder that the learning is a two way street. We have as much to learn from you as you from us...